Jesus ‘n’ Mo ‘n’ Cosmic Schmucks

November 29, 2023 • 9:00 am

Here’s today’s Jesus and Mo strip, appropriately titled “Schmuck” (“jerk” in Yiddish, but can also mean “penis”), came with this note:

Ladies and gentlemen, the Cosmic Schmuck Principle at Overweening Generalist.

And here’s the Cosmic Schmuck Principle at

The Cosmic Schmuck Principle holds that if you don’t wake up, once a month at least, and realize you have recently been acting like a Cosmic Schmuck again, then you will probably go on acting like a Cosmic Schmuck forever; but if you do, occasionally, recognize your Cosmic Schmuckiness, you might begin to become a little less Schmucky than the general human average at this primitive stage of terrestrial evolution. – p. 21, Natural Law: Or Don’t Put A Rubber On Your Willy

This jibes with a similar principle that I came up with myself.  There are actually two:

Coyne’s Principle of Life #1

Nobody thinks they’re a jerk
But there are plenty of jerks in the world
Ergo, plenty of people lack all self-awareness.

I added this one later:

Coyne’s Principle of Life #2

Everbody thinks they have a good sense of humor
Plenty of people don’t have a good sense of humor
Therefore, plenty of people are fooling themselves.

15 thoughts on “Jesus ‘n’ Mo ‘n’ Cosmic Schmucks”

  3. “Coyne’s Principle of Life #2

    Everbody thinks they have a good sense of humor
    Plenty of people don’t have a good sense of humor
    Therefore, plenty of people are fooling themselves.”

    And that is no laughing matter.

  4. Off topic, but having to identify myself to log in – I am logged in on WordPress. I updated my phone iOS yesterday and it has reset a bunch of things on both phone and laptop. Go figure. So might be related to that. I’ll see how long this takes to post!

  5. I “self-identified” as a jerk in the Costco parking lot over the weekend. But is that enough to make me a true schmuck?

  7. Principle of Life #3
    I may be a bit of a schmuck from time to time, but those people over there are schmucks all of the time.

    See also the Dunning–Kruger effect.

  8. Coyne’s Principle #2 is supported by experiment. Sense of humor was one of the categories in the original Dunning-Krueger study.

  9. Coyne’s Principles reminded me of George Carlin’s observation:

    “Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”

  10. The word “schmuck” can be seen all over Germany; it means “ornament” and is the sign on the front of jewelry stores. Foreigners are amused by it when they are on their first visit to Germany.

  11. but if you do, occasionally, recognize your Cosmic Schmuckiness, you might begin to become a little less Schmucky than the general human average

    That’s such a great idea, it’d be great to have a name for this admission of Schmuckiness. Maybe we could call it “taking moral responsibility” 😉

  13. Your principles of life make perfect sense, Dr. Coyne, but of course, neither one applies to me! 🙂

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