Several readers called this piece to my attention, at last one of whom assumed it was an April Fool’s joke. But I’m pretty sure it’s not, if for no other reason than that it was posted on April 5.
The piece, by Lauren P. Taylor in the Washington Post is called “Don’t laugh: I have a serious reason for raising my cats gender-neutral.” Taylor is identified as “a self-defense instructor and anti-violence educator based in Washington, D.C. She is also a member of the editorial page staff.” The piece goes to show how far virtue signalling has invaded the media.
Taylor’s premise is this: she is not assigning genders to her two female (pardon me!) cats—not calling them “her” or “girls”—as a way of practicing avoiding the dreaded Gender Binary that plagues society. Instead, Taylor uses a term for each cat that some people use for themselves when they feel they’re both male and female, or are unsure: “they” or “them.” For example, if I used that pronoun, I’d describe myself this way: “Jerry is a superannuated professor; they worked for 30 years at the University of Chicago.”
Taylor:
Even though using they, them and their as singular pronouns grates on many people because it’s grammatically incorrect, it seems to be the most popular solution to the question of how to identify people without requiring them to conform to the gender binary of female and male. It also just feels right to refer to people as they wish to be referred to.
Around the house, with just me, Essence and Trouble – named for Rare Essence and Trouble Funk, for the DC music lovers reading this – things were pretty easy. I’d make a mistake (called “misgendering”), saying something like “Where’s your brother?” (Yes, I talk to my cats.) Usually, I’d remember to fix it (“Where’s your sibling?” or “Where’s your pal?”). Just as I’d hoped, I began finding it easier to remember to use gender-neutral language for the humans in my life.
Agreed. But this caused some problems with the moggies, especially at the vet’s (she punted, reverting to her “cis-gender privilege”!):
And I began to get an infinitesimal taste of what transgender and gender-nonconforming people face. I’m not talking about the outright bigotry and hatred –something I can’t know without being in their shoes — but the complete cluelessness. Friends would come over, I’d introduce the cats and their pronouns, and some would ask, “But what ARE they?” Some would randomly use “he” and “she.” Some would stumble, unable to form a sentence when talking about one of the cats.
Things got a little more real when Essence got sick. They were really sick. I took them to the vet and had to weigh the question: Do I explain their pronouns not only to the vet, but also the front-desk workers, the vet techs, and everyone else we interacted with? Before the illness was over, we saw five vets, two sets of front desk people, and countless vet techs. I chose to fall back on my cis-gender privilege (look it up) and used the singular pronoun for Essence. I understood that wouldn’t have been so easy if I were the patient — or if Essence were human.
While all of this was unfolding, friends would ask me: How is your cat? “They’re better” or “The same. The vets don’t know what’s wrong with them,” I’d say. “Wait a minute—are they both sick?” people would reply, confused.
Finally, she emphasizes her rationale:
It is confusing. We’ve had gender drilled into us as part of language since we first heard adults talking when we were infants – decades of “he” and “she.”
But at the same time it’s necessary. People are coming to understand that not all of us fit into the “girl” box or the “boy” box. Those who don’t are claiming space to be who they are. We all need to find ways to acknowledge and respect that. My way of respecting it just happens to be raising my cats gender neutral. You can choose your own.
While I agree that we should use whatever pronoun a person wishes to use for themselves, it is not the case that there is no gender binary among humans. In the vast majority of cases, someone’s biological sex aligns well with their “gender” (i.e., whether they identify as a male or a female). I believe they don’t align in about 3% of people: those who feel they’re of both sexes, who are transgender individuals, or even those who don’t feel human. So if you make a frequency diagram of those whose gender aligns with their sex, you’d get a plot with two huge peaks (“male and female”) and a lot of intermediate points for the others.
This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t respect and sympathize with the plight of those whose psychology doesn’t align with their genitalia or other secondary sexual characteristics. We should. But until these people become more numerous, I’ll avoid asking them “what’s your pronoun?” If they correct me, I’ll respect them, but there’s no need to get huffy about it.
But really—with cats? The most trenchant of the 249 comments under the article is this one:
I’m starting to realize the real value and psychological aptness of the term “virtue signalling”.
