41 thoughts on “Wanted: dead and alive

    1. *with a shock realizes he decided to no longer go to church at age 16, the week after he took in a stray cat, that had been following him on a hiking tour*

    1. Indeed. I would NEVER worship my cats. That would be SOOO wrong.

      That’s why I’m in search for a different word for it.
      Any ideas?

      1. My observation is that atheists hate being compared to theists so let’s test it.

        Jerry, what other irrational beliefs do you share with devout Muslims?

      2. Why not dogs? Since dogs worship their owners, that just shows how undeserved any form of worship can be!

    1. Cat-allergic atheist here, too — but I’ve been owned by numerous cats over the years. Ongoing allergy shots help.

      1. If I lived in the country I’d consider allergy shots for sure, but we’re a city-dwelling family with little space, lots of travel and irregular working hours, so our home is not fit for pets at all. Driving to the stables, riding, petting the barn cats a couple of times a week is fine for me.
        As a cat allergic, have you also experienced the absolute love a cat will throw in your way? It took me years to find out why I was always being smothered with cat love, they jumped up into my lap, they curled around my legs, they pawed my feet. One day it dawned on me, that I – because of allergy – never said hello to them, I just ignored any cat in my vicinity and the result was this overwhelming display of emotion and purring. Now I know what they were really saying: “You WILL acknowledge me, human!”. Now I tend to greet all cats I meet, and am genereally left in peace thereafter.

  1. I want my sparrows back. I used to have a whole bush full of them. I used to watch them pecking away at the concrete path (dunno why, but they were very keen on it). Flocks of them, descending in a small cloud two or three times a day. Now there are only one or two, and they don’t do that any more. But there are a lot of cats. One of the nicest killed one of my greenfinches. I saw it with my eye. Now the other greenfinch has vanished. That leaves me with two collared doves, two blackbirds, and an infrequent robin. Oh, and about 3 000 wood pigeons, so perhaps I shouldn’t complain, really. A friend of mine goes on and on about her bloody kittens. She thinks they’re human. She invents animal minds. She is always wrong. But talk about success! Actually, I quite like cats, but somehow they’re just not the same, not even the pretty ones.

    1. Me neither. They are supervised when outside, though.

      Our backyard birds have much more to fear from 2 neighborhood semi-feral cats.

      1. Putting a bell on a cat is tantamount to animal abuse.
        A cat is a hunter and a stalker by nature…and you wanna put something on it that goes DIIIING! everytime the cat moves a muscle?
        the poor thing will go nuts in a week.


    2. Is Salim falling victim to RSS feed layouts? I’m pretty sure he was responding to Jerry writing “All good atheists love cats” in the original post. That’s how it looks in my browser, anyway.

    1. Personally, I refuse to choose between cats and dogs, but one thing always struck me as funny about cats: they’re so bloody independent, and don’t need us and all that, but whatever you do, don’t ever let them out of the house, not even for a second!!1!

  2. I love the kittehs, but with a parrot, 2 cockatiels and a lovebird free ranging a small condo, I’ve decided to enjoy the furry beasts vicariously.

    Have you read the poem For I Will Consider My Cat Jeoffry by Christopher Smart?

    It’s quite long but here’s an excerpt:

    For I will consider my Cat Jeoffry.
    For he is the servant of the Living God duly and daily serving him.
    For at the first glance of the glory of God in the East he worships in his way.
    For this is done by wreathing his body seven times round with elegant quickness.
    For then he leaps up to catch the musk, which is the blessing of God upon his prayer.
    For he rolls upon prank to work it in.
    For having done duty and received blessing he begins to consider himself.
    For this he performs in ten degrees.
    For first he looks upon his forepaws to see if they are clean.
    For secondly he kicks up behind to clear away there.
    For thirdly he works it upon stretch with the forepaws extended.
    For fourthly he sharpens his paws by wood.
    For fifthly he washes himself.
    For sixthly he rolls upon wash.
    For seventhly he fleas himself, that he may not be interrupted upon the beat.
    For eighthly he rubs himself against a post.
    For ninthly he looks up for his instructions.
    For tenthly he goes in quest of food.

    Written by Smart while he was confined in Mr. Potter’s Madhouse in Bethnal Green in the 1760s.

    In the 1750s Smart developed a form of religious mania that compelled him to continuous prayer. Samuel Johnson remarked, “My poor friend Smart showed the disturbance of his mind by falling upon his knees, and saying his prayers in the street, or in any other unusual place.”

    From Poemhunter.com: http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/for-i-will-consider-my-cat-jeoffry-excerpt-jubil/

    1. Some of this has been set to music by Mr Britten in “Rejoice in the Lamb”. It is followed by an alto solo, “For the mouse is a creature of great personal valour.” There is no song about dogs.

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