Another reason to ban guns: your dog could shoot you (and your cat won’t)

January 7, 2016 • 1:15 pm

Reader Susan called my attention to an alarming situation: d*gs shooting their owners. As the Washington Post reports, since 2004 ten people have been shot by their d*gs, one fatally. Here are the data:

Screen Shot 2016-01-06 at 2.56.35 PM

The fatal shooting? It involves “a Texas hunter who, in 2008, took a shotgun blast to the thigh when his dog jumped on the gun in the bed of his truck. He later died of blood loss.”

A few other tragic episodes:

In 2013, a Minnesota hunter was shot in the leg when his dog jumped into his boat and set off a shotgun. In 2011, a Utah hunter left his shotgun on a boat. His dog jumped on it, sending a blast of birdshot toward the man’s buttocks. Two weeks later a Florida bulldog named Eli shot his owner with a rifle while in a car on the way to a hunting spot.

Now I’m sure you’re asking this: What about cats? Well, despite there being four million more cats than d*gs in the U.S., there’s been only ONE report of a cat shooting its owner. As you might expect, the cat simply knocked the gun to the ground from a counter, and it went off, injuring the 29-year-old owner in the lower torso.

Conclusions?

  1. People who are stupid enough to leave loaded and unlocked guns lying around shouldn’t be allowed to have pets.
  2. Cats are less dangerous than d*gs, possibly because they’re lighter and can’t pull triggers or set off shotguns.
  3. Alternatively, perhaps many fewer gun owners have cats than d*gs. (That is a good hypothesis given the number of hunting-related accidents and the fact that many hunters own dogs.)
  4. Regardless of whether (2) or (3) is the right answer, cats still beat d*gs, because only bad people have guns.
  5. Guns don’t shoot pet owners. Dogs shoot pet owners!
rjlfna6edvom68880o1d
NOT a possibility

 

57 thoughts on “Another reason to ban guns: your dog could shoot you (and your cat won’t)”

    1. Dogs always use a method that directly leads back to them, whether it be a gun or a bite to the throat. Cats will “accidentally” push something on your head or trip you on the stairs. I’m pretty sure that no cat has ever been convicted.

        1. A pit bull cross. Well what a surprise. Better that it munched its owner than someone else.

          (Yes I’m being uncharitable. I find it very easy to be uncharitable about pit bulls and their owners).

          cr

          1. Actually it was his girlfriend’s dog, if I recall the radio news properly.
            But yeah – no doubt they are friendly affectionate dogs mostly (my sister has one of that general variety, daft soft beast) but they still give me the willies.
            Mental image of a pit bull coming up to it’s master expecting a pat on the head and praise, a tattered bloody human intromittant organ in it’s mouth. Probably happened.

    2. … which point directly at the dog.
      I, for one, welcome our new armed feline overlords.

  2. I think there are some good people who own guns (re. #4). But I would be happy to promote greater dog ownership among gun owners. This is not an issue I believe requires any administrative or engineering regulations. Let the canines work it out, who knows maybe they are anti-gun. I know our Irish Setters would go ballistic every Fourth of July.

  3. “Alternatively, perhaps many fewer gun owners have cats than d*gs. (That is a good hypothesis given the number of hunting-related accidents and the fact that many hunters own dogs.)”

    Since 80% of the hunting-related shootings happened in either a car or a boat, I think this has to do with the fact that dogs go hunting with the owners. Very few people have hunting cats.

    And it’s hilarious that “happened in Florida” is a major category.

    1. Actually, I’d bet a higher percent of cats are “hunting” cats than d*gs are hunting d*gs. Anyone with an outdoor kitty has a hunting cat. It doesn’t hunt our prey for us, but it does hunt.

      Most people don’t have cats that regularly go on car and boat trips with them, though. And even the ones that do would not be klutzy enough to accidentally tip over or step on something like a shotgun. When a cat jumps into the back of your truck and lands on your shotgun, you can bet its because the cat meant to land in just that spot.

      1. My cats have always hunted for me. Voles or small birds delivered to the doormat every few months. More importantly, the odd immature rat.

    1. I believe that picture appeared in the Twitter stream during the crackdown in Brussels after the Paris terrorist attacks (#Brusselslockdown).

      1. It may have appeared there but it dates back to at least 2004. I don’t know for certain, but I’m pretty sure the pic is meant to be about the JFK assassination.

  5. This just goes to show that they should have gun safety training in dog obedience school.

  7. Don’t forget about turkeys!

    Turkey Shoots Hunter by Triggering Shotgun
    April 25, 1992|Associated Pres.

    POTOSI, Mo. — A man showing off a turkey he thought he had killed was shot in the leg when the wounded bird thrashed around in his car trunk and triggered his shotgun.
    To make matters worse, it turns out that Larry Lands and his 16-year-old son were hunting a week before the start of turkey season and will probably be fined, county Sheriff Ron Skiles said.
    While the son was pulling the turkey out of the trunk, the bird began struggling, according to the sheriff, and its claw fired the gun. The shot went through the side panel of the car and into Lands’ leg.

    2. So it not only shot him, it shot his car too. That smarts! The panel work probably cost more than the fine.

      cr

    1. Yep. The other major centre for gun-toting crazies is the middle-east, but they’re not so keen on dogs over there. I guess there’s south america too. Are they dog-lovers down there?

  11. This one’s got better audio:

    The Cracked Pots (The previous one was by the Austin Lounge Lizards)

  13. Yeah, well, I am sure all of those dogs had super cute, “Oops. Should I not have done that faces” afterwards.

  14. Only ten out of all the moronic hunters in the USA who don’t know not to transport loaded firearms with the safety off? Come on canids – you’re not trying! Bad dogs – no biscuits!

    1. I can’t believe people actually treat a loaded gun the way they do! I was always taught to treat a gun as if it is loaded ALL THE TIME! My dad collects guns and they were never, ever loaded if they weren’t being used.

      I also knew not to touch the guns. If I did, I’d get the beats for sure!

      1. I cannot even guess why loaded guns in boats but loaded guns in cars is against the law in any state I know of. Whether a “safe” was on or off would not come into play, the gun is not suppose to be loaded. It is also not to be taken out of the case if it is in the car. If you do not have a case the gun must be taken apart to be in a car. I could go into these things more but what is the point. Nearly all of these shootings include breaking of laws. Many of these highly intelligent hunters also bring along a good amount of alcohol because really, what goes better with guns than booze.

        1. what goes better with guns than booze.

          Huh, sorry, whazzat? I was rolling a three-skinner. Got anything for a roach?

    1. Having slept with both, in my experience about 50% of cats get the suffocation move right by going for the face. Dogs always try to suffocate the legs. Losers.

  17. Love that ‘Happened in Florida’ column. I’m convinced that stupidity roles downhill. When my wife and I hear something ridiculously stupid we laugh and ask “Georgia, Florida, or Texas?”

      1. They inherit all the stupidity rolling downhill from the Aleutians, Alaska and the Chukchi peninsula? That would explain a lot.

          1. Wouldn’t it sink in the Pacific?

            But assuming it floats, umm, let me see – drift currents mumble mumble prevailing winds mumble mumble yellow rubber duckies mumble mumble – New Brighton beach – bloody hell, I’ve just been swimming in that!

            cr

  18. That kitten is packing some nice harware. I’d suggest a laser sight for her but she’d probably just drop the gun and go chasing the bright dot.

  19. “10 cases where dogs have accidentally shot humans since 2004”

    ‘accidentally’ ? That’s what the d*gs say.

    😉

    cr

  20. [D]espite there being four million more cats than d*gs in the U.S., there’s been only ONE report of a cat shooting its owner.

    And there have been 10 shootings by dogs. Therefore, you are 40 million times more likely to be shot by a dog than a cat!

    1. I think your math is off a bit there. Unless there are 4,000,001 cats and 1 dog and that dog shot the same person 10 times, that figure doesn’t work out…

      1. You’re right. I misread the statistic as “4,000,000 times more cats than dogs.” That did seem a bit high.

  21. *Sigh* No, this only proves that people who are stupid around guns usually suffer the consequences. It also shows that cats have sensitive hearing, and prefer to stay away from things that make loud noises. If only bad people have guns, should we execute every cop in the country?

    1. No, this only proves that people who are stupid around guns usually suffer the consequences.

      Unfortunately, the statistics are that it is more like that the people who suffer the consequences are often not the gun owner or handler, but the person it’s pointed at.

  22. No, it just means that we need to ban guns for dog owners, not cat owners.

    I think I’ll suggest to PCC(E) that he adds “Just joking” to the end of all such posts. Just so it’s unambiguous, like.

    cr

    1. (Sigh) That was of course a reply to M. Fish.

      Quite obviously I should not be allowed near a gun, least not without my bulletproof boots.

      cr

Comments are closed.