For years I’ve been afflicted with “academic anxiety dreams,” which go like this: I have an imminent final exam in college, and either haven’t studied for it, can’t find my way to the exam room, or am late for it. These dreams aren’t as frequent as they used to be (which was almost every night) but they still recur about once a week. But their precise form is always different.
Last night, for instance, I dreamed that I had final exam in introductory biology (the courses vary from dream to dream), but had not been at two lectures and so was missing the notes. During the entire dream—who knows how long they last?—I was wandering about trying to find someone who could give me the notes for those lectures. First I encountered my old college freshman-year roommate, who said he had the notes but then couldn’t find them. I then wandered into another building, and managed to locate someone who also had taken the class, and had the notes. This person, who had fluffy hair like Liberace, had a huge box of very elaborate notes: each lecture’s notes were put in a separate file folder, and pasted on the folder ‘s front was an outline of the lecture on a large blue Post-It note (if you wake up soon after you dream, you can remember many details).
Unfortunately, this person was deeply suspicious of me; he said that he feared that if I studied his notes, I’d do better than he would, and hurt the grading curve. I managed to wheedle the notes out of him anyway, and went back to my dorm to study. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find my dorm, but that’s another story. . .
I used to think that the profusion of these anxiety dreams, all connected with lectures and tests, was my own personal pathology, but over the years I’ve found that many academics have them. My old advisor Dick Lewontin, for instance, said he had the same dream—about being late for an exam—every night for decades.
Now I’m not a diehard Freudian (his Interpretation of Dreams is a real exercise in confirmation bias, as well as a real stretch), but I do think that dreams are more than just random firings of neurons. For reasons we don’t understand, but which I find fascinating, our fears, hopes, and personalities are all massaged by our brain into a coherent story while we’re asleep. Talk about the hard problem of consciousness: what about the even harder problem of where dreams come from?
At any rate, do any other readers out there have academic anxiety dreams? And, of course, if you have any recurrent dream, or simply had a really weird one recently, we’d all be delighted to hear about it.