17 thoughts on “Jesus ‘n’ Mo ‘n’ Jannah

  1. Oh my – very clever again.

    Mo might have a thing for the barmaid – and I think she’s wise to it.

    1. She’s much too wise and worldly to still be among the virgins, apparently much desired by Mo-like nitwits.

      By the way, I assume the ‘word’ barperson has not yet infiltrated the pubs over there, and we do definitely know the sex of the never-pictured 3rd party.

      1. Not really, on the “bar person” front. Try that in most of the pubs I frequent and you’re likely to get a reply of “are these not good enough for you” accompanied by a jiggling action. Regardless of the gender, anatomy or identification of the bar person, and probably accompanied by ribald encouragement from both sides of the bar.
        We don’t know the Barmaid’s personal preferences, but Jeebus certainly sees her as “presenting” as a barmaid. Caveat Bonney What his experience base for that is, remains controversial. Just how well did he “know” Mary Magdelene?

  2. … there’s a great tune by The Crash Test Dummies, called God Shuffled His Feet, in which the lyric describes the congregation asking God puzzlers like :

    “Do you have to eat, or get your hair cut in Heaven?”

    To which “God shuffled his feet and glanced around at them – people cleared their throats and stared right back at him”

    I mean, maybe if I were bald, I’d ENJOY a haircut – never mind the virgins, man – give me HAIR.

  3. Of course, they could be male virgins. Though I still doubt the barmaid would be impressed.

    Re what’s it like in heaven, my favourite line from the Simpsons:
    [exasperated Sunday School teacher]: “For the last time Bart, the ventriloquist goes to Heaven, the dummy doesn’t!”.

  4. Seventy-two virgins strikes me as a fate worse than hell. I’d be like, “Gals, go out and get some experience, then come back and hit me up one at a time (or in two or threes … you know, if that’s what you’re into).”

  5. So reclining on a couch in a garden, being fed fruit, and drinking delicious spring water… whereas Valhalla is depicted as a splendid palace, roofed with shields, where the warriors feast on the flesh of a boar slaughtered daily and made whole again each evening. They drink liquor that flows from the udders of a goat, and their sport is to fight one another every day.

    Strange how the description of heaven varies depending on culture (or perhaps the latitude). It’s almost as if it’s made up.

    1. “…made whole again each evening..”,
      which surely must cause some serious indigestion troubles for all the boar (bore?) eaters. I had assumed it was hell, not heaven, where serious belching, barfing and diarrhea occurred.

  6. Mark Twain commented on heaven in his book “Letters from the Earth.” He said the believers imagine eternity filled with activities they never do on earth…praying, singing, etc. If you’ve never read this book…it’s brilliant.

  7. I miss Christopher Hitchens now more than ever.
    It was Hitchens who said, “paradise” is the ultimate North Korea. You can f*king DIE and get out of North Korea 🇰🇵. There is no escaping paradise.
    And I am sure he would have found the disappearance of his beloved Thomas Jefferson’s statue from NY city council in the woke age as a wonderful sign that we are building that right here on earth.

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