From reader Merilee:
The Muslim version of this satirical commercial would lead to its creators being murdered. Thank goodness for free speech in America!
p.s. White Cheddar Cheez-Its is the best snack ever!
h/t: Merilee
A propagandizing snack
July 24, 2018 • 2:45 pm
Pretty good commercial!
Those look amazing. In high school, I would take the communion hosts that my brother stole from the rectory while serving as an altar boy, put peanut butter on them, and eat them for a snack. “Blaspheme not.”
As an erstwhile (though not very committed or long-lasting) altar boy, I recall that until “consecration” the hosts are just so much unleavened bread.
So rest easy, my child. (Now go say three Our Fathers, two Hail Marys, and attend novena as penance, if it’ll make you feel better.) 🙂
Ha! That is true. I’ll have to get some consecrated ones next time.
There’s a Polish tradition that’s done at the beginning of the Christmas eve dinner. Sheets of opłatke*, which are made of the same bread as communion hosts plays a role. They are about about 5″x8″, wafer-thin, and embossed with a Christmas-related image. They are passed from the oldest to the youngest, and each breaks off a piece and eats it. They came in sets of four sheets to a package, and after dinner the kids got the leftover pieces. So we all knew that an unconsecrated host was nothing special** – in fact, the priests at the parish where I went to school used to crumble up stale unblessed hosts and toss ’em for the birds.
*I think that’s how it was spellled.
Not that they were anything special after blessing, either.
Re: “There’s a Polish tradition that’s done at the beginning of the Christmas eve dinner. Sheets of opłatke* (…)” – close, but it is “opłatek” (plural: opłatki). See eg.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas_wafer
And as a Pole I confirm that this tradition is indeed still alive. People share opłatki with each other (by breaking a piece from another person’s opłatek) and give best wishes before Christmas eve dinner — at least that’s how it worked at my family home.
I’ll be looking for this in a store near by. Just happen to be looking for a cereal I can no longer find – Wheaties. Don’t yet know what happened but can’t find them anywhere? That’s a Jesus Christ moment.
I’ve encountered the same problem. I don’t care for Wheaties, but my love loves them, and she’s complained about not being able to find them.
I looked high and low for a hot breakfast item called Red River Cereal, but I found out you can only get it in Canada now. Amazon will import it to the states, but they charge $12-$15 per box.
Love Red River. You need to come up here and sneak some across the border. I could mail you some, but it would cost a fortune. When I first moved to Canada they had an ad for Red Rose tea, with the punchline (in a BBC accent), Only in Canada. Pity.
Better grab it before tRump puts a tariff on it.
My snack of choice is roasted soya beans… an irresistible combination of flavour and texture. Fortunately they only come in 100g packs, otherwise I would have a real problem.
Didn’t the CIA do this in the Sixties?
Freedom of speech in America… for now…
I remember when some cracker was advertised as “and it goes well with wine and cheeses,” and we all thought they said “wine and Jesus”! This product would certainly do the trick!
This made me think of this SNL skit. 37 seconds in with Chris Farley.
https://bit.ly/2LkhO9C
The Byrds and the Doobie Brothers had some success with a catchy tune with a repetitive refrain that might make a good jingo…oh yeah!
“Cheeses, cheeses, cheeses.” –Billy Graham
“What a friend we have in cheeses…”
“The only snack that fills them up AND absolves their sins.”
Puts me in mind of the classic SNL skit: “It’s a floor wax AND a dessert topping.” https://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/shimmer-floor-wax/n8625
+1
Well, they compete with my Body-O-Christ crackers, but go nicely with my Blood-‘O-Christ merlot!
White Cheddar Cheez-Its say to me, “You shouldn’t be eating this.”
Sub
Reminds me of when my son was about 5 and we were on a roller coaster on which, when we went through some water at the bottom and got sprayed, I yelled Jesus! My darling son said, Mom, why did you say Cheesies (one of his favorite snacks)?
🙂
I think that commercial television has a similar effect…
rz
There used to be this joke: “I am not religious, because I can think.” I did not like it then, because there was no qualified tests and you were effectively (informed but) opinionated.
But now when the evidence is in – there are no “ghosts” – it is time to whip it out again.
I am not religious, because I can think.
One thing you don’t want to discover firsthand: Cheez-Its™ are the official (and only) snack food served to prisoners at the Cook County jail. They let them sit until they’re stale before handing them out.
Memory from my teen years.
“Hey, Gregor, can you hand me the Cheese-Its?”
He answers with a tone: “It’s Cheese-IT.”
I was a little surprised to read the label and see he was correct…and pedantic.
I still call them cheese-its though.
And it’s Crackerjack…
I snack on sour snakes that don’t talk to me if i snack at all. Christ knows why, they have no nutritional value just a sour taste and gummy texture (a bit like religion?) a lolly for my jollies.
“..I believe in God, but I do NOT believe in the divinity (existence) of Jesus Christ!”.
…William Taft (1857-’30…27th POTUS)
..too bad that this god-damned, cursed religion, destroyed the old Roman (mithraic) religions!…Hypatia was a mathematician and she said that Jesus was an Asiatic superstition!
I prefer Cheese Nips. They’re cheaper, have a mildly naughty name, and are not made with palm oil. The only drawback is that they only have the one flavor. Cheese Nips also remind me of my grandfather, along with Saltines and Old Milwaukee.
Why would Cheese Nips remind you of saltines and Old Milwaukee?
This reminded me of something much funnier: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-E9r2B-XeyY
Best snack is celery plain!
“Best snack is celery plain!”
Sorry, but I can’t eat celery without sugar. My grandfather, Salvatore, came over from Calabria in 1886 and started a celery farm in Lewiston Idaho, eventually becoming known as “The Celery King.” My dad and his 9 siblings helped harvest the celery, always with a tub of sugar on hand for snacking. I and my four brothers grew up thinking that everyone put sugar on their celery. If you haven’t tried it, I highly recommend it over plain.
I havavavavavavava (my keyboard’s gone nuts) sweet tooth, but never heard of sugar on celery!
I’ve had peanut butter on celery, which depending on the sort of PB could also be sweet.
I was just thinking… cheese is an awesome invention, Whoever invented cheese is a freaking genius, man.
“Blessed are the Cheesemakers”
– Monty Python, Life of Brian
Don’t forget to order food buckets for the coming apocalypse!
https://youtu.be/rOH37W0jPpA?t=2m30s
Jesus & Mo have a good take on this here.
Blasphemy and free speech aside, at what point, if any, does mockery of religion stop being satire and become simply rude? Or is satire by definition rude? Any thoughts?
I think satire is rudeness with a point. So it is never simply rude.
Jeez-its Christ – what a missed opportunity!