Caturday felid: The Cat Whisperer

May 7, 2011 • 3:52 am

From AOL Weird News we learn that on May 7, the Animal Planet television station will begin a series about problem cats, “My Cat From Hell.”  Heavily tattooed musician Jackson Galaxy is The Cat Whisperer, who claims that there’s no kitteh so bad that he cannot help it.  Note the cat-taming kit he carries in a guitar case:

And you think your kitteh is bad? Check this out:

“One of my clients was a big guy who moved in with his girlfriend who already had the cat,” Galaxy told AOL Weird News. “He was trying to be understanding of the cat — until it started peeing in his mouth while sleeping.”

Although Galaxy is a cat lover, he concedes the idea of drinking cat urine while snoozing is unpleasant.

“However, the hardest part was getting the guy to calm down,” he said. “I understood why he was upset, but, to me, the real issue was what was coming out of the guy’s mouth that made the cat want to urinate.”

The solution turned out to be a real snoozer: Galaxy recommended the client go through a sleep study and, sure enough, the man had sleep apnea and snored very loudly.

And, as we cat-lovers would like to believe, problem cats are often the fault of the owners:

Galaxy’s job is to be a sort of pussycat shrink, but, in many cases, it’s the owners who need help more.

“One of my clients was a woman who blamed her cat for breaking up every relationship,” he said. “Apparently, the sex noises freaked out the cat and he would maul the guys*.

“This kept happening, so, obviously, it was her making the noises, not the guys — but she wouldn’t answer that directly, and I didn’t want to go there either.

“However, the big question was, ‘Why was she leaving the door open anyway?’ And psychology suggests she didn’t really want a boyfriend.”

The show’s webpage has several other instructive videos, including “How to pet a cat” and “How to read a cat’s body language.”

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*While in graduate school, I had a pet skunk who would behave this way.

22 thoughts on “Caturday felid: The Cat Whisperer

  1. While in graduate school, I had a pet skunk who would behave this way

    Is there any possible way that Prof Coyne could get any more interesting?

      1. Or is it your skunk would have loud sex and you would attack its partners? If it were me, I’d guess that was more likely, but I’ve heard you somehow maintained a relationship with a nurse while a botfly larvae was in your head (for the uninitiated, fast foward to time 06:20 here: http://www.radiolab.org/2009/jan/12/glad-somebody-likes-bugs/), so I guess a pet skunk isn’t a deal-breaker for some guys 😉

        1. Illinoisjoe, thanks for the link to the botfly story. I’m grossed out and fascinated at the same time!

        2. THANK you for the link!! Much fun, and leads to an even greater appreciation for our host.

          Also brought back some memories of my own graduate course in Costa Rica, from which one of my favorite examples of the irrepressible scientist stems (though not nearly as good a story as Jerry’s!).

          My friend and I were dining in a small restaurant in San Isidro, when she dipped her spoon into her bowl of some sort of soup with rice and came up with 2 small cockroaches in it. She held the spoon out to me across the table and asked, “That’s the family Blattidae, isn’t it?”

          1. The botfly guy was Coyne?! I remember that story and think about it from time to time, but apparently I listened to it before finding this website. Wow.

          2. “The botfly guy…” Has a pleasing, assonant ring to it, doesn’t it? Wonder if it’ll prove to be sticky…

            (Or how much it’s worth to JAC that it doesn’t…)

  2. I, too, wish to hear more about the sex that made your pet skunk upset 🙂

    C’mon, you didn’t think you were going to get away with making a statement like that without piquing everyone’s instant curiosity, did you?

  3. From the description of the show it appears that the man’s title shouldn’t be ‘cat whisperer’ (which was already a laughable proposition on first sight), but rather ‘cat-owner whisperer’.

  4. First, is that Guy Fieri’s brother?

    Second: “…until it started peeing in his mouth while sleeping.” I bet some people would pay good money for that.

    I have a good friend who often tells me: “There are no bad dogs, just bad dog owners.” Ditto for cats.

    1. “I bet some people would pay good money for that”

      *blink*

  5. Great, now everyone who wants to get into Harvard is gonna be rushing out and buying skunks.

  6. I read somewhere that 90% or so of complaints about cats had to do with kitty peeing outside the litter box. I am skeptical that even a “cat whisperer” can solve that one …. permanently (except for simple cases.) Once they start, my experience is that you can get them to stop temporarily. Then they do it again. Then you work with it till it gets better. Then you get sick of “better” being as bad as it is. You are a fulltime member of the Official Cat Piss Patrol.

    I’m not sure you can have an exciting show based on some guy going around sniffing the carpet and going “AHA!”

  7. I am an atheist living in the Bible Belt. You educated types up North just don’t get it. I’m educated, also; but, though it took me a couple of years, I finally got it. Let Charlie Daniels tell what its all about.

  8. HELP!! I have 2 12yr old female sisters. Spayed and front claws removed as kittens. I have a 1 floor ranch home with 2 litter boxes cleaned regularly.(second house with these 2) No other pets, I live alone. The cats have always urinated and pooped anywhere they want, sometimes within feet of the boxes. I’ve had to replace entire carpets. They go on any, and every, rug in the house, every room with carpet. I’ve tried every product on the market. Nothing works. They do use the litter boxes, but only half the time it seems. I have seen both cats do this right in front of me. They are friendly, happy, playful cats, but have had this behavior since they were 8wks old.
    Tired of the stench and clean ups but love my girls! Please advise.

  9. I have a cat that is about a year and a half old. I got him from the shelter at about 6 months. He has always been extremely vocal about 2 months ago i moved into a house from an apartment. He loves the house running around windows etc. He screams non stop though he will go into the basement and just yell i go down there and hes just laying on the floor. Every morning around 4 a.m. he comes into my room and yells and yells till i get up and then just stops. If i go outside to do something in the yard he sits in the window and just yells at me. Then when im in the hosue he ignores me mostly. I had a friend visiting this weekend and she couldn’t believe it said she had never seen anything like it, she works at a shelter and has two cats of her own. He is extremely lovable doesn’t seem stressed. He just talks constantly and he is not siamese or at least doesn’t look siamese at all. I have no idea what to do about this and its getting excessive.

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