As I believe I’ve mentioned before, when I was about twelve I decided to compile a list of “Coyne’s Rules for Life”: a series of simple instructions that, I supposed, would improve everyone’s existence. Ah, I was a lad full of hauteur then! But I still maintain that the first two rules, formulated at that early age, are useful. I never got past the second rule.
But now I’d like to report that, more than half a century later, I’ve come up with Rule #3!
First, let’s review rules #1 and #2:
Rule 1: When you’re buttoning your shirt or sweater, always start with the bottom button, and work your way up. (That way you’re sure not to put a button in the wrong hole.) Everyone should do this!
Rule 2: When running the water for a bath or tuning on a shower, turn the cold water on first, then add the hot. In that way you won’t scald yourself when testing the water.
And now I present the the rule I formulated today after nearly bumping into someone on the street at high speed, and then engaging in one of those “body-jousting contests” in which each person moves to the same side so that bumping is not avoided. Sometimes the mutual side-stepping can go on several times. The solution?:
Rule 3: When you are walking down the sidewalk, or in the street, and encounter another human or bicycle about to bump into you, stop walking and stand in place! The other person or vehicle will swerve to avoid you, and thus avoid a collision.
I invite readers to add to these rules. Remember, these are Rules for Life, which differ from “Laws of Life,” like “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” I am asking for practical hints that will help nearly everyone.
Never stop to look around as you step off an escalator, people following are being driven into you.
Never double park just because you need to nip into a shop.
never go into the supermarket without knowing exactly what you want and only buy those items.
Stepping off the escalator reminded me of stepping off the curb. IF you travel to a country where people drive on the side of the road opposite of your country, remember to look on the opposite direction for traffic. I have compensated by looking both ways always so I’m covered no matter where I am.
A friend of mine got both of her feet run over whilst standing at the curb in Paris.
As Maslow once said, the definition of intelligence is the ability to select the superior over the inferior.
Yes. I found that in Paris (kept forgetting which way to look).
I also found it the biggest trap when driving – I had no trouble remembering to drive on the right, but at stop signs I was more likely to forget that the traffic on ‘my’ side of the road I was entering in to was coming from my left…
Just remember that the line is always on the driver’s side. My aunt gave me that tip for driving in NZ and then back in NA.
Oh yes, but that wasn’t the problem. I always stopped correctly on the right-hand side (in France). My problem was, when scanning the main road for approaching traffic, I’d be looking at the right-hand side of the road to my right and the right-hand side of the road to my left, as I would in (left-hand driving) New Zealand. So I’d tend to miss someone coming from my left on ‘my’ left-hand side of the main road. Difficult to follow I know, would be easier with a diagram.
You have to be careful not to enter roundabouts in the wrong direction as well.
That seems to be a common refrain with people driving in foreign ‘wrong-side’ countries.
Oddly enough, I never had a problem with it. Not even with this roundabout:
(The first time I saw it I said “My god, it’s the world’s biggest roundabout. I’m glad I’m never going to drive round that!” It took about three weeks to change to “Gotta do that!” And I will say Paris drivers are marvellous. Every single one of them managed to miss me.)
I learned how to drive in round-abouts in NZ. Here in Canada (in Ontario at least) they put a bunch in but didn’t really tell people how to use them which means no one signals their exit or they signal which way they are going in the roundabout….I can see which way you are going as you can only go one way – how is your signal helping me!! Still others think that the people entering the round-about have the right of way and they just drive in there – again, think about – how does that make sense!!
When I got back from Australia, I almost entered the round about on the left because I was so used it.
Damn. Try again: http://www.sylvie-tribut-astrologue.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/paris-place-de-letoile.jpg
I haven’t driven in Paris for more thsn 30 years but IIRC the person on the right has the right-of-way even if you’re coming out of a driveway onto La Place d’Ėtoile. I found Zparis very easy to drive in compared to say Italy or Spain, where sidewalks were fair game.
When we were in Paris, we were told that accidents at this roundabout are not covered by motor insurance policies. Hence, everyone takes extra care…
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It was my impression that accidents anywhere in Paris were treated on a ‘no-blame’ basis since nobody could ever tell who was at fault. But the Place d’Etoile was in fact less tricky than many other parts of the city, I think because the traffic was moving fairly slowly and everyone was weaving with great care.
It would never work in New Zealand, the ‘safety’ industry would cover it in painted lines and hideous warning signs and accidents would quadruple because people would think they had right of way.
“Eschew obfuscation.” –Author forgotten
“Eschew obfuscation.” – Author’s identity obfuscated.
There, FIFY.
That ironys things out!
Oh, yeah, Jerry. When I was fifteen, doing one of my “walkabouts” in the Mojave Desert, my life mission came into my head (even though there was no burning bush–but it did just come out of “nowhere”). “. . . to reconcile the needs and works of humankind with those of the earth and its life.”
Still working on it, .76 of a century later . . .
I love that a lot.
This is a VERY sophisticated website! I got a denial of post message “. . . looks as if you’ve already said that” If so, It must have been a long, long time ago, and this is a different context. SOME of the words may have been the same, but it is not a duplication–the post just contains a quote I may or may not have used here before. In any case, I see it as an abridgment of free speech by a mindless automaton–or worse.
Oh, yeah, Jerry. When I was fifteen, doing one of my “walkabouts” in the Mojave Desert, my life mission came into my head (even though there was no burning bush–but it did just come out of “nowhere”). “. . . to reconcile the needs and works of humankind with those of the earth and its life.”
Still working on it, .76 of a century later . . .
You same to be saying it once again.
*seem*
It posted both posts. I may have double-hit the button.
Evidently, the website isn’t so sophisticated after all.
Something seems to be going on more often lately with WordPress. Sometimes I hit enter, and my comment doesn’t seem to ‘take’. But it’s actually there, so when I re-try, I get that warning.
That happens sometimes when you twitch on the mouse & WordPress sees that as a double submission.
U r probubly rite.
If you accidentally drop the aquarium light fixture into your fish tank, don’t reach in after it.
Nah it’s ok. I’ve done that a few times.
Never pick your nose when driving.
A friend of mine was once rear ended in a traffic queue. She got out of her car to exchange insurance details and was astonished to find the driver of the car behind was covered in blood that was still pouring from his nose. He had been picking it at the moment of impact and his elbow had connected with the steering wheel.
In relation to Rule 3, don’t forget the principle of relativity:
Stopping suddenly in traffic (pedestrian or vehicular) is the same as accelerating in any other direction you can’t see. If there’s a collision, you caused it.
Measure twice, cut once.
And my husband’s corollary: Measure once, curse twice.
Hey – he uses the same system as me!!
😀