Duck-related hiatus

May 20, 2021 • 12:05 pm

I had several things to write about today, but there’s a bit of a “situation” in Botany Pond, with a very aggressive drake who keeps coming to the pond and driving Honey away (he leaves Dorothy alone), so that she abandons her babies, which become distaught and start peeping. In that state, they eat very little. I think the drake is randy, not just aggressive.

I’ve tried driving away the drake with a Super Soaker, but he’ll leave and come back again, driving Honey off the pond.

Given that I try to control an uncontrollable situation every hour or so, I’m not getting any writing done. Let’s hope the situation ameliorates as hormones wane. As for now, you can imagine how I feel when Honey’s babies are left alone, and are calling for a mother who is god knows where. She seems to have lost her aggression, at least towards this drake.

Stay tuned.

23 thoughts on “Duck-related hiatus

  1. Good grief – I was hoping that the downward story arcs in the Botany Pond soap opera were over for this year’s duck farming season. I hope Honey and her dwindled brood are OK.

  2. Bloody hell, it’s one thing after another for those poor ducks (and their devoted caregiver). Fingers doubly crossed that all this comes to a tired but happy end soon.We can’t take much more of this, and you most definitely can’t….

  3. I think the drake is randy, not just aggressive

    Does saltpeter work on drakes? Or, if worse comes to worst, maybe you can make a black-market connect on some Depo-Provera?

    Desperate times, desperate measures, dude.

    1. Traditionally it’s “bromide” which the Govt slips into the tea supply here, to control the birth rate. But if American mythology goes for sodium nitrate, that can be included without significant change in effect.

      Desperate times, desperate measures, dude.

      Does anyone have the phone number of the people developing robotic machine-gun guard posts for various militaries? They do the “dog-robots” that appear here regularly. Replace the machine guns with “super soakers” loaded with sodium bromide/ sodium nitrate solution. Program the target-ID and tracking software onto beak patterns. Maybe make the solution a bit sticky (“I love the smell of napalm in the morning”) so the ducks have to preen it off, ingesting the RCC (Randiness Control Chemical) in the process.
      Just how desperate is the situation?

    1. Are the campus police used to reports of a man chasing ducks with a water pistol? Yet?

  4. Best of luck, and hope there’s no repeat of falling into the pond.

    Guess it’s still “the lusty month of May.”

  5. Thank you so much for being Honey’s “knight in shining armor!” You’re the stepdad of those little ducklings.

    1. Someone is going to have to get PCC(E) a mallard-patterened lab coat, to go with his Hili-pocketed shirt.

        1. Someone, somewhere, has almost certainly done it. (Says the man who never managed to find a dinosaur-pattered fleece undersuit for my waterproof(-ish) caving overalls, in an adult size. The material was far too good to waste on kids!)

  6. Maybe some of ‘your’ ducks and drakes sense you have a favourite (Honey) and they are jealous.

  7. Daddy Fell into the Pond

    Everyone grumbled. The sky was grey.
    We had nothing to do and nothing to say.
    We were nearing the end of a dismal day,
    And there seemed to be nothing beyond,
    THEN
    Daddy fell into the pond!

    And everyone’s face grew merry and bright,
    And Timothy danced for sheer delight.
    “Give me the camera, quick, oh quick!
    He’s crawling out of the duckweed.”
    Click!

    Then the gardener suddenly slapped his knee,
    And doubled up, shaking silently,
    And the ducks all quacked as if they were daft
    And it sounded as if the old drake laughed.
    O, there wasn’t a thing that didn’t respond
    WHEN
    Daddy fell into the pond!

  8. Daddy Fell into the Pond

    Everyone grumbled. The sky was grey.
    We had nothing to do and nothing to say.
    We were nearing the end of a dismal day,
    And there seemed to be nothing beyond,
    THEN
    Daddy fell into the pond!

    And everyone’s face grew merry and bright,
    And Timothy danced for sheer delight.
    “Give me the camera, quick, oh quick!
    He’s crawling out of the duckweed.”
    Click!

    Then the gardener suddenly slapped his knee,
    And doubled up, shaking silently,
    And the ducks all quacked as if they were daft
    And it sounded as if the old drake laughed.
    O, there wasn’t a thing that didn’t respond
    WHEN
    Daddy fell into the pond!

    —-Alfred Noyes

    1. Sorry for the double post, I had trouble logging into WordPress, and thought the first post was lost.

      1. Thanks for the double post. I read the second post too since I enjoyed reading the first. 🙂

  9. Picture of PPC (E) packin’ the super soaker PLEEASE! Or better, blowing that horny drake away with it.
    They’re SO much FUN!
    D.A.
    NYC

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