I don’t have anything against capitalism, though I like some socialism mixed in with it, but, by god, this invention is capitalism gone awry. It’s reported by Wired UK, and you can see it by clicking on the screenshot:

An excerpt:

We all appreciate the little things in life, and that includes spending five minutes on the toilet scrawling through Twitter on company time. But those days may be at risk with the StandardToilet, a seat that claims to drastically reduce toilet time.

Approved by the British Toilet Association (BTA), a members organisation that campaigns for better toilet facilities, the StandardToilet sits at a downward angle of 13 degrees. After around five minutes of sitting, this will cause strain on the legs, similar to a low level squat thrust, but “not enough to cause health issues,” reassures Mahabir Gill, founder of StandardToilet. “Anything higher than that would cause wider problems. Thirteen degrees is not too inconvenient, but you’d soon want to get off the seat quite quickly.”

It was inspired by a series of annoyances. As a consulting engineer for 40 years, Gill sometimes discover workers asleep on the toilet, and in his free time, was increasingly annoyed by queues for public toilets. The final straw came while he was shopping in a department store the morning after a particularly heavy night out, and in desperate need for a toilet, could only find locked cubicles. Thus, the idea for the StandardToilet was born.

Here, as shown by CBS News, is the nefarious new invention: the sloping toilet (the “StandardToilet” label is the company that makes it). To wit:

Well, by god, this is too damn much! There is something petty and nasty about installing sloping toilets so that your workers get uncomfortable after five minutes on the throne. But of course the company has a “good” reason:

However, the toilet isn’t entirely about curtailing bathroom breaks. The 13% downward slope of the toilet has health benefits, the company told CBS MoneyWatch. In its email, the company said the design “helps in reduction of risk in swollen hemorrhoids.”

What an altruistic reason: the company is concerned with its employees’ hemorrhoids!

If you’re going to go this route, why not just install an ejecting toilet seat that flings the user off after five minutes, and warn them of that? (If you want to be helpful, provide a timer.) After all, some people can endure leg pain better than others and will be prone to stay on the throne.