How to massage your opossum

July 11, 2024 • 12:30 pm

To end a rough week on a high note, here is  “Crazy Opossum Lady” showing you how to massage your marsupial.

Reader Rosemary sent me this video made by M. E. Pearl. It’s hilarious!  She does this tongue in cheek, of course, but her devotion to these lovely creatures is genuine, and she has many funny videos on possums, always emphasizing that they are harmless (indeed, helpful) and should not be killed.  There are dozens of possum videos on her website.

Do note that opossums do not live very long: as Wikipedia notes:

The Virginia opossum has a maximal lifespan in the wild of only about two years. Even in captivity, opossums live only about four years. The rapid senescence of opossums is thought to reflect the fact that they have few defenses against predators; given that they would have little prospect of living very long regardless, they are not under selective pressure to develop biochemical mechanisms to enable a long lifespan.

Of course, there might be selection to increase the lifespan by evolving antipredator defenses, but given that reproductive senescence may have already evolved, so they lose their ability to reproduce by a certain age (viz,. menopause in human females), those defenses might not include a longer life.

This is one compliant possum.  I hope it enjoyed the massage!

h/t Rosemary

18 thoughts on “How to massage your opossum”

    1. Hah! Delightful! 🙂 She seems like a gem.

      I was wondering if she made a video on brushing their teeth, as she alluded to in the clip Ceiling Cat posted.

      (My moggies like teeth brushing because my cat toothpaste smells like seafood. But my idea of what would happen when trying to brush an opossum’s teeth isn’t so pleasant!)

      1. +1

        Here you go:

        ME Pearl Presents PROPER OPOSSUM DENTAL HYGIENE
        ===================================
        Make sure you use a North American Marsupial Toothbrush – you may find one at a Marsupial Supply Outlet – *if* you are working with an opossum.

        (Frankly, I would be hard-pressed to engage in this activity)

  2. I’m dying! The “sweeping out the aura”!

    But, I don’t know, that baby seems to trust and like her! It might have liked that massage!

    (I have wondered about how to give my moggies the best massages!)

  4. As far as I know, short lifespan is a primitive feature of mammals generally because their endothermy is based on efficient chewing, which is incompatible with the regular tooth replacement of other vertebrates; in other words, mammals live (at best) as long as their permanent dentition lasts. (Birds “chew” with their gizzards and therefore have no such constraint.) During the first two thirds of mammalian evolution, there was no selection pressure for longevity because mammals were regular prey of the dominant carnivorous dinosaurs. Once the dinosaurs were gone, some mammalian groups prolonged their lifespans by accumulating piecemeal changes, but most retained the short life cycle. My understanding of human aging is based on the idea that the human organism is a result of numerous evolutionary ad hoc improvements on an original mammalian body plan fundamentally unsuited for a long life.

  6. I have been informed by all my neighbors that the word has two syllables. Some of them will chuckle when they hear three.

  7. Thank you I needed a smile today. Found my oldest llama deceased this morning so I have been a bit depressed. Your timing for sharing this video was perfect.

  8. According to OSPRI, a crown entity working with farmers to control diseases in cattle, deer etc, on whose productivity NZ depends for a sizeable amount of its foreign income, “possums are the main wildlife carriers of bovine TB in New Zealand, and contact with infected possums is the main cause of herd infection”, so we don’t feel the love for them, especially as introduced animals without natural predators, they are munching their way through our native forests.

    Of course, our pests are Australasian, with the same name but not the same species as the American variety.

  9. ME. Pearl reminds me a bit of Betty Bowers, who explains American Christianity to the rest of us. Viewing the video certainly was a pleasant experience.

  10. ME Pearl is as delightful as her opossums, if not more so. Thanks for telling us about her!

  12. These are all fantastic videos. We have a friend who is a wildlife rehabber, I at need to share.

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