Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

June 7, 2017 • 9:15 am

. . . actually, they’re mine or my dad’s, and I’ve put them in bold.

When I was young, my father used to pose me this task, “Jerry, imagine a face that you’ve never seen.” I couldn’t do it. Maybe some of you can, but when I try, it always resembles someone I know.

Second Deep Thought, which derives from the first. This morning I was drinking my coffee: I have only one cup per day, but it’s a latte I make on my Breville Cafe Roma espresso machine, a great deal on a pressure machine, and it’s lasted several years (the trick is using distilled deionized water, so it never needs cleaning).

This is what my morning java looks like; it’s in a cup I had made with a logo sent by a friend, featuring the LOLCat translation of Why Evolution is True:

But I digress. Here’s the second Deep Thought. Many of you, like me, are avid fans of good coffee. Even though my intake is limited, I love the taste and appreciate the wake-up buzz.  A world without coffee would be inconceivable to me, although that was what the ancient world is like, and what many places are like now. (How did the Spartans manage to fight without jave?)

Now think of this: what other things are even BETTER than coffee but don’t exist? Imagine the delicious beverages and foodstuffs that we’ll never know about because their ingredients don’t exist. Could you imagine a banana, or a roast goose, if neither that fruit nor fowl existed? No, you couldn’t. Sometimes stuff like this bothers me.

Nota bene: Just because one can imagine, say, a beverage that is greater than coffee is not proof that that beverage exists. I am not Anselm of Canterbury.

Lagniappe: My ducklings are growing, though the brood of five newborns is gone and I fear they are in the Great Pond in the Sky. But here’s the thriving brood of four, eating the Cheerios I gave them this morning (note: DO NOT give bread to ducks or ducklings: it has no nutritional value for them. Try instant oatmeal or Cheerios [not the sugary kind]).

Your morning Deepakities

January 30, 2015 • 6:37 am

Chopra had a bad attack of Maru’s Syndrome on Twi**er yesterday. In  tw**t on HIV/AIDS, he compounds his confusion:

AIDS

Umm. . . I don’t think so: it worked for smallpox. If the virus is eliminated, PRESTO—No more AIDS, regardless of people’s lifestyles.

In another tw**t, Chopra mentions “unprotected sex” as a factor contributing to AIDS. If that’s not “concentrating on the pathogen,” I don’t know what is. This man is a practicing doctor, and claims to push a purely scientific view.

In the meantime, the deepities continue. What distresses me more than the fact that this clown thinks he has wisdom is the fact that many people (see the comments on the right) actually lap up that faux wisdom.
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And a quiz. . .

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Any ideas?

Monday entertainment: Deepak Chopra tries to attack Dawkins, fails miserably

January 19, 2015 • 8:15 am

Let’s start off the week with something light and amusing, and by that I mean the recent lucubrations of Deepak Chopra, always good for a giggle or guffaw. This PuffHo Live video was made last November, so I’m late to the party, but I haven’t seen it posted anywhere else.

Click on the screenshot below to hear Deepak excoriate Richard Dawkins for his “militant atheism” and for calling non-militant atheists “stupid”. Chopra then talks about the things that he considers “real,” goes off on his usual tirade about “consciousness”, and argues that scientists’ concept of reality has been “bamboozled by the superstition of materialism.”

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Diamonds in his glasses!

I asked Richard about Chopra’s “militant atheism” quote; he responded that “I don’t recall saying I was a militant atheist although I may have. I’m pretty sure I would never say that anybody who wasn’t a militant atheist was stupid.” Dawkins did add that it was possible he said that and just forgot, but, given Chopra’s history of distorting and misquoting New Atheists, I think the Deepakity is just making this up.  I challenge Chopra to provide the source of Dawkins’s quotes.

But on to the philosophy.  Chopra’s stalking horse is, as he notes in the video, the notion of  “naive realism,” which, as he argues is the incredibly immature notion that there is nothing more to the world than matter and energy. That is, materialism. Chopra, of course, feels that there is a Great Numinousity above it all; that the whole fricking universe is conscious in a way that can’t be described, even in principle, by the laws of physics. Here is a precis from the PuffHo notes:

“He’s a fundamentalist,” [Chopra] told host Caroline Modarressy-Tehrani. “His version of realities is what we call empirical realities. That if you can see it, it’s real. If you can’t see it, it’s not real.”

“But we know, you can’t see your thoughts, feelings, emotions, desires, imagination, creativity, choice — and they’re real,” he continued, making a case for a non-visible God. “Your inner world is real.”

Here Chopra conflates two notions of reality, and I think he does it on purpose. Although I can’t speak for Richard, I’m pretty sure he would agree with me that “thoughts, feelings, emotions” and so on are real in one sense: they are experienced by people and described by them. If someone says his stomach hurts, his feeling is a real feeling—if he’s not lying, that is.

What I would deny are two things: first, that those emotions are not anchored in the physical substance of our brain and thus do not reflect brain activity produced by chemistry and physics. That is, I would deny that emotions and “choices” reflect something beyond and not reducible to the material. Second, I’d deny that the experience of having feelings and emotions itself says something about reality. That is, feeling the presence of God is not conclusive—or even strong—evidence that there is a God.  To arrive at that conclusion one needs empirical evidence that can be supported by multiple observers: the kind of evidence that Chopra abjures. The belief may be real, but not the object of that belief.

Here’s a 7-minute clip from The Young Turks deftly demolishing Deepakity’s inanities. I like the idea that Chopra is promoting “religion for the nonreligious.” One of the convergences between Chopra’s craziness and Sophisticated Theology™ is the notion that consciousness will forever lie beyond the ken of science, and therefore provides some evidence for both nonmaterialism and the numinous.

Finally, here is one of Chopra’s tw**ts from yesterday. It could serve as the illustration of the dictionary definition of “deepity”:

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Woo of the day

June 22, 2014 • 12:32 pm

Don’t worry; I’ll soon tire of this, but I was energized by Brian Cox’s exchange with Deepakity.

How can a man on safari in Africa still want to tw**t, much less broadcast nonsense like this?

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If consciousness consists, as Chopra says, of subjective sensation, or “qualia,” then who gets your qualia after you die?