Since my room at the W Hotel in Union Square wasn’t ready at 11:30, I had to cool my heels for over an hour. But that was just time to nip across the park to the Union Square Cafe, a New York institution, to try its vaunted menu. The place has received many gastronomic accolades.
I started off with a small appetizer: a quartet of Penn Cove oysters from Washington State. They were large and creamy, and although I tried both of the “sauces” (an apple cider sauce on the right and their house sauce on the left), I baptized the remaining to oysters only with a few drops of lemon juice. Oysters, at least raw ones, need no dressing save, perhaps, a squeeze of lemon. Anything else dilutes the pure taste of the sea that distinguishes this mollusc.
I spotted a bottle of Templeton Rye facing me as I ate at the bar. It almost put me off my feed. I’m told that a dram of this stuff makes you go all soft on religion:
My main course was a yellowfin tuna burger with ginger-mustard glaze, a grilled half of a red onion, and cabbage slaw. The waiter said the chef recommended the burger be cooked “medium rare,” and I told her I’d like it a little rarer than that. When it arrived, covered with pickled ginger, it turned out to be “medium”: not a trace of red in it. I pointed that out to the waiter, who was chagrined and said they’d make me another burger.
It arrived exactly the same: no red again. Sadly but politely, I pointed that out to the waiter, who again was very apologetic, agreed that it wasn’t cooked right, and said they’d make a third burger. In the meantime, the manager came out and apologized profusely, saying that the ground yellowfin had become “oxidized” and you couldn’t see the red (not a good sign). But, he said, they’d grind up some fresh yellowfin just for me and try again. This time the burger was on the money:
This is out of focus, as I was eating with one hand and snapping the photo with another, but you can see it’s almost rare in the middle. And it was very good.
When I got my bill, I discovered they had comped (American for “no charge”) me the $23 burger, so I paid almost nothing for my lunch. That was nice of them, but I can’t say that I’d rush to visit the Union Square Cafe again. The service was superb, but as I looked around at other people’s food, it didn’t strike me that this place was a Mecca for gastonomes.
Still, the lunch was creditable.
What about that espresso and key lime pie for dessert?
There is only one drink that goes with oysters – the most expensive Krug that you can afford. Failing that Bollinger will do!
I think anything goes with oysters. Though I agree.
Sometimes I like a splash of Tabasco on my oysters along with a little lemon.
Was that burger overpowered by the pickled ginger? That just seemed excessive to me…that stuff is strong.
I took half of it off and ate it on the side but, surprisingly, you could barely tell it was there, even on the burger.
There are regions of the country, radiating out from New Orleans, where the idea of eating oysters without tabasco sauce, or with anything but tabasco sauce, would cause people to faint dead away.
A bit of tabasco is fine, but I never did understand the idea of it being mandatory, or of drenching the oysters with it. My theory is that these regions are actually addicted to tabasco sauce, and should just drink it straight out of the bottle.
Aaaah, I am so, so sorry, Dr Coyne, that somehow there has been a misleading re Templeton Rye ‘nd (any) religion.
As godless as I am, there are sitting empty in my garage –- since my first swallow thereof some eons ago –- approximately four barrels’ worth of ( the highly recognizable ) TRye bottles.
One of these days I shall take atheist sons and our sphere o’ similarly wooless, imbibing friends a bit westerly ~75 miles to the Rye’s source of humble beginnings hauling in m’fire – engine red pick – ’em – up truck the same and trade them all back in there in Templeton, Iowa, for, if not a barrel’s stash o’ full ones, then at least perhaps one fifth’s worth.
And commence prehending all over again the only whiskey that slides so, so demonlessly right on down, three ounces nearly daily. This regimen, I have planned, as the one which medically ‘ll see me through till at the very least, the end of my 97th birthday. The World’s eldest twins, Belgian sisters @ 103 years together, prescribed thus to me which was quite recently backed up and confirmed on 60 Minutes’ “Oldest Old” – segment.
So far ? It soooo is … … working out !
Blue
“ … … to the Rye’s source of humble beginnings,” this honorable hooch’s fortuitously having not a dram thingy to do with that other devilish deal: the J Templeton F’tion.
I will even go so far as to recommend that it, the Good Stuff, be nominated as Dr Coyne’s website’s ™Official Nectar of the Godless.”
Blue
The whole time I was reading this, I kept thinking about this Monty Python skit.
Hilarious!
Superb all the way through but my fave bit:
“a vast bowl of pus”
I knew what it would be, and so it was. Very good skit.
The ginger-mustard glaze looks so good.
Restaurants which choose to have ground meat/fish on their menu need to face the challenges that kind of item will present. They should have thanked PCC verbally for doing unpaid quality control in addition to comping his bill.
Years ago I was with a class on a field trip to the Puerto Penasco area of Mexico, where much zoology and drinking was had by all. We were hiking across an estuary at low tide, looking for critters, when we came upon an oyster farmers’ shack. He came out and waved us over. After some negotiations he pulled out racks of live oysters, some pen knives, and a bottle of tequila. I do not know what came over us, but soon we were slamming down live, raw oysters followed by shots. It was not even noon yet.
By that evening we were all very sorry, sick, and generally unloading our GI tract from one or both ends. This provided an excellent lesson in how shellfish can concentrate dinoflagellate toxins. Ah, the value of an education.
This saga is so funny.funny.funny, Dr Sturtevant — yet NOT ! Allya’all coulda truly, truly hurt yourselves, not ?!
I mean I quite l.o.o.o.o.v.e. me some oodles and oceans’ amounts o’ oysters but, pawleeeze, — done up in a slew of ( soooo buttery, whole – milk and very ) boiled stew, thank you !
Blue
From Roy Blount’s One Fell Soup, his Song to Oysters:
I like to eat an uncooked oyster,
Nothing’s slicker, nothing’s moister,
Nothing’s easier on your gorge,
Or, when the time comes, to dischorge.
But not to let it too long rest
Within your mouth is always best.
For if your mind dwells on an oyster . . .
Nothing’s slicker. Nothing’s moister.
I prefer my oyster fried.
Then I’m sure my oyster’s died.
😉 What ever happened to Roy Blount, Jr.? Used to love his stuff.
You can still often hear him on Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me.
Not sure why I’m not a huge fan of oysters, though love mussels and clams. A Seattle friend took me to Chandler’s Crab House
a few years ago where we had Crab Rockefeller, which was absolutely to die for (probably literally so, with all the butter and cream).
http://www.schwartzbros.com/chandlers-crabhouse/
Can’t ever have too much ginger of any stripe.
I ate at the Carnegie Deli maybe 15 years ago with a local friend. I remember it as good, but not memorable.
Never mind…ignore Carnegie Deli comment🐮
Since the Deepwater Horizon oil spill Washington State has overtaken Louisiana as premier producer of oysters in the US. If anyone is ever in Seattle and likes oysters may I recommend The Walrus and the Carpenter.
The food was great and although they don’t take reservations you can give them your phone number and then go play games at Cafe Mox/Card Kingdom a couple blocks away while waiting. At least that’s what I did.
Taylor’s Shellfish, a Seattle-area seafood distributor, operates several excellent oyster bars around town, one in Pioneer Square a few blocks from my apartment and another next door to my workplace at Seattle Center. Very convenient.
It does seem a shame to go all the way to New York to enjoy Washington State oysters. Jerry should come out west and try them on their home turf!
I have had a coworker get some oysters from them for an office potlatch and they were quite tasty, although we had to break them open ourselves.
Maybe while on book tour for the Albatross Prof. Coyne can visit Seattle and have his local fans argue over where he should get his noms. 🙂
My opening bid: La Carta de Oaxaca for lunch.
I only had a donut for lunch well now it was a chocolate donut yum.
I’m sorry, but what with all of the bugs and parasites roaming around these days, I don’t eat ANYTHING unless it’s thoroughly cooked! I guess I’ll just have to miss out on some tastes.
I have an aversion to anything that tastes “fishy”, or that is slimy….so, you can keep your oysters and rare tuna. Funny thing, my older sister loved raw oysters.
Mmmmm, love sashimi and ceviche. Have had/made the latter with shrimp, scallops, and various fish, including recently caught trout.
Some sashimi and ceviche are not exactly raw, at least. They’ve been acidified, which should kill some stuff.
Shrimp ceviche? Are they cooked before hand? I’ve never seen a Japanese place that does raw shrimp.
Nope, the shrimp wasn’t cooked, just acidified in lime juice, plus chiles and onions, etc. I once had conch ceviche by the pool at my hotel in the Bahamas. I was the only gringo/a who would try it. It was wonderful!
Union Square Cafe is an overpriced tourist trap these days . Go to Xian Famous Foods- small, cheap, absolutely authentic Chinese Uigher food (noodles); the cumin lamb is the best.
Damn- you’re making my mouth water: uigher cumin lamb. I should be sated from Canuck Thanksgiving turkey yesterday ( and pumpkin cheesecake with pecan praline topping)🐷
Best sauce for raw oysters:
finely chopped up Scotch Bonnet peppers, good quality balsamic vinegar, minced raw onions and thyme, pimento seeds.
Even as little kids, my sibs and I were knocking those oysters back with this deadly hot sauce.