by Grania

It’s time to take a look at some of the weirder searches that brought people to this website. As always, we can expect some of humanity’s baser proclivities to shine. In fact, it seems to have taken a distinctly scatological turn this month.

• theories that disprove evolution – none, zip, nada. There are hypotheses that could disprove evolution if there was any evidence for them, but so far they have turned up empty.
• penis – in endless and varied iterations, as always, including jerry seinfeld penis size. That’s rather personal and probably none of your business. Here, go read some science.
• prager university full of shit – I hope not, sounds like a serious plumbing issue to me.
• man has sex with parrot – not likely, but you can’t put anything past humans. Poor parrot. Unless you mean parrot has sex with man, which has happened. It was also painful, don’t try this at home kids.
• screaming tennis players,why do they let maria sharapova scream in her tennis match?  – ah, it was Wimbledon season again, wasn’t it? Yes, they are damned annoying. Just imagine the squawks and grunts and howls to be the result of really bad hemorrhoids and you will find the whole experience a lot more entertaining.
• is the supernatural scientifically possible? No, because then it would be natural, not supernatural by definition.
• is she male produce naturally? – I’m not sure exactly what you’re looking for but you might try this link.
• my boyfriend says he cums in my mouth but i don’t taste or feel anything. is this possible? – Seriously TMI. It’s not impossible but he should probably see a GP about it.

Okay, and now I am going to go and put my brain into bleach for a bit. Never change, humanity.

by Grania Spingies

Every once in a while I peek at the Search Terms that have landed people on this site. Here are some of the more entertaining ones that turned up in the last 30 days.

Penis – I’m mildly surprised that this turned up in only 15 distinct varieties in the last month, from penis snake to duck penis to penis size to just plain penis, and that’s not counting the person who was researching a more delicately stated “manhood” and the one who spelled it “penus”. Nice going, humanity. Never change.

True facts about Jesus – I’m guessing this reader left disappointed. Although it is the subject of many books and arguments by theologians, scholars and True Believers; none of them seem to be able to agree on anything at all, not even a simple full name and address. There are a lot of good debates and opinions to read on this site though.

Is masturbation a sin in Catholicism – yes, it is. It’s a sin against chastity, and the Catholic Catechism lists it alongside such things as rape. This should be sufficient to teach you that the Catholic Church is not a good go-to place for questions about morality.

Megalodon shark found – nope. It was a hoax. Discovery Channel does not like to let things like the truth get in the way of a good story.

Adam and Eve truth year born – Heh. Another person who probably left disappointed. There are a lot of interesting articles on the subject of Adam & Eve on this website though, that examine it from a biological and theological perspective.

Is religion bad – Yes. It’s different kinds of bad to different people, of course. To those people who are in jail or awaiting execution or are seeing their country get destroyed by war because of it in the year of 2015 it’s the very worst kind of bad there is. Then there are all sorts of other levels of bad from denying people the medical treatment they need to stifling open debate to oppressing people for their gender or sexuality to the relatively mild wasting of countless hours in the vain search for something that doesn’t exist. Like Bigfoot, only a whole lot less fun.

Heaven – make your own. As Death once said: “CATS ARE NICE“. Dogs are nice too.

Real devil – Well, the Tasmanian Devil was real. Might still be, although it seems unlikely. Other than that, I got nothing.

can i eat pepper seeds 30 nos per day – If you want to. I wouldn’t.

female masturbation – Really? Unlike God and the devil, it is real though. This is probably a really disheartening and stubbornly uninstructive site though, if that’s what you’re looking for.

a picture of a dog going to heaven – I can do better than that. We have pictures of dogs in heaven. Here’s one of Cyrus and some of Deets.

satanic coloring page – I actually don’t know what to say. Y’all know that atheists think Satanism is just Christianity from the reverse angle, right?

creation museum discount tickets – This is not the site you are looking for.

famous trumpeter with puffy cheeks – I’m guessing you’re looking for Satchmo.

I think that is as good a place to leave it, for now.

 

[UPDATE]

The Collective has conferred and agreed that famous trumpeter with puffy cheeks refers to Dizzy Gillespie.

by Grania

This just in on Tw*tter:

New Zealand done. One kid in Wellington woke up, saw me and asked if I was Gandalf. Fuck sake.

— Depressed Santa (@DepressedSanta) December 24, 2014

As the festivities get underway in earnest, I wish all the readers and contributors to this website a peaceful and joyful time. May there be good food and good company, and WEIT will of course also be here in the morning.