The dumbest inventions of our time: pizza accoutrements

March 3, 2017 • 2:30 pm

From First We Feast, we have one of the dumbest inventions of our time: a portable pizza pouch for those who want to buy two slices but want to eat one on the go while keeping the other on hand. I can think of a gazillion reasons why this is dumb, including the fact that you have to clean it and that New Yorkers have managed the art of eating two slices at once (see the beginning of Saturday Night Fever). It’s no longer available at the site listed, but you can get one on Amazon.

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John Travolta shows you what to do at 1:35. He’s the king out there, fadda!

And you can still get this other dumb invention: a portable fork and pizza cutter combined.  The object is to cut your pizza into bite-sized pieces, and then eat them with your fork, but only a total wuss would do something like that.

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31 thoughts on “The dumbest inventions of our time: pizza accoutrements

    1. The barbarity of the pizza keeper is that the manufacturer advocates reheating pizza in a microwave. No only does this ensure a soggy crust, it also bypasses the enjoyment of room temperature day-old pie.

  1. Reminds me of “sporks” which are a fork on one end and a spoon on the other. As I recall, when forks were first introduced they were viewed in much this same way. Hands and knives were plenty fine. Who needed a fork? However, there are a lot of strange gadgets for making and eating food that be found in cooking ware catalogs.

    1. Sporks actually work – and it’s one fewer type of item to carry, which is significant if you carry all your camping kit on your back. Though to be honest, I normally carry a decent knife and a spoon and utterly dispense with the concept of “fork”. 14th or 15th century invention that it is, anyway.

    2. Who eats pizza with a fork? It wouldn’t taste right! Use your fingers, and make sure you lick them too!

  2. “From First We Feast, we have one of the dumbest inventions of our time”

    I suspect that was the intent given it’s manufactured by “Stupidiotic”. :p

  3. Takes a real mook to eat a slice with fork.

    And don’t get me started on the kinda gavone carries a slice around his neck.

  4. The pizza pouch wouldn’t work for me and the cutter/fork would be unnecessary because the place I order from cuts pizza into squares. The pouch wouldn’t fit the pieces and the squares make the cutter/fork unnecessary.

    I like kitchen gadgets, but only when they serve a useful purpose.

  5. A phone-in radio competition on the ABC here in Oz voted the most useless invention to be a fridge-magnet holder.

    1. Is that for the kitchen with that most barbarous of things – a non- ferrous-metal fridge. Which are probably going to become more common if the price of steel rises and that of (recycled) plastics falls.

  6. Looks like a real good deal for anyone with pizza for brains. Anyone know why Travolta was carrying a gallon of paint all around NYC. Was he also a bag man for the paint company when he wasn’t dancing.

    1. He works in a paint store. The customer wanted paint that the store didn’t sell. He went to another store and bought the paint there, then came back pretending he’d been mixing it out the back. The other store charged $7.95. He charged the lady $10.95, telling her he was giving her $1 off, just for her, because she had waited so long.

      1. Thanks…I hadn’t remembered all of that. Long time since I saw the movie. $7.95 for a gal. of paint kind of ages it as well. More like $20 to $30 for a gal today unless it is really crap paint.

        1. It’s a lot more than that here. More like $100 for 4 litres (just over a gallon).

          And we pay about $1.90 for a litre of petrol. Stop complaining about your gas prices!!! 🙂

          1. Holy crap, $100 bucks for a gallon of paint. Maybe if you are painting a Rembrandt. It’s not even oil based anymore, all latex.

            I am familiar with the gas prices, having lived in England, Okinawa. They all drive on the wrong side of the road you know. Fortunately, I was able to buy gas on bases and pay U.S. prices most of the time. By the way, Gas right now, here in Kansas is about $2.15 a gallon. Makes it hard to sell electric or hybrid autos.

            1. About a quarter of what we pay! I think we’ll have better luck going electric. The problem here for electric is the lack of infrastructure, but that’s finally starting to change.

  7. OT (re Pandas). Today’s South China Morning Post here in Hong King has news of a panda caught on video eating a goat carcass right down to the bones! Was on China Weibo microblogging site with nearly 2 million views.
    A user pointed out Pandas still eat meat fish and eggs.
    (Sorry for posting this here but I’m on the road with iPhone and can’t quite find the OP on Pandas I so enjoyed last night).
    Best
    Forse in Hong Kong

  8. I love it!!! What we have here is an example of chindogu. Do a google image search on chindogu and you’ll see lots of other examples of this tongue-in-cheek tomfoolery.

  9. Eating with one’s hands is barbaric. I use a knife and fork even on the rare occasion when I am served a hamburger. But then I suppose that those who are so uncivilized that after eating a pizza directly from their hands then lick their fingers clean like a cat.

  10. Foldable pizza is a crime against humanity. Try doing that with a slice from Uno’s in downtown Chicago (their only location worth buying pizza from) or even Freddy’s (in Cicero) “thin” crust. It can’t, and shouldn’t, be done.
    Btw, PCC, if you’ve never been to Freddy’s you need tomgo; their “Fruit of the Forest” gelato alone is worth the visit.

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