38 thoughts on “T. rex badinage

      1. No-one I know ever accused T.rex of not being brave.
        On the other hand, or limb, since their reproductive anatomy probably didn’t include a penis …

        1. Why wouldn’t it?
          The relevant methodology for inferring the condition of unpreserved soft (or, er, not so soft) parts is called the extant phylogenetic bracket. For tyrannosaurid theropods, the relevant comparisons are with more basal archosauromorphs (crocodylians and turtles: penis present in all species) and the living theropod clade Aves (penis present in basal groups palaeognaths and anseriforms, though not galliforms or neoavians). Parsimonious character optimization says T. rex probably had one, but birds and lepidosaurs show that there’ve been at least three independent losses.

      1. No, but he’ll cheerfully annoy the shit out of you telling you how much you could save on insurance.

        …come to think of it, that’s probably not all that unlikely about the only realistic late career option a deity has these days….

        b&

      2. Sorry, you’ve got me thinking of Oglaf now, the comic strip which is decidedly not safe for work and whicn introduced Sithrak to the deludedly optimistic believers of it’s universe.

  1. If a dolphin can masturbate with a dead fish (and they can, just look it up), then T. rex could also find a way to get ‘er dun.

    1. For dragging the conversation down into the gutter (where it started, and belongs), if I ever discover and describe an impressive, terrifying theropod species, I shall unhesitatingly not name it “Fapposaurus sturtevantii” ; I’ll keep that name for a bimbly little hadrosaurine with hairy palms.

      1. Y’know, since having a species named for you is one of the few real ways of achieving immortality (of a kind) in your own lifetime, there is the potential there to be really cruel to people …
        Then I remembered a comment that Linneaus was in the habit of naming species of weed after people he didn’t like, so there is precedent.

  2. I was once being harangued on sexual morality by a religious nut (why he singled me out, I’ll never know), and when he mentioned masturbation, I asked him why it was wrong. He said it was “Because g*d doesn’t want us to.” At that point I pulled my arms in close and waved my hands in front of me and said, “If g*d hadn’t wanted us to masturbate, he would have given us tiny little T-Rex arms.” He stomped off, probably convinced that my feet would start smoldering any second from the hellfire that would consume me.

  3. There’s a T-shirt to this effect: One T-rex says “I LOVE YOU THIIIIIS MUCH” and the other one says “THAT’S NOT VERY MUCH”

  4. Eddie Izzard did an animated skit on Jesus preaching to the dinosaurs. Much hilarity ensues.

    If I recall correctly, God creates marijuana, smokes it all, creates the dinosaurs and forces Jesus to go down and save them.

  5. he saw on Janice Ian’s Facebook page (remember “Society’s Child“?)

    I’d think “Seventeen” is her biggest hit. It certainly is my favourite of her songs — it’s almost like an outcast anthem.

    1. Society’s Child is a great song, written by Janice when she was only 13, recorded and released in 1965 after she had turned 14, and generated a lot of controversy due to its subject matter — interracial dating. At Seventeen is great too — as an intensely introverted teen when I first heard it, I could definitely relate to it, despite being a guy!

  6. Re: The T-Rex short-arm problem — maybe that was the start of “reciprocal altruism” (or as the T-Rex no doubt thought of it, “the buddy plan”).

  7. The 2nd cartoon is from the San Francisco Chronicle’s “Bad Reporter” cartoon which you can see online here
    http://www.sfgate.com/comics/slideshow/Bad-Reporter-58048.php

    You can get the one above, but I’m not sure how.

    To a secularist, their best headline EVER:
    (in response to J.J. Abrams taking the helm on both Star Wars and Star Trek as of a few years ago)
    “J.J Abrams to become head of both Mormon and Catholic church: vows not to blend two franchises”

  8. Interesting juxtaposition between the short arms of the T-rex and Ken Ham showing off how long his arms are.

  9. It took a few million years, but god finally got it right when he invented humans, in his own image. We have to admit he certainly knew what he was doing.

  10. If dinosaurs were anything like birds (probably) it would be the male that was pretty rather than the female.

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