Today we have a special feature: a word-and-text account of ecologist Susan Harrison‘s recent mental adventures after (legally) ingesting psilocybin. Her text is indented, and you can click on the pictures to enlarge them.
My Psilocybin Journey
In a recent Reader’s Wildlife post, I mentioned that the photos were taken just after a legal psychedelic trip in Oregon, which had intensified – among many other things — my appreciation for seeing and sharing natural beauty. Some readers were curious enough to want to know more, and so with Jerry’s support I’ve written a longer account.
Photos 2-8 are from the Instagram account of Satya Therapeutics, the psilocybin provider with whom I worked, and are used here with permission.
The history
For me it all began with reading the book below, in which Michael Pollan recounts how the two leading psychedelic substances – LSD (a synthetic product) and psilocybin (found in Psilocybe cubensis mushrooms)– were researched extensively in the 1950s and early 1960s. Both showed great promise in the treatment of PTSD, addiction, depression, and anxiety, but as the hippie era took hold, they were abruptly banned as menaces to the social order. Pollan also describes what is now known about the science of psychedelics, the cautious modern resurgence of psychedelic-assisted therapy, and his own experiences. My reaction to his well-written book was “Why would anyone NOT want to do this?”
The book:
The science
The current working view is that psilocybin and LSD bind to serotonin receptors in a brain structure called the default mode network (or just default network) and interrupt its regular pulsating messages to the rest of the brain. The default network is associated with the ego, i.e., the sense of one’s unique identity and history. It’s also associated with the excessive rumination that leads to unhappiness. When the default network is quieted, the rest of the mind comes out to play – emotions, memory, sensory processing, and imagination operate more freely, as different brain areas talk to one another. These new neuronal connections may persist and may enable people to make positive life changes. Psychedelics research is quite active; as an example, here is a cancer-related study in which a relative of mine was just invited to participate.
The theory, per an industry seminar:
The business
Where it’s legal, psilocybin can be used only on the premises and under the supervision of a licensed provider. In Oregon, a few dozen such providers have been operating since June 2023, and in Colorado the industry is still emerging. Thousands of clients with serious issues such as drug abuse have come to Oregon for psilocybin-assisted therapy. Still, this new industry is not doing extremely well, because it’s expensive and there is a competing ‘gray market’ in illegal but decriminalized mushrooms. (Also, some communities in Oregon are scared of it.) A licensed provider must offer each client many hours of pre-trip preparation, during-trip supervision, and post-trip ‘integration’, all of which help to make the legal therapy safe and effective, but also make it costly — typically $1,000 to $1,500 for one journey.
Clients begin by contacting a provider and then choosing a facilitator. I was very fortunate to find Satya Therapeutics and work with its co-owner Andreas Met as my facilitator. He’s extremely smart, empathetic, and more secular in worldview than many in this business — as he put it, his approach is “cognitive, not neoshamanistic.” He’s also a leader in the industry and an expert at mushroom cultivation and processing.
Andreas with his wife Jennifer and their product, which they sell to other providers:
Mushroom processing and quality control:
My experience
Over my several-week preparation period, Andreas got me meditating and journaling, which help develop one’s ‘intentions for the journey,’ in the parlance. My intention was to get to know my subconscious better, and I found myself examining some lifelong recurring dreams, for example. We talked about these personal issues and also about how the journey might go, including what to do if it became scary. We decided on a dosing strategy of 15 mg followed by another 15 mg after an hour, which is in the typical range. For music, we chose the seven-hour “Psychedelic Playlist – Overtone-based Music” created by Johns Hopkins psychedelics researchers. (It is a wonderful playlist, and why didn’t I know about Henryk Gorecki’s ‘Symphony of Sorrowful Songs’ before??)
On the day, I showed up at 9 am with my stuffed cat, signed a large pile of legal paperwork, and was ushered to a converted office with a futon and chair and many pillows. The psilocybin arrived as a powder in a vial accompanied by a cup of tea with lemon and honey. A half-hour after mixing and drinking my tea, I noticed that the cat (formerly Stuffed Boris, but now known as Spirit Cat) was breathing and his eyes and fur were glowing, and so we were off on our adventure. Andreas sat quietly present for the next 7 hours, waiting to help if needed.
Treatment room:
Tea tray:
Spirit Cat:
The progression of phases in my journey was typical. One early phase was a visit to childhood memories and emotions, some of them sad, ultimately leading to deep feelings of catharsis and understanding. Later came an unpleasant “stuck” phase that I’d been warned about; desiring to feel transcendence, I instead struggled with garish Day of the Dead visual imagery and the conviction that I was having a mere commercialized experience that proved my unworthiness. After realizing the need to let expectations go, there then came the “peak” phase, with a flying feeling and glorious imagery and inexpressibly beautiful realizations coming one after another. What I would say now is that some of what was already in my mind as being meaningful– birdwatching, teaching, laughter, for example – was revealed as being divine, or at least as divine as anything else that exists. Finally, there was a long and enjoyable coming-down phase full of grateful thoughts, and of delightedly watching the (nonexistent) movement in the pictures on the wall. Throughout the seven hours, I didn’t talk much nor require intervention. While I did achieve the liberating feeling of being a mere speck in the universe, I still knew who and where I was, a sign that this trip didn’t go as far as full dissolution of the ego.
One childhood memory was of beloved cat Seymour, who died when I was seven:
The modern avatar of long-ago Seymour, a.k.a. my beloved Boris:
The few weeks after a psychedelic journey are said to be a key time for integrating new insights while neuroplasticity remains heightened. I’ve tried to keep meditating, journaling, taking walks, and cultivating greater openness and not-overthinking. And I’m going to do it again…!
Me post-journey:
Evolutionary Coda
Why does a mushroom make a chemical that alters human minds? Some neoshamanists might say that the fungi offer us their gift to unite humanity and save the Earth. However, a recent genomic study concluded that psilocybin production is considerably older than Homo sapiens — in fact, about as old as primates — and has evolved repeatedly. While its natural function remains untested, the authors of the genomic study propose the Gastropod Hypothesis, speculating based upon its timing that it evolved to deter slugs from eating Psilocybe cubensis.
