Three days ago I announced a contest in which readers were asked to make up two satirical Huffington Post headlines, with the prize being an autographed copy of Faith Versus Fact (or an audiobook) with a cat drawn on it. The deadline for the contest is tomorrow at 5 p.m. Chicago time, so this is a reminder to enter if you wish. The post gives a list of characteristic HuffPo features, which you may or may not wish to incorporate.
If there’s any flaw in many entries, it’s that they’re either too heavy-handed or too long. They should be in PuffHo style, and not so bizarre that you couldn’t conceive of them appearing on that ragsite.
Here, for example, are a couple of pretty good ones that have been entered:
Bad boy, bad girl! How you’re harming your dog by indoctrinating them into the gender binary.
Yale students demand that Economics professor rescind Final Exam; accuse him of Macro and Micro aggressions.
Ramadan is for Everyone: Genuis Ways How to Avoid Cultural Appropriation with Light Day-Eating
A selfie-stick and an iPhone: how men over 40 are doing their own colonoscopies
This one is deliciously sarcastic:
Fox Shows Bias in Hillary Coverage
Get the idea? Short, sweet, and right in line with PuffHo’s philosophy. Remember, two entries per person, please.
And, just to get your juices flowing, here’s a real one (click screenshot if you really want to read it):
Who, exactly, is “we”? The whole U.S.? I doubt it. No, what author and Associate Editor Minou Clark means is “We privileged college-educated white women who work for slave wages at PuffHo and, as compensation, pronounce on what everyone should think.”
Imagine if a real news outfit worked this way; it’s as if the New York Times had a piece with the title, “We’re over the moon about Hillary’s economic platform.”
Giddy-up?
A posting on the CNN web site has announced that Arianna Huffington is leaving HuffPo to focus on developing her “health and wellness” company.
The winner of this contest might have what it takes to replace her!
This is not Huffpo, but this is a real headline:
Huffington Post sues Jerry Coyne for fake headlines
Scientists discover evidence for evolution
Oh, man. “Science” journalism. I recently saw an article titled (paraphrase) “science says flossing does no good”. Turns out what they meant was no conclusive studies have been done showing flossing’s effect one way or the other.
Yeah I saw some of those headlines and they really irritated me. I think the flossing thing is so obvious no one has bothered with a study. My sample size is only me but if I go without floss for more than a few days my gums swell up and bleed easily. I have snaggly teeth that trap little bits of meat. I need a good flossing after ribs. It’s all very gross but I can vouch that floss is very important in my life. Who the f*$! wants to go around with a bunch of food stuck in their teeth regardless of the impact on oral health?
Yes, the longer food stays in contact with your teeth higher the chance of developing a cavity. It is a no-brainier, however, I think the reason studies are lacking is methodological. They’d need to conduct a long term study and therefore rely on accurate self-reporting, which is pretty unreliable. I’m sure a great majority of us have fibbed to the dentist.
Fake headlines are indeed excellent. It will be a difficult choice.
I’ve got one for ‘Medicine’
“New Study Confirms: PuffHo Headlines make great emetic”
Deepak slams Pope over Ken Ham’s ark park cultural appropriation tweet storm
Full disclosure….inspired by a National Lampoon typical tabloid head “Jackie tells Cher about Somebody’s New UFO Sex Diet.
Trump and his Candy dates.
Pope turnaround; female priests allowed to kiss his butt.
‘ISISters Are Doing It For Themselves! Ten fierce fashion tips for today’s jihadi bride’ #rockinitgirlfriend
‘Yes She Can! Why Kim K’s naked ping pong match in Madison Square Garden will be the greatest victory for feminism since suffrage’ #backoffpatriarchy
Can you really satirize HuffPo? I imagine that some of the submissions will soon be actual HuffPo headlines. Like Trump as shown in this New Yorker cartoon:
Stop—that Trump cartoon you came up with this morning just happened.
http://www.newyorker.com/cartoons/a20068
Sorry, where is that product I was looking out a couple of days ago? Ah, here we go. 10m of waterproof endoscope. What more could one wish for?
Honestly I was looking at it for a friend.
Who has a “plumbing problem”. It’s not what you think. Really.
HuffPo Contest entry :
“You’ll never believe what Trump’s wisdom teeth look like from this angle !”
Anyone got any … what are those chillies called? Jaloppy, or something like that? I hear it makes a fine lubricant.
“Play-doh vs. bubble wrap debate heats up: is it time for safe spaces in our safe spaces?”
It seems there’s a fine line between HuffPo headlines and Onion headlines.
I laughed out loud about the econ students