Grania died

June 17, 2019 • 11:00 am

This is very hard to write, and is written through tears. Grania Spingies, a very good friend—though I never met her in person—and someone who, as you probably know, did an enormous amount for this website, passed away yesterday in Cork, Ireland. She was only 49, and would have turned 50 on the 23rd of June.

She leaves behind a mother and two sisters, Gisela and Gunda. Grania’s father was murdered by a burglar in South Africa 18 months ago. Her mother is bedridden and doesn’t recognize anyone, so perhaps it’s a mercy that she doesn’t know her daughter died.

Those who follow this site will know Grania’s involvement with it: she was always there to cover for me when I was on trips, to advise me when I had a website issue or wanted to know if I should write about this or that, and to discuss ideas for posts with me (she gave me plenty of them). She also wrote many of her own posts over the years, keeping us up to date on issues like abortion in Ireland and blasphemy laws.

But more than that: we Skyped nearly every day and exchanged a gazillion emails. She had a pretty solitary existence in Cork, but I made sure we kept in touch. She was a great pleasure to talk to— always rational and sensible, but with a fantastic dry wit. As I said, I never met her, though we were in constant touch for at least eight years. She often spoke of wanting to visit America, and I tempted her with all the great food she could try here that wasn’t available in Ireland, like good Southern barbecue.

On Wednesday she became ill with what seemed to be a stomach ailment. Over the next few days it didn’t go away, and I suggested that she see a doctor. She didn’t like doctors, and simply bought pain medication at the pharmacy. Her illness persisted, and by Friday I began harassing her heavily to get medical attention. On Saturday she still wasn’t better, and I made her promise to go to the doctor—an emergency clinic in Cork—by Sunday at the latest.

Here was our last email exchange from yesterday:

On Sun 16 Jun 2019, 12:32 Jerry Coyne wrote:

Are you going to the doctor today AS YOU PROMISED????

Her response:

Yes. Im on my way.

That was her last email; she never made it to the doctor. According to one of her friends, “As far as we can tell, she collapsed just outside the doctor’s office some time on Sunday and had no pulse. They did CPR and rushed her by ambulance to the hospital.” They will do an autopsy to see what killed her.

It’s 5 a.m. in Hawaii, and my brain isn’t clear enough to write more, but let me post some pictures of Grania sent to me by Gisela.

Grania was born and raised in South Africa. She went to the University of Cape Town and then spent several years teaching small children in a remote area of KwaZulu. About twenty years ago, she decided to leave South Africa and take a job with Schlumberger in Ireland, where she did financial accounting. She was a feminist, a secularist, an atheist, and formerly an active member of Atheist Ireland. She loved animals, and often spoke of her cats Trinket and Pippen and her beloved dog Frodo.

A photo of her in Africa:

Grania just before she moved to Ireland in 1999.

As an atheist, Grainia would simply laugh if she heard me say, “Rest in peace, dear friend”. So all I’ll say is that she brought a lot of light into my life, and into this site—often in ways you don’t know about. I will miss her terribly, as will her family and friends, and my heart goes out to those who were privileged to know her.

This is the way I’ll remember her: with that slight smile I’d see on Skype when she pondered the craziness of the world.


354 thoughts on “Grania died”

  1. I’m so sorry. This is such terrible news. Sending love and purrs to all who are mourning her loss.

  5. Awful news, nothing I can really say but as many have said it is as though we knew her. She will certainly be a memory we will always cherish.

  6. I apologize if this is too much :

    For this scenario – death at such a young age – other emotions surface, like anger – and a demand for an explanation (in the grand sense, not in the literal personal business sense) that will really never come, if it would help at all. And a sense of injustice- this is not right. Yet, there is nothing anyone can do. I do not speak from personal experience but this is my attempt to show I am taking it seriously, that I might learn from it.

    1. All day I have wanted to scream at the universe “This is not fair!”, as if the universe gives a hoot what I think. But it it is not fair.

      1. I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground.
        So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind:
        Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely. Crowned
        With lilies and with laurel they go; but I am not resigned.

        Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you.
        Be one with the dull, the indiscriminate dust.
        A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew,
        A formula, a phrase remains,—but the best is lost.

        The answers quick and keen, the honest look, the laughter, the love,—
        They are gone. They are gone to feed the roses. Elegant and curled
        Is the blossom. Fragrant is the blossom. I know. But I do not approve.
        More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the world.

        Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave
        Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;
        Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.
        I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned.

        1. Great poem – Looks like the author and poem is:

          Edna St. Vincent Millay, “Dirge Without Music” from Collected Poems © 1928, 1955 by Edna St. Vincent Millay and Norma Millay Ellis

          1. Also from Millay,

            “My candle burns at both ends; it will not last the night; but ah, my foes, and oh, my friends — it gives a lovely light!”

    2. I add another thought : the feeling that surely, there was something I could have done – some way, something simple someone could have done, to avoid this… a helplessness….

  7. My condolences to Jerry and all who knew her. I lost a close friend to similar circumstances in February. In his case, it was also stomach pain, and he also did not see a doctor until it was too late. Let this be a reminder to make your health a priority.

  8. My condolences to all Grania’s friends and family. What a great loss at such a young age. She will be sadly missed.

  10. I’m very sorry to hear this bad news. I’ve been reading this site for a few years now and read many of Grania’s posts, including the Hili dialogues during Dr. Coyne’s travels and her thoughtful posts and comments on many issues. My condolences to Dr. Coyne and Grania’s friends and family.

  12. I’m really sorry. Have been reading her here for so long…no,for so little time. I’ll miss her. Peace.

  16. I’m so shocked by this, as I was by Cyrus’s death, though this was totally unexpected. I always looked forward to Grania’s posts when you were traveling, as well as her other contributions. My sympathies to you, Jerry, most especially, but also to all who knew her.

  18. Oh Grania, we’ve so appreciated your powers of reason and concise writing and sharp intellect. I wish you could hear our appreciation but perhaps your family and Jerry will in your stead.

    Say hi to Hitch for us. He also “left our party” prematurely and we sorely miss him too. I’m sure Grania and Hitch have much to discuss about the only conversation worth having. I know, I know…it’s a childish notion and one that I don’t believe myself but there is something poetic and ennobling about it that makes me smile. I sincerely hope it does to you all as well after this tragic and sudden news.

  19. What a profound loss for you, Jerry. A loss for all of us who love your blog. Arms around you.

    1. I was so saddened to read of Grania‘s death. She wrote such interesting posts and I learned a lot. My condolences to you and Grania‘s family and friends. Such a brilliant light should always be remembered.

  22. Hi Jerry So shocked and sad to hear this news. Grania will be sorely missed and my sympathies to her family and all her friends.

  23. Shocking and devastating! I feel for you and all who knew and loved her and knew of her. My day today is a bit more precious to me because you shared this news. None of us know how many days we have left. It’s very sobering for a shocking loss like this to strike so suddenly. 🙁 (((hugs)))

  25. Shocked. Was kind of expecting a post by her tomorrow because Jerry has gone on a vacation. She is much too young to die which makes it even sadder. Will miss her contributions to WEIT. My condolences to her good friend Jerry and her family.

  26. It is really sad to hear that she has died so young. I loved her posts. Her take on the Hili dialogue and other posts were always an interesting change. And from a fellow gamer,

    F

    -Ryan

    1. Hey, I got that! That’s cool, I didn’t know anyone had taken that meme and ran with it in that way. Clever and sweet.

  28. “The way we are living, timorous or bold, will have been our life.” ― Seamus Heaney

    My deepest condolences. Grania embraced all that was bold.

  29. My deepest sympathies for the loss of your friend. So young. So incredibly sad.

  31. All of us will miss her. Let’s not do the RIP bit; rather let’s celebrate the arc over which she soared.

  32. HERE IS A FINE TRIBUTE to Grania from Michael Nugent of Atheist, Ireland that covers her face-to-face active years in ‘the movement’.

    To Grania’s folks [the three Gs are now two I guess]: She was no bullshit, scrupulously intellectually honest & very funny in a smart, witty way. She concentrated on the important stuff [burkinis, Irish laundry women’s slavery, gaming & dogs] & ignored the Bollix. That should go on her stone if she’s having one. we are all better for knowing her!

      1. Hey Rick. I liked your Canada Geese video! And no music – just nature.

        More please 🙂

  38. Truly horribly sad news. My deepest condolences to her family, Jerry and other loved ones.

  39. I only knew Grania through reading her contributions here. These were always a joy to read, sensible and engagingly written, she must have been a lovely person.

    Her death is a sad loss for all of us that read this site. It is a much greater loss to her friends and family, my sympathy to them.

  41. She was too young to leave us. I’ve always enjoyed her posts. It’s a sad day for WEIT readers, Jerry, and especially her family and friends. May her intellectual impact on readers here live on.

  42. How sad–and a shock. My thoughts and condolences to you, Jerry, and to Grania’s family.

  43. I am really sad to hear this. She always made such great contributions to this website.

  44. Goddammit! Why are the good people dying?

    I expected a Hili dialogue from Grania today, and was utterly shocked when I saw that she had died. She was so young! It’s not fair!

    Grania, we will all miss you greatly. You brought so much joy and sense into our lives. Even though we never met or corresponded, I feel as though you were my friend.

    My sincere condolences to all Grania’s loved ones.

  46. A wise person once told me that grief is, in a way, something to be appreciated, for to feel it means that we have loved and loved well. To grieve is to celebrate the one you miss and all she meant to you. This post and its comments read like a long, loud song in praise of Grania, and I’ll add my voice to say thanks for making me think, wonder, and smile while you were here.

  47. Some people leave a lovely & clear imprint in the soil on which they’ve trodden.
    WEIT readers will know that Grania has certainly done that.
    Sincere condolences to all of Grania’s family, to you, Professor Coyne on the loss of a dear friend and, indeed, to the whole WEIT community who mourn. She will certainly be missed.

  49. Such a dreadful shock and profound loss! My heartfelt sympathies to her family, friends, colleagues, and of course you, Jerry.

  51. What awful news. I saw Michael Nugent’s post about this a few minutes ago and hoped in vain that I was dreaming.
    I had been in contact with Grania a few times over the years. She had a great sense of humor and was always helpful when asked anything.
    She had such an insightful knowledge of the Irish political and social situation I never realized she was not originally from that part of the world.
    She was also a really good writer – I loved reading her posts here.
    Condolences to Jerry, her family and all who knew her.

  52. Terrible news. My condolences to everyone who knew and loved her.

    Life is very fragile.

  53. I was shocked and deeply grieved to learn you have lost such a good friend. I’ve read and admired Grania’s contributions to the website. The world is a darker place without her.

  54. So sad and tragic to die so young. My condolences to Jerry and to Grania’s family.

  58. I am in tears on hearing this.

    As a fellow gamer, I appreciated the occasional video game allusions in her remarks. (Among her many many contributions.)

    She will be sorely missed.

  59. My deepest condolences to her family, you and the rest of the WEIT community. She will be missed.

  60. Jerry. It may be from your description that Grania may have had an “aortic catastrophe” (a dissection or a rupture) which could account for severe stomach or abdominal pain.
    I had a dissection myself five years ago and was fortunate to survive. It can manifest itself as you describe and also prove lethal in five minutes.
    It does not console much to speculate, but I find that understanding what has happened can be helpful.
    I hope I made Grania laugh once or twice over the years.
    All the best.

    1. I’ve seen photos of Grania with a cigarette. If she still smoked, I wonder if she could have had a ruptured abdominal aortic aneurysm, the likelihood of which is increased by smoking, and people often die before they get to the doctor.

      1. A relative of mine died of a ruptured aortic aneurysm. He went the same way as has been described for Grania—abdominal pain for several days then dropped in his tracks. Instantaneous. It is a small solace, but our dear Grania would have felt nothing—just passed out.

  63. So shocked and saddened by this terrible news. Condolences to Grania’s family and to Jerry. She will be missed by all the WEIT community.

  68. After a couple of days offline, I was deeply shocked to log in and read the headline. Thank you, Jerry, for your very touching tribute to Grania. The sheer number of comments says a great deal about much she meant to so many people.
    Many of those comments are beautifully expressed. I haven’t read them all, but I did check to see if there was one from Sastra (whose comments I have valued in the past). There was, and as others have already said, she was spot on. There’s nothing more I can say, but I would just like to add my condolences.

  70. Damn. Her posts were always so interesting. She will be sorely missed. My thoughts (but not prayers) are with you.

    Michael.

  74. Sorry to hear this news. Condolences to you and to her other friends and family. We will all miss her here.

  78. Stunned! I had to refresh my browser to see the entire post – I wsa only getting bits of it. I guess my browser was in shock, too.

    Deepest condolences to all who were part of her life.

    Guessing either ruptured appendix of gall bladder, combined with sepsis. If it indeed turns out to be gall bladder, she joins my predecessor whose restoration effort I’m continuing. Yet he was the head of the county health department, described by many as an “excellent disgnostician”. We later learned that he knew that his gall bladder was bad. It’s a long and tearful story why he waived off having his gall bladder out, but when he finally got to the ER, he told the MD’s there, “I waited too long.” By then, the gall bladder had become necrotic and had ruptured.

  80. What grievously sad news. Grania was always so reliably present, intelligent and humane.

    Condolences, Jerry.

  81. To everyone who knew her, I’m sorry for your loss. I didn’t know her but, in a way, feel like I did and feel the loss. I read her posts on Why Evolution is True, one of my first reads each morning. I will miss her.

  83. Too bad, Jerry, that you never met Grania. But she was a perfect substitute, so whenever you were away or for other reasons not able to post as much as you wanted, I didn’t worry.
    Hopefully you will overcome the loss. Greetings.-

  84. Such horrible news!

    I’m struck by what Grania’s sisters have been through – three cruel losses in such a short time. If you’re reading this, Gisela and Gunda, my deepest sympathies. It’s just not fair.

    Dr. Coyne, I’m sorry for your loss. Thank you for describing your friendship with Grania. I always wondered about what was evidently a special relationship. Thanks too for posting pictures of her. I can finally put a face to her words.

    I know that things will be more difficult here at WEIT with Grania’s loss, but please don’t hesitate to ask if there’s something you need. Among your thousands of subscribers (and who knows how many others like me who follow you by RSS and other means), I’m sure we can fill Grania’s shoes. It would be an honour to do so in her memory.

    βPer
    Ottawa, ON, Canada

  86. My sincere condolences, Jerry.

    That was an illustrative tribute after seeing so much of her writing with so little else to identify the author. It sounds like a worthy collaboration, and at least as pronounced a friendship.

  87. I wrote directly to Grania’s friend Kathryn, who let Jerry know about Grania’s death. I wasn’t going to write here too, but I’ve changed my mind because I want everyone who knew Grania to know just how many of us there are who thought she was special.

    My favourite memory of Grania is all the Lord of the Rings, Dr Who, and Star Trek (etc.) allusions she managed to get into her Hili Dialogue posts. Also, there were the occasions when she sent Jerry a tweet with an hilarious allusion to one of those shows/movies. He didn’t get the allusions, of course, but when she told him to, “trust me, everyone else will,” she was right, as Jerry discovered when he took her word for it. The world of WEIT will be so much less without her.

    Those of us who are lucky enough to be good friends with Jerry also know just what a wonderful friend she has been to him over the years. They were there for each other, albeit at a distance. Having the capacity to be such a good friend over an extended period, no matter what, speaks to what a wonderful person Grania was.

    I will miss Grania more than she would have thought if she knew we were going to lose her.

    1. That’s lovely. I’d often get my interest tweaked by some nerdy reference that felt out of character for Jerry and I’d check the top of the post and see it was Grania who was writing. I regret not asking her about those shared interests a bit more. People are always there, until they’re never there.

      With deaths like this it feels like there should be a transitional period where you’re told that they’re going to die and you get to love them as fiercely as you can before it happens; but no, there’s no warning, it’s just sprung on you.
      I suppose that that ‘transitional period’ is really what life is: we do actually know that people are going to die, and we do have an opportunity to love them as fiercely as we can before it happens. It’s just we tend to forget to do so until it’s too late.

      2. Your words, especially the last paragraph, are good advice for how to live life.

  88. Sorry for your loss, Jerry. A true loss to us all. Be strong. Our world is capable of some wonderful creations and some big disappointments.

  89. So sorry to hear this news. She will be greatly missed by many. Her presence on this site was always enjoyable. You have my deepest condolences.

  90. So sorry to hear the very sad news of Grania, I was
    quite shocked. She popped in to visit on many occasions and I loved her company, there was always laughter involved. I am thinking of you and Gunda, sending love and hugs. Cathy Hopkins

  91. Words failed me earlier… in many respects they still do. I have so far this year attended two funerals of friends younger than me (one nearly 10 years) and I regard Grania’s early death as a personal insult by an uncaring universe. If she graced the world like she graced this website then she certainly deserved more time than I seem to have. Farewell Grania.

  92. Thank you for the lovely tribute to Grania. Of course I did not know her, but your description of her attributes assure me that I would have loved her. It is sad that her life ended at such an early age.

  93. Recalling a book I read some yrs back,
    I hope they have her apartment sealed off, and I hope that arsenic is among the things they test for in the toxicology screen.

  94. You forget that I’m part of a group that has a patent (pending) on rapid identification of bacterial species in sepsis patients, so I’m already primed on certain infectious diseases. There’s that part. The book is a simple coincidence – I noticed it and read it because the au is a namesake (no relation). Her book on the cholera epidemic in London in the mid-1800s is better.

    But a seemingly healthy young woman doesn’t just suddenly die for thus far no apparent reason, so I keep thinking. Nobody has yet mentioned the possibility of poisoning, and since arsenic isn’t exactly on the front line of possible scenarios, yet the general symptoms seem to match, I offer them up. If there is reason to suspect foul play, but nobody in Cork has yet suspected it, and the apartment hasn’t been sealed off, any evidence may well have disappeared.

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