Finish these poems

January 18, 2024 • 7:00 pm

If you’re old enough to recognize these poems, you’re at least 60.  I remember two of them, and both have the same last line.  Your task is to supply the last line, which is the same for both quatrains.

But don’t look at any of the answers in the comments before you guess. I suspect that because we have a “golden years” demographic, the right answer will come soon.

These are from my memory, though I suppose you can find the answers somewhere on the web. No Googling!

Poem#1 (my favorite):

Cattle crossing
Please go slow
Because that old cow
Is some bull’s beau. . .

Poem #2 (this should provide a clue):

In this vale
Of toil and sin
Your head grows bald
But not your chin. . .

26 thoughts on “Finish these poems

  1. “Burma Shave” I remember them well from road trips along Hwy 66 from Los Angeles to Iowa to visit grandparents. Always a contest to be the first to see them.

  2. Ben met Anna
    Made a hit
    Neglected beard
    Ben-Anna Split!
    BURMA SHAVE

    I used to have a book titled Verse By The Side Of The Road which was a history of the Burma Shave signs and included a comprehensive list of the poems.

  3. I wanted to say that!
    I actually wrote it in a comment recently.
    I noticed shortly afterwards someone else did too.

    Burma Shave

    1. Oh, sorry — I see someone posted the same one a few moments before I did. Here is another:

      Round the curve
      Lickety split
      Nice car
      Wasn’t it? …

  4. He lit a match
    To check gas tank
    That’s why they call him
    Skinless Frank

    Burma Shave

    morbid, but I really did see that one when I was kid, just the right age for it to stick.

  5. I have no idea, though I’ve certainly heard of Burma Shave. That just shows you that we never went anywhere when I was a kid.

    1. Curiously, I just remembered one that is not among the 90:

      If you drink don’t drive
      If you drive don’t drink
      Car in the junk heap
      You in the clink

      And many thanks
      For the link

  6. MAD Magazine used to parody them.

    BEER CANS ALONG THE ROAD
    ARE UGLY MANY SAY
    BUT AT NIGHT, REFLECTING BRIGHT
    THEY SAFELY GUIDE THE WAY.

    Once I figured out that the parodies were of real serial billboards, I took comfort that MAD’s “usual gang of idiots” was allowing me to enjoy yet another morsel of American culture that never found its way into Canada.

  7. The signs were carefully spaced to account for the speed limits on the pre-interstate national highways, and each line was kept brief so as to not overly distract drivers’ attention.

  8. I don’t believe there are any more lines. These little poems are complete as is. They are meant 4-line quatrains not 5-line limericks.

    The 2nd one sounds like a Burma-Shave ad that used to be posted sequentially along the highway. It is obviously commercial, to sell shaving cream.

  9. “If you’re old enough to recognize these poems, you’re at least 60.” … and grew up in the United States, of course.

    I’ve heard of the Burma Shave highway ads, but only because Bill Bryson mentioned them in one of his books.

  10. If I didn’t know better I’d say you’ve been reading the Zeroes And Fives series of posts in my blog, almost all of which have included 2-3 Burma-Shave jingles. The one that begins “Within this vale” was the Odells’ favorite and is mine, as well.

  11. Men with whiskers
    ‘Neath their noses
    Ought to kiss
    Like Eskimoses

    Don’t try passing
    On a slope
    Unless you have
    A periscope

    Ihis one is either Burma Shave or maybe Ogden Nash —

    He was right, dead right
    As he sped along
    But he’s just as dead
    As if he’d been dead wrong

    Thanks for the memories.

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