If only furniture came like this. . .

February 5, 2013 • 1:52 pm

There are five finalists in the Catdance Film Festival, run by Fresh Step Cat Litter, which offers a $10,000 prize for the winner. Go here to see them all and vote for your favorite.

This one, called “Catalogue,” is created by Alana Grelyak and directed by Michael Gabriele. I don’t have time to watch the other four, but weigh in below with your favorite.

The YouTube description:

Miriam and Ken order a bedroom set for their new home and it arrives exactly as advertised, which ends up being more than they were hoping for. “Catalogue” was inspired by Rocky the cat, who’s chameleon-like ability to blend into the sheets coupled with his love for napping made us wonder what would happen if he’d been delivered with someone’s new bed. He’s a screen veteran and has appeared in several other short films in his thirteen-year career, but has never matched the sheets better than he does in “Catalogue.” Click here to cast your vote for this video in our Catdance Viewer’s Choice contest: http://frsh.stp.io/sltiHw

I am at Clemson, after having spent four hours making a two-hour drive from Augusta. The delay: a GPS that sent me all over creation. It finally directed me into a truck lot, at which point I made some phone calls and had a human direct me (thanks, Pradeep!). I thought those things were reliable.

I never want to hear the word “recalibrating” again.

h/t: Tim

20 thoughts on “If only furniture came like this. . .”

  1. Jerry, ours says “calculating”. You can almost hear the unexpressed sigh behind it.

  2. “…all over creation”?

    Remember Ray Comfort’s (Kirk Caneron’s pal) killer argument for the existence of God? Something like: “There can’t be a creation without a creator. QED”

    1. That accounts for the delay: Jerry must have accidentally gotten the Creationist version of the GPS. Instead of using satellites and coordinates, this system navigates according to baraminological “kinds.”

      1. Damned god christian GPS thinks faith is the only thing worth searching for and all roads lead to faith; all damned god roads go to the same place. Oh look, says the christian GPS, there’s a road let us lead you there.

  3. I watched all five of them and without even looking at them all you picked the one I would vote for, Catalogue, except that I didn’t vote because the voting system seems to only allow Facebookers.

  5. Truck lot, eh?
    Sounds like some lost Plantagenet king buried underneath…

    As for GPS, you had more fun than you ought to, according to French naturalist and Sahara explorer Théodore Monod (1902-2000; btw, a distant relative of Jacques Monod), whose standard joke in later years was:

    “In the old days, we used to have just a compass, now everybdy’s got GPS. All the fun is gone, one cannot get cast adrift anymore.”

    1. That quote by Monod is totally incorrect. From the innocent tourist who hired a rental car in Christchurch NZ, set the GPS for ‘Nelson’, unaware that the previous hirer had left it set on ‘shortest route’ which is over the Hanmer-St Arnaud ‘Hydro Road’ which is a 4-WD track; to the drivers of monster ten-foot-wide camions who get stuck in English villages with eight-foot-wide main streets; to the German driver who faithfully followed his GPS and drove into a river; to the Welsh lass who was following a track on GPS, drove through a gate, stopped to open the next gate just ten feet away and didn’t notice the rail lines in between until a train came along and removed her car; all these people have found the world of GPS a new and exciting experience.

      (Most of these are faithfully documented on The Register, a British site dedicated to things techno-geeky, along with other mechanised mishaps. Search under ‘Rise of the Machines’).

  7. I read too many accounts of GPS sending people to someplace they don’t want to be. Give me a good, old-fashioned road map, thankyouverymuch.

    [Do they even publish road maps anymore?]

  8. Having spent a year in Augusta, I want to offer my condolences that life took you there at all.

  9. “The delay: a GPS that sent me all over creation.”

    Another labor-saving device strikes again.

    Otherwise, have you gotten many secret words?

  11. “Catalogue” would have been my favorite if it wasn’t for that moment where the girl starts hoovering their cat. With a bloddy vacuum cleaner! Am not looking forward to news about copycats…

    “A Cat’s Guide To Caring For Humans” wins. “Rocky” is also very nice.

    1. The cat didn’t seem to mind it too much. The sensation could feel a bit like stroking, maybe.

    2. Most of the cats I have dealt with have been afraid of the vacuum cleaner noise, but I had one, years ago, who enjoyed being vacuumed. It does happen.

    1. My feelings exactly. There’s something irresistible about a *good* map (by which I mean, one with plenty of detail, that’s been drawn with a feel for the line widths and shading and text placing and the appearance of the thing – something, by the way, that the algorithms used for on-line maps never manage to get right).

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