Kitteh contest: Calvin

We shall have one reader’s cat a week until I’ve exhausted my backlog, and that will take over a year.  Here’s a good one: valentine-nosed Calvin, the beloved (and slightly out of focus!) pet of reader articulett.  Their story:

Calvin travels from the year 2000 to tell your other contenders to move aside.  He notes that he is made of the finest material forged in stars billions of years in the past, and he shares common ancestry with all 3 of the fine judges.  Calvin retains his regal bearing despite being forced to live with a woman who is not only a procrastinator, but a poor photographer as well.  Moreover, this woman makes frequent juvenile jokes about Calvin having a “heart on” (his nose). Despite this, Calvin’s dignity remains intact. Calvin has one pet dog (seen in the photo) whom he’s trained to do his bidding and one pet primate whom he’s attempting to teach photography.

Articulett added this information in a followup email:

Calvin was supposed to be a foster cat (I used to foster animals for the Humane Society.)  I’d bring the animals to the pet store each week for potential adoption by pet lovers.  A family loved Calvin’s unique nose and decided to adopt him.  I also encouraged them to adopt another cat that I had been watching because, as everyone knows, 2 kittehs are better than one.  They agreed.  (I actually cried when Calvin was adopted because I’d grown attached to the dude).  But Calvin was apparently a brat cat and the family decided to send him back, keeping the other cat instead.  Well, I like rejects. Calvin may be a reject, but he’s MY reject.  I told that this characteristic angel was surely being a brat so that he would be returned to me.  I’ve had Calvin for over 10 years now along with a small menagerie of other rejects including the dog in the background.*


*JAC note: The dog appears here only by accident, but at least he looks properly cowed.


  1. Posted February 17, 2011 at 5:59 am | Permalink

    Of *course* doggie is cowed…look at that regal ruff and kingly stance! Is there any question that we are in the presence of royalty? ;-))

  2. Dominic
    Posted February 17, 2011 at 6:36 am | Permalink

    Regal cat indeed.
    And if you like leopards – & Hyaenas – last night Channel 4 [UK] had a terrific documentary showing both at the body of an elephant in an experiment to see how scavangers work –
    The hyaena first hyaena at the scene is braver than I am. Not for the squeamish!

  3. Posted February 17, 2011 at 6:59 am | Permalink

    All hail Calvin the lion-hearted!


  4. daveau
    Posted February 17, 2011 at 7:55 am | Permalink

    If there are both dogs and cats in a household, we all know who is in charge.

    Calvin is sure a handsome guy. Hurray for Calvin and articulett.

  5. James Robinson
    Posted February 17, 2011 at 10:27 am | Permalink

    Absolutely gorgeous!

  6. Jolo
    Posted February 17, 2011 at 12:15 pm | Permalink

    The picture would have been better with more dog and less cat.

    • whyevolutionistrue
      Posted February 17, 2011 at 2:00 pm | Permalink

      That comment is almost a BANNING offense! 🙂

  7. frank sellout
    Posted February 17, 2011 at 12:59 pm | Permalink

    Love the whiskers, he looks like a wizard cat, that’s probably how he controls the dog. You should give him one of those bent pointy hats to wear!


  8. Diane G.
    Posted February 17, 2011 at 3:34 pm | Permalink

    Super write-up, Articulett! Would love to hear more details about Calvin & his pet dog as well.

  9. JBlilie
    Posted February 17, 2011 at 3:57 pm | Permalink

    A fine looking beastie!

  10. Posted February 17, 2011 at 4:12 pm | Permalink

    You can certainly tell who is king of the house in that photo! Some people just can’t handle that much royalty.

  11. articulett
    Posted February 17, 2011 at 5:55 pm | Permalink

    Seeing my beast on the internet made my day!

    Thanks everyone.

    I was told by a human who knows Calvin personally that he was sure to win if there was a category for “ugly, old, and evil.” (He’s not really evil; he just thinks humans should be clawed if they aren’t showing him the proper amount of attention.)

    When Calvin wants to go out he reaches for the door handle and looks at any humans nearby as if to say, “You’re the ones with opposable thumbs– open the damn door!” I know enough to always comply.

    • Diane G.
      Posted February 17, 2011 at 8:22 pm | Permalink

      Well he’s certainly not ugly!

  12. Dominic
    Posted February 18, 2011 at 2:31 am | Permalink

    Where’s Hobbes?

  13. Notagod
    Posted February 18, 2011 at 9:36 am | Permalink

    Calvin is surely most kind and just, allowing one of his slaves to take the official portrait and allowing another slave to actually be seen! The photograph perfectly captures the magnitude of Calvin’s sacrifice, even to the extent of sharing the focal point with the slave. It is emotionally overwhelming.

  14. Thornavis.
    Posted February 18, 2011 at 10:55 am | Permalink

    Beautiful cat. What breed of dog is that ? It looks like a Siamese cat, protective mimicry ?

  15. David
    Posted February 19, 2011 at 4:19 pm | Permalink

    How do I send Jerry some cat pictures? What’s the – or where do I find the email addy – to send to?

    • whyevolutionistrue
      Posted February 19, 2011 at 4:24 pm | Permalink

      Just Google me and and go to my University of Chicago website (second or third down). You’ll find my email address there. Make sure the kitteh pictures are GOOD ONES!!!!!

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