P. Z. fails to Pharyngulate poll, is humiliated as cats win overwhelmingly (ergo a prize)

April 13, 2012 • 6:10 am

Even though P. Z. Myers seems to hate cats—at least judging by his frequent “anti-Caturday” posts—he owns at least one felid.  It’s beyond me how one can hate an animal and yet own one (I weep for that moggie), and the man really should get a squid if he’s going to bang on like this.

At any rate, the bad news is that he tried to Pharyngulate the cats-vs.-dogs-vs.-babies poll, sending over his squidly minions to vote for . . . . none of the above!.  But thanks to some judicious advertising next to his request, he became hoist with his own petard (h/t to alert reader Kevin for the screenshot):

Really, what chance did the man have with an adorable tabby kitten placed right next to his call for dissing cats? Indeed, his call was futile. The final result of the poll (well, a result that hasn’t changed much in the past two days) is this:

Now let’s not be complacent, as the sycophantic horde of squidophiles keeps cuttling over to the site and voting for the last category.  If you haven’t voted for cats yet, do so early and often (here). But for the nonce I think we’ve not only put kittehs on top, but soundly trounced the Pharyngulites, who are now creeping home with limp, soggy tentacles dragging behind.

The good news is that I will award a prize to one randomly-selected reader.  On Monday, after judicious application of a random number generator, I’ll give the name of the lucky winner of an autographed copy of WEIT.  The flyleaf will contain not only my signature, but my warm personal congratulations and a hand-drawn kitteh.

Thanks to all for participating, and vote if you haven’t yet.  You can still enter the contest by voting the right way and noting your vote on this thread. You have till Sunday afternoon.

74 thoughts on “P. Z. fails to Pharyngulate poll, is humiliated as cats win overwhelmingly (ergo a prize)

  1. Of course kittehs trounced all others (but I do have a regard for squid as I am doing philosphical things through Cthulhu).
    All hail Ceiling Cat (the black fattee Cattee is not witin telepath-shot).

  2. It’s beyond me how one can hate an animal and yet own one…

    For decades, when my kids still lived at home, all the animals I later “owned” were acquired by someone else in my household. So, I can see how it might happen. (P.S. I didn’t hate the cats – they were just OK.)

  3. Actually kitteh’s have fallen appreciably. They were at 46% at one point, and at 44% when I first saw PZ’s post.

    We cannot be complacent, esp. as this poll runs until 10 May!

    I’ve now voted several times from different endpoints and browsers!

    /@

    1. Actually, I think you can just click the “vote” button at the bottom of the results graph in order to cast another vote. It increments the total vote counter, though I don’t have the patience to keep clicking long enough to see if it’ll move the percentages.

      b&

  4. The Squiddish One is nothing if not persistent. I just re-voted. Sixty-nine others had, too, since the “final results” screenshot, and the Nuns…er, sorry, “Nones,” are slowly gaining.

    Adorable Pictures of Babies?
    3%
    Adorable Pictures of Puppies?
    21%
    Adorable Pictures of Kittens?
    41%
    All of the Above
    10%
    None of the Above
    23%
    Total Votes: 3,745

    (What happened to the other 2%?)

    Cheers,

    b&

  5. Twice I’ve seen the word ‘nonce’ in one of JC’s entries and it’s thrown me both times. The general meaning in the UK is sex offender. I thought the friendly feud with PZ had suddenly turned nasty AND actionable!

    1. I was about to say the exact same thing, although doesn’t ‘nonce’ generally refer to a very specific type of sex offender?

    2. Interesting. I wonder if British IT professionals use a different word, then.

      I don’t recall hearing it used the way Jerry is using it.

      1. Was “word” supposed to link somewhere?

        Certainly, we use “nonce values” in cryptography. You can sometimes see it in the URL mess when you’re signing on to social networks with Twitter or Facebook via OAuth.

        In everyday English, it’s uncommon, except in the phrase “for the nonce” — although that increasingly seems like an affectation.

        /@

        1. Yeah, it was supposed to link to a computer security site. Wasn’t important enough to post a fixed link.

    3. The general meaning in the UK is sex offender.

      That is the meaning in the specific case of prison slang. But outside that context the word has a perfectly respectable meaning of “once” or “for the current time”.
      I don’t know the etymology of the prison sense of “nonce”, but I note it’s similarity to “ponce”, which means “male homosexual” in current popular slang, but has a longer “proper English” meaning of “pimp” or “procurer”.

  6. I don’t think we have yet seen the full strength of PZ’s horde. They are not above creating voting bots.

    However, right is on our side.

    1. There may be sympathetic subversives undermining the Horde, though.

      But I know nuthin’ about nuthin’. *fingers his ears*

      1. Couldn’t be. Clearly, that would contradict their programming…

        …unless the Pharyngubots have contracted a nasty pro-kitteh computer virus! Perhaps, with PZ on the other side of the globe, their natural programmed defenses have weakened.

    2. This means war.

      (former sasqwatch back, having had to adopt a new nym because of the login system)

      None of the above needs to take a hike. Butter kitteh is back on the job.

      1. Butter kitteh is on the job, voting as often as that ridiculously slow site permits. Apparently he knows more about computers than sasqwatch does.

      2. Wow. 7:31pm Saturday, Chicago time, Total Votes: 5,255, and Butter is dancing furiously on the keyboard.

        PZ has really, really pissed him off. 40% Kittehs, 30% squiddles.

  7. Given the relatively modest number of total votes, I can only assume that the Pharyngulites are not turning out in force.

    1. Actually, that’s not entirely accurate. The horde have turned out in the numbers they can; the confounder is that the horde has largely left PZ and his 50 or so regular commenters.

  8. I have noticed a certain dissension amongst the ranks of the Pharyngulites on this important question which is resulting in sometimes open rebellion to the point where some members have come out as cat lovers.

    Strange times indeed in the land of the Cephalopod overlord.

    1. Yes, some of us regard the evident disdain for felines as a distinct flaw in the otherwise sterling character of His Cephalopodic Overlordship.

      In reply to a point made in OP: last I heard, the family feline was in possession of the Myers daughter, who is now grown & gone.

      We, by comparison, retain our three domestic felines (with some turnover due to mortality), forcing our younger son to acquire his own (a Siamese, yet — he has inherited excellent taste!). As he is now returning to his native land for Ph.D work, we look forward to meeting said animal.

  9. Squid vs Kitteh war will rage this weekend. Although those who like slimy things will probably not gain much.

    Besides, those slimy cephalopods look better in a nice “Paella” after a long day scuba diving. Accompanied by…

  10. The situation continues to deteriorate. The nones have gained a point just since Ben posted, and have gone from c. 6% to 24 in the past day.

    Adorable Pictures of Babies?
    3%
    Adorable Pictures of Puppies?
    21%
    Adorable Pictures of Kittens?
    41%
    All of the Above
    9%
    None of the Above
    24%
    Total Votes: 3,887

  11. squidophiles

    = ‘catophiles’.
    If you insist on ‘ailurophile’ instead, then I guess it ought to be ‘kalamarophile’. Here on your LOLzy website.

  12. I’m feeling slightly … conflicted. My recent order list at a Certain Well Known Online Bookshop includes both felines (2.4m (8ft) tall space-faring kittehs called Kzinti) and squid-o-forms (Call of Chthulu and others from HP Lovecraft).
    I think I’ll sit this one out. I quite like dogs too, thought I couldn’t eat one bigger than a Yorkie at a single sitting (and they’re bony!).

  13. Voted for ‘None of the Above’, since that group also contains Bunnies and Ugly Ducklings.

    26% now. Will vote only once. 🙂

  14. I’m surprised no one has pointed out yet that the kitten ad served to Kevin was in all likelihood individually targeted to him based on his browsing history. When I go to Pharyngula, I see ads for my local ballet company, which I’m quite sure the vast majority of Pharygula readers do not see. So it’s no great surprise if cat lovers should see a kitten ad in that slot. It does not mean that everyone saw it.

  15. Adorable Pictures of Babies?
    3%
    Adorable Pictures of Puppies?
    19%
    Adorable Pictures of Kittens?
    40%
    All of the Above
    9%
    None of the Above
    27%
    Total Votes: 4,430

    The squid attack!

  16. I’m not a particular fan of cats myself (don’t hate them though), but that post was damned funny! Keep ’em up!

    Vaal.

  17. “…and the man really should get a squid if he’s going to bang on like this.”

    I could be wrong, but I suspect PZ does (often if not always) have squid at home, in the fridge, the skillet or the oven…

  18. Kitten ad? I don’t get any ads; thanks to too many annoying blinking ugly ads, all ads are now banished by the magic ad filter.

  19. HELP!!! Look everyone, the squids are going mad! Help Help Help!

    Adorable Pictures of Babies?
    2%
    Adorable Pictures of Puppies?
    18%
    Adorable Pictures of Kittens?
    40%
    All of the Above
    8%
    None of the Above
    29%

    1. Have no fear, Butter kitteh is here.

      Adorable Pictures of Babies? 2%
      Adorable Pictures of Puppies? 17%
      Adorable Pictures of Kittens? 41%
      All of the Above 8%
      None of the Above 30%

      Total Votes: 5,383

      1. Butter kitteh, I love you!
        And I won’t ask how you did it,
        love is blind.
        🙂

        Adorable Pictures of Kittens?
        52%

        None of the Above
        24%

  20. Just went there again but I couldn’t find a voting box. Maybe they’ve hidden it.

    Anyway the first pic of a hideously ugly baby licking a hideously ugly dog (or maybe it’s the other way around, whatever, they’re both quite deficient in fur) is enough to put me off canines and humanoid larvae forever.

    Don’t know if PZ’s squicky minions will manage to paryngulate the poll at this late stage, only consolation is that both kittehs and ‘none of the above’ look set to bury the pink maggots which the author of the poll was trying to promote.

    (Statutory exception: My granddaughter is cute. In my eyes only. All others are obnoxious.)

    1. oops. Pharyngulate. With a H. Must get that right, don’t wish to attract the attention of the squid squad.

      Not sure why I bother when wordpress always steals my terminal ‘y’, though.

  21. well I just tried to vote several times in a row for kittehs and it didn’t seem to work, that is the overall count number did not change after the votings. Hm… How can we save the cats from a humiliating poll result come monday?

  22. Holy mackerel! Somethin’ fishy’s afoot..
    Adorable Pictures of Babies?
    2%
    Adorable Pictures of Puppies?
    18%
    Adorable Pictures of Kittens?
    40%
    All of the Above
    8%
    None of the Above
    30%
    Total Votes: 4,942
    Vote

  23. I have voted for kitties as it is obviously the correct answer. I feel Mr Myers was trying to manipulate the vote by posting the least cute pictures of kitties he could find. Tsk.

  24. Wow. I don’t know where Butter got all that stamina.

    Adorable Pictures of Babies?
    2%
    Adorable Pictures of Puppies?
    15%
    Adorable Pictures of Kittens?
    47%
    All of the Above
    7%
    None of the Above
    27%

    Total Votes: 6,017

    If you turn your head to the right 90 degrees, the bar graph almost looks like a bird.

    1. I’m really worried about Butter. I’ve never seen him enraged like this before. I just cannot tear him away from the computer. I tried more catnip; he just hisses at me, and keeps jumping up and down on the keyboard. What do I do?

      Adorable Pictures of Babies?
      1%
      Adorable Pictures of Puppies?
      12%
      Adorable Pictures of Kittens?
      56%
      All of the Above
      6%
      None of the Above
      22%

      Total Votes: 7,229

      1. Well, between the squicky suckers and us, we’ve got humanoid larvae down to 1%. Way to go!

      2. Butter kitteh is experiencing a feline creative rage. I have not witnessed this state in cats myself yet. But I have heard it told that it is very important not to interrupt the feline in creative rage. Just make sure that he has food and drink at his disposal. Also install his favorite sleeping item (box, carpet, mattress) right next to the workplace. That way, as soon as exhaustion hits, and it will eventually, butter can just relax all his paths and gently drift to sleep. But be prepared, after his catnap, he might want to get back to the job at hand. You’ll have to have disconnected the computer at that stage if you want butter to do somethin’ else with the remainder of his sunday.

        Butter kitteh, you are our hero!!!

        Adorable Pictures of Babies?
        1%
        Adorable Pictures of Puppies?
        12%
        Adorable Pictures of Kittens?
        57%
        All of the Above
        5%
        None of the Above
        22%
        Total Votes: 7,420

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