Several readers have called my attention to yet another case of a moggie caught trying to smuggle contraband into prison (the previous case, which I posted on before, was in Brazil). This time it’s in Russia, and, as the Torygraph reports:
But a feline intruder in Russia has been arrested as it tried to go the other way – and break into a penal colony.
The artful moggy was seized by guards after they noticed him “on the fence” of their prison in the northern Komi region with a suspicious package strapped to his stomach.
Closer inspection showed the cat – dubbed a “kot kontrabandist” by Russian media – was carrying two mobile telephones and two adaptors, clearly destined for inmates.
Authorities at Correctional Colony No. 1 in Verkhny Chov said the black and white courier had been “detained in the act of trying to deliver forbidden objects” after being intercepted on a 6pm patrol of the perimeter on Friday.
They said it was the first case of its kind at the institution, and the most ingenious attempt since someone try to smuggle a sim card and a phone into the colony inside an icon of the Virgin Mary.
Here’s the culprit (and his contraband):
Now I strenuously object to the cat’s treatment here. (It’s a lovely tuxedo cat, too!) You don’t hoist an adult cat by its scruff. And since the cat didn’t deliberately commit a crime, I hope they don’t punish it. Although, as an incompatibilist, I don’t think knowledge of right and wrong is a relevant issue for conviction or punishment, no societal purpose would be served by punishing the cat. It’s the owner who should be punished. (Do remember that they used to punish animals for hurting people. You may know the case of Mary, an Asian elephant who was brutally hanged in 1916 for killing her trainer. Is that supposed to deter other elephants? One could argue, I suppose, that man-killers like lions should be taken out of circulation, but the hanging smacked of retribution—a useless motivation for punishment—and there were better ways to deal with Mary.)
I’m also curious how the cat was supposed to find the right inmates who needed the phones.)
h/t: SGM, Michael
Use the right tool for the job. N’yeh sooey hooey’v t’chai (however that’s spelled in Cyrillic).
Ha – that’s rather a strange transliteration, but you’ve just told me not to stick my dick in the tea. However, the word “dick” does not do justice to the vulgarity conveyed by your choice of words.
“Huy” is one of four root words in Russian that come under the heading of “mat” – so-called unprintable language. There are only four roots, but they are used to generate hundreds, perhaps thousands, of derived words including just about every part of speech imaginable. In modern times this language has became officially “printable”, but is still shrouded in a taboo that really has no equivalent in English.
As for the phrase itself, I don’t know how common it is. I’m not a native speaker, but I asked one of my Russian friends and she said that she had never heard that exact expression, but had heard similar ones.
I would think that not sticking you dick in the tea is sound advice
That depends on the tea. Some I’ve tasted could only be improved….
Okay, I’ll get my coat…
Don’t forget your hat!
Edison once electrocuted an elephant just to descredit alternating current and to demonstrate the electric chair.
Yep, altho it seems that the elephant had been (seemingly pretty unfairly) condemned before Edison got involved.
Indeed.
I see they fed the elephant carrots laced with cyanide first, which may well have killed it anyway…
The elephant did, though, kill three people in three years. One could argue there was more justification for killing it than killing an old racehorse because it’s got too slow, or killing a cow because we want to eat it.
(But I do agree zapping it just to demonstrate electricity would be a crime).
Yes and he did this because he was stubborn against using AC power and wanted everyone to keep using DC so he created the AC electric chair as a means of propaganda to show how dangerous AC was. He electrocuted lots of domestic animals in the process as well. Because of his stubbornness, deceit in stealing from Tesla and his cruelty I think of Edison as a real jerk.
And I think you are absolutely right.
Me too
And don’t forget the Hartlepool monkey hanging (or maybe it was Boddam):
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/tees/7827332.stm
Well, if you let the cat loose he/she would no doubt find its designated host, unless the cell phones were smuggled in as a serenditious gift.
Aww poor elephant. Now I feel sad.
Maybe it was the recipient’s responsibility to find kitty and recover the loot. Kitty’s job was just to wander around he area. Poor kitty, it was probably painful to have that tape pulled off.
I’m guessing that “finders keepers” doesn’t apply in prison. Whoever those phones were meant for probably knew they were coming and was prepared to take them by force from whoever found them.
The thing is, isnt it, that the cat knew where it was going, or whom it was going to meet, no? What cat in its right mind has nothing better to do than climb into a Gulag unless it was brought up there???? There would be a reward at the end? Cats are far more difficult to train than dogs. Was it a guard’s cat?
If the guards had been smart, they’d tail the cat to get to the culprits.
And give the cat some treats as a reward for helping out.
Well, it were cell phones – any cell would do.
[… I’m taking my coat by the scruff and let myself out.]
They were.
Is “I’ll get my coat…” a Swedish meme too? I assumed it reached meme status with The Fast Show around the mid-90s [aka Brilliant in the US]
TL is better with American vernacular than many Americans are. Especially at cracking jokes with it.
In Soviet Russia, you find cat.
If I’d been that guard, I’d waited until the telephones had reached their destination (after noting their SIM ID). Then ring them, middle of the night.
Reblogged this on Mark Solock Blog.
Speaking of elephants, a few days ago I was in Chiang Mai in the north of Thailand and the group of friends I was with decided to go elephant riding.
I had decided not to ride as I have read that elephants are one of the few animals that recognize themselves in a mirror.
To me this indicates the possibility of self awareness and just as I wouldn’t like to have to carry heavy objects around all day I thought I wouldnt do the same to them.
When we arrived I saw that the chairs that are used to carry people are held on with thick ropes that pass under the stomach just behind the front legs and they looked
extremely tight and uncomfortable.
I was wondering if anyone here thought my preposition for not riding them valid.
One thing I did enjoy was having a one year old elephant come up and take bananas from my hand. Their trunks are amazingly dexterous and it would grab the banana near the tip of its trunk, curl it tightly to hold the banana and then put it in its mouth.
I also managed to get close to a nine day old baby. As we were watching, a dog walked up behind me and the mother charged it making this almighty bellow.
You should have seen me jump, and how fast the dog ran away.
I’d avoid exploiting elephants on the grounds that most are brutally trained.
Such extraordinary animals! I’m rather envious of your close experiences with them. They are indeed one of the zoo animals that cause one to wonder just who is watching whom.
I had that moment once at a zoo at feeding time. Zookeeper with a wheelbarrow full of raw meat stopped at the Kodiak bear enclosure where I was observing them…the bears looked at me like food – the first time I had ever felt “hunted” even though I knew I was safe. It was so primal – my entire spine tingled and I got goosebumps. There was zero doubt that had they the access I would have been killed.
Of your spine is in need of tingling, this is a good time to head to Alaska, the bears., fresh out of hibernation, are in a killing mood!
LOL..no thank you! I respect top predators. Yes, they are fascinating. No, I don’t want to cross paths with one. I’m no Timothy Treadwell. Anyway, hubs was born and raised in Alaska and said moose are far more dangerous. Grumpy old farts.
I worked up there once, perhaps Moose are grumpy in Anchorage where folks keep shoeing them out of their gardens. They seemed placid around Fairbanks and many places of the interior where I saw them. Bears were what we were told to be careful of, so the Inuit with whom I worked said. There was one bar tender I met, at a joint on the Alaskan Range pass from Tok to Anchorage, who had been scalped by a Grizzly! Not a prett sight!
Coincidentally…
http://www.adn.com/2013/06/07/2931027/troopers-fairbanks-man-dead-in.html
I haz sad. I did not know about Mary. I shouldn’t have clicked that link, but I did. I have always had a very soft spot for elephants. I think it started with Dumbo – that scene where the mom was in solitary confinement and she was finally able to hold her baby through the small barred window… ALL animal cruelty bothers me profoundly, but it takes a certain level of coldness to inflict such brutality on incredibly intelligent and emotional beings.