Is Jesus back? Nun gives birth—having no idea she was pregnant

January 18, 2014 • 2:21 pm

On Wednesday, in the Italian city of Rieti, a 31-year-old nun experienced severe stomach pains, and went to the hospital. A few hours later she gave birth to a healthy baby boy.

As the Torygraph reports:

The discovery of her pregnancy has embarrassed the Catholic Church in Italy, with the local bishop saying that she will have to leave her convent in Rieti, north of Rome, after breaking her vow of chastity.

“It would be preferable that she now lead a secular life with her baby, away from religious institutions,” said a spokesman for Delio Lucarelli, bishop of Rieti.

The nun, who is from El Salvador, had kept her pregnancy a secret and even as she was being taken to hospital in an ambulance denied that she could be pregnant.

“It’s not possible, I’m a nun,” she told doctors, according to the Italian press.

The nun, who has not been named, had been working in an old people’s home attached to the Campomoro convent near Rieti. She was a member of the Little Disciples of Jesus order.

The convent’s mother superior, Sister Erminia, said: “It seems she was not able to resist temptation.”

The kicker in all this is what she’s calling the kid:

She named the baby boy, who weighed 7.7lbs, Francesco – apparently in tribute to Pope Francis.

What is telling is that the Church isn’t willing to see this as a miracle. After all, the nun is married to Jesus, and made the implicit claim that she was chaste.  If DNA tests don’t turn up a human father, why couldn’t this be the first miracle in the inevitable canonization of Pope Francis?

It seems to me that this is really an advance in rationality, even in the Church: the immediate assumption that that was not a miracle but an unchaste nun, and the Church’s stand that she will have to leave her order because she must have copulated with a human. If that’s the case, why couldn’t you say the same for the “Virgin” Mary?

h/t: Kevin

112 thoughts on “Is Jesus back? Nun gives birth—having no idea she was pregnant

    1. Except that Immaculate Conception refers to Mary’s being conceived free of original sin, not the conception of Jesus in Mary’s womb courtesy of the Holy Ghost.

      1. All this relies on God knowing in advance the virgin’s Mary’s destiny. It’s fortunate then that noone exerted their libertarian free will to contravert his plans.

            1. Shouldn’t that be ominpromiscuous? God’s promiscuousness would have to be the greatest of which no greater could be conceived.

              I’m saying all the things that I know you’ll like
              Making good conversation
              I gotta handle you just right
              You know what I mean
              I took you to an intimate restaurant
              Then to a suggestive movie
              There’s nothing left to talk about
              Unless it’s horizontally

              Let’s get metaphysical, metaphysical
              I wanna get metaphysical
              Let’s get into metaphysical
              Let me hear your substance talk, your substance talk
              Let me hear your substance talk….

    2. I mean he IS coming back, right, so how do we know this isn’t Him? The Antichrist IS in the White House, after all, so why not?

  1. Maybe the father is a Father – one of those hot priests from the calendar. 🙂

    Funny how they boot out this woman from the church for getting pregnant, but all those rapist priests just got moved around. Well some were defrocked but many were moved around after lots of excuses from the church & cover ups.

    1. The Catholic church is guilty of hypocrisy? I’m shocked! That said, many more priests were defrocked in the last two years than in the previous two, so I think they are getting the message (the message in this case being that more and more diocese are going to face bankruptcy unless they start to clean up their act).

      1. There’s a small difference. Last time I checked, raping a child was a crime. Getting pregnant isn’t.

    2. I kind of feel sorry for her as much as I want to shake her. This is an adult female behaving like an imbecile in an attempt to deny the obvious. This is just one of the results of the Catholic Church’s freakishly unsavory attitudes to sex.

      And now she’s in charge of raising a child.

      1. Or worse, imagine if she really didn’t know how she got pregnant. The church doesn’t like to teach these things so who knows. That would be scarier than the delusion even!

        1. There’s a very specific technical term to refer to people who insist that their own children should only receive abstinence-only sex education (if any).

          That term, of course, is, “grandparent.”



      2. It is awful.

        It is also telling on religion, if it draws the most dysfunctional people and practices in a dysfunctional society. It a “sects, shrugs and fuck-them-all” life.

  2. We were told that Pope Francis was sneaking out of the Vatican at night to visit the soup kitchens and the poor, now we know where he might have really went!

  3. OK, it is on.
    Q: How do you get rid of a nun’s hiccups???
    A: Tell her she’s pregnant!!!

    Sister Catherine is asking all the Catholic school children in fourth grade what they want to be when they grow up. Little Sheila says: “When I grow up, I want to be a prostitute!”
    Sister Catherine’s eyes
    grow wide and she barks: “What the did you say?”
    “A prostitute!” Sheila repeats. Sister Catherine breathes a sight of relief and says: “Thank God! I thought you said a Protestant”

  4. The Bible alludes to Jesus’s brother James. Did James have children? Did Jesus have other siblings who had children? I ask because it just occurs to me that (if there had ever been a divine Jesus) Mary’s grandchildren — if she had any — were nieces/nephews blood-related to Jesus, as are all issue in the lineage. That would be a lot of cousins, many times removed of course, running around hither and yon right now.

    I don’t recall ever hearing about any claims by someone that Mary or one of her kids is an ancestor. (Sheesh, I’ve never heard one word about the fate of the lot of the Joseph/Mary clan following the crucifixion-not.

    You’d think that those relatives would have made this family lineage business into one hell a great big deal nlt than 4th century BCE all the way through to the present. Or maybe I’ve just managed to miss out on this and it is long settled?

      1. According to Geni (one of the best genealogy websites), Jesus of Nazareth is my 55th great uncle, and the Blessed Virgin Mary is my 55th great grandmother via her son Saint Jude who is my 54th great grandfather. Honest, I am not kidding. Yes, you may kiss my halo and bow to me! 😀

        1. This is the lineage, “your” being my. Note that there is a handful of fictional characters in that lineage:

          Ariadna Nikolaievna Narishkina, née Countess Mouraviova
          your mother

          Count Nikolai Leonidovich Mouraviov
          her father

          Софья Николаевна Муравьева
          his mother

          Nikolai Nikolayevich Orzhitsky
          her father

          Александра Васильевна Деденева
          his mother

          Александра Федоровна Разумовская
          her mother

          Alexandra Mikhaïlovna Comtesse Sheremetyeva
          her mother

          Mihail (Михаил Борисович) Cheremetev (гр. Шереметев)
          her father

          Евдокия Алексеевна Чирикова
          his mother

          Féodossia Pavlovna Somoff Чирикова
          her mother

          Princesse Maria Vassilievna Vériguine-Volkonsky
          her mother

          Princesse ….Féodorovna Volkonsky
          her mother

          Prince Féodor Konstantinovich Volkonsky
          her father

          Константин Романович Волконский
          his father

          Роман Александрович князь Волконский
          his father

          Prince Alexandre Ivanovitch Volkonsky (v 1450) prend le nom du fief
          his father

          Князь Иван Фёдорович Волконский
          his father

          Князь Фёдор Иванович Волконский
          his father

          Иван Юрьевич “Толстая Голова” кн. Волконский
          his father

          Prince Yury Mikhailovich of Torusa and Bryansk
          his father

          Princess Maria of Galicia
          his mother

          Предслава Рюриковна
          her mother

          Анна Юрьевна
          her mother

          Юрий Ярославич, князь Туровский
          her father

          his mother

          Judith Maria ►Sophia Salien von Schwaben, magyar királyné – Königin von Ungarn
          her mother

          Empress Agnes of Poitou
          her mother

          Guillaume ‘le Grand’ d’Aquitaine, III Comte de Poitou, V Duc d’Aquitaine
          her father

          Emma de Blois
          his mother

          Theobald I “le Tricheur” de Blois Count of Champagne
          her father

          Richilde de Bourges
          his mother

          Rothilde of the Franks
          her mother

          Richildis d’Ardennes, de Provence
          her mother

          Bivin, count & lay abbot of Gorze
          her father

          … d’Amiens
          his mother

          Richard I d’Amiens
          her father

          Waudbert VIII, count of Lommois
          his father

          Waudbert VII, count of Lommois
          his father

          Adeltrude de Hainaut
          his mother

          Saint Vincent Madelgarus, Comte de Hainault
          her father

          Madelgaire de Hainaut
          his father

          Amalberge de Hainaut
          his mother

          Wauthier de Hainaut
          her father

          Mathilde de Boulogne
          his mother

          Gania de Cornouaille
          her mother

          Uther Pendragon ap Custennyn, King of Britons
          her father

          Ivoire (Fictional)
          his mother

          Lancelot of Brittany (Fictional)
          her father

          Jonaans of Brittany (Fictional)
          his father

          Galains (Fictional)
          his father

          Nascien II (Fictional)
          his father

          Narpus (Fictional)
          his father

          Celedoine (Fictional)
          his father

          Nasciens I (Fictional)
          his father

          Elzasus (Fictional)
          his father

          Saint Jude
          his father

          Jesus of Nazareth
          his brother

    1. James is described as “a brother of the lord”, which is consistent with it being a title (after all, some clergy are called “brothers” these days too), not a sibling.

      The “siblings” bit is interesting – there are all sorts of Christian groups which have explicit views about them, even though they aren’t in the texts. (Even more apocryphal than apocrypha!)

      1. So long as we’re on the subject of heresies, it’s well worth noting that the versions of Christianity that didn’t make the cut are particularly bizarre to modern senses, even though they’re in no way meaningfully different from orthodoxy.

        For example, Marcion’s gospel opens with an adult Jesus beaming down from the heavens like Captain Kirk; and, for the Ophites, Jesus was some sort of a snake god.

        All these cults have histories that stretch as close in time and place to the familiar Gospels as the Gospels themselves, so it’s not like any one of them has any better claim on authenticity other than the fact that the Fab Four were the ones that survived the political infighting.



  5. “It would be preferable that she now lead a secular life with her baby, away from religious institutions,”

    Truer words were never spoken, although I would substitute “she” with “everyone”.

  6. You people are so skeptical! Hyperskeptics all.

    We have a first person account that this nun, sworn servant of God, did not get pregnant in the common way. Surely she would know if any base activities had taken place! The other nuns are reported to have been surprised this happened, which clearly shows that no strange men had been sneaking around the convent. What more could you want in the way of evidence? Remember, she was there and you weren’t. The evidence is overwhelming, as I’m sure Wm. Lane Craig will agree. It must be another miraculous birth. No other interpretation is possible.

    Furthermore, this proven modern miracle confirms the veracity of the Bible in its account of the Birth if Jesus. God can do this! Some skeptics have objected that the Bible account is insufficiently supported by “anonymous” sources and is too distant in time. The gospel authors are known with certainty to scholars and those of faith (Matthew, John, Luke, Ringo) so this attempt to subvert God’s Word was never valid. But this new miracle just happened recently and is being reported in all the newspapers of the world and both on reputable websites and disreputable blogs. No honest person can believe that this is not an act of God! He has come again!

    1. Well argued. There was no way she could have gotten away with something like this on her own rickety, twin-sized convent bed.

      I’m thinking it must have happened on the ground of being.

    2. Sadly, there is the possibility she was raped while unconscious, perhaps after having been drugged. As far as not knowing she was pregnant, can we blame bad sex ed?

      1. That’s certainly possible. We don’t know enough to understand what happened, but blaming the nun is certainly premature, at least from my POV. The Catholic Church apparently feels differently, and she’s their employee.

        There have been several reported cases of women not realizing they were pregnant until very late in the process. Lack of medical care may be the biggest factor in that.

    3. Now all that’s needed is to get 12 men to multiply attest to this immaculate conception.
      And we’ll be off and running again for another 2,000 years.

    4. There’s bound to be at least one strange man around the convent, the nuns need a priest to confess their sins to.

  7. It sounds like the priest who seduced her told her she couldn’t get pregnant because she was a nun. Poor woman, she gets chucked out and the priest gets off scot-free.

    1. Has it been established that a priest was involved? Even the skeptical Telegraph didn’t say anything about that, nor did another liberal article I read.

      I’m still thinking it’s plainly the best authenticated miracle from God ever. In our time! Halle-loofah!

  8. As Ms Spingies and Ms MacPherson, I too, am quite concerned re the sex – ed learnin’s by kiddos, by adolescents and, for that matter, by fully ‘ matured ’ adults … … if they are so thus “taught this” by papal – ly divinations !

    Miss Nun indeed may NOT have known she was gonna whelp ! Let alone, how in Lucifer’s realm, er in hell … … aaaah, how in the hell, she found herself preggers in the first place !

    After all … … in all of the media reports thus far — worldwide, I have not read at where she had had, during any trimester’s worth of this particular jebus – god’s gestation, … … that she had had a visit to inform her of same … … a visit from Gabe !

    Ya’ know, from Luke’s [ 1 : 26 – 56 ] bro: from that Angel Gabriel, to let her know ! Ya’ know — ahead o’time ! The Wing – ed Dude who lets all o’us virgins know before The Bless – ed Event that: “we have found Favor” with THE Dude. Like he did w’the V – Mar !

    Likewise as with Ms Spingies’ and Ms MacPherson’s concerns, my fear too — now ? Now: this person, Miss Nun, is in charge of raising up this child ! — W.h.o.a.


    1. There are many worse starts for a baby than having a mom who was once a nun. Interesting stories to tell his own children, for sure. I wish a wise and secular upbringing for the guy.

      1. Perhaps, if she leaves her religion behind her. But she probably won’t. She isn’t a nun any more, but she will still be a Catholic. And one who holds some exceedingly strange ideas if she thought for a second that living in denial would somehow magically void being pregnant.

        She might decide to continue as a repentant sinner who teaches her child it is her “shame”. I hope she doesn’t, but so far all we have is naive and credulous statements from someone who is clearly subservient to her religion. I hope that life on the outside will be a positive experience for her.

  9. “…the immediate assumption that that was not a miracle but an unchaste nun, and the Church’s stand that she will have to leave her order because she must have copulated with a human. If that’s the case, why couldn’t you say the same for the “Virgin” Mary?”

    It’s totally different. Mary was a virgin when she became pregnant. It’s there, right in the name: The VIRGIN Mary.
    On the other hand, this nun is obviously nothing but a slut.

    1. It must have been a little awkward when Joseph first discovered Mary was pregnant. Unless of course he slept through that particular lecture in sex ed class.

      1. The Holy Ghost came and told him not to worry about it. I translated that passage when I was in school and what was interesting was the King James version said the spook came to him as a vision while the Greek clearly says it was in a dream.



    Isaiah’s original Hebrew, with the mistranslated words underscored, reads: “Hinneh ha-almah harah ve-yeldeth ben ve-karath shem-o immanuel”;-which, falsely translated by the false pen of the pious translators, runs thus in the English: “Behold, a virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel” (Isa. vii, 14.) The Hebrew words ha-almah mean simply the young woman; and harah is the Hebrew past or perfect tense, “conceived,” which in Hebrew, as in English, represents past and completed action. Honestly translated, the verse reads: “Behold, the young woman has conceived-[is with child)-and beareth a son and calleth his name Immanuel.”

    Almah means simply a young woman, of marriageable age, whether married or not, or a virgin or not; in a broad general sense exactly like girl or maid in English, when we say shop-girl, parlor-maid, bar-maid, without reference to or vouching for her technical virginity, which, in Hebrew, is always expressed by the word bethulah. But in the Septuagint translation into Greek, the Hebrew almah was erroneously rendered into the Greek parthenos, virgin, with the definite article ‘ha’ in Hebrew, and e in Greek, (the), rendered into the indefinite “a” by later falsifying translators. (See Is It God’s Word? pp. 277-279; EB. ii, 2162; New Commentary on the Holy Scripture, Pt. I, p. 439.) And St. Jerome falsely used the Latin word virgo.

    1. Once again, Justin Martyr to the Rescue. This time, from his Dialogue with Trypho:

      And Trypho answered, “The Scripture has not, ‘Behold, the virgin shall conceive, and bear a son,’ but, ‘Behold, the young woman shall conceive, and bear a son,’ and so on, as you quoted. But the whole prophecy refers to Hezekiah, and it is proved that it was fulfilled in him, according to the terms of this prophecy. Moreover, in the fables of those who are called Greeks, it is written that Perseus was begotten of Danae, who was a virgin; he who was called among them Zeus having descended on her in the form of a golden shower. And you ought to feel ashamed when you make assertions similar to theirs, and rather[should] say that this Jesus was born man of men. And if you prove from the Scriptures that He is the Christ, and that on account of having led a life conformed to the law, and perfect, He deserved the honour of being elected to be Christ,[it is well]; but do not venture to tell monstrous phenomena, lest you be convicted of talking foolishly like the Greeks.”

      Martyr doesn’t really address Trypho’s observation after that — a pattern that, once thus set in the early second century has remained consistent ever since.



  11. Reminds me of my favorite scene from Agnes of God:

    Who knew about Agnes’ pregnancy?


    How did she hide it from the other nuns?

    MOTHER MIRIAM (indicating her habit)
    She could have hidden a machine gun in here if she had wanted to.

  12. The nun, Roxana Rodriguez, acknowledged that she conceived in April, when she visited an old flame back in El Salvador, but she later took her vows, in September; so, I wonder … are those celibacy vows retroactive?

  13. While it stretches credibility that she didn’t know she was nine-months pregnant with a rather large baby boy, the nun, Roxana Rodriguez, has formally acknowledged via a note to the church that she had conceived in April, when she visited an old flame back in El Salvador – but she then, later, took her vows, in September; so, I wonder … are those celibacy vows retroactive?

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