More words I hate

April 18, 2019 • 12:30 pm

It’s time for another edition of Words I hate, with the implicit invitation of readers to share words (or phrases) that they find repugnant. I have but two today:

1.) Relatable. Yes, this is in some dictionaries, but it really grates on me for reasons I can’t understand. Perhaps it’s because HuffPo, my bête noire, uses it so frequently, as in the following article (click on screenshot).

2.) Word.  And here I mean the use of this word in a single sentence, as in this entry from the Urban Dictionary:

But I often see an individual using it to praise themselves, meaning “What I just said was awesome, and pay attention to it.” For example, to put a number of things that irritate me in a single sentence, “Beyoncé’s new album from Coachella just dropped, and it’s awesome. Word.”

Have at it. After all, the purpose of this post is to blow off steam. And if you want to say something like “Languages evolves, and this is fine,” please refrain.

330 thoughts on “More words I hate”

  2. Languages evolve, and this is fine.

    Just joking!

    ‘Problematic’ grates on me, not in itself but in its overuse by woke folk to show their dislike of something. Example: ‘Wow, Richard Dawkins is SO problematic.’ ‘Game of Thrones’s depiction of women is SO problematic.’ Ugh.

      1. Oh god! I hate that word and hear it too often from the mouths of my lecturers. ‘Let’s try and problematize Henry James’s portrayal of women in “The Turn of the Screw”’.

        Give me strength!

        1. Thank gawd I’d never heard that one until now. Now I’ll hear it everywhere. Thanks a bunch🤓

        2. I gather that if one is not part of the solutionizing one is part of the problematizing.

      3. But it’s good to see the word problem at all, instead of issue all the time. I have a problem with issue.

    2. Another weasel word – ‘inappropriate’.

      Inappropriate just means unsuitable in the circumstances. Wearing a top hat while swimming would be inappropriate. Playing a hymn tune at a children’s party would be inappropriate. It does NOT mean bad, offensive or malicious. (At least it didn’t till the mealy-mouthed PC nazis started using it as a euphemism).

      cr

      1. The use of the word “inappropriate” is pervasive in K-12 (at least public) education, when it comes to what language the pedagogical powers that be deem “appropriate” for teachers to use when admonishing juvenile human primates – er, uh, Ah mean angelic students – for their foul language and behavior.

        (The other day I observed a male juvenile human primate exclaim that another primate was physically “ugly.” I duly jotted down the comment on the form this “troubled” student brought to class on a clipboard. It was all I could do to refrain from exclaiming how sweet he was to say that, or asking him if he ever looked in a mirror, or if he could keep an unbroken mirror at home. Or how often he took a bath.)

          1. I called my major professor in grad school “Doc”. My grandfather was also known as “Doc”. He was a small town veterinarian.

          3. Doc was a continuation of labels that annoy us. The only person I have ever called Doc was the 100+ year old pediatrician in Boulder who happened to be from my home town in Indiana, and who 1000’s of families in Boulder greeted as Doc Mauer.

      2. 🙂

        But I fully agree about “buddy” from a stranger. Very patronizing — wittingly (worse) or not.

        I also don’t like it when a stranger or acquaintance calls me by a nickname, which, though common for a person with my first name, is only used towards me by my mother.

        I am careful to find out:
        – How does one properly pronounce someone’s name
        – How do they they prefer to be addressed (I often ask directly)

        And then I strictly address them the way they prefer to be addressed.

        1. You reminded me of another peeve – people using the diminutive of a name. Even if it it not intended, it comes across as condescending. Besides, I’m over 70!! 🙂 One exception – Dougie Buckets when I sink a few 3 pointers.

    2. How ya feel about “Sport,” “Chief,” “Ace,” “Mack,” and “Big Guy”? 🙂

        1. Around here, it is common for cashiers to call the customer “Hon” or “Sweetie”. They think it’s friendly, I find it condescending. Sometimes I tell them I would rather not be called “honey, or whatever term they’ve just used. But, it’s a losing battle. And, even more irritating is when a salesperson, usually a young man, calls me “young lady” (I’m 74). I generally say something along the lines of “I think we both know I’m not a young lady, and I don’t feel flattered to be called young lady, thanks.”

          1. Rita. You are too kind to men who call you, a 74 yr old, a “young lady.” You don’t seem to realise the power of being 74 & female! The next time it happens kick the bloke in the balls or tell him to feck off. Dye your hair some crazy old lady colour [if you want], wear what you want, do what you want – what’s the point of being 74 if you don’t let it all hang out?

      3. As opposed to “Brau” or “Dawg” (as I have been so addressed by juvenile male human primates)? Also, “Slick.”

  4. I have less issues with new words than with the misuse of existing ones. If we say gender when we mean sex, or disinterested when we mean uninterested (to take two common misappropriations) what are we supposed to say when we want to mean gender or disinterested in a sentence?

    1. I agree. Neologisms will either persist in the language or fade depending on their usefulness, but the misuse of existing words and phrases only subtracts. The classic example, of course, is “begs the question”, but that ship has sailed and isn’t coming back. Even to point out its nearly universal misuse is to be branded a pedant. And so the meaning of a phrase describing an important and common logical fallacy is obliterated.

      PCC and everyone else are still entitled to be annoyed by trivialities. 🙂

        1. I don’t even use that because I don’t think I really understand it and it’s used in such narrow ways really.

          1. It USED to mean assuming the truth of an argument or proposition to be proved, without arguing it — fairly abstruse and not something that comes up in day-to-day conversation or among talking heads on cable news.

        2. Don’t you get shit for that?

          I’ve long ago stopped criticizing people’s speech in meaning or grammar, with one exception — my daughter. She loves the game.

    3. No doubt others have mentioned this previously and I missed the posts. Why make a verb out of the noun ‘reference’ when ‘refers to’ has served the English language perfectly well for centuries?

      2. I fight this battle as best I can in my reports at work.

        Refer is the verb. Reference is the noun.

        But this is a losing battle.

        Engineers are not known for their writing ability. I am generally the most sought after reviewer of reports in whatever organization I am part of. Not that I’m a great or always-correct writer. But I care. And I read more books per year than the average ‘Murican reads in a lifetime.

  5. Have we mentioned the term “bougie”, a corruption of bourgeois? My daughter said that recently, and I almost went off.

      2. It ook me a moment at the time. It’s pronounced Boo-zhi, from that and the context, I gussed what it was.

      1. Say what you will about 70s disco, it was fun and didn’t take itself too seriously, unlike a lot of current “music”.

    3. Well if we must use foreign words “bougie” is not derived from bourgeois; it is the french word for “spark plug”

      1. 😜 My favourite French word for something, and it is apropos of Easter, “peep hole”: Judas. I learned it when I read it on a peep hole package (in Canada our packaging is bilingual for those who don’t know).

          3. Yeah, I thought the terminology amusing as well but it’s funnier to sell a Judas.

          4. Especially surrounded by a s**tload of bubblewrap. (Both my 3-yr.-old granddaughters prefer bubblewrap to almost anything that comes wrapped therein.)

          5. So does my dog who, upon hearing a package being opened, comes ripping out of nowhere to snatch the wrap out of your hand.

      2. Bougie is indeed French for spark plug & candle & tampon & other vaguely tubular items, but that certainly doesn’t mean the Afro-American* bougie, boujie, boujee etc, derives from it.

        * The word appears to have gained popularity via an awful hip-hop lyric

  6. Using “Word” as a complete statement is intellectual laziness. The proper expression is “Word to your mother.”

    1. Back in the 90s, I worked in an IT department that was transitioning everyone from Word Perfect to Word. There was a lot of anger and rebellion over it….people had a very strong affection for WP. So, we thought we would just tell everyone it was WP but it was more hip now and just called “Word”.

    1. It’s one of those words that mean the opposite of how it sounds….like universal suffrage.

      1. And people who misuse “fulsome” should be in a jail somewhere. Listening to Johnny Cash.

        1. I’m going to play dumb when they say that again. I’ll say, “isn’t fulsome a prison Johnny Cash sung at?”

      2. “Suffrage,” as in “suffer,” as in “Suffer [put up with, tolerate] the little children [pests] to come unto me.” As if the XY phenotype was having to put up with a lot of suffering to tolerate allowing the XX phenotype the right to vote. The XX phenotype should assign to the XY the privilege of the pain of childbirth, allowing the XY’s to undertake their fair share of suffering.

  8. I would like to advocate for a change in the meaning of the word “malinger”. It *should* mean, “to lurk about with ill intent”, instead of “to feign illness to get out of work”.

    I want this change because it seems (superficially at least) to better match its roots: mal = bad, linger = to stay in a place longer than necessary. Plus, I often want to humorously use this term on my students when I find them in a lab at odd hours of the day or night.

    This change would be analogous to one that has already happened to “nonplussed”, which officially means to be so surprised as to be rendered speechless or uncertain as to how to act. I rarely see it used this way any more. Instead, even news organizations use it to mean its opposite: Imperturbable in the face of a dramatic event. It seems we needed a word with this meaning, nonplussed sounded like it fit the bill, and now this is how it is mostly used.

    So, let’s change the meaning of malinger!

    1. What single word synonym would you use to take up the duties of “malinger” [feign illness]? Small point: Your analysis of the roots is wrong – it comes from the French malingrer it seems which is “to suffer”, which in turn is said to be a mash up of mingre “sickly, miserable” and malade “ill”.

  9. I, personally
    Obamacare
    Ironically [when it isn’t ironic]
    Awesome
    My bad
    No worries
    There you go [table service]

    1. I love no worries. I use it all the time (instead of “no problem”, “you’re welcome”), after absorbing it traveling around Australia, NZ, and Ireland.

      Curious why you find it irritating (of course this is all just personal taste).

      I also often say “cheers” for thanks.

      1. “No worries”: To me it closes off an interaction somewhat while there are warmer, more thoughtful or wittier replies that open up conversational possibilities.

        Depending on my relationship to the other party I might say “it was a pleasure”, “the pleasure’s mine”, “you deserve it!”, “it was fun to do” – what you never say of course is “it’s my job.”

        Even when it’s an impersonal interaction with a stranger there’s usually a more interesting response that shows one has been paying attention to events or to the personality of the other person:

        “Thank you so much for fixing that, I was worried I’d miss Downton Abbey, Fox News, or x”
        Replying with “no worries” is safe, but there’s warmer or wittier & more attentive replies that can raise the game. Get them to laugh for example.

        “No worries” is dull.

        1. Oh, yes, regarding personal interactions, I make a point of thanking people and with specifics.

          As I read from some one, some time: No one hears their name or “thank you” enough.

          I tend to put it (thanks) in writing (email) and cc the person’s boss. This works wonders for collegial teamwork.

        1. Yes, a lot of people like those phrases to death – here, there & everywhere. 🙂

        2. It’s always nice to kick up your “awesome” with “awesome sauce”. Or, as Jerry would like, “to up your ‘awesome’ game and rock ‘awesome sauce'”.

      4. I say “no worries” as well. Usually in response to someone apologizing for something. As a Canadian, I find I have to say “no worries” a lot because Canadians apologize a lot.

        1. I say ‘no worries’. It’s a convenient way of winding down a conversation after you’ve given someone a hand with something. Gets around the potentially awkward moment when they’re wondering how to say thanks in an appropriate fashion.

          cr

      1. LOL – Pizza Hut informal. I’d rather go somewhere with more of a ceremonial flourish [without fake accents etc though] & damn the cost.

        1. “Pizza Hut Informal” sounds like a horrid dress code – the one where you wear cargo shorts, flip flops, and a shirt from your gym work out two days ago that you just pulled out of your gym bag.

          1. Cargo shorts – the death of ‘cool’ or the Wetherspoons customer look [cheap beer & grub pub chain] over here. Even the retired, stick legged geezers wear them now.

          2. I wear cargo shorts all the time, with sandals or bare feet. Can’t be arsed with trousers. Invariably, if the trouser waist is right, the leg length is wrong. With shorts, the length doesn’t matter. So long as they’ve got plenty of pockets. And trousers look odd with sandals and positively weird with bare feet.

            Don’t give a stuff about ‘cool’.

            cr

          4. Well my present shorts wot I am wearing right now are camouflage pattern, and have eight pockets (I really like that. Can’t have too many pockets). They go nicely with my sandals (which have camouflage-pattern Velcro straps) and my ‘Aussie hat’ also in camouflage. Altogether they make me 70% invisible 😎

            cr

    4. Oh, yes, ‘awesome’. I’ve ranted before about this.

      Nothing wrong with ‘awesome’ in it’s original meaning of awe-inspiring.

      But – “Would you like sugar in your coffee?” – “That’d be awesome”. NO IT F*&&^%$%G WOULDN’T.

      Usually mispronounced ‘ossum’. The opposite is presumably ‘offal’.

      cr

      1. Oh, and I loathe ‘my bad’. Your bad – WHAT? ‘Bad’ is an adjective, ffs.

        I suppose the apt response to ‘My bad’ is “Your grammar certainly is”.

        Oh, and I loathe, detest and deplore ‘Word.’ Another crime against grammar.

        cr

  10. I dislike “relatable,” too; it ranks (and rankles) right there with “concerning” for me.

    “Word,” I’ve got no problem with, except it hasn’t been hip or cool since before the heyday of Vanilla Ice. 🙂

    2. Yet, 25 years ago in my last job in an English-speaking environment, ‘guys’ was often used by several female staff when addressing a majority female department. I strongly doubt that they were subservient to any patriarchy.

      My peeves include:
      1) ‘Speaking for a friend’ tagged on to internet comments;
      2) ‘we’ used in variations of ‘How are we feeling/going this morning?’

      1. That “we” can be so patronizing, though my very nice female vet uses it when referring to my dog or cats. Hate it when waitstaff use it. “Guys” doesn’t bother me.

    3. Concur. Though I gather that at U.S. Marine Corps basic training, the drill instructors over the years have enthusiastically addressed their male charges as “ladies.”

        1. That’s a good example; and obviously timely and humorous as well.

          I think that may be an legal term (phrase) of art.

          The charge for obstructing justice.

  13. “Relatable” used in my writing class as a student comment on another student’s writing MAKES ME CRAZY. It’s a non-response. “I find this story really relatable.” YEP, THE STUDENT FKG TOLD IT ALL RIGHT.

    That and “flows.” “The story really flows.”

    Like shit down your leg.

    1. That’s because it’s an abstraction that has nothing behind it…ie: an abstraction of nothing. I find this all the time when you ask people stuff even at work – you have to keep asking what they mean by that until you get any substance. I think it’s just a way for them to say something to look smart and engaged when they don’t really know how to articulate what they want to tell you.

  16. I quite enjoy the Canadian maritime use of “buddy” in the third person. As a substitute for “the guy”. Example: Buddy went to the shop and got a beer.

    1. I hear “dude” used the same way, also without a the definite article “the.” (“Dude split before the cops arrived.”)

  17. I’m sure this comes up often, but using jealous when you mean envious. Like saying that you’re jealous of this or that celebrity. I imagine they’d be surprised to know that seeing as you don’t even know them.

  18. Societal. What’s wrong with social?

    Doable. it may be a valid word but I much prefer possible.

    1. Societology – a new academic field?

      Hmm, I wonder – of what would “societal media” consist?

  19. Even though I loathe Trump, I hate it when he is referred to as Drumpf. I’m not a Christian but I hate it when Jesus is referred to as Jebus. There’s a self satisfied “Ha! Take that!” implied. They think they’re being clever when they’re being the opposite.

    1. I concur. John Oliver always does this kind of thing — making fun of “foreign” names and “foreign” accents. It’s only funny if you’re an ignoramus who’s never tried to speak another language.

      And if we want to laugh about national stereotypes, how about starting with stuck up poms who think there’s something inherently funny in the fact that languages other than English exist.

      (In other news, one German name that is kinda interesting is the original form of Boeing — here in Germany it’s spelled Böing. I still find that kinda funny, just because it would have been a much better name for a company that makes engine parts!)

      1. I just go with assface. Problem is I know so many assfaces it’s hard to know who I’m talking about until I provide enough information in my story for context.

  20. As long as we’re airing usage beefs, I’ve got a couple questions:

    Has the distinction between “like” and “as” disappeared? (“Like” is a preposition; “as,” a conjunction, introducing a clause. Thus, “I complain in comments like this” but “I hate ‘relatable,’ just as Jerry hates it”.) I try to observe the distinction, at least in formal writing, but more and more I see writers, even educated and otherwise articulate writers, using “like” where “as” would ordinarily be considered appropriate.

    How about “if” and “whether”? “If” is conditional (“If the cold front comes through, it will snow”/”If he shows up, we’ll go to the party”). “Whether” indicates an alternative (“I don’t know whether she’s going”). I often see (and sometimes find myself using) “if” where “whether” would be considered appropriate. The rule of thumb I try to go with is, if you could add “or not,” go with “whether.”

    1. A good rule of thumb! You’re also right about slippage regarding “as” and “like”. When it comes to another use of “like”, I hate the whole “he was like” to mean “he said” habit.

      1. I have a habit of saying things like, “he was all like….” if I’m telling a story to friends informally. I think it makes my stories mildly more amusing though because they are peppered with colourful, sweary language.

    2. “Has the distinction between ‘like’ and ‘as’ disappeared?”

      Yes, Ken, that distinction has been long lost. I believe the loss can be traced back to Shakespeare’s “Like You As it.” 😊

      1. Damn Elizabethans!

        I had the blame tracing back only so far as to Winstons — you know, the ones that “taste good like a cigarette should.”

        1. I always think there should not be an apostrophe in Labour’s, but of course there is.

    3. I attended Catholic high school and this comment takes me way back to Sr. Lenore’s English class. For the life of me, I could not manage to distinguish between “like” and “as” and “as if”.

      To compound the matter, it was the age of the Beats and pseudo-Beats, so a “like” was frequently used as a linguistic filler and appended to the beginning of sentences as in “Like, dude…”

      I wanted to be hip and I’d picked up that locution (along with a pair of bongo drums).

      I hated to be called on in class because of
      my profound linguistic deficiency in that regard, especially because when I was nervous (and being called on in class made me very unsure of myself), I would invariably start a sentence with “like” as well as misusing the word within a sentence. This exasperated Sr Lenore to no end, and it went on for the entire semester. In time it became an occasion for much mirth The rest of the class would laugh and so would I, and even Sr. Lenore. I played the court jester quite well — what else to do but laugh at oneself. Needless to say, I was not her best student; in fact, I was at the bottom of the class.

      I still confuse them because the habit is deeply ingrained. I have, though, managed to banish the Beatnik filler “like” from my word-hoard.

      1. “I wanted to be hip and I’d picked up that locution (along with a pair of bongo drums).”

        Dig it: Maynard G. Krebs, linguist. 🙂

        2. During roughly the same years that “The Many Lives of Dobie Gillis” aired on television, bringing sanitized, Hollywood beatnik-lite to the nation, down at Venice Beach, CA, the real beats ruled at the Gas House https://www.kcet.org/history-society/the-gas-house-beatniks-vs-neatniks-and-the-battle-for-venice-beachs-soul. A fascinating bit of local color.

          One evening during the summer before I went to college, I donned my black turtleneck, might even have had a beret that I was too chicken to actually wear,took my bongos, boarded a city bus and went down to the Gas House in Venice. I tried to pretend I was hip, though “hip” was “hep” then. I didn’t know what the heck I was doing — should I start playing my bongos, get up and declaim free form poetry ex tempore? The denizens of the Gas House knew I wasn’t authentic and ignored me; and I found the place, not exciting but depressing, dreary and grubby. That marked the end of my beatnik infatuation, and I gravitated toward the Continental enfants-terribles

          2. … “hip” was “hep” then.

            Dave Frishberg knows where you’re comin’ from, Jenny:

          5. Do you hand the song out to new clients on a thumb drive (or are those now obsolete)?

  21. Adjectives: “comedic” for “comic”.

    What’s next, “tragedic” for “tragic”?

    1. Been lucky I guess, in that I’ve yet to encounter “tragedic” (and wouldn’t know how to pronounce it if I did). 🙂

  22. What gets my goat is people saying someone is “flaunting the law” when they mean the opposite — flouting the law.

      1. Ha ha flaunting the law. “Ha ha well you get a fine for going over the speed limit and that makes me proud”.

  23. If you object to a word like “relatable” (which I’m not crazy about, either) then I think it’s incumbent on you to suggest a synonym in current use. I can’t think of one with the precise meaning. Can you?

    2. Personable? Empathic? Simpatico?

      One of the problems with “relatable” is the uncertainty of what it is supposed to mean — is it “capable of being related to”?

  24. My main gripe is more with the lazy ubiquity of certain phrases than with the words themselves. Current examples include describing a default option as a “go to” and tagging “going forward” onto a sentence that is clearly about the future anyway.

  25. A related gripe, or perhaps “grype,” of mine is when people naming a company change the spelling of a common word when the alternate spelling is not a pun and has no effect on the sound–as in “Grypmat: the world’s best non-slip tool tray.” This not only serves no purpose but makes the name of the company harder to find in a search. Drive me crazy.

    1. That serves the very obvious purpose of making that company the only Google result. Also, Gripmat was already an existing and different product (for card games) for years before Grypmat was announced (for tools).

  26. A word I love but that most probably do not know because my kids invented it when they were about 1-1/2 years old, butched. They would use this word in play and when telling on each other and we couldn’t figure it out at first.

    Finally we were able to figure out that they had a children’s book about different occupations. There would be a picture and the name of the profession. One was a butcher. The picture showed a butcher in the midst of chopping a piece of meat, arm raised. They took the noun and using a common convention for turning a noun into a verb they created “butched.” Typical usage would be, “He butched me!”

    A lovely example of the astounding ability of kids to learn language that Steven Pinker wrote about in The Language Instinct. I used to have so much fun giving the twins a new word and then sitting back and watching them test the shit out of it to figure out how to use it.

    2. OMG I love that! I think I want to use it. I never was particularly creative at making my own words – just stringing existing ones together to amuse myself and others. I recently read a hilarious list floating around the internet about sayings kids came up with. One was “I have cow-like reflexes”. I am waiting to use that one.

      3. According to the Pinker kids are much better at it (making up words) than we adults are. I’m a bit jealous of that!

    3. Banished from my sister Terry’s room as it was her territory, I claimed my room as my paulitory.
      I also thought pitch, as in pitch black, meant extreme. Naturally there was pitch blue, pitch red…..
      Nearly sixty and she still reminds of my youthful predilections. Sometimes words can haunt you. 🙂

      1. You’d have learned your lesson about “pitch” had you ever had to put a fresh coat of tar on the roof above the territory and paulitory. 🙂

      2. “Paulitory” is . . ., dare I say it(?), awesome. Makes perfect sense. I’d be proud of that one.

    4. Great story.

      My son as a young boy had overheard us discussing someone going bankrupt and tried to re-tell the story using words that made sense to him – ‘bank-robbed’.

  27. Fulsome. I find this is in the culture of higher ed. “We need to have a fulsome conversation”.

      1. Haha. It takes a lot for me not to groan audibly. It’s horrible to see it written in documents.

      2. Being made to do hard time for a simple usage error seems like fulsome punishment.

  28. Table service “Are WE ready to order?” One of these days I’m going to reply “I wasn’t aware that you were joining us”. Won’t do it as serving tables is a low wage, mostly thankless job. I know. Did it for many years for $1 an hour with many folks leaving $0 tip. Because of this I’m a big tipper.

      1. You need to respond that way from now on. “Don’t include yourself in the group, Karen, I’m out with my WIFE!”.

        1. When the Bill comes you could try “Karen, thank you so much – I make your 1/3 to be $27.54, or do you get a staff discount that needs to be applied to your part of the bill?”

    2. I never was a waiter; but my wife was. I honestly feel it is better to give than to receive. We are big tippers.

      Drives my skinflint brothers crazy!

    3. If I ever go berserk in public, it will probably be the next time a server says “How are those first few bites”.

      2. I hope that if you do, there is biting involved. I expect to read a headline, “Man goes Bessel in restaurant. Bites server.

      4. Respectfully request that you consider that servers (servants, serfs, wage slaves) are put upon by management (and CEO’s and self-absorbed, manual labor-averse capitalist investors), all in the service of profit maximization/investor return, to utter such irritating locutions.

  29. Stat. As in, nurse get me a thermometer, stat. Stat sounds like a hip-cool abbreviation of “statue”, and it sounds like everyone wants nurses to get thermometer statues all the time.

    1. I know ‘stat’ comes from the Latin ‘statim’ but it does seem unnecessary.

      Doctor: Get the crash team nurse.
      Nurse: Well she didn’t say stat so I’ll take my time.

  30. Languages evolve, so do pathogens.

    When the wife and I go out for a meal what really winds us both up is being adressed as ‘guys’.
    I am not a guy I am a grumpy middle-aged man and so is my wife(well near enough).

    1. A wait staff related one that I hear and hate is “are you still working on that”. If I consider it “work” to eat their food I’m not coming back.

      And while I’m at it why the heck do they think it’s OK to clear plates when half the people are still eating?

      And why are they pouring out wine that I’m paying for, beyond the first glass.

      Mutter

      1. And if you’re working on something, why are you paying them & not the other way around?

      3. Everyone here complaining about waiters should come to Germany. Waiters are unbelievably well mannered here. Even the kids working in Burger King are more polite than Australian and English waiters!

        1. I’ve always found Germans to be exceedingly polite compared to the English speaking world. People laugh when I say this but it’s really been my experience that Germans are polite and thoughtful.

        2. Yes! And the French, in my experience.

          Really, almost everywhere in western Europe. I think because it is viewed as an honorable profession in Europe, not bottom of the barrel, as it often seems to be viewed (here) in the US.

      1. I took “the wife” out for a test drive once, way back in ye olden times fight after I first got married. A feminist friend who overheard it pulled me aside by the sleeve and explained to knock that crap off.

        Haven’t used it since, except when talking with that same feminist friend, with a wink, as an inside joke between us.

  31. All this commentary, and not a single nomination of “you know”. There’s still nothing more ubiquitous. Has everybody just given up, and accepted this criminal bit of verbal diarrhea as normal? Have you all stopped noticing?

    If I already know, why are you telling me again?

    1. I hate that I say that. I’ve picked up all these bad habits from other people. I am trying to stop all verbal diarrhoea, especially when presenting. I heard myself say “I’m gonna kinda” and almost died.

      1. I’ve worked very hard to completely eliminate the “uhs” and “ers”, the verbal punctuation one does when collecting one’s thoughts.

        I always thought it sounded ridiculous and I’ve made myself just be silent in those moments.

        1. I, too, have worked hard to get rid of those filler words and sub-lexical exhalations, and I continue to work on that. It’s too easy for me to be influenced by the linguistic environment I find myself in – even passive listening on the radio.

          I find it interesting that different languages have a particular repetoire of words and sounds to accomplish this. Many Arabic speakers use the Arabic equivalent of “you know.” I notice many Israeli speakers, especially men, preface responses with a kind of schwa that’s drawn out and slightly nasal. I wonder what fillers speakers of other languages use.

          1. One thing that struck me very strongly when I first traveled to Europe (back in the Pleistocene), was the way my friends and relatives there (everywhere, really, but especially in Scandinavia) made acknowledgement of having hear me.

            You know, in the US, most people will punctuate what the other person is saying with something like, “uh-huh”, or “hmmm?”

            In Scandinavia (and elsewhere) the response was a sudden intake of breath. Kind of like what I expect in a startle reaction. I thought I was frightening them for a while! 🙂

          3. I have seen that in Scandahoovian films and tv shows. Kinda cool once you get used to it.

          4. My Mum from Co. Mayo & two of her three siblings did the sharp intake of breath acknowledgement too – perhaps there’s a connection via the Norse. I have a great affinity for the Scandi appreciation of rugged landscape, cold, winds & long dark evenings of games, stories & music.

          5. and the aunts loved the old gossip about those not present. For them a pot of tea & the subtle unpicking of the neighbours was an evening [or even a whole day] well spent.

          6. Of course the tea! I get such a kick out of whatever the circumstances in British shows (murder, love, mahem, whatevs) someone always immediately puts/pops the kettle on🤓

  32. I am bothered by the mispronunciation of the French word voilà (spelled here with an accent grave, which may not survive posting). In current American usage it seems to be pronounced “walla”; not always but increasingly. “Walla” sounds like “Wallah!” which I know as an Arabic exclamation.

    There’s also a very annoying commercial I hear on the radio, at the end of which, a young woman exclaims “Yamonos!” I can find no meaning for this word, either in Spanish or English. I suspect it’s a mispronunciation of the Spanish “Vamonos” “let’s go.” But I’m not sure.

    1. Or as a friend of mine used to say, “Viola!” [pronounced like the string instrument], and then sotto voce “an instrument slightly larger than a violin …” with a smile on his face.

      🙂

      I find I cannot pronounce foreign words, especially: French, German, Spanish, Italian, in the ‘Murican mispronounced way anymore. (E.g. Bon Ami cleanser). My language reflex (French word: French pronunciation) is too strong now. I get funny looks …

    2. I think they’re saying in Spanish “Call us!”, i.e. “Llamanos!” (sorry, I don’t kknow how to insert the leading upside-down exclamation point). The double Ls are pronounced like a Y.

        1. LL is pronounced differently in different Spanish speaking countries. Castilians generally pronounce it as a Y. So pollo (for chicken) is pronounced poyo.

          1. Yeah, polyo or poyo. And yo (I) can be yo or jo. And Spanish speakers can pronounce you as jew, not to mention putting an E in front of anytging b3ginning with an S. My Salvadoran sister-in-law calls my brother Esteve.

          3. When I visited Venezuela in the early 70s, before it had fallen apart, I always got a kick out of the giant billboards advertising Pollo Kentucky Chicken. A little redundant methinks, but then here in Canada stuff is often advertised with the brand-name in the middle, the English modifier first, and the French one after.

  33. The word that grates me most is women using the word “hubby” to talk about their husband. Not sure how common it is in America but where I come from, women use this at the work place when talking about their spouses or even when introducing them as in “Hi, meet my hubby xxxx.” Just how annoying that is, is hard to express.

    1. As opposed to “wifey”? Or “my Old Lady’? (Which I suspect is restricted to south of the Mason-Dixon line and east of the Mississippi River)?

  34. I tend to take terms I read in the Urban dictionary with a grain of salt, in rural dictionaries with a grain of pepper, and suburban dictionaries with a shot of bourbon or two…thereby causing a surplus of suburban dictionaries and a shortage of bourbon in my home.😾

    1. I take things I read in the urban dictionary with a slice of avocado toast and a man bun.

  35. I can see the difference when “relatable” is used in the headline. I felt a wave of revulsion. So I think it’s context dependent.

    “Word” – I would point out that I think it is used in a comical or silly sense now, joking around having been brought to the common parlance by Vanilla Ice. So in using the term, people I think ( I hope) are poking fun at Vanilla Ice.

    Also, “word” is used in the theme song of otherwise good children’s tv show “Word Girl” that shows the meaning of interesting words. Don’t ask me how I know that.

  36. I hear “amazeballs” once in a while. For those times when “amazing” just isn’t good enough.
    I think it’s used by the same type of people who say “beautimus.”

    2. I like saying amazeballs at work because it sounds marginally puerile and dirty. People react with excitement and embarrassment when I say it.

    3. Those are emphatics. To my ear, they’re amusing, could easily be overdone, and will likely fade.

  37. Swum is a word. That always gets me.

    Swum

    🙄

    Put it in the wordspeak dictionary…

  38. Big Bang
    invite (for invitation)
    quote (for quotation)
    impact (as a verb)
    believe (as in ‘do you believe in evolution’)

  39. I never use the “favorites” folder in any software. I would if it was called “transitorily important”.

      1. + another

        Also ‘My Documents’, ‘My Pictures’ etc (as preordained by Microsoft) at a time when it was being impressed upon us serfs that ‘our’ computers belonged to the company and the IT Manager’s policies would be strictly enforced.

        cr

  40. Here’s one which doiesn’t bother so much as amuse me — mispronouncing of the German word Putsch. Hitch used to do this and I’ve heard others too. In fact it is related to and pronounced like the English ‘push’ only with a ‘t’ in it. But they always try to use some exotic pronunciation turn it into ‘pooch’.

    So Hitler’s 1925 Beer-hall Putsch gets turned into the “beer-hall pooch”, which makes it sound like a friendly old labrador.

    3. Not that this was unique to Hitch, but, he occasionally used the word – if I HEARD it correctly “qui(p?)-zot-tic.” Re: “Don Quixote”)

      Whither the apparent “z” in the pronunciation, inasmuch as “Quixote” is not pronounced with a “z” sound – Don Quip – zot – ic? (At least I’ve never heard it so pronounced.)

      1. It is difficult to clearly split kwik-sotic in the flow of speaking because one has to abruptly change tongue position at the end of “kwik” to be able to bowl an accurate “sotic” with an “s” beginning. As a Brit at least it’s much easier to say “kwik-zotic” or “kwiks-zotic” or “kwiks-sotic”.

        As Hitchens drank his stresses & pronunciation changed*, but I doubt he’d let a stray “p” wander into “quixotic”

        * His evening chat, 7pm to 8.30pm, on stage with Tim Rutton discussing God Is Not Great is particularly fine as Hitch is already well oiled before the start & I think the innocent bottle he keeps swigging contained fire water – he’s thoroughly glazed & slurring by the end. [LA Public Library, 2007, ALOUD series of talks]

        THE VIDEO Also apropos nowt – note 1:08:00 when one of the GWOT loons who followed him around gets the chance to ask a question [or rather preach]

        1. Brits have a custom of refusing to even make an attempt at pronouncing a foreign word or name in the manner of the foreign language, instead substituting an often brutal Anglicized version.

          2. That’s ok; we Yanks make little effort to pronounce English words English-like. 🙂

  41. On point!

    I haaaaaaate that phrase!!!

    “That meal was on point!”

    “The service was on point!”

    “That concert was on point!”

    Aaagh! What does it even mean? It seems entirely empty of description. But it seems the younger generation can’t stop using this phrase. (Particularly ubiquitous on Yelp reviews – “Burger was on point!”)

    2. Those examples are objectionable to me because of their trivial contexts, but the phrase “on point” has weight.

      1. It’s used as a term of art in the law, as in “that opinion is on point” — meaning that it addresses the same issue as the case under consideration.

  42. I grit my teeth when I hear…

    “Problematic”

    “My bad”

    When someone says,“OMG” instead of just saying,”Oh my god.”.

    Or when people, particularly young people, continually pepper their conversation with, “like”.

    I could go on and on.

    1. I couldn’t arouse any interest in “you know”, so I suppose we have to accept it now as Standard English. Your meaningless “like” is closely allied, and may also have achieved Standard status.

      Keep your eyes on the rapidly rising universality of the I’m-afraid-to-actually-say-it modifiers, the inappropriate “sort-ofs”, “kindas”, &c., spatchcocked in everywhere.

      I fairly recently heard the apex idiocy of this type on the wireless. I logged the item, but can’t re-find it on short notice. The speaker referred to some person as being “sort-of dead”.

      1. “You know”, especially on the radio.
        I reply: “If I know, then why are you telling me?”

      2. I’m hearing “sort-of” and “kind-of” more and more, especially on NPR. Makes me wonder if 2 + 2 is “kind of” 4.

    2. ‘Oh my god’ niggles me too. Especially when faux-emphasised as ‘Oh. My. God.’

      Watch any Youboob video of a crash at an air show and you can guarantee that somebody in the background will be saying “Oh. My. God. Oh. My. God. Oh. My. God” on autorepeat.

      cr

  43. Lately I hear a lot of adults saying “Me and him went there.” One person who said this is a teacher.

    1. Especially if it’s coffee or red wine. I had my will re-done a couple of years ago and the lawyer sneezed all over the 10 pages or so which I had to sign and initial. I got the first (nasty) cold I’d had in about 10 years right before having to drive across the country. When I got back I asked her if she was trying to kill me and if she had written herself into my will.

  45. And if you want to say something like “Languages evolves, and this is fine,” please refrain.

    One component of evolution is natural selection, which acts to cull the variations and mutations that aren’t any good.

    Languages do evolve but without the people who try to enforce the rules, they would quickly become unfit for purpose.

    1. It is true that language evolves. However, it does not mean that we have to like the silly words that people utilize 🙂

  46. My nomination today is “utilise”. Why utilise three letters when seven will do?

    Also “burglarise”. “my house was burglarised last night” What? It was turned into a burglar?

    1. “Utilize” makes sense, I think, when an item is being put to other than its usual and intended use (as in “I utilized the screwdriver to pry open the door”), but it’s utilized ( 🙂 ) way too often as a fancy-pants synonym for “use” — a frequent problem with words that end in “ize”.

        1. Sure, you could utilize “use” in such circumstances, but then you’d lose the subtle distinction created by using “utilize.” 🙂

          Of such subtle distinctions, are careful and congenial prose often made.

          1. Aaarrggh. I might utilize said screwdriver to (subtly (split infinitive duly noted)) screw said congenial commentor’s mouth shut🤓

          2. I think the difference, if it exists is far to subtle for most people to notice. The only place where I see “utilise” utilised is in business and technical documents where the authors are probably under the impression that “utilise sound s more “professional”.

            Nobody says “utilise” in every day speech.

          3. Yeah, except that I think “utilize” is used too often in everyday speech by those aiming for a false elegance.

            I reserve “utilize” for those rare occasions when it may not be clear from context alone that something it being put to other than its intended us.

      3. “burgle” is standard British English. If you use “burglarise*” that immediately marks you out as being from across the pond.

        *I should sell it with a “z” given that it is an Americanism, instead of an “s”, but I can’t be bothered to fight auto-correct. I guess that means that it is a real word in British English.

  47. When someone escapes from prison they’re invariably called an escapee. Shouldn’t they be called an escaper? The prison guards are the escapees.

    1. Which brings me to my disdain of the word, “mentee”. It’s mentor and protégé not mentor and mentee.

        1. Yes and people use it a lot. I always envision a manatee when I hear it. I think they think that mentee sounds less pretentious than protégé but to me it sounds wrong and silly.

      4. “Mentee” is just awful, but at least it’s grammatical, unlike “escapee”.

  48. People do and say all sorts of things to appear “cool” but often look stupid doing so. Herd mentality?

  49. I’m annoyed when African Americans refer to other black people as “brother”, implicitly excluding other races, especially whites. I’m also annoyed when (typically feminist) women refer to other women as “sister”. Those usages strike me as racist and sexist, respectively.

    2. I don’t find that too bothersome but I find it creepy when unions use it because it seems like subtle cult-like behaviour.

    3. I hear white guys refer to each other as “brother” fairly often (and occasionally use it myself), but generally in a jocular sense.

      It was in common usage during the counterculture days, but I think it dates back to the Great Depression era and “Brother, Can You Spare a Dime”.

    1. Of course not. 🙂

      I occasionally (or perhaps more than occasionally) dish it; I damn well can (and better be able to) take it. 🙂

      That I’ve got thin skin should be the least of your worries, Merilee.

      1. I figured as much Ken. That I got no smart-ass in return worried me for an instant.🤓

      1. I feel the same was about “alls,” as in “alls I want to do …”

        I went out with a woman once who used it; there was no second date. I mean, much as I hate to come off as some kind of elitist prick, I couldn’t risk having to hear it a second time, ya know? 🙂

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