I got an email from a reader who had a few comments about glossolalia (“speaking in tongues”), and then his email turned into a description of his journey from belief to atheism. Because of the possible negative repercussions of the author coming out publicly, I won’t identify him except to use the word “he”. Anyway, the name is not important. Feel free to comment or to add messages to the writer. It also gives us a hint of what happens to a believer who speaks in tongues.
Mr. Coyne:
I’m a fellow atheist, but I came from a religious background, a believer for decades. Pentecostal to be specific. I saw the Jesus ‘n’ Mo cartoon on glossolalia on your site, and I thought I’d fill you in on what peopl who have never had the experience don’t know.
I had the experience when I was 27 years old. For me, it was an overwhelming experience. I wouldn’t liken it to anything like the euphoria of attending a rock concert or just emotional euphoria. In my case, that would be a completely inadequate and misleading description.
For me, it was like my body, from head to toe, was suddenly infused with this ecstatic flowing tangible (I want to say electric, but it was way beyond that) energy that was far and away beyond anything I had ever experienced before in my life. I became physically weak from it…While this was going on, I heard myself rapid fire uttering gibberish.The experience was ecstatic beyond words.
I fell to my knees just from weakness and being overpowered with the experience, and began weeping uncontrollably…I became extremely emotional AFTER the experience; prior to it, I was sort of blank emotionally, just listening to my pastor pray over me. A sort of “afterglow” of the experience stayed with me all day, and I couldn’t wait to get to Church again that evening for another shot..
During the preacher’s sermon, the experience overwhelmed me again and I was flooded again, but somewhere in the back of my mind I remember reading scripture that said during service things are to be conducted “decently and in order”, so I thought I was being disruptive and forced myself to stop.
I had that same afterglow for a few minutes, and then suddenly, without warning, I felt it sucked out of me and I felt completely empty. I was never able to repeat the experience again, no matter how many times I “sought the Lord”.
I’m sharing this with you because I want you to know that that there IS something to the Pentecostal experience. However, instead of becoming a strengthening factor in my own “Christian life”, it became a source of nothing but ongoing torment that lasted for decades. I couldn’t understand why God took this ability away from me, and wouldn’t give it back. What did I do wrong to be punished like that? (The experience is like the most powerful drug you’ve ever taken in your life. Once you’ve had it to the degree I experienced it, you want MORE.)
In those years, other things happened in my life that I won’t go into, but those life experiences along with the negative effect the glossolalia experience had on me long term eventually set me on my journey to re-examine my religious beliefs, trying to square them with reality. I saw the people that I used to go to Church with (by this time I had quit attending) professed to be acting like Christians, but on social and political issues took stands that were contrary to what I knew of Jesus’s teachings.
As far as the “Spirit Filled” tounge talking Christians go, I saw them falling far short of what the Biblical model of a spirit filled Christian is supposed to be.
Not a single time in my religious life did I see a miracle of any kind, even though these hypocritical selfish people made claims of miracles on almost a daily basis. It was all nonsense. Liars re-affirming one another’s lie.
I FINALLY decided to settle it all for myself, and did the one thing Christians don’t do…I read the entire Bible cover to cover, did some research to boot.
I’m sure you’re familiar with the Mark Twain quote that the best cure for Christianity is to read the Bible.
Smart man that Twain.
I’m 64 now. I was 60 when I read the Bible and woke up from the delusion of religion. I’m free from it now.
I still couldn’t explain my experience, but I am sure it had something to do with firing neurons and chemicals in the brain, because I’ve NEVER in the 64 years of my life seen ANY supernatural miracle of any kind whatsoever anywhere. I’ve seen phony baloney preachers and evangelists pretend to work miracles, and only a moron would go along with their play acting, because where the rubber meets the road, nothing ever really happened.
But in regards to my glossolalia experience, I struggled with it, I struggled hard. But that was because the experience was so powerful and vivid.
But I also had to look just as hard at what it did to me in the long run, and in the long run, it kept me, pardon the expression, fucked up for years.
When I tried to speak with other atheists that were former Pentecostals, I learned they never had the experience, and couldn’t relate. They just faked it while in Church to get out from under the peer pressure. They just thought it was all fake. A lot of them DO fake it because there is so much peer pressure to have the experience.
I’ve only spoken privately with one other former Pentecostal turned atheist that has had the exact same experience I had, and his story is very similar to mine.
I sometimes wish a neuroscientist/biologist or someone in a qualified field that has actually HAD this experience look into it and find out what’s really going on, and what triggers it.
But if you’ve never had the experience, it’s easy to dismiss it as a religious ritual with no experiential substance to it at all. Make fun of it, mock it.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
For those actually having the experience, it’s like taking the most powerful drug you’ve ever taken in your life. (And I mean THE MOST POWERFUL DRUG). When you see people flopping in the floor yammering gibberish in one of these church services, getting “drunk in the spirit” as they call it, they REALLY ARE getting zonked.
It’s what they’ve really got the hots for….It’s the only part of the practice that has any tangibility to it. No one gets healed. No one performs miracles, no one does anything supernatural.
They just want to get as high as they possibly can.
(And they believe God is their hook up for this spiritual “high” party.)
So you tell me, what’s divine about wanting to do nothing but be in a state of ecstatic euphoria, and then lie about everything else?
I’m sorry this correspondence is so long, I just wanted you to know that underneath all the ridiculousness of it, something really is happening inside these people. I experienced it myself all those years ago; I just don’t believe it’s supernatural.
[Name redacted]