If you follow political news at all, you’ll know that three Democratic candidates, all progressives and all endorsed by Bernie Sanders and NYC antisemite mayor Zohran Mamdani, just won their primaries. And with New York being a Democratic state, that means that, with near certainty, they’ll all be seated in Congress next year.
Let’s talk about the youngest and craziest one, a Democratic Socialist with no experience and a past that is, to put it mildly, checkered. As The Atlantic notes:
The mayor made a much bigger bet in backing Darializa Avila Chevalier, a 32-year-old democratic socialist challenging Espaillat, a five-term incumbent whom Mamdani had initially promised to endorse. Avila Chevalier has taken positions that could make her the most far-left Democrat elected to Congress in the past decade; she has said that “all deportations are wrong,” describes herself as a prison abolitionist, and attended a rally on the day after Hamas’s October 7, 2023, attack on Israel that was widely perceived as expressing support for the attack. (Lander, who now accuses Israel of committing genocide in Gaza, condemned the event at the time.) Avila Chevalier narrowly defeated Espaillat, who had the support of Jeffries and New York Governor Kathy Hochul, among other establishment figures.
Now left-centrist and centrist Democrats, like me, might be distressed by this, as all the winning candidates were not only “progressives” (we need a new word for that ilk), but also opponents of Israel, desiring Palestine to expand from the river to the sea, forcing Jews to don inner tubes. But perhaps Avila Chevalier’s kind of lunacy is limited to deep-blue states like New York, so Jews don’t need to start applying for citizenship in Israel. Still, the Democrats as a whole are turning against the only democratic country in the Middle East, and that’s worrisome. When they get power, like Avila Chevalier, it’s more worrisome.
One reaction is to wring your hands and wail. Another, which is a purgative, is sarcasm, and that’s the direction Jeff Maurer takes in his website post below. Read and laugh (or weep). Quotes are indented, and I quote in extenso because the guy is good and may induce literal LOL:
It’s funny and might offend some, but look at her record (this was written before she won):
How crazy is Darializa Avila Chevalier, the Zohran Mamdani-backed socialist trying to unseat incumbent Adriano Espaillat in New York’s 13th congressional district in the Democratic primary today? Well…how much time do you have? My challenge in this article is not to establish that Chevalier is crazy; my challenge is to find words to describe just how bonkers this Cirque du Soleil-level shit shows truly is.
Like virtually every socialist candidate, Avila Chevalier has a social media feed full of statements crazy enough to make their as-yet-unborn descendents [sic] feel shame. Here are some of her greatest hits:
- She called for abolishing police, prisons, and borders.
- She clarified her position on defunding the police by writing that her vision “means ending policing full stop. Period. No more police at all ever.”
- She retweeted posts saying “yes, literally abolish the border” and “all deportation is wrong”.
- She called the United States “a fucking disgrace”, referred to the US as “occupied” Native American land, and joked about wiping her dirty hands on the American flag.
- She wrote favorably about communism, wrote “seize the means of production”, called for nationalizing utilities, pharmaceutical companies, and “seiz[ing] all properties from landlords”, and wrote that “the pyromania associated with anarchism is very intriguing to me.”
- She called Joe Biden a “rapist” and a “war criminal” and said she wouldn’t vote for him, said “fuck Kamala Harris”, and criticized Bernie Sanders and AOC for being too pro-Israel.
- She retweeted a post saying “Israel doesn’t exist”.
- She wrote that Black and Arab men “[fetishize] ugly colonizer women”.
This type of stuff is why I’ve argued that we need to bring back the word “retard”. “Moron” or “ninny” doesn’t capture the intensity of what we’re dealing with here — those words are a pea shooter when we need an elephant gun. And, just as I use the words “moron” and “idiot” in a non-literal way, my use of “retard” does not refer to anyone with a cognitive impairment, but only to people who could lead normal lives but choose to have cognition similar to that of an oyster or a termite-infested log.
That being said: Chevalier’s posts are deep retard stuff. This is a type of retard that we don’t normally encounter; physicists have previously only theorized that this level of retardation might exist somewhere in the universe. Beyond the event horizon of this level of retard, the laws of space-time are ripped apart, and each new particle of retard that crosses the event horizon destroys intelligence somewhere else in the universe. Chevalier is less of a politician and more of fascinating phenomenon of the physical world — kind of like the Higgs-Boson particle or Ötzi the Iceman — and every newspaper should be running Pearl Harbor-sized headlines that read “QUANTUM RETARD ACHIEVED!!!”
Chevalier says that she has “grown considerably” since those tweets. She also hilariously accused her opponent of “re-litigating social media posts from half a decade ago” — yeah, who can even remember as far back as half a decade!?!?!? Half a decade ago is the early 2020s, a mostly-forgotten, black-and-white era so antiquated that many of us had slightly different haircuts and our around-the-house jeans were still our out-on-the-town jeans. Five years ago, I was a Mormon communist who thought that the global economy was run by the Keebler Elves — just like everybody back then!!! It was the early ‘20s, baby! Chevalier wants us to believe that people change dramatically in five years, and would also like us to elect her to represent a D+32 district, which has an expected incumbency period of 70-90 years.
Go listen to the embedded video in which she recounts the “apartheid” she witnessed when visiting the West Bank and Israel. (I should add that people never explain what they mean by Israel’s apartheid, especially given that 20% of Israeli citizen are Arabs, and of course totally neglect the serious apartheid of Palestine and other Arab states. How many Jews live in Gaza–a land that used to be almost completely Jewish? What would happen to a Jew who wished to live in Gaza?)
But wait! There’s more! (And do look at her interview in New York magazine.)
It actually seems that Chevalier hasn’t changed her extreme views at all. The New York Editorial Board tried to get Chevalier to sanewash her position on prison abolition — they did the thing that Fox News does with Trump where they try to walk him towards sanity but he stubbornly refuses — but Chevalier couldn’t give a straight answer to questions as simple as “What happens to the murderer?” Chevalier has maintained that it is always wrong to deport anyone, even if they’ve committed a crime. And Chevalier failed to get the endorsement of a left-wing New York group (that endorsed Zohran Mamdani) because when they met with her, she “[refused] to condemn Hamas or anything about it.” (my emphasis!) Really…she didn’t have any criticisms of Hamas? Not even, like…the outfits? Just “five stars, no notes” across the board? Even Sgt. Pepper has a few ho-hum tracks — the fact that Chevalier couldn’t find anything to criticize about Hamas forces me to conclude that she’s either unbelievably ignorant or should be contained by some sort of Hannibal Lecter-type prison setup.
So, pick you adjective of choice — “half-wit”, “lunatic”, “certified, notarized nut job” — this person should obviously not have power. I think that anyone who votes for a candidate like Chevalier should have to wear a diaper and a frilly bonnet, and be made to skip around town holding a big lolly and singing “I went boom boom at the ballot box!” Because that is just how egregiously that person has shirked their responsibilities as an adult. I could only imaging voting for Chevalier in the unlikely event that her opponent was somehow worse, such as if she was running against Reanimated Hitler or a robot programmed to skin and eat every human it encounters.
Maurer gives Avila Chevalier his highest rating for lunacy: five Marjorie Greenes.
In another post on his site, Maurer concludes this:
But now for the bad news: These three — especially Chevalier — are a glorious gift to Republican flaks. What Michael Jordan was to Nike, Chevalier is to anyone whose job is to portray Democrats as radical, anti-America lunatics. And that is because she is a radical, anti-America lunatic; I hope normie Democrats loudly denounce her bullshit instead of trying to sanewash it [JAC: remember the sanctification of Kamala Harris?). I would also remind Democrats that considerations about party unity and maintaining a big tent don’t really apply when the core thesis of the person you’re dealing with is that you, personally, are a corrupt monster who is abetting genocide. In fact, you look like a dickless loser when Chevalier calls you a handmaiden of the Epstein class and you respond by saying “I’m more focused on opposing the failed presidency of Donald Trump.”
I also think that this makes the AOC presidential run that I’m dreading like a prostate exam during an earthquake more likely. For starters: Socialists are riding high, they’ll surely want to turn that (real or perceived) mojo into a presidential run. And it’s also probably true that Chevalier is such a freak show that AOC looks downright stateswoman-like in comparison. There is a (maybe true) story that the actress Marlene Dietrich wanted to appear in a scene with a camel because juxtaposing her with a camel would make her look beautiful. I think the same logic applies here; AOC seems sensible when compared to one of the most delusional weirdos our society has ever produced.
And one of the main downsides of an AOC presidential run also just got worse: Democrats will face pressure to take unpopular policy positions. It will be 2020 all over again; we’ll recreate the dynamic of that year’s primary, in which Pete Buttigeig was denounced as a neoliberal monster because he only wanted to create a public health care option (that would not have passed in a zillion parallel universes). The DSA will have a laundry list of terrible ideas, and they’ll push candidates to speak to those ideas, and some candidates will take the bait and make the Democratic brand so toxic that candidates would be better off running as part of the Anal Bleaching For Seniors Party.
Finally, there’s the rather banal belief that our country should not be governed by crazy people. I really am baffled by people who say “This is our Tea Party!” in a positive way!!! The Tea Party was bad! It’s a problem that our government contains so many delusional nincompoops! And that problem got a little worse yesterday. Time will tell just how bad this development turns out to be, but — in the immortal words of Pete Campbell — it’s not great, Bob!
Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Below is the candidate explaining all her old “bad tweets”. She deleted her entire Twitter account but doesn’t really apologize for her sentiments. Instead, she fabricates “regrets” about her past language, saying “I certainly wouldn’t use a lot of language that I used back then today. If you think she’s recanted the views that she expressed in that language, I have some land in Florida I’d like to sell you. In another radio interview, conducted in Spanish, she walked out in a huff when confronted with those old social media posts (there’s a video at the site).
Maurer has a good sense of humor and is willing to tell it like it is. You should read his website, as I’ll be doing as the midterms approach. (His X feed identifies says he “wrote for John Oliver back when his show was…different.”)




























































