In which I get a personalized Facebook ad!

I’ve been complaining on my Facebook page about the volume of ads I get, and how I try to make them more infrequent by clicking on each one and saying “it’s not relevant to me.” My hope, which of course is futile, is that this will eventually eliminate the ads completely, since nothing will be seen as relevant to my interests. I know that this won’t work, but I have no choice.

In response, reader Joe McClain posted MY OWN PERSONAL FACEBOOK AD on my siteβ€”for a retirement community called “Old Feline-Atheist Retirement Towne”, abbreviated Olde Fart. (He’s from Williamsburg and uses colonial spelling.)

Now here’s a place I could live in my dotage! If only such a place existed. Baby lions and leopards on site!


  1. Carl S
    Posted May 1, 2018 at 8:07 am | Permalink


  2. Frank Bath
    Posted May 1, 2018 at 8:07 am | Permalink

    Great, see you there. Any ducks?

  3. Randall Schenck
    Posted May 1, 2018 at 8:08 am | Permalink

    Great, so when do you move in? Just the no dumb asses would do it for me. A community in the U.S. without dumb asses does not currently exist. The white house has a moron and known idiot and that is first hand from his own staff.

    • W.T. Effingham
      Posted May 1, 2018 at 10:04 am | Permalink

      The sad thing is he suffers a severe hereditary form of affluenza which apparently does not skip generations.This condition is what disables any sense of humility, empathy, and in his case self-awareness.

  4. Posted May 1, 2018 at 8:08 am | Permalink

    Faeces Book – I refuse to do.
    Twi#ter on the other hand is a constant source of brief but useful info & links to articles that DO interest me. I do not have it on all the time so inevitably there is much I miss, but there is life away from screens.
    PLEASE SOMEBODY, get Jerry a session with a lion/tiger/other large Felid cub! πŸ˜‰

  5. Posted May 1, 2018 at 8:09 am | Permalink

    Where are de *rigueur* ducks? Don’t go there, they are likely on the menu…

  6. Damien McLeod
    Posted May 1, 2018 at 8:14 am | Permalink

    Gee, if they build it I hope they include low cost RV spots for old leaky largely non-functional Winnebago’s. Us feline loving atheist poor folk need places to park our rigs.

    • Randall Schenck
      Posted May 1, 2018 at 8:18 am | Permalink

      I think that would be an annex, maybe a few miles down the road.

  7. caracal
    Posted May 1, 2018 at 8:16 am | Permalink

    “but I have no choice.” Such a determinist you are! πŸ™‚

  8. Posted May 1, 2018 at 8:42 am | Permalink

    If only all pension plans were preferentially manufactured to assuage the agonies of gerontology in an unenlightened biosphere.

  9. peter
    Posted May 1, 2018 at 8:55 am | Permalink

    Have you tried adblockers? Or is Adblock Plus forbidden on facebook?

    • BJ
      Posted May 1, 2018 at 10:12 am | Permalink

      I second this. I haven’t used Facebook in years, but when I did, ad blockers worked just fine. I can’t imagine that Facebook denies access to those using such software, as about 26% of desktop computer users employ them.

      Jerry, you should definitely consider using some kind of ad blocker (unless you have a moral objection to doing so). If you use the Chrome web browser, go to this link and install this extension:

    • bPer
      Posted May 2, 2018 at 2:09 pm | Permalink

      I use Adblock Plus and it works fine with Facebook.

      I also use an extension called Facebook Purity. As well as removing all ads from FB by default, it has oodles of options to tweak just about every part of FB. I’ve got FB whittled down to just the stuff I’m interested in.

      If all else fails and you’re using a compatible browser (e.g. Firefox), you can install Greasemonkey. It allows you to tweak a given webpage in just about any way, using Javascript. I use it to clean out unwanted content, change fonts, widen columns to make better use of my screen, etc.

  10. Posted May 1, 2018 at 9:12 am | Permalink

    Woo-free?! Actually the first words one would spew forth would be WOO-HOO!

    • W.T. Effingham
      Posted May 1, 2018 at 10:07 am | Permalink

      Since supply will greatly exceed demand, developers will spew forth, “KA-Ching!” .

      • W.T. Effingham
        Posted May 1, 2018 at 10:51 am | Permalink

        I reverse – entered demand and supply…😨.

  11. BJ
    Posted May 1, 2018 at 10:04 am | Permalink

    Awww, this is so adorable and brilliant!

    Joe McClain, you’re a genius!

  12. Mark R.
    Posted May 1, 2018 at 12:15 pm | Permalink

    “No Dumb-asses”
    Now there’s a tag-line! I’m in.

    • BJ
      Posted May 1, 2018 at 4:35 pm | Permalink

      Should be in front of every movie theater in the world.

  13. Posted May 1, 2018 at 4:43 pm | Permalink

    I don’t have a Facebook account, but I have to say “Old Feline-Atheist Retirement Towne” sounds fun. Unfortunately, as my wife is still working, I guess I wouldn’t be eligible… yet…

  14. infiniteimprobabilit
    Posted May 1, 2018 at 5:48 pm | Permalink

    And here is your very own personalised FART train:

    Ferrovie Autolinee Regionali Ticinesi, in case you need to know. A.k.a. ‘Centovalli’.
    I first saw it in 1991, but I had to wait 22 years before I had a chance to snap it. They had a new train but I was overjoyed to see they hadn’t changed the name.


    • Posted May 2, 2018 at 11:15 am | Permalink

      Does that organization suffer from the problem Fucking, Austria does? (People stealing their signs.)

  15. Diane Garlick
    Posted May 2, 2018 at 3:12 am | Permalink

    Ha, ha, great job, Joe!

  16. Mike
    Posted May 2, 2018 at 8:06 am | Permalink

    Suit me, down to the ground.

  17. Joseph McClain
    Posted May 2, 2018 at 11:51 am | Permalink

    Thanks for the kind words, all. It was fun and Prof. CC (E) gave me the perfect opening. (And yes, there are ducks. And squirrels.) WiFi throughout Olde FART, except PuffHo doesn’t always load.

  18. drakodoc
    Posted May 3, 2018 at 2:01 pm | Permalink

    I would be very interested in retiring here, but it really depends on da community ROOLZ…

  19. Andrea Kenner
    Posted May 4, 2018 at 10:00 pm | Permalink

    OMG, LOL!

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