65 thoughts on “Hurricane Sandy? No worries, folks!

    1. But I can only imagine how many people are followers! I think you can make a case that this phenomenon is a true sign of the apocalypse. Never has there been such an efficient way for exceedingly stupid people to reach out to (and influence!) each other. Kim Kardashian as the anti-Christ?

  1. So…your brain hurts from the workshop and you want us all to share your pain, so you’re inflicting a twit’s twit upon us?

    Not fair! Now my brain hurts, too!

    b&

    1. Ben’s take is correct, and no, I am not a follower of LL (normally I wouldn’t deign to respond to that nefarious accusation).

    2. Looks like our host believes that misery shared is misery halved. Either that or he just wanted company in his misery.

      Pedantically speaking, that was a twit’s tweet.

  2. I don’t care who actually posted that, it’s a hurricane! It’s dangerous. I’ve been through a direct hit and that’s damned frightening.

    1. But if everyone stops projecting negativity at the hurricane, it will lose all strength and just fade away in a swath of rainbows. It’s just that if even one person fails to be positive, then that cancels out everyone else’s efforts.

      Wishful thinking at its finest. Look where it’s gotten her so far.

  3. There is nothing “natural” about Lohan. Not even remotely. She does so many substances, you’ll never get a single lucid comment from her.

    1. Of course we are at war with these intrusive and disruptive storms. We are at war with the damnable climate and the goofy scientists that make up these storms. So just pray for peace, if you don’t know how, take 2 Xanax 4 Oxys followed by 2 shots of Tequila and bend your head toward the porcelain god and beg Ceiling Cat for an end to the Lohan’s of the world.

      1. How fabtastically southern USA of you, Miss Texas Kitty, or can I call you erm… Mistek for short? Over here in the UK, we’d just order 9 brown ‘n’ milds and get completely bladdered, as the Auld Empire crumbles beneath our wambling feet. How I sometimes envy you Amer’cuns and your epic land.

    2. No but we are able to influence the hurricane by writing messages for it on the plywood we screw to our houses (if we live on the US Eastern seaboard at least, it seems). The hurrican can see and read English.

  4. Seriously, I hope you’re all OK on the eastern seaboard; this is all very stiff upper lip – an American coinage, apparently.

    Cheers.

  5. It is easy to feel safe when you are not in the area of influence of a hurricane.
    And it is a pity that those half a hundred DEAD were not positive enough and did not pray for PEACE???

  6. People like this should have their mouths taped shut. Chincotesgue Island is now under water and the storm hasn’t even merged with that cold front yet.

      1. Ooh, my thoughts for your region. I’m from Mass but I think the ponies may be okay, auctioneers (sadly) force them to swim every year if I remember right. Plus it’s only 3 feet of water right now. I hope everyone, human and critter, survives the night.

          1. Yep, of course. But I’m sure it’s not the first severe storm the wildlife have seen there. There’s a good chance many of the ponies will make it.

        1. *Snort good one, Wheatgrass.

          By the way it was my crappy typing not the predictive text but my temper dictates I blame the keypad. Get it? Unless Chinotesgue is a real word…….

          1. Unless Chinotesgue is a real word…….

            It actually is. It’s the Pima word for…well, actually, I’m afraid Jerry would get rather upset if I told you what it means….

            b&

  7. I like how she combines New Age/ New Thought prattle with a more conventional call for prayer. You can always fit one form of nonsense with another. Progress in spirituality. So empowering.

  8. Further cluelessness, overheard yesterday @ a Home Depot in Pittsburgh: A guy buying a portable generator wanted help with the delivery… to his second floor apartment!

  9. The U.S. is getting pummeled by this massive storm (which is sweeping through New York City, that den of iniquity, by the way) because of our continued refusal to stone to death all homosexuals and apostates, and also because Barack Obama hasn’t just gone ahead and conceded the election to Mittens! Prayze Jeebus!

      1. Ben,

        There’s an interpretation of the fall of Troy that Poseidon done for ’em, Can’t remember the exact story, but not only was he the god of the seas but also that he was Theo of earthquakes: the walls fell because of a quake; ergo, the Greek myth is a fictional reinterpretation of a natural disaster. Wooden horse = the white horses of huge waves – geddit? Though whether the metaphor is 3,200 years old, I don’t know.

        Prof. Eric Cline, I think, is the go-to man on this story.

        1. See? That’s what so great about the old gods.

          They had character.

          They had substance.

          They had spirit.

          These new gods? Bah! Not even fit to empty Aphrodite’s chamber pot. Ground of all being? More like ground of all round.

          Cheers,

          b&

  10. I live in Florida now, but my heart stays in MD. Yes, the Chincoteague ponies are a tough breed; just had to ask. True, the herd is culled yearly; the auction traditionally benefits the Fire Department. A secondary benefit is to the ponies; Assateague can support only so many; food is provided when needed (in a draught, for instance); vets check the herd, too. This all costs money. The ponies swim over, with supervision. It’s not a perfect world.

  11. Nothing to worry about- Romney’s got this. He’s suspending his campaign to deliver aid: “Mitt Romney’s campaign will use a campaign bus to help deliver supplies to those affected by Hurricane Sandy, Breitbart.com reported.”

    1. Wow. That’s like, almost as effective as his proposal for funding student expenses for higher education.

      A whole campaign bus full of supplies! That’ll do just so much good.

      Except…is there any room in there, what with all the binders full of women? Might have to make an extra trip.

      b&

    2. Have just heard on NPR Romney say, ” . . . hopefully your [rally attendees’] prayers will join with mine . . . .” [on behalf of those USians who are affected by the storm – as if no one has been affected by the storm prior to U.S. landfall].

      Re: Dawkins’s comment about Pope John Paul II’s comment to the effect the Lady of Fatima (?) guided the bullet to a less critical area of the Pope’s body; why not cause it to entirely miss? So with the hurricane and prayer.

      Has some prominent conservative religious bloviator already held forth for public consumption that the hurricane is some sort of punishment/retribution for the U.S.?

    3. Don’t worry.

      One of the things Mittens has promised to do is cut funding to FEMA and pass its job on to the so much better prepared state and local governments, which will insure that we don’t get another disaster like this again.

  12. How many people are going to die because they weren’t paying attention in their science classes? Generators produce CO which produces sleepiness and death.

    1. I admit, I really had no clue who she was aside from being one of those endless supply of young women famous for having made a sex tape while being famous (or whatever it is that she’s famous for).

      I just did a Google Images search for her…and meh. Too plastic. Something tells me she’s not very attractive without her mask on, and not very pleasant to actually be around.

      Truly beautiful women are still gorgeous when they get out of bed in the morning. I very much doubt that that applies in this case.

      b&

  13. Beachscriber, cyclone waves are very messy. Hope you’re a strong swimmer. Might want to wear a life jacket.

  14. I gather that Ms. Lohan has recently arrived at the point that she has such firm control over the at arm’s-length circumstances of her own life that she is now positioned to competently hold forth on planetary events.

    1. I’m just amazed that she’s gained sufficient levels of realization that she understands that things can occur outside of her direct line of sight.

  15. Lindsey makes me so mad! These type of storms are caused by people not eating enough Jesus Christ. Praying only works if the quota of Jesus Christ eating has been met.

    1. I had bacon for breakfast this morning. Does that count?

      It was rather good bacon, too — overpriced cherrywood-smoked uncured bacon from Whole Paycheck.

      If not, I’m sure I could find some cheesy crisps at the local stop-and-rob, though I don’t like those things. Would it really make a difference?

      b&

      1. Must of had some Jesus Crispy Christ residue remaining on the cutting blades, yes, it seems to be helping a bit.

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