Tsouris at Midway

October 5, 2022 • 7:30 am

My flight to Boston boards at 5:15 and leaves at 5:45. That’s a.m., not p.m.! I figured, since I like to get to the airport early, I’d take a cab at 3:15, which would get here by 3:45, giving me an hour and a half to get coffee and write. (Why, you ask, am I flying so early? Because that’s when the only nonstop flight to Boston on Southwest Airlines leaves today.)

Well, my insomnia kicked in again, waking me up at midnight.  I lay abed until 2 a.m. Then a shower and a shave, and I relaxed on the couch. But the cab arrived early (3:00 a.m), drove through the south side like a bat out of hell, and I was at Midway Airport by 3:25.

At that time TSA Precheck wasn’t open, so I had to go through the proletarian line, and you know what that means. Yep, I was GROPED AGAIN–groped while many people walked right by me. Why does an innocuous 72-year old guy always get singled out for groping? And although they didn’t palpate my buttocks, the guy did run his hands up my inner thigh and into forbidden territory.

The tsouris continued. As I was desperate for coffee. I asked the TSA man where I could get some, and he replied that there wasn’t a drop available until 5 a.m., when Dunkin Donuts and a few other purveyors of java opened. As I write this, it’s 4:15 and I have a seat right by Dunkin Donuts so I can get coffee as soon as possible. Writing helps kill time until I can have that first blessed sip.

The mitzvah is that the plane is scheduled to leave on time and will arrive in Boston at 8:15 their time. The weather is good. After I arrive at Logan, I’ll make my way to South Station, where I get a noon bus to Cape Cod to meet my friend, with whom I’m staying in Eastham (arrow) for a couple of days. That gives me another few hours to kill. I have a book with me—Hamnet, recommended by a reader—but it’s hard to read with no sleep behind me.

After that it’s a 1.5-hour bus ride back to Boston from Barnstable. It’s been many years since I’ve been on Cape Cod, and I’m eager to see it again. (I went soon after college with a friend, wanting to find Kurt Vonnegut’s house (and  perhaps see the Great Man himself) in West Barnstable. We found the house, but were too timid to knock on the door.)

It’s now 4:30 and only half an hour until the vending of coffee begins. The man is already behind the counter of Dunkin Donuts, and I will be their first customer. (I may treat myself to a pair of sinkers for breakfast. When I went to graduate school, I lived on Beacon Street in Boston for a year before I moved to Cambridge. Every morning I took the subway from Copley Square to Harvard Square, stopping off before the train at the Copley Dunkin Donuts and buying two chocolate-glazed chocolate donuts, which at that time cost all of 25 cents.

And here’s what I look like now, severely sleep deprived, a general wreck, and without a drop of caffeine in me

Wish me luck! Mrkgnao! It’s 4:45 and in 15 minutes I will get the biggest coffee available. At least it’s not given a fancy Italian name at Dunkin Donuts. It’s just a “large coffee.”

p.s. I took off my mask to take the photo above, but of the many people here now, I’m the only one who’s masked.

Lagniappe: A Northern flying squirrel (Glaucomys sabrinus) trapped by a friend who tried to livetrap what she thought was a regular squirrel. She caught this instead, built it a nest in her barn, where it has free access to the outside.  Every day she feeds it nuts, seeds, grains, and–its favorite–apple slices smeared with peanut butter. It has a great life. Readers; wildlife!


16 thoughts on “Tsouris at Midway

  1. You paid for it dearly, but this is a great read! “drove through the south side like a bat out of hell” – I can see it!

    1. It’s not every post that can contain an allusion or reference to Shakespeare, Joyce, Vonnegut, and Meat Loaf.

  2. By the time you’ll read this you’ll be gulping coffee and snorting donuts! Next stop Logan Airport! I haven’t been to the Cape in a long time. A friend of ours from Sweden called it “the Cod.” We loved that.

    Relaxing on “the Cod” is a good way to fall asleep, providing that you’re not interrupted by a nor’easter.

  3. Flying squirrels are great, and they seem to love to be domesticated. I had one once in Richmond, where there are apparently so many that the minor league baseball team is the Richmond Flying Squirrels.

  4. According to flight aware, you have landed! An hour ago in Boston. I checked Amtrak just to see if there was a no hassle alternative to flying this route between two major cities. Even with the tsouris at Midway this morning, I think the non-stop plane is the right choice. The best train is the Lake Shore Special clocking in just shy of 22hrs! Being in a spoke town which means always having at least one stop on any flight (unless flying to a hub city), I started taking the train when traveling along the northeast corridor anywhere between Newport News and Boston (a 13 hr trip; 4 hrs newport news to DC but no I95 traffic mess). I have enjoyed the quiet time to read or work on my computer..they have 120V outlets..and no TSA pat down. i also enjoy the roomy restrooms, fairly wide seats and legroom, and access to diet pepsi in the snack car. Plus the trains generally connect city centers with some stops in suburbs of bigger cities.

  5. … so I had to go through the proletarian line, and you know what that means.

    Stuck among the hoi polloi. Oh, the indignities that life can sometimes visit upon us! 🙂

  6. … the guy did run his hands up my inner thigh and into forbidden territory.

    Shoulda told him what Suzy Creamcheese told me after the junior prom — if you wanna touch me there, you gotta neck with me for a while first. 🙂

  7. Hope I am not violating da roolz while our host is away, but thought readers might want a reminder that there is a spacex launch of four astronauts to station at noon EDT today, a little less than an hour from this posting. Pre-launch activities and launch covered on NASA tv live at https://www.nasa.gov/nasalive i thought that this is as good a place to post this heads up as any and mea culpa if I have violated roolz.

  8. I was through the area just this summer. We took one of those “duck boat” tours through Boston. It was noisy fun but its not for everyone. Still, you will have many historical buildings pointed out to you. We saw JFKs apartment that he kept there, for example. And of course the famous Make Room for Ducklings sculpture.
    Past Cape Cod is Provincetown. The downtown touristy area is heavily structured around a thriving LGBTQ community. That was very interesting, and as one gets into late afternoon there then the party really starts! I enjoyed it and got a tie-dye t-shirt. I’m not sure how active that is in the Fall, though.

  9. Jerry, THANK YOU for adding such value to my reading/social media life! I frequently forward your missives to friends and family. I love your musings, re-posting of articles, etc that spark your interest, outrage or relevant memories to the topic at hand. Also, traveling with you vicariously is in some ways better than enduring the hassles of actual travel. Oh, and as a fellow insomniac, I share your pain.

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