Professor Ceiling Cat is poorly

May 5, 2013 • 2:57 pm

You might have noticed a complete absence of posts today. That’s because your genial host has had a recurrence of his tummy bug, or whatever the damn thing is. I’ll spare you the details except that I am unable to do anything beyond lying in bed.

I hope to be in better form tomorrow, but if posts are thin blame it on microbes. Perhaps Matthew or Greg can fill in for a bit.

Over and out.

p.s. Anyone who brings me two liters of 7-up or Diet Coke gets an autographed book.

48 thoughts on “Professor Ceiling Cat is poorly”

    1. Apparently there is approx 1kg of microbes in a human gut.

      Possibly norovirus…?

      1. Never try to eat anything with teeth bigger than your own head, I say. Surprised the same thought didn’t occur sooner to the bears….

        b&

  4. Wish I was living in your neighborhood. I’d run right over w/ some of my homemade chicken soup and noodles. I’d have you up and runnin’ in no time.

    If the problem persists, I may FedEx some!

    Get well soon.

    2. I had the exact same thought.

      And the other awesome thing about chicken soup is it’s so easy to make, especially if you have a pressure cooker.

      Most supermarkets these days sell pre-packaged mirepoix — chopped carrots, onion, and celery in a ratio I can never remember nor worry much about. Get a package of that (or chop ’em yourself if need be) and a family pack of chicken thighs. Dump both into the pot with a couple teaspoons of salt and some pepper. For bonus points, add some parsley and dill; for extra bonus points, make it fresh parsley and fresh dill. If you’ve got some white wine, splash in a half a cup or so (and no worries if not). Add water to just cover all the ingredients and cook — about 25 minutes under pressure in a pressure cooker (and let pressure fall by itself), or slowly simmer for an hour or two in a conventional pot.

      That’s it! That’s all there is to chicken soup.

      When you’re done you can bone out the remaining meat and set it aside for sandwiches and chicken salad and casseroles and the like. Strain out the mirepoix and use it as a thickening agent for sauces or just to add some instant interest to a casserole. And the broth is perfect for sauces and risotto and all those sorts of things — far, far superior to anything you can get in a box. You can even skim the fat that rises to the top of the broth and use it for schmaltz for most things other than pastry.

      It’s truly amazing how much food and how much variety you get out of one single pot of chicken soup. And it’s so cheap it’s practically free!

      Anyway, get better, Jerry, and you know where to reach a helpful horde — just post the word and I’m sure everybody in the Chicago area will descend upon you like a generous plague of locusts, happy to take care of your every whim.

      …they might even bring cats….

      Cheers,

      b&

      1. Great recipe, Ben, or Jerry could have some rich chicken soup with tons of ginger and garlic and ruby port. Would set him right in short order.

        Someone nearby please help him out.

        1. Or, for that matter, chicken paprikash is another classic pressure cooker recipe and also good for what ails ya.

          b&

  9. Get well soon, Jerry.

    Here’s a joke to cheer you up, adapted, I think from the wonderful Stewart Lee.

    A Christian, a Muslim and a Jew were having a drink in a bar…What a fine example of inter-faith harmony.

  10. Perhaps the seventh pint of Old Curmudgeon’s Triple Strength Imperial Malt Liquor was a mistake?

    Hope you’re feeling better soon! In the meantime we’ll all pray for you . . .

    1. Nae, a wee dram ne’er hurts!

      My standard prescription for a tummy bug, which I got from the late Bob Boothby, Baron Boothby of Buchan and Rattray Head, is a liberal measure of Edradour, although Balvenie DoubleWood will do almost as well.

      Boothby, a maverick Tory (later Independent) who deserves to be remembered for more than his tumultuous private life, originated, with his equally maverick Labour friend Manny Shinwell, one of the most civilised proposals to be put before the House of Lords:

      My Lords, in thanking the noble Lord for that courteous but rather uninformative reply, may I ask him whether Her Majesty’s Government realise that in the modern world Scotch whisky is about the only thing left that brings guaranteed and sustained comfort to mankind, and is also a much better medicine than the deluge of drugs which pour upon us every day?

      Boothby was 83 at the time, Shinwell 98, and they went on to live to 86 and 101, respectively, so there is definitely something to be said for the curative virtues of Scotch.

      But if the Single Malt fails, Jerry, will the Professor please see a doctor?

      1. I’d forgotten about Boothby (shame on me as an Aberdeen boy) but not about Manny — whom I actually met at some point in the late ’60s/early ’70s at a Labour Party shindig in London. Met for all of two seconds as one of a crowd with whom he shook hands and exchanged a muttered “hello”, but it was still a bit of a thrill at the time.

  11. Get well soon Jerry

    Suggestion:- If you have a real craving for fizzy pop phone a taxi company & get them to buy & deliver

    or

    Order a pizza delivery [put pizza in fridge for when you have an appetite] & add on the fizzy pop. Chicago minimum order is around $20 + $4 delivery

    1. Safeway delivers too. Google Safeway delivery and you can put in an order online.

  12. I see you are not trained in communication protocol. The command Over means I am waiting to listen to you. The command Out means I am shutting down and not listening to you. So “Over and Out” is meaningless and contradictory in the real world, and used only in movies and on TV.

  13. Sorry to hear that. There is nothing, at least so far, that will get me down faster than digestive issues. So, I get it. At my semi-ripe old age of 63, my appetite functions like I’m 21 and my stomach…well, just say often abused. Wishing you a rapid recovery.

  15. Shouldn’t it have gone away by now?

    Couldn’t hurt to make an appointment with your doctor, could it?

    1. Yeah, you should listen to Marta. I was a dumb ass and didn’t go to the doctor for a month and I had C-dif. Yeah, I’m that kind of bad ass – went to work with C-dif. 😀

  17. Get well soon Jerry. I have intermittent gut issues and it’s no fun, hope it passes soon. If it hasn’t cleared up in a few days, I’ll add my recommendations to visit the doctor to the ones above.

  19. Merde!!! Just thought of that horrible research saying that Christians recover less well when they know that they are being prayed for.

    Get worse, Jerry! No pressure. Keep your pecker down.

    Wander into that pleasant semi-sleepdom with some just-too-long-but-vaguely-interesting article in the LRB (which I hope has arrived).

  20. Good you’re not in a French boarding house like the Anglo professor I heard about once. He had a prolonged period of ailing, and at one point the landlady fretted over him, “Oh, I hope Monsieur will recover, for it will be very expensive to have him engraved.”

    Speedy recovery!!

  21. Oh, the microbes!

    How coincidental that I also have just lain in bed 2.5 hours with a microbe infection. I was hoping to treat my discomfort by reading something mentally nourishing.

    Never expect sympathy from a cat
    http://cheezburger.com/7121688320

    1. That’s the stereotype, sure…but Baihu stays very close to me when I’m not on top of my game. Just very recently, in fact, he spent the night by my side, something he never otherwise does once the weather warms up as much as it has.

      b&

  22. The best laid plans of mice and men is interrupted by microbes. Hope they identify what the culprit is so that you can perhaps, attack it with medication. This is where the iPad is helpful – it can be read whilst lying flat.

  23. Has your doctor ruled out helicobacter pylori? I know when I had it I had to diagnose myself; the doctor completely dropped the ball on that one. The nausea and vomiting would abate with total bed rest. It seems to get a foothold with overwork and disrupted sleep patterns.

  24. Shouldn’t eat those salamanders. [Or was that not one of your “good eats” posts?]

  26. Heck, Jerry, we might have to line up as donors for a transpoosion if it doesn’t get better.

  29. Hope you’re better soon, Jerry. Though chicken soup is ethnically correct I’ve found miso soup to be far more effective. And yes, see the doc.

  30. Perhaps those strange microorganisms from the Carolinas? Well, get well. Hear from you soon, I hope.

  31. Get well soon! My last round fo this was 1.5 days of “don’t get more than 10-seconds away from the loo” and then a week of grumbly belly.

    Yeck!

    Get well soon!

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