Postmodern Glacier professor defends his dreadful study as “misunderstood”. It wasn’t.

March 13, 2016 • 11:00 am

Along with three co-authors, Mark Carey, a dean and professor of history at Robert D. Clark Honors college at the University of Oregon, recently published a dreadful postmodernist paper in Progress in Human Geography, “Glaciers, gender and science: A feminist glaciology framework for global environmental change research.” (reference and link below).  I wrote about it on this site last week, and have since read the whole thing twice. I still haven’t recovered.

At first I thought, with others, that the paper might be a hoax, but it wasn’t—it’s a real paper, just as opaque and crazy as Alan Sokal’s paper that caused such a furor when published in Social Text in 1996. But Sokal’s paper was an out-and-out hoax, designed to show just how insane the whole postmodern enterprise really was. And it did its job—mostly. But it didn’t eliminate this kind of nonsense in the humanities, because papers like that of Carey et al. are still being written, still being reviewed favorably and published, and still getting funding from the American taxpayers.  Carey’s work, including this paper, was funded by a National Science Foundation grant to the tune of nearly $413,000 (see below).

The Carey et al. paper was written to try to to infuse the study of glaciers with a feminist perspective. But it suffers from a number of problems:

  • It’s horribly written, in the kind of obscurantist, ideology-packed prose that we’re used to from postmodernism. And it says the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. These people need to learn how to write.
  • While the paper does call attention to the underrepresentation of women in the earth sciences, and mentions one program designed to give young women experience in glaciology and polar ecology (admirable aims), that’s not its main point. Its main point is to show how a “feminist perspective” in glaciology will advance the field. It does not make this case (see below).
  • It’s actually anti-science, for it repeatedly points out the problems with so-called objective Western science, namely its refusal to incorporate the voices of marginalized people, but, more important, to accept “other ways of knowing” about glaciers. It turns out that these “other ways of knowing” are simply subjective and emotional views incorporated in human narratives, art, and literature. These are not “ways of knowing” that will advance the field. Science is repeatedly denigrated, and, in fact, I’m surprised that this stuff was funded by the National Science Foundation. Has it become the National Science and Other Ways of Knowing Foundation?
  • The paper is an exercise in confirmation bias, picking and choosing bits of the literature that confirm the authors’ preconceived views that science is a male-dominated, Western hegemony that tramples all over women and minorities. Reading the paper, you see that it’s a series of cherry-picked anecdotes that support this view. While it’s certainly true that minorities and women have been discriminated against in science, that is well known, and remedies are already being formulated. The paper itself adds nothing to that discourse but to apply it to glaciology, and in an anecdotal rather than systematic or statistical way. One could write exactly this kind of postmodern paper about any discipline in which women and minorities are underrepresented. But, as I said, the point of Carey et al. is not to re-plow this well-trodden ground, but to claim that the field of glaciology, and how we use our knowledge to effect change, will be drastically transformed using a feminist (and minority) perspective.

In the end, the paper, infused with anecdotes, confirmation bias, and calls for “other ways of knowing,” reminds me a lot of theology. It’s a maddening and useless piece of work, and it angers me that the money we taxpayers spent on it wasn’t diverted to something that actually adds to our knowledge. Here are a few highlights (?) of the paper and my take on them—quotes from the paper are indented:

The rationale:

The feminist lens is crucial given the historical marginalization of women, the importance of gender in glacier-related knowledges, and the ways in which systems of colonialism, imperialism, and patriarchy co-constituted gendered science. Additionally, the feminist perspective seeks to uncover and embrace marginalized knowledges and alternative narratives, which are increasingly needed for effective global environmental change research, including glaciology (Castree et al., 2014; Hulme, 2011).

. . . The tendency to exclude women and emphasize masculinity thus has far-reaching effects on science and knowledge, including glaciology and glacier-related knowledges.

We’ll see what the “other ways of knowing” add to glaciology in a minute.

The good stuff:

Carey et al. mention one program, “Girls on Ice,” that gives training about glaciers in Alaska and Washington State to help facilitate women’s entry into science and give them “life training.” That sounds useful, but the authors can’t resist this postmodern snipe:

While the program may perpetuate a male-female binary that feminist studies and queer theory have long sought to dismantle, Girls on Ice plays a key role in glaciology to provide female role models. . .

But what’s the alternative to “perpetuating that binary,” which, after all, is really a pronounced bimodality with a low-frequency continuum between the male and female peaks? Should the program be “Girls, Transgender Women, and Genderfluid (But Mostly Female) People on Ice?” But I digress. . .

The dissing and deposing of science. Here are a few quotes:

Much geographical fieldwork involves this masculinist reflexivity generating supposed objectivity through distance from and disinterest in the subject (Coddington, 2015; Sundberg, 2003). These conclusions transcend gendered dimensions of knowledge by acknowledging broader trends in Western sciences that have sought to place science at a god-like vantage from nowhere, ignoring both situated knowledges and the geography of science (Haraway, 1988; Shapin, 1998; Livingstone, 2003).

. . . Castree et al. (2014: 765), for example, contend that other forms of knowledge, discourse and understanding [beyond natural sciences] must be properly acknowledged, precisely because they both affect, and are affected by, science and technology. These forms range beyond the cognitive to encompass the moral, spiritual, aesthetic and affective.

These calls align with those of feminist political ecology and feminist postcolonial science studies that seek to unsettle dominant Western assumptions, narratives, and representations which tend to privilege the natural sciences and often emerge through the co-constituted processes of colonialism, patriarchy, and unequal power relations (Harding, 2009).

Yes, that’s the postmodern Sandra Harding, whose writing, along with that of Judith Butler, is just as bad as that in this paper. Note how poorly written that last sentence is. It reeks of obscurantism. But wait—there’s more (my emphasis)!:

These alternative representations from the visual and literary arts do more than simply offer cross-disciplinary perspectives on the cryosphere. Instead, they reveal entirely different approaches, interactions, relationships, perceptions, values, emotions, knowledges, and ways of knowing and interacting with dynamic environments. They decenter the natural sciences, disrupt masculinity, deconstruct embedded power structures, depart from homogenous and masculinist narratives about glaciers, and empower and incorporate different ways of seeing, interacting, and representing glaciers – all key goals of feminist glaciology.

and

But the natural sciences are not equipped to understand the complexities and potentialities of human societies, or to recognize the ways in which science and knowledge have historically been linked to imperial and hegemonic capitalist agendas. Feminist glaciology participates in this broader movement by suggesting richer conceptions of human-environment relations, and highlighting the disempowering and forestalling qualities of an unexamined and totalizing science.

In other words, “Hey, science, look over here—don’t forget us in the humanities!”

Granted, if you want to incorporate scientific findings into social policy, you need to know something about society. But the examples in this paper don’t tell us anything useful about that. What are those examples? Read on.

The “other ways of knowing.” 

It turns out, after all the bloviating of Carey et al. about the need for marginalized perspectives in glaciology, that the “other ways of knowing” are completely lame. They involve art and literature, and don’t seem to advance glaciology— either technically or in its interactions with society. The authors give four examples of these “other ways of knowing”; get a load of them:

For instance, Scottish visual artist Katie Paterson’s 2007 work, Langjökull, Snæfellsjökull, Solheimajökull, depicts the impermanence of glaciers while broadening the notion of glaciers as repositories for climatic records and diverting what it means to ‘record’ and be a ‘record’ (Paterson, 2007). Paterson chronicled the ordinary sounds of the Langjökull, Snæfellsjökull, and Solheimajökull glaciers in Iceland, and then transferred the audio tracks to LP micro-groove vinyl ‘ice’ records – records created by casting and freezing the glaciers’ own meltwater. She then played the frozen records simultaneously on three turntables as they melted. The audio recordings (available [here]) fuse glacier sounds with the high whine of the ice record itself. After ten minutes, the actual ice LP record deteriorates and the sound melts away. Climatic data from ice core records are often imported into climate models, while rates of glacier retreat chronicling meters melted per year are usually taken directly at face value, with policy implications. Both the ice cores and ice loss measurements feed homogenizing global narratives of glaciers with somewhat restricted views of the cryosphere, lacking emotional and sensory interactions with the ice that occurs in Paterson’s artworks. Paterson and other artists thus intervene in such ‘truths’ by presenting purposefully imprecise social and scientific methodologies and works.

Well, that’s useful, isn’t it? Art it may be, but not glaciology.

Here’s another example.

In addition to glacier artwork, there is also a growing body of literature that expands understandings of the cryosphere and grapples with core issues in feminist geography.Uzma Aslam Khan’s (2010) short story ‘Ice, Mating’, for example, explores religious, nationalistic, and colonial themes in Pakistan, while also featuring intense sexual symbolism of glaciers acting upon a landscape. Khan writes: ‘It was Farhana who told me that Pakistan has more glaciers than anywhere outside the poles. And I’ve seen them! I’ve even seen them fuck! (Khan, 2010: 102, emphasis in original). This fictional story draws from local understandings of Karakoram geomorphology, their cultures of glaciers and mountains, the gendered nature of landscape perceptions, and the legacies of colonialism. In Khan’s story, glacier knowledge, while highly sexualized, is acquired through locals’ interactions with the surrounding glaciers rather than through classic Western channels of knowledge dissemination through reports and academic articles. Khan subverts traditional roles of who acts upon whom, complicating patriarchal assumptions that, as with society, nature must have rulers and the ruled (Keller, 1983).

Pay attention to the notion above that glaciers “fuck”; for, as we’ll see, the sexual metaphor is not nearly so wonderful when applied to men.

Here’s another:

The American science fiction and fantasy author Ursula K. LeGuin has also explored ice and glaciers in several works. Her novel The Left Hand of Darkness (LeGuin, 1969) upends notions of gender while re-imagining masculine polar exploration. The novel sends two fugitives on an 81-day journey across the Gobrin Glacier on the fictional planet of Winter. In a frozen world without warfare, LeGuin imagines a place without men and women, where there are no fixed or different sexes. In her 1982 short story Sur, LeGuin portrays a group of South American women who reach the South Pole two years before the all-male Amundsen and Scott parties. But these women leave no record of their activities in Antarctica, and upon their return tell nobody of their feat. Such a radical, postcolonial, feminist narrative about polar exploration serves to underscore the history still perpetuated today, a history imbued with masculinity and heroic men (Bloom, 2008).

Note that last sentence, which shows that the authors will glean anything to buttress their confirmation bias. This is like theology!

Below is my favorite example of how the authors claim that “folk knowledge” can advance glaciology (my emphasis):

. . . whereas glaciologists may try to measure glaciers and understand ice physics by studying the glacial ice itself, indigenous accounts do not portray the ice as passive, to be measured and mastered in a stereotypically masculinist sense. ‘The glaciers these women speak of’, explains Cruikshank (2005: 51–3), ‘engage all the senses. [The glaciers] are willful, capricious, easily excited by human intemperance, but equally placated by quick-witted human responses. Proper behavior is deferential. I was warned, for instance, about firm taboos against “cooking with grease” near glaciers that are offended by such smells.…Cooked food, especially fat, might grow into a glacier overnight if improperly handled.’ The narratives Cruikshank collected show how humans and nature are intimately linked, and subsequently demonstrate the capacity of folk glaciologies to diversify the field of glaciology and subvert the hegemony of natural sciences.

And here is how the authors denigrate those skeptics who dismiss the effect of cooking grease on glacial advance:

Such knowledge diversification, however, can meet resistance, as folk glaciologies challenge existing power dynamics and cultures of control within glaciology. For instance, in response to Cruikshank’s detailed and highly acclaimed research, geographer Cole Harris suggested instead that Cruikshank attributed too much weight to ‘Native’ stories and non-scientific understandings of glaciers. He questioned the relevance of indigenous narratives about sentient glaciers in today’s modern world by explaining how he consulted a colleague, ‘an expert on snow’, about why glaciers advanced rapidly (surged). The expert ‘spoke of ground water, friction, and the laws of physics. Is it possible, I [Harris] asked, that they surge because they don’t like the smell of grease? He looked at me blankly, slowly shook his head, and retreated into his office’ (Harris, 2005: 105).

And that’s pretty much it: the “other ways of knowing” whereby “marginalized voices” can advance glaciology. Read the paper for yourself if you don’t believe me.

One more point. It’s apparently okay to sexualize glaciers when women do it. But Ceiling Cat forbid when men stick their coring apparatuses (i.e., surrogate penises) into glaciers to acquire their supposedly objective knowledge:

Structures of power and domination also stimulated the first large-scale ice core drilling projects – these archetypal masculinist projects to literally penetrate glaciers and extract for measurement and exploitation the ice in Greenland and Antarctica.

Oh dear–those men with their Big Drills, penetrating the glaciers, are horrible! I’m sure, though, that Carey et al. also mean “figuratively penetrate”.  And then the cores (metaphorical semen?), which have yielded immensely valuable scientific data, are devalued as tools of Western and postcolonial hegemony:

These ice cores were born in the contest for scientific authority and geostrategic control of the polar regions, manifesting the centrality of power, conquest, and national security in the history of glaciological knowledge.

. . . Both the ice cores and ice loss measurements feed homogenizing global narratives of glaciers with somewhat restricted views of the cryosphere, lacking emotional and sensory interactions with the ice that occurs in Paterson’s artworks. . . These interactions and acquaintances with the ice diverge from the more masculinist domination of the glaciers in polar colonial science, ice core extraction, and quantification.

I could go on and on, but I have neither the time nor the will to continue “unpacking” this dreadful paper. If you think I’m exaggerating, read it for yourself—it’s free. And it’s even worse than I have shown above. For example, read the stuff on Arctic exploration, like this:

The scientific leaders of the Canadian Polar Continental Shelf Project (1958–70), for example, attempted to frame the Arctic as an ‘experimental space’ rather than an ‘expeditionary space’, as the basis of the credibility of both their scientific work and Canada’s territorial aspirations. Yet, their deployment of ‘a precarious authority of experiment’ fared poorly in the course of difficult Arctic field work; they could not escape the ‘Boy Scout attitude to Arctic fieldwork’ and the ‘epistemic baggage of the exploratory tradition and adventurous observation’. Though these attempted reframings of Arctic work did not preclude latent masculinities, they did suggest tensions with more explicit masculinities (Powell, 2007).

Carey and his co-authors were rightly slammed for publishing this paper, and in an interview by Carolyn Gramling, a staff writer for Science, Carey has just tried to justify his work. Read the interview: “Q&A: Author of ‘feminist glaciology’ study reflects on sudden appearance in culture wars” (free access). Not only does it make clear that the paper was dead serious, but Carey says all the kerfuffle about and criticism of the paper came from people misunderstanding it. Gramling throws softball questions at Carey—it’s a lame interview in which she doesn’t challenge the paper at all:

Q [Gramling]: Were you aware about the brouhaha over your paper? How do you feel about it?

A [Carey]: Professional research is published in journals for specialists in a given field. When removed from that context and described to nonspecialists, the research can be misunderstood and potentially misrepresented. What is surprising about the brouhaha is the high level of misinterpretations, mischaracterization, and misinformation that circulate about research and researchers—though this has, unfortunately, been happening to scientists for centuries, especially climate researchers in recent decades.

The good news is that people are talking about glaciers! But there’s much more to the story than just the glaciers. People and societies impose their values on glaciers when they discuss, debate, and study them—which is what we mean when we say that ice is not just ice. Glaciers become the platform to express people’s own views about politics, economics, cultural values, and social relations (such as gender relations). The attention during the last week proves our point clearly: that glaciers are, in fact, highly politicized sites of contestation. Glaciers don’t have a gender. But the rhetoric about ice tells us a great deal about what people think of science and gender.

That’s just like theology: Carey argues that the pushback against this paper simply confirms its thesis. It’s clear that he will brook no dissent, for that simply arises from misunderstanding. And that’s like theology, too—Sophisticated Theology™.

I’d love to see Alan Sokal write a mock “defense” of his famous Social Text paper along the lines of Carey’s exculpatory interview. You can pretty much defend any piece of postmodernist tripe by saying that it was “misunderstood;” and in fact I think Sokal has raised exactly this point somewhere in his writing.

In the meantime, all ye scientists who have trouble getting funding, read and weep about Carey’s NSF award:

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Carey

_________

Carey, M., M. Jackson, A. Antonello, and J. Rushing. 2016. Glaciers, gender and science: A feminist glaciology framework for global environmental change researchProgress in Human Geography, Published online before print January 10, 2016, doi:10.1177/0309132515623368

Neil deGrasse Tyson puts metatarsals in mouth twice

March 13, 2016 • 9:00 am

I’m not sure why Neil deGrasse Tyson is suddenly tw**ting pronouncements about evolution, but he is. Sadly, they’re wrong.

Well, that’s wrong on several levels. First of all, sex is painful (if animals do feel pain) in many species. The one that first comes to mind, of course, is the domestic cat, in which males have barbed penises that apparently don’t feel so terrific to the female during copulation. We’ve all heard the howling of cats in flagrante delicto! And is sex pleasant for male mantids or spiders who get eaten, post copulo, by their mates?

Some arthropods, like bedbugs, have hypodermic insemination, in which males bypass the female’s genitals and inject sperm right through the body wall, with the sperm finding their way to the eggs. It’s not clear why this is done, but it’s likely that it evolved to obviate the “sperm plugs” that some males put in females after copulation to block access by subsequent males. You can get around them by injecting sperm into the hemolymph. As Wikipedia notes, this can be injurious to females—even if the females don’t feel pain:

Traumatic insemination, also known as hypodermic insemination, is the mating practice in some species of invertebrates in which the male pierces the female’s abdomen with his penis and injects his sperm through the wound into her abdominal cavity (hemocoel). The sperm diffuse through the female’s hemolymph, reaching the ovaries and resulting in fertilization. The process is detrimental to the female’s health. It creates an open wound which impairs the female until it heals, and is susceptible to infection. The injection of sperm and ejaculatory fluids into the hemocoel can also trigger an immune reaction in the female.

Other species, including worms, rotifers, and snails, do the same thing.  Why do the females put up with it? Well, maybe they can’t evolve a defense—remember that evolution isn’t perfect. And what matters is the net reproductive advantage of the genes for traumatic insemination, regardless of whether they occasionally cause injury, pain or even death. A female spider who kills and eats her mate has more eggs than one who doesn’t, for she gets that extra nutrition from the noms. If her benefit to egg number outweighs the reproductive cost to the male of giving his life—remember, genes for killing males after mating reside in both sexes, though they’re expressed only in females—then those genes will increase in frequency. The same goes for genes for traumatic insemination, whose benefit when they’re in males can outweigh the detriment of the process to females.

In fact, sex can be unpleasant or injurious to both males and females, so long as the reproductive advantage of unpleasant sex is better than not having sex at all, which it will be. Of course, natural selection will act to make sex less “unpleasant” for animals if it can—so long as there is genetic variation to improve matters. But that variation doesn’t always exist. Female cats must suffer because the male’s barbed penis, which appears to hurt her, also stimulates her ovulation.

Finally, you can fix a gene that is deleterious in both sexes without driving a species extinct. Imagine, for example, a gene that reduced the number of acorns in an oak tree by 1%. That would be deleterious, but such a maladaptive gene can rise in frequency by genetic drift alone, or if it’s tightly linked to another gene that is sufficiently beneficial to outweigh the reproductive cost of the linked acorn-reducing gene. If the population size of oaks isn’t limited by the number of acorns produced (say,  if it’s limited by the amount of habitat), the species won’t go extinct. After all, each time a species improves its gene pool when an “adaptive” gene is fixed, the species was perfectly viable before that happened. It wasn’t necessarily going extinct before its gene pool was improved.

Well, so much for that. Apparently a lot of biologists called out Tyson on Twi**er for his error, but I haven’t looked (I rarely read other people’s tw**ts.) But yesterday Tyson made yet another evolutionary gaffe, and I’m sure he’ll get grief for this one:

Umm. . . what about genes for sterility of workers in termites, bees, wasps, and naked mole rats? It is indeed possible that genes impeding reproduction can be fixed if they’re adaptive in relatives, as they presumably are in these species.  And there is no doubt that there are indeed genes that cause “workers” to become sterile under natural conditions.

I’m not sure why Tyson is making these pronouncements. Maybe he knows they’re wrong and is trying to taunt biologists, but I doubt it—that’s not like him. Readers are welcome to speculate.

Readers’ wildlife photographs

March 13, 2016 • 7:45 am

Here’s a melange of photos from several readers. The first two, of disparate subjects, come from Tim Anderson in Australia:

This picture shows the Milky Way rising from the south-east of Mudgee, New South Wales. It is a 30-second exposure taken with a Canon 6D and a Samyang 14mm f2.8 wide angle lens on top of a Skywatcher Star Adventurer mount.
The Southern Cross is towards the bottom middle of the picture, with the bright Carina Nebula above it. The Drop Bear Nebula is off to the right.
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This is a Black-shouldered Kite (Elanus axillaris), a common predatory bird in southern inland Australia. It is apparently a juvenile (which have tan patching on the shoulders and breast).
Unlike the closely-related Letter-winged Kite (Elanus scriptus), which is commonly employed by Australia Post to deliver mail in country areas, the Black-shouldered Kite lacks useful employment as it is unable to read. Instead it sits about in trees eyeing off the neighbourhood rodents. I found this one perched on the topmost twig of a eucalypt beside the Old Bara Road outside Mudgee, New South Wales.
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These come from reader Chris Knight-Griffin, who sent some frog photos from Clermont, Florida. Can anyone identify the species?

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Anne-Marie Cournoyer took these photos from the Parc National du Mont-St. Bruno, a small park (8.8 km²) near Montréal.

White-tailed deer (Odocoileus virginianus); mother and fawn:

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A black-capped chickadee (Poecile atricapillus) on the hand of a Homo poutinus quebecus!
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The birds in the park are very tame and will fly into your hand. Here’s a photo of Anne-Marie’s partner, Claude, who is clearly the Chickadee Whisperer:
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While we were observing this Eastern chipmunk (Tamias striatus), we realised we were not the only one having an interest in the little fellow! Somebody came flying between us. Did the chipmunk get caught? Not this time!
Anne-Marie would like an identification of the bird. . .
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Sunday: Hili dialogue

March 13, 2016 • 6:30 am

It’s Sunday, and in about a week I’ll be leaving Delhi to head to Bangalore, where I’ll visit Mr. Das and his 40 cats (I’m hoping to write a children’s book about him; titles and suggested plots welcome, though I have some ideas). Then on to Bhubaneswar on the southeast coast to speak to the Institute of Life Sciences. I return to Chicago April 3. Posting will definitely be lighter during that period, as I may lack internet access and at any rate will be out and about, but I expect readers to be faithful! After that, I’ll be in Houston around April 10 for the Lone Star Book fair, and then in Portland, Oregon, where I’ll speak for the Center for Inquiry on April 22. Then, like God, I shall rest.

If you’re in North America, be aware that the hours have advanced by one last night: it’s now Daylight Savings Time.

On March 13, 1639, Harvard College was named after John Harvard (a clergyman); it’s now the oldest college in the U.S. (BTW, the second oldest college, William & Mary, is my alma mater as well; it was founded in 1693.) On this day in 1781, William Herschel discovered Uranus (no jokes, please), and in 1930, the discovery of Pluto was announced, which is of course also a planet! In 1996, the Dunblane School Massacre took place in Scotland, giving rise to new laws effectively banning private ownership of handguns—the same type of laws that should be enacted in the U.S. Oh, right, we’re not Scotland; I forgot. And, in 2003, the journal Nature reported the discovery of the Laetoli footprints by Mary Leakey and Paul Abell, a trail made 3.6 million years ago by a pair of Australopithecus afarensis.

Notable births on this day include Joseph Priestley (1733), Percival Lowell (1855), L. Ron Hubbard (1911), Neal Sedaka (1939), and another of my hearthrobs, Dana Delaney (1956). Those who died on this day include Susan B. Anthony (1906), Clarence Darrow (1938, defense lawyer in the Scopes trial and many others), and, in 2006, Robert C. Baker, inventor of the the chicken nugget that plagues us so today (I’m proud to say that I’ve never eaten a single nugget). Meanwhile in Dobrzyn, Hili is being insouciant toward Andrzej, but the picture is cute: Andrzej is in my spot!

Hili: Nothing develops one better than reading books.
A: It would be difficult not to agree with you, but not all books are equally good.
Hili: It doesn’t make any difference to me.
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In Polish:
Hili: Nic tak nie rozwija jak czytanie książek.
Ja: Trudno mi się z tobą nie zgodzić, ale nie wszystkie książki są równie dobre.
Hili: Mnie wszystko jedno.

 

St. Paddy’s Day in Chicago

March 12, 2016 • 2:48 pm

Yep, it’s true what they say: every St. Patrick’s Day, they dye the Chicago River bright green, using a powdered, vegetable-based dye that is harmless to fish. It’s orange when it goes in the water, and then turns, well, you’ll see. . .

I had to go downtown for shopping today, and when I saw that the usually empty Saturday morning train was full, and most of the people were wearing green, some with funny hats and shamrock-shaped antennae, I knew what I was in for. (Lots of them were already drunk by 10 a.m.; the parade follows the river dyeing.)

Here’s how they do it . The next three photos, sent by reader Joe Dickinson, were taken in 2006 and show the beginning of the dyeing, which starts at 9:15 promptly.

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Photo: Joe Dickinson
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Photo: Joe Dickinson
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Photo: Joe Dickinson

Back to my photos: the result at 10:10 a.m.:

Green river

I mean, it’s really green!

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It was madness: around the Michigan Avenue bridge there were mounted cops to keep people in line, and they were shouting to people on the bridge, “Selfie and then move on!” Here’s a couple with the proper spirit (note the man’s green hair):

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The mounted cops themselves were a tourist attraction. Here’s an Asian tourist using that most nefarious of objects: a selfie stick:

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Finally out of the crowds, I saw two antlike figures on a nearby building:

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They were window washers, and not on a platform, but suspended by ropes hundreds of feet above the ground. What a job!

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