by Grania
(This is completely spoiler-free)
This is not a review of The Last Jedi, that will come in a day or so, it’s just a point-and-roll-eyes at an op ed in io9 titled “I Need to Talk About Luke’s Beverage in The Last Jedi“. The author writes that this scene was ” truly disturbing, and in the worst possible way.”
You see, at a certain rambling dialogue-free sequence, Luke milks a space-cow and then takes a swig of space-milk from a space-bottle.
I know.
Wait until the poor writer finds out about cows. Or mammals of the female persuasion.
Actually, what really bothers the writer is that the space-cows when on land and not in the sea tend to the vertical rather than horizontal, like our quadrupedal bovines are wont to do; which makes their udders slightly less udder-like and slightly more breast-like.
This is why we don’t find bonobos in the zoo, ladies and gentlemen: it is too much of a reminder that we humans are mammals.
[Edit: now we know why it’s the worst thing you can call someone in Skyrim]
Then, there’s The Onion’s review.
No spoilers, and likely to be much enjoyed by readers of this site.
Thanks, that’s truly in the spirit of Xmas
Cute, never thought about the lack of Bonobos. They are just too busy!
There are bonobos at the San Diego Zoo and the San Diego Zoo Safari Park.
There certainly are, and they are exactly as closely related to us as chimps, which are in lots of zoos
“Mommy, they are doing what you and daddy were doing!”
Mommy, they’e doing what Daddy and the housemaid do!
“I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus…and the milkman…and the mailman…and the Avon Lady…”
Bonobos at the Jacksonville Zoo also.
There are bonobos in the Milwaukee County Zoo, too. A few years back a baby was born to the group.
” Currently, the Milwaukee County Zoo has one of the largest captive bonobo collections.
Collections! i suppose they are but i prefer
primate cousins and if this is how they describe them in the media, as collections, Grania has a point i think.
It is one of my favourite sports, reminding people and myself, we are are a (relatively speaking) hairless ape.
I came across someone who was disgusted because they had assumed the space cow was male.
Are there any space bulls as well or are space cows parthenogenetic?
That’s why we do it like they do on the Discovery Channel:
This deserves bonus points because that song is from an album called “Horray for Boobies”.
🙂
+1 😀
Love it Grania!!!
Sci-fi, fantasy, and videogames. Grania is my kind of lady!
And she doesn’t suffer bullshit lightly 🙂
I had students who would ask me if we were animals, or if we were really apes. They were not too happy with my answer.
This is what the green milk (henceforth known as “grilk”) dispensers look like, for those who haven’t seen the movie.
https://imgur.com/a/655kE
I grew up on a dairy farm. Mixed herd of mostly Holstein Frisian [aka black-and-white battle cows] and a few mostly-brown Guernseys and Jerseys. Once had a couple of Brown Swiss, but they were soon hamburger.
Always fun explaining to naïve city cousins that there were separate teats for homogenized, pasteurized and cream, and that the chocolate milk came exclusively from our Jerseys.
Since human breast-feeding had been pretty well expunged from the US in the 50s, few of my younger cousins were aware of the homologs to the cows’ udders, and if they did, would probably be grossed out by the thought of human milk.
o tempore o more….
Wait, battle cows? Please tell me they’re called that because they were once/can be used in battle.
There was a terrible run of barbarian/sword-and-sandal movies in the ’50s, generally starring Burt Lancaster and Tony Curtis… Near the end of the cycle they released THE FREISIANS. The movie sank out of sight in most venues, but was held over in the single theater in my Frisian-Dutch home town. I didn’t see the movie, but the posters led me to imagine the trailer “THE FRISIANS — riding into battle on their fearsome black-and-white battle cows… With their spine-tingling battle cry ‘Baas, Baas”. [The cow-calling I heard every morning from neighboring farms.]
Brain worm — it’s been with me for 60 years.
I’m not recalling offhand Burt Lancaster starring in any sword-and-sandal epics from the ’50s (Burt being more of a swashbuckler-type). Tony Curtis did costar with Burt’s old running-buddy Kirk Douglas in Stanley Kubrick’s Spartacus. TC also did a turn as a Cossack in the film version of Nikolai Gogol’s short story Taras Bulba.
Yes, I meant Kirk Douglas — but I never saw any of the movies and particularly wasn’t interested in this sword-and-wooden-shoe variant.
Did see a chunk of the John Wayne version of Genghis Khan on tv, though.
Come on, the best chocolate milk can only come out of Brown Swiss!!!
FTA: “Depending on how you look at it, Luke was either trying to drive Rey away by being weird as hell”
I don’t think this is a spoiler because it is right near the start of the film, but that is exactly what Luke was trying to do.
One gets the feeling the author doesn’t remember much from Empire, nor really give a shit about Star Wars beyond its capacity to drive clicks for his articles and act as yet another way to produce more scrap for the culture war heap.
Yuk. That must be like yak milk.