All roads lead to WEIT

June 10, 2015 • 1:30 pm

by Grania Spingies

Every once in a while I peek at the Search Terms that have landed people on this site. Here are some of the more entertaining ones that turned up in the last 30 days.

Penis – I’m mildly surprised that this turned up in only 15 distinct varieties in the last month, from penis snake to duck penis to penis size to just plain penis, and that’s not counting the person who was researching a more delicately stated “manhood” and the one who spelled it “penus”. Nice going, humanity. Never change.

True facts about Jesus – I’m guessing this reader left disappointed. Although it is the subject of many books and arguments by theologians, scholars and True Believers; none of them seem to be able to agree on anything at all, not even a simple full name and address. There are a lot of good debates and opinions to read on this site though.

Is masturbation a sin in Catholicism – yes, it is. It’s a sin against chastity, and the Catholic Catechism lists it alongside such things as rape. This should be sufficient to teach you that the Catholic Church is not a good go-to place for questions about morality.

Megalodon shark found – nope. It was a hoax. Discovery Channel does not like to let things like the truth get in the way of a good story.

Adam and Eve truth year born – Heh. Another person who probably left disappointed. There are a lot of interesting articles on the subject of Adam & Eve on this website though, that examine it from a biological and theological perspective.

Is religion bad – Yes. It’s different kinds of bad to different people, of course. To those people who are in jail or awaiting execution or are seeing their country get destroyed by war because of it in the year of 2015 it’s the very worst kind of bad there is. Then there are all sorts of other levels of bad from denying people the medical treatment they need to stifling open debate to oppressing people for their gender or sexuality to the relatively mild wasting of countless hours in the vain search for something that doesn’t exist. Like Bigfoot, only a whole lot less fun.

Heaven – make your own. As Death once said: “CATS ARE NICE“. Dogs are nice too.

Real devil – Well, the Tasmanian Devil was real. Might still be, although it seems unlikely. Other than that, I got nothing.

can i eat pepper seeds 30 nos per day – If you want to. I wouldn’t.

female masturbation – Really? Unlike God and the devil, it is real though. This is probably a really disheartening and stubbornly uninstructive site though, if that’s what you’re looking for.

a picture of a dog going to heaven – I can do better than that. We have pictures of dogs in heaven. Here’s one of Cyrus and some of Deets.

satanic coloring page – I actually don’t know what to say. Y’all know that atheists think Satanism is just Christianity from the reverse angle, right?

creation museum discount tickets – This is not the site you are looking for.

mindtrick

famous trumpeter with puffy cheeks – I’m guessing you’re looking for Satchmo.

I think that is as good a place to leave it, for now.

 

[UPDATE]

The Collective has conferred and agreed that famous trumpeter with puffy cheeks refers to Dizzy Gillespie.

70 thoughts on “All roads lead to WEIT”

          3. Trying to dampen its negative effects. Those groups create a level of hate that’s dangerous. We have to challenge them on their territory.
            That’s an actual real-life church group led by a pastor’s wife. Imagine what’s it’s like for an lgbt child who’s one of their children… I want to make sure they get presented with another perspective rather than only the usual propaganda.

      2. Beautiful player. Musical d*gfather to Clifford Brown.

        Some more comments on bits of your article.

        The penis mightier than the sword.

        Every Little Sperm is Sacred.

  5. I reviewed a book titled Sex on Earth a while back on my website. It’s a decent read about sex in the animal kingdom. I cringe when I look at search terms and see just how many people find my site looking for things like ‘sex with animals’ or ‘sex with my dog’.

    1. Well, to keep the click bait coming you should review more books about sex. Plant sex. Bacteria sex. And don’t forget to post a discussion about a paper on penis sizes in the animal kingdom.

    1. Definitely Dizzy. Not only is Dizzy famous as a trumpeter, but his cheeks are famously puffy.

  8. These are great – thanks Grania. 🙂

    I get some weird ones too, though nothing like this, or Dennis’s. Will I know my site has, ahem, arrived, when a “penis” search finds it?

    The searh term I’m still most proud of that was used to find my site is “reza aslan apologist bullshit”.

      1. He sure was! Your post prompted me to have a look at my search terms again, which I haven’t done for ages. Another weird one I found is: “reza came begging for food and now he is blood thirsty dog like other muslims in the world”.

        I discovered too I’ve got one “sex” one: “aslan sex tube”. Not sure what that means.

          2. I wonder if tube refers to TV, or at least that’s how the search engine read it? The FGM post I did last year still gets several hits every day, and it includes Aslan’s pronouncements on TV that FGM is a central African problem, not a Muslim problem.

        2. Or it’s a CS Lewis fan who’s into bestiality. Disgusting. Bestiality’s pretty bad too.

  11. The trumpet player with puffy cheeks is most likely Dizzy Gillespie. He should be nominated for musical sainthood.

  12. It seems that at least a couple of people came (no pun intended) here looking for something on masturbation. There might be some money to be made in starting a site called, “Why Ejaculation Is True”.

    2. Come admit folks, who googled “masturbation”, found this site and decided to stay? 😉

  13. Re “not even a full name” re Jesus.

    Technically, only royal families maintained family names rigorously in ancient times, and other folks were mostly named by their first name and the town they came from. DaVinci was not Leonardo’s family name, but simply designated “from Vinci (the town)”. Thomas Aquinas was so called because of being from the town of Aquino.

    So I don’t think there is a full name of Jesus waiting to be discovered.

    However, even the most widespread tropes about Jesus have no universal consensus (notably the widespread opinion that he was a mistaken apocalyptist, first proposed by Albert Schweitzer due to its illuminating several previous cryptic elements of some of the Gospels.)

    Remarkably, there are very very few books on Jesus that try to survey all the diverse opinions and the various contenders’ reasons for holding them. The only major one I can think of “The Elusive Messiah” by Raymond Martin ultimately comes to Grania’s conclusion above- we really can’t be sure of anything.

  15. As Death once said: “CATS ARE NICE“. Dogs are nice too.

    CMOT Dibblah was much more even-handed on the subject of pets in general – they’re all good for relieving stress. And in times of famine too, of course.

  16. Penis – I’m mildly surprised that this turned up in only 15 distinct varieties in the last month, from penis snake to duck penis to penis size to just plain penis

    Hmmm, I feel the need to talk about priapulid worms. spikey, knobbly, serrated little penises covered in hairs and spines. That should boost the inadvertent hit rate.

  17. ah, religion at its finest: a rousing pulpit sermon preaching “the perfect hatred”. (via daily kos)

    a taste:

    “Listen to me, I hate him with a perfect hatred. I have no love for this Bruce freak. I hope he dies today, I hope he dies and goes to Hell. He’s disgusting, he’s filthy, he’s reprobate.

    You evil, filthy animal that’s destroying the morals of our country, die. ‘Oh, you’re hateful.’ No, I’m loving. I love my children. I love my country. I love the brotherhood. And I hate these filthy sons of Belial. They’re disgusting and sick. ‘Oh pray for him. We need to love him and pray for him to find Jesus.’ That guy will never find Jesus. The Bible says he’s reprobate, the Bible explains why people would lust after another man when you’re a man. Because they’re reprobate. They’ve been darkened.”

    1. For some reason the first thing that popped into my head when I read that was a snippet from a bawdy song:

      There was a priest, a dirty beast,
      A reprobate to say the least…

      After a little reflection it seems too true to be all that funny.

    1. Yes, I suspect Grania is thinking of the Thylacine or Tasmanian tiger. Ms Spingies also used the word d*g without using the *, so i guess she won’t be allowed to post anymore. 🙂

    2. No, not viral (except in the same sense that some YT videos spread rapidly by contact).

      1. Oh yes, I did know that, but I was using my memory, never a reliable organ. It’s a directly contagious cancer. Horrible. Thanks!

  20. They may have searched for those things, but must have seen something on this site’s Google snippet that piqued their interest. Maybe they learned something!

  21. I’m really interested in that satanic colouring page. I wonder if there is a satanic colouring book.

      1. Oh yes, I do recall that now. I love that they call one of the characters, “Damian”.

  23. For anyone who’s naive enough to think Dizzy Gillespie is the referent of said search terms I recommend you type ‘The Fast Show Jazz Club Piles Husain’ into YouTube and get enlightened. Nicccee.

  24. Often, I’ll find an article I was looking for by recalling something unique about it. So perhaps the person searching for “True facts about Jesus” didn’t leave disappointed, at all, but rather happy that he found the article he was looking for. 🙂

  26. “Is masturbation a sin in Catholicism – yes, it is. It’s a sin against chastity, and the Catholic Catechism lists it alongside such things as rape. This should be sufficient to teach you that the Catholic Church is not a good go-to place for questions about morality.”

    Okay, I don’t agree with the CC’s teaching on masturbation or the underlying sexual ethic, but this isn’t fair, and it’s a point you’ve repeated in another comment elsewhere (“Once more with feeling…”). Except in that comment you were trying to make it seem as though the CC were diminishing rape rather than exaggerating masturbation. Which is it? Just because two acts are listed together doesn’t mean that they are being equated. If I say grand theft and petty theft are both property crimes, does that mean I am equating them? Obviously not.

    Also, the catechism specifically qualifies its claims about masturbation which you fail to mention. The qualification is this: “To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability.”

    You also say in the comment noted above that: “Pretty much all they say on the subject of rape is that it is a sin against chastity.” This is just false. What the catechism says is: “Rape is the forcible violation of the sexual intimacy of another person. It does injury to justice and charity. Rape deeply wounds the respect, freedom, and physical and moral integrity to which every person has a right. It causes grave damage that can mark the victim for life. It is always an intrinsically evil act. Graver still is the rape of children committed by parents (incest) or those responsible for the education of the children entrusted to them.”

    The CC’s position on masturbation is wrong, but I believe we have more to gain from understanding the CC’s reasoning than we do from mocking an uncharitable representation of their position. The CC believes some quite dubious things about sex, but I think you’ll find that they have a fairly coherent view of sexuality that needs to be addressed head on rather than reduced to some of it’s more dubious implications (e.g., that masturbation is a sin). The CC’s view depends on a kind of naturalistic fallacy which (in one form or other) is a scourge on folk morality across the board. Taking the time to dismantle this foundation would be a fairer and more productive approach in my opinion.

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