My nephew awards his Oscar equivalents, the “Golden Steves”

April 24, 2021 • 12:00 pm

Every year my nephew Steven hands out his awards for achievements in the film industry, the “Golden Steves”.  He’s a movie critic and buff, so you should take his views pretty seriously.

And it’s that time of year. Click on the screenshot below to see this year’s “Golden Steve” nominees and winners.

Let nobody accuse my nephew of modesty, for here’s his introduction:

Far and away the most coveted of motion picture accolades, Golden Steves are frequently described as the Oscars without the politics. Impervious to bribery, immune to ballyhoo, unswayed by sentiment, and riddled with integrity, this committee of one might be termed in all accuracy “fair-mindedness incarnate.” Over 165 of the year’s most acclaimed features were screened prior to the compilation of this ballot. First, some caveats:

1) Owing to a lifelong suspicion of prime numbers, each category comprises six nominees, not five.

2) A film can be nominated in only one of the following categories: Best Animated Feature, Best Non-Fiction Film, Best Foreign Language Film. Placement is determined by the Board of Governors. Said film remains eligible in all other fields.

3) This list is in no way connected with the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences—a fact that should be apparent from its acumen. Please look elsewhere for Oscar analysis.

And his list of the Big Six winners. There are actually six additional categories not shown here but on Steven’s website (“Best Screenplay,” “Best Original Song,” etc), but these are the ones people pay attention to. Nominees are given and the winners are in bold. I’ve added a Wikipedia link to the winning film.

Best Picture

Bloody Nose, Empty Pockets
Collective
First Cow
I’m Thinking of Ending Things
Minari
Never Rarely Sometimes Always

Best Director

Lee Isaac Chung, Minari
Sean Durkin, The Nest
David Fincher, Mank
Eliza Hittman, Never Rarely Sometimes Always
Charlie Kaufman, I’m Thinking of Ending Things
Kelly Reichardt, First Cow

Best Actor

Riz Ahmed, Sound of Metal
Chadwick Boseman, Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom
Willem Dafoe, Tommaso
Anthony Hopkins, The Father
Delroy Lindo, Da 5 Bloods
Gary Oldman, Mank

Best Actress

Jessie Buckley, I’m Thinking of Ending Things
Carrie Coon, The Nest
Sidney Flanigan, Never Rarely Sometimes Always
Frances McDormand, Nomadland
Carey Mulligan, Promising Young Woman
Aubrey Plaza, Black Bear

Best Supporting Actor

Brian Dennehy, Driveways
Daniel Kaluuya, Judas and the Black Messiah
Orion Lee, First Cow
Leslie Odom Jr., One Night in Miami…
Paul Raci, Sound of Metal
Glynn Turman, Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom

Best Supporting Actress

Charin Alvarez, Saint Frances
Gina Rodriguez, Kajillionaire
Talia Ryder, Never Rarely Sometimes Always
Amanda Seyfried, Mank
Youn Yuh-jung, Minari
Helena Zengel, News of the World

I have to say that for the first time in memory, I haven’t seen any of the movies nominated, though I did see “Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom” and found it okay but not a classic.  I will surely see “Minari” and “Never Really Sometimes Always” now.

And if you’ve seen the movies, and have your own views on who or what should be the winner, weigh in below.

20 thoughts on “My nephew awards his Oscar equivalents, the “Golden Steves”

  1. I rarely watch films anymore – seems difficult to find the time to sit still for that long. I did, however, rent Promising Young Woman from Amazon. I watched some, and then it got late. The next night I watched some more, but then it got late. The next night, I discovered that you only have 48 hours from starting to finish your film, so I shall not see the ending. Alas.

    That said, I really want to see First Cow.

  2. A lot of folks seemed to be impressed by “Nomadland” – predicting it would cleanup in the major categories.

  3. I have not seen most of these, but that is as always since my tastes run more to movies with Big Explosions.
    The link includes Best Original Song, and in it is the light-hearted comedy movie about Eurovision, with Will Farrell. But the movie was actually rather good, and the song also quite good. So, ok! 👍

    1. I watched that movie last night. It was enjoyable. There is an article in the April 19 issue of the New Yorker about the movie and the song, which has brought attention to the Iceland town of Husavik. I would love to see it win an award.

  4. Interesting picks. Nice to see Steve givin’ props to Charlie Kaufman’s I’m Thinking of Ending Things, with nominations for best pic, best director, and a best-actress win for Jessie Buckley (the wonderful Irish actress who played the Glaswegian country & western singer in 2019’s Wild Rose).

    1. I’ve not seen I’m Thinking of Ending Things, but Kaufman makes quirky and interesting films – even Nic Cage couldn’t ruin Adaptation, despite having two roles in it!

  5. What, no Marvel? I kid. I haven’t seen any of the movies listed…alas, I’ve never even heard of them. I blame covid. I mostly watch britbox shows nowadays. Watching Lewis at the moment; very engrossing, but impossible to predict the plots (which is one of the reasons I like it).

  6. I used to be a cinephile, then I married a man who likes Adam Sandler movies. Yes, it was almost a deal breaker.

    1. Sandler was great — if very un-Sandler-like — in the Safdie brothers’ Uncut Gems. When first I saw the trailer, I thought for a second it might be John Turturro up there on the screen.

      1. I’ll second that. I used to hate Adam Sandler, but I have to admit he was superb in Uncut Gems. He plays the sort of hustler who can’t help screwing up his life in every way and making endless bad decisions. The movie is also terrific, albeit anxiety-inducing at times! The Safdie brothers’ previous film, Good Time, is also worth watching and features another amoral screw-up of an antihero.

          1. Nope, that was Ben Stiller.You can probably tell the approximate ages of my kids from the fact that I know that!

            1. Thanks, Jez. I always confuse those two actors. I loved Madagascar, despite my kids being in their 30s now.

              1. One of my many bizarre “claims to fame” – none of them on my own behalf, but all via proximity – is that I occasionally met one of the producers and creators of The 11 O’Clock Show when we were both students. The show went on to launch the careers of Sacha Baron Cohen, Ricky Gervais, and many others. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_11_O%27Clock_Show

                Dom English ran quiz and comedy nights in a local pub with Royston Robertson – the latter is now a cartoonist who often appears in Private Eye and is currently married to my girlfriend from back then. One of the comedy routines was by a sixteen-year-old Ross Noble, so they clearly had a good eye for spotting talent early!

                Now, if I’d gone to university at Oxbridge none of this would be surprising, of course, but we shared a very much less prestigious alma mater! Indeed, many years later it was reported in the news that an asylum seeker had been stabbed to death in the (very short) street where Royston used to share a student house with some of my other friends.

              2. I thought that Sacha Baron Cohen was terrific in The Trial of the Chicago Seven, but found much of his Borat movie too cringe-worthy (although his ice-cream truck “pussy magnet” was pretty funny.)

  7. I prefer seeing new movies in the theater…which means I barely saw any new movies in 2020. I was about to see “First Cow” when lockdown struck.

    I watched “I’m Thinking of Ending Things” via streaming because my brother wanted to see it. It’s directed and scripted by Charlie Kaufman, the nut who wrote “Being John Malkovich,” but isn’t as fun; it’s a bit self-indulgent, and by the time you figure out what’s going on you wonder if it was worth the effort. Nevertheless, those who like surreal head-twisters should enjoy it, and there are several terrific scenes, including the protagonist having dinner with her boyfriend’s parents. Ultimately recommended.

    I haven’t seen “Never Rarely Sometimes Always,” but I did see Eliza Hittman’s previous film, “Beach Rats,” and it showed her to be a director of rare intelligence and sensitivity.

  8. I do not see streamed films & rarely went to the cinema before largely because I do not go on my own. 😕
    So not seen any of these! I still buy Digital Versatile Discs!

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