South African preacher claims he went to heaven—and took photos with his cellphone

April 2, 2016 • 10:00 am

There’s a reason they call religious believers a “flock”—because they’re so easily fleeced. In this case, though, the attempted removal of wool met with pushback. The miscreant here is one Pastor Paseka Motsoeneng of Incredible Happenings Ministries in Katlehong, South Africa.

The pastor, also called “Prophet Mboro,” is said to have healed many people, and delivered stones and fish through the private parts of women impregnated by demons. Here are two headlines (go to screenshots to see original articles):

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Here’s a video of the Prophet delivering stones from a woman apparently impregnated by a demon. It’s very convincing, no?

Motsoeneng has a long history of this kind of chicanery, and I feel sorry for the helpless people who believe his scam. In fact, they believe it to such an extent that they’ve enriched him considerably. As the BBC reports:

The pastor, reportedly a multi-millionaire who owns a fleet of luxurious cars and was once the subject of a BBC documentary, is no stranger to scrutiny over his financial affairs. In 2015, he was questioned by a public commission investigating the commercialisation of religion. He denied all wrongdoing, remained defiant, and told his supporters that he was determined to go to jail if that is was is necessary to protect his church’s image.

His methods are, let us say, somewhat unsettling. From iol.co:

According to the Sunday World newspaper, the pastor acts out carefully staged and managed situations on his weekend television show.

Motsoeneng has also been labelled as a “pervert” because of the unusual way he heals people, as well as a “thief” who steals the church’s money.

The newspaper reported that thousands of people had attended his service in Katlehong last week to witness his miraculous demon-banishing service which “resembled a porn movie”, rather than a religious service.

The self-styled prophet Motsoeneng put his fingers into the vaginas of two female congregants as part of a ritual to expel the demons that had allegedly possessed them.

Motsoeneng’s unorthodox demon-banishing methods, which may constitute indecent assault, alarmed other miracle-seekers who attended.

Sitting on the lap of a 17-year-old girl, Motsoeneng placed his hand on her head, and started praying for her.

Motsoeneng told the congregants her tummy had swelled up because some sorcerers had cast an evil spell on her.

As he was praying for her she collapsed. Motsoeneng then told the teenager to open her legs, which she did.

He then plunged his fingers into her vagina.

As he was busy with his “healing process”, Motsoeneng ordered her to call him by his nickname, Mboro.

“Mboro” she said, with a stifled cry.

He was interrupted by a female congregant who brought him a glassful of what looked like ice-cream, which she spoon-fed him. He was still sitting on the woman’s lap.

Despite the huge outcry following Motsoeneng’s “demon banishing” service last weekend, Katlehong police say they are not investigating the matter.

Now, however, comes a scam of epic proportions. According to the same report by the BBC, Motsoeneng actually visited heaven and took pictures with his cellphone:

But Motsoeneng, popularly known as “Prophet Mboro”, may have gone a bit too far with his latest otherworldly boast.

A South African news site quoted a church spokesperson on 30 March saying that “the prophet did go to heaven” during an Easter church service and that while there “he took pictures” using his smartphone.

But here’s the rub: you don’t get to see those photos for free.

Those eager to see photographic proof of the afterlife will have to open their wallets though. Mboro has asked those who wish to view the pictures for a donation of 5,000 rand (about £240 or $340).

This has, predictably, led to a spate of mockery on social media. Here are a few tw**ts reproduced by the BBC (more at the site):

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There are none so blind as those who cannot see—or who wish to see only what they believe. I hope someone manages to reproduce those pictures taken by Motsoeneng during his sojourn in Heaven.

h/t; Barry

 

Here’s the bird!

April 2, 2016 • 9:15 am

Yesterday I put up a “where’s the bird?” post that included the photo below. That was a very hard one, for the bird silhouette was almost impossible to tell from the leaf silhouettes:

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The answer? The bird is the black blob closest to the center: about 60% across from the right and 65% down from the top. I wouldn’t have known it was a bird had I not watched it for 30 minutes. The other black blobs are dead leaves.

Two readers, Smokedpaprika and Monika, got it. The rest failed.

Caturday felid trifecta: cat survives 8 days in mailed box of DVDs. the craziest of all Cat Ladies, epic crow-instigated cat fight

April 2, 2016 • 8:30 am

Meet Cupcake, a part-Siamese cat that spent eight days in a box of DVDs as it made its way from Cornwall to Sussex. Fortunately, the cat was microchipped, and you can see the one-minute video of Cupcake’s joyous reunion with her owner by clicking on the screenshot below.

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Reader Heather Hastie sent this video, adding this:

Since you’re been so busy, I posted a couple of cat stories myself – one about some African Servals, and another about some Clouded Leopard cubs – but this one is pure WEIT. You won’t believe this woman:

All the cats look healthy, so she’s clearly doing a great job, but the numbers just boggle the mind. It’s like she’s changed them into herd animals.

Mr. Das in Bangalore has had up to 85 cats at a time (most not living in his house), but here’s Lynea Lattanzio a woman who runs a no-kill shelter housing 800 cats. She gave up her home to the cats and moved to a trailer on the property. Lattanzio claims she’s housed 28,000 cats over her life—surely a record!

Heather also sent the photo below the video, which makes the unwarranted implication that males over 40 aren’t interested in cats! (I recently finished a week in Bangalore with 40 moggies!)

If you want more information about the Cat House on the Kings, or would like to donate, go here.

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Here’s the most epic cat fight I know of on YouTube, one made doubly intriguing because the crows seem to be egging on the cats to fight. Could that be possible? The incident took place in Russia, and it looks as if neither cat suffered greatly from the encounter.

The story in English is here, and there are some strange comments on the video, including this one:

This is the reason cats will never rule the world. A cooperative species would gang up on the common enemy (crows). Instead the dumb bastards fight each other and let the crows get away with it. Cats are fucking stupid.

h/t: Matthew Cobb, Barry

Readers’ wildlife photos

April 2, 2016 • 7:30 am

We have some insect photos from a new contributor, reader Kurt Andreas from Queens, New York, whose Instagram site is here. His descriptions are indented below.

Hickory Tussock Moth (Lophocampa caryae) caterpillar; New Paltz, NY (October 4, 2013). David L. Wagner’s Caterpillars of Eastern North America lists Hickory, pecan, and walnuts as some of this caterpillar’s favorite food, although they can be found munching away on virtually any wooden plan. Their bodies are covered in urticating hairs, and they’re responsible for most cases of dermatitis caused by caterpillars in NA. The spines come off easily when handled, and besides getting stuck in the skin can easily be breathed in.

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Here’s a photo of the adult moth taken from Wikipedia:

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Mourning Cloak (Nymphalis antiopa); Glendale, NY (March 24, 2016); One of the first butterflies of spring, emerging as an overwinterwing adult as the weather gets warmer. Widespread throughout NA, but after living in upstate NY for over a decade I never saw one until moving to suburbia. Adults are the longest-lived butterfly in NA, living for almost a year.

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Oleander aphids / Milkweed aphids (Aphis nerii); New Paltz, NY (September 19, 2013); sap suckers of the Dogbane family, including milkweed. I don’t know how they deal with the latex secretions of milkweed that deter other insect pests, (with the exception of certain specialists like the Monarch caterpillar). These aphids are entirely parthenogenic, with males never produced, and unlike most other aphids they very rarely produce overwintering eggs.

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Blue Dasher (Pachydiplax longipennis) male [first photo]; New Paltz, NY (July 6, 2013).

Widow Skimmer (Libellula luctuosa) male [second and third photos]; New Paltz, NY (July 3, 2013).
Two of perhaps a dozen or so species of Dragonflies I documented watching one small pond in New Paltz for 6 years. Dragonflies aren’t the easiest subjects to photograph, but during mating time the males use a scramble resource strategy, and are very reluctant to flee whatever part of the pond they’ve staked out. Any good locale will inevitably be taken over if they abandon it for any amount of time, and when not resting the males are constantly patrolling their area, chasing off rivals, and waiting for females.

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Saturday: Hili dialogue

April 2, 2016 • 6:30 am

by Grania

Good morning!

Jerry should be in the air right now, but he has several posts prepared for today.

We’ll check in with the Princess this morning, as it is the only way to start the weekend. Just a wee smidgen of hubris there.

Hili: I’m thinking about the essence of natural laws.
A: Have you reached any conclusions?
Hili: Yes, they are all laws that by right are mine.

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In Polish:

Hili: Zastanawiam się nad istotą praw naturalnych.
Ja: Masz jakieś wnioski?
Hili: Tak, to są wszystkie te prawa, które moim zdaniem mnie przysługują.

 

The Godless Spellchecker is traveling too and sent Jerry this.

I’m currently in Rome taking in the sights. A few cats live in the Colosseum. Managed to snap one. Can you find it?

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The Stanford Review manages to offend everybody (well done)

April 1, 2016 • 2:39 pm

by Grania

It’s an April Fool’s joke, but it’s also satirical and rather pointed. It’s guaranteed to offend a lot of people who will claim they are skewering sacred cows; but at least this is pretty good evidence that #NotAllStudents are Special Snowflakes.

Like all good satire, it comes uncomfortably close to being indistinguishable from the real thing, while also being clearly absurd in other places.

 

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Give it a read.

Nothing can go wrong with this gun, can it?

April 1, 2016 • 10:00 am

After all, it’s very clever: a two-shot gun disguised as a cellphone, and manufactured by Ideal Conceal, whose motto is “Because the right of self-defense is the first law of nature.” And if it happens in nature, it must be a right, no?

Here’s the gun: a .380 caliber double-barreled derringer, which is a “transformer” cellphone:

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The transformation:

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And it’s only $395.  A pittance to buy yourself peace of mind.  However, it is a concealed weapon, and to carry it you’ll need a concealed carry permit. The ad for the gun almost makes it seem that this gun evades that regulation, though it doesn’t:

The best gun is always the one you have with you. 

In today’s day and age, carrying a concealed pistol has become a necessity. But what if you didn’t have to conceal?

That’s where Ideal Conceal comes in. Smartphones are EVERYWHERE, so your new pistol will easily blend in with today’s environment.  In its locked position it will be virtually undetectable because it hides in plain sight.  ~ Always check your State and local concealment laws.

Note the caveat in the last sentence. So what’s the advantage of this? I suppose because it isn’t obvious, and it’s slim. However, consider this: even if you agree with the nonsense that carrying a concealed weapon is a NECESSITY, there are real guns, containing up to 10 rounds, that are so small you can slip them in your pocket. If you’re mugged on the street, and this cellphone gun is all you have, I wouldn’t count on your being able remove it from your pocket (what’s a mugger going to think when you go for your cellphone?) take off the safety, “transform” it, and fire it before your assailant gets you first. Since this is not a “home defense” or target weapon, it seems unusually cumbersome.

And what could go wrong? After all, even if you leave it lying around the house, there’s no chance your kids could mistake it for a cellphone, accidentally unlock the safety, and. . . . BANG! Right?

h/t: Gravelinspector