Who’s a good d*g?

March 15, 2015 • 3:22 pm

This comes from Matthew, so blame it on him. He found it in a tw**t by Brian D. Earp:

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Apropos, Terry Pratchett on d*gs (from Men at Arms):

“Dogs are not like cats, who amusingly tolerate humans only until someone comes up with a tin opener that can be operated with a paw. Men made dogs, they took wolves and gave them human things–unnecessary intelligence, names, a desire to belong, and a twitching inferiority complex. All dogs dream wolf dreams, and know they’re dreaming of biting their Maker. Every dog knows, deep in his heart, that he is a Bad Dog…”

 

24 thoughts on “Who’s a good d*g?”

  3. Yes, it’s time this issue was addressed:

    “The question of precisely who is a good boy is of fundamental importance to millions of Americans, many of whom pose this query to their loved ones several times a day,” said Marvin Sidowsky, an Atlanta-area veterinarian. “In fact, they may even find themselves asking it several times in quick succession while dangling a rawhide chew stick in the air. Clearly, it’s high time we had an answer.”

    1. I eschew rawhide, as it is derived from beef which I no longer eat. But if you dangle a piece of chicken marinaded in jerk sauce I will most definitely tell you that I am a very good boy. Yes I am. Yes. I. Am.

      1. Off topic, but I gave up beef about 15 years ago after discovering it gave my dog a rash. I also derived similar benefits. I am not a vegetarian.

    2. “Lebanon PA dog Sneakers, who is believed to be a very good boy.”

      I think the only Onion article I like as much as that one, is the story about the neighbor spying on the Montessori school.

      1. I prefer the story on this Montessori school.

        “When performing a root canal, there’s no such thing as right or wrong,” said Montessori educator Vanessa Perrin, who added that she doesn’t so much teach her students how to treat an inflamed nerve, as lead them to an open mouth and then stand back. “Sure, we could say to our students, ‘The enamel here has completely eroded and needs to be addressed immediately.’ But what’s more satisfying, what’s more dynamic, is to just let them slowly develop an ‘impression’ of why a patient might be screaming.”

        1. LOL @ the photo in the article!!!111!!! 😀

          I have some students who need to read this Onion article. Or maybe that’s a bad idea.

    3. Thanks for posting this! I was thinking of T.M. Scanlon, Thomas Nagel, John Rawls and the like. But there is a whole other level to it. How did I miss that? Where’s my chew toy …

  5. There is a good Far Side comic (I think it’s Far Side) with wolves looking at a dog around a campfire and declaring that they could no longer reach him because he had become “domesticated”.

    1. There are, of course, numerous dog cartoons done by the great Gary Larson. Dogs have many ludicrous traits that make great cartoon fodder.
      Dog to Leonardo DaVinci: ‘Where is my dinner? One of the Great Masters, indeed!’

  6. Sir Terry was known for his love for cats.
    One of his most beloved characters, Death, was a lover of cats himself. From “Sourcery”:
    ‘”I meant,” said Ipslore bitterly, “what is there in this world that makes living worthwhile?”
    Death thought about it.
    CATS, he said finally. CATS ARE NICE.’

    1. Sir Terry used his very own Russian Blue as the inspiration for Greebo.

      Damn, I miss the man so much!

  8. Had to come here to complain not about cats or dogs but a friend of mine.She needs a car and has less then 2000.00 to spend.She won’t get anything very good. Another friend they are both on facebook posted that God already has this worked out for her and something should happen soon. Why give false hope why don’t i say this to her on facebook i suppose because i actually know one of these people so i’m just in grrrr about the thing.Know the folks here will inderstand now if she gets a good car i will put a sock in it.

    1. God wants her to shop in the classifieds (not a dealer) for the best deal since that will be the most cost effective way to go.

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