Goodbye Vegas, hello Utah

October 28, 2024 • 8:45 am

I’ve finally left the entrance to Hell, otherwise known as Las Vegas. Thank goodness the conference was there to provide respite from the noisy, jangling streets, filled with tattooed people swilling margaritas. But of course all I know of Vegas is the Strip, and I’m told there are parts of the city that resemble real urbanity.  So be it.

A few photos and a video from my stay:

The Bacchanal Buffet at Caesar’s Palace. For a mere $85 you get 90 minutes to stuff your gut with as much food as you can. And it’s good food, by and large, so I’d say the buffet is worth it. Given how fast i.5 hours pass, I didn’t have the time to photograph much of the food. This is the beginning of the carving station (the buffet is HUGE). The lamb t-bones, at lower right, are small cuts of lamb that were absolutely terrific (Mike Chen recommended them on his Bacchanal Buffet video).

Below: the beginning of the seafood station. My buffet strategy was to first eat crustaceans and oysters (crab claws, snow crab legs, oysters Rockefeller), and then head for the meats (prime rib and lamb), have an elote (Mexican ear of corn), and then fill in the remaining gastric corners with desserts. I believe I got my money’s worth. Here’s a man grabbing crab.

If you go (and you have to go to a buffet in Vegas), I’d recommend this one, but watch a few videos on YouTube about the offerings, which will help you plan your buffet strategy. 90 minutes go by awfully quick!

Caesar’s Palace is the height of kitsch, decorated with Greek and Roman statuses throughout. Here’s one with a statue next to an ATM:

Back the the Horseshoe, feeling like a python that’s ingested a small antelope.  These are scenes from the casino floor at the Horseshoe, where we were staying and the site of CSICon.

Slot machines are everywhere, and they are no longer one-armed bandits, but are designed to appeal to the video-game generation. They are loud and big, liable to set off epileptic fits in those susceptible to their flashing lights. Plus you’re allowed to smoke on the casino floor, so it doesn’t smell all that great.

The lacunae between machines are filled with craps, roulette, or blackjack tables. Here’s a craps table for betting on dice:

Lots of action around the tables:

I found a cat-themed slot machine called “Karma Kat”!

. . . and here is a short video I took of what it’s like on the casino floor. Even when it’s not busy, as below, it’s noisy. Look at all those slots!

My friend Phil Ward, an entomologist at UC Davis, picked me up at noon for the two-hour drive to his shared house in Ivins, Utah, near St. George. We went through a bit of Arizona and then entered Utah, where I’m staying for the next three days, planning trips to the National Parks like Bryce and Zion—places I’ve never been.

First, though, we passed through an Indian reservation (“Native American” reservation?), housing what is formally known as the Shivwits Band of Paiutes, who settled in the area around 1100 B.C. and were hunter-gatherers but also cultivated crops. The only members of the tribe I saw were at the gas station/convenience store, whose sign is below.

It immediately struck me that “Shivwits” sounds like a Jewish name, and it went through my head that this might be one of the lost tribes of Israel that settled in Utah. (Remember, Mormons believed that Jesus came to America.) And then a joke went through my head if that scenario were true: A Shivwitz male could say, “I am a Man of Shivwitz.” Get it? Of course I mean no disrespect to the tribe; it’s just wordplay.

Gas was about as cheap as I’ve ever seen here: about 3 bucks a gallon (I believe things sold on Native American reservations are exempt from tax), so we filled up for the trip to Zion today. Proof:

Ivins is small and inconspiculous, with houses built only one story high and deigned to blend into the mountain scenery. It is beautiful here. Below is the view from my bedroom window (the house belongs to four people: Phil and three of his friends):

Today we head for Zion National Park, a place I’ve always wanted to visit because of its geological beauty. I’m bringing my decent point-and-shoot Panasonic Camera and will post pictures. Here’s one from the Wikipedia site, labeled “Zion Canyon at sunset in Zion National Park as seen from Angels Landing looking south.”

Diliff, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons

30 thoughts on “Goodbye Vegas, hello Utah”

  2. Wow! I hope you’ll have a fabulous time! Zion NP is in my top 3 (most beautiful NPs I’ve visited), and it’s a good time to visit because I’m guessing it’s less crowded in late October. If you’re OK with heights, I recommend going up Angels Landing. If you’re OK with water and/or cold temps, I recommend the Narrows. I believe nowadays you’d need a permit for either.
    Also, Snow Canyon north of St. George boasts gorgeous scenery without the tourists.

    1. A big Yes! to Angels Landing. It remains one of my more memorable hikes, and has a beautiful view from the top.

    2. I agree that Zion is one of the most concentrated landscapes of beauty that I’ve ever seen, though as noted below there are often too many people there. I would also recommend the hike up to Angels Landing, although it is quite a slog up Walter’s Wiggles, and not for anyone faintly acrophobic.

      Seeing the casino reference to “epileptic fit” made me think of this line from Tom Waits’s song about ancient Rome, “In the Colosseum”:

      “It’s always much more sporting when there’s families in the pit,
      And the madness of the crowd is in an epileptic fit”

      Not a bad description of the Las Vegas strip in general.

  3. I am surprised that they allow photography and especially videography on the casino floor. It all looks awful!

    I WOULD like to dine on the Bachanal but 90 minutes seems too rushed to really enjoy. Wonder if you can sign up for back to back 90minute slots and have a more reasonable three hours to graze and chat with your party @ $170?

    Looks like Utah NP’s and environs are gorgeous. You are certainly not in Chicago anymore, Dorothy!

    1. I wonder what Sinatra, Sammy Davis, or Dino would say on stage about the … attire ’round the floor….

      1. Bill Maher once did a routine about ads for casinos showing sophisticated couples with the men in tuxedos. “A tuxedo? You’re lucky if the guy next to you remembered to put in his teeth. There’s a word for people who wear tuxedos in a casino: magicians.”

  4. Southern Utah is soooo gorgeous. We used to rent a house from a friend in Moab, but sadly it burned down in a wildfire a few years ago. Miss red-rock country!

  5. Woah – that got magnificent real quick!

    A plateau photobomb!… or whatever the plateau feature is… ohhh, I wish I could just jump into my tiny screen and be there for just a bit…

  6. In May of this year I toured 5 of the Utah national parks (and Goblin Valley State Park). Zion, while beautiful, was not my favorite. It was too crowded and felt like Disney World. However, the Zion camp sites are very good. Bryce and Arches were my favorites.

  7. That joke about the Shivwits reminds me of the Indian tribe from the TV show F Troop, the Hekawi. They supposedly got their name after they got lost, fell off a cliff, and asked “Where the heck are we?” Supposedly, the original name was supposed to be Fugawi, but that didn’t fly. In the show many of the Hekawi were played by Jewish comedians.

    1. Thanks for the F Troop memories!

      I think Chief Urulu in McHales Navy and the Indian Chief in Blazing Saddles also spoke Yiddish from time to time….Luz em gay!

    2. According to Johnny Carson (and he apparently told this joke repeatedly on air before the network caught on), the Fugawi were a tribe of diminutive wandering Africans who lived in an immense grassland, the grass growing well above their heads. Every now and again in their wanderings, they’d come across a tree; one of them would climb it and the rest would ask him “Where the Fugawi?”

  9. Kinda interesting that the buffets in Las Vegas cost that much today. They used to be dirt cheap. Probably represents the transition from gambling mecca to family-oriented destination.

    1. That surprised me also. I remember them to be great value. Really cheap.

      I almost never do buffets – I always feel ripped off b/c I’m never able to eat a lot at one sitting. I’m a skinny guy but I admire folks who can eat the value of their money there.

      D.A.
      NYC

      1. Was talking about prices in LV a couple weeks ago. I think they’ve done such a good job of making it a general entertainment destination, as opposed to a gambling mecca, that a lot of folks don’t gamble.

  10. “Shivwitz” almost sounds like a portmanteau connoting a steamroom with a bunch of Jewish guys telling each other jokes!

  11. The geology through the area is amazing, and I remember camping thru the area many years ago before we started to produce kids. Here is an educational link:
    https://www.nps.gov/zion/learn/nature/geology.htm. The main formation in the middle of the series is Navajo sandstone, which are layers of ancient sand dunes from the Jurassic. On the cliff faces you can often make out the crests and hills of dunes now long gone.

  13. If you loved Zion — wait until you see Bryce and Arches. Bryce is otherworldly. And Capital Reef is superb for night-sky viewing. BTW — I always thought they prohibit taking pics in Vegas casinos :). The actual pics often don’t make them look as classy as they seem in the ads.

  14. One of the advantages of some red-state flyover country is gas at less than $2.60 a gallon. A recent trip through Illinois had me cursing myself for forgetting to fill up the tank before entering my (former) home state.

  16. All of the National Parks in Utah are spectacular. My children took their first steps in Zion NP (son) or Bryce Canyon NP (daughter). Cedar Breaks has spectacular views and a good campground. It sits on the edge of a high forested plateau. It is high enough that there is often snow on the ground by now. There is a ski area nearby. Canyonlands NP contains three different and distinct districts and they all have to be accessed by different routes. The Maze is west of the Colorado and Green Rivers. It is the least accessed part of the Park. The Island in the Sky is well described by its name. Much of it lies between the Colorado and Green Rivers. The Needles District is the southern district of CNP. All are worth multiple visits. Capital Reef is one of my favorites. I can see Arches NP from my home. They all have incredible scenery and incredible hikes of varying difficulty.

  18. I like the typo “decorated with Greek and Roman statuses.” Mind you that statue is a replica of one that is neither Greek nor Roman, but Florentine.

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