Philomena Cunk on crime

February 26, 2015 • 3:15 pm

Good news!! There are not two but three episodes of the incomparable Philomena Cunk’s series “Moment of Wonder” left, for I found another one. Here’s the latest, her segment on crime. And even better news: she’s producing one more—the last one—tonight, which, I hope, will soon be on YouTube. In the meantime, have a gander at this, which includes an interview with Crime Man:

Her first sentence is a classic: “One in twenty people has been a victim of crime, which means that nineteen out of twenty people are criminals.”

29 thoughts on “Philomena Cunk on crime

  1. The interviews are so hilarious. Clearly, these poor suckers think she’s a serious interviewer and are quite gob-smacked by her apparent stupidity.

    It’s brilliant!

    – evan

    1. Actually they all seem to be playing along with the joke, as the computer expert uses the word “mices” for the plural of mouse, in response to Philomena’s use of “mouses”.

      Also, “encephalogram”.
      “Say again?”
      “Encephalogram”.
      “Say again?”
      “Encephalogram”.
      “Oh, right”.

  2. My favorite line: “Many of those laws [that Moses found on a hill]: killing, gravity, and the one about not interfering with oxes, are still used today…”

    1. The oxen rules are quite serious. Oxen who tread wheat are to be well-fed, and even then they are not to be muzzled and allowed o have a snack if they want.

      And the edges and corners of a field are not to be harvested, and reapers are not allowed to take a second gleaning pass. Gleaning and harvest of the corners is reserved for the landless and unemployed.

      In modern times we would say that restaurants can’t have locks on their dumpsters, and that high value aluminum and steel waste should be set aside for the destitute to easily collect.

        1. The Bible explains in Matthew 3:12:
          “Whose fan is in his hand, and he will thoroughly purge his floor, and gather his wheat into the garner; but he will burn up the crap with unquenchable fire.”

  3. She’s so good! Her analysis reminds me of the saying that you could halve crime overnight by halving the number of laws. 🙂

  4. I’ve always found that predictable and clichéd journalistic style particularly irritating. She parodyizes it brilliantly.

    And she can’t be allowed to stop doing this now.

  5. It has to be said ..

    It’s a good spoof on Brian Cox. The thing is, Philomena’s accent is clearly from Bolton, whereas Brian’s is from Oldham. Two completely different accents!

    Sheesh!

  6. The latest episode of Charlie Brooker’s Weekly Screenwipe has just aired on BBC 2, and this week’s Moment of Wonder concerned the important topic of medicine. This week we learned that the ancient Egyptians thought that onions were a form of medicine, even though they aren’t, and that they quite literally “didn’t know their onions”. Philomena reveals that this s where the etymology of the phrase arises.

  7. Ms. Cunk: “When they do reconstructions, you know on telly, they’re dead convincing aren’t they?”

    Crime Man: Silence and an almost imperceptible acknowledgment that he thinks there is a fool in front of him…

    Mike

  8. My favourite Philomena Cunk line to date is,

    “Who or what is Winston Churchill? And the answer is… who.”

    It’s the way it poses such a daft question, and then answers it even more moronically than you would have thought possible.

      1. Definitely could be straight out of a Pynchon novel
        vis – Mike Fallopian; Oedippa Mass; Melanie L’Heuremaudit; Tyrone Slothrop; Pig Bodine; Scarsdale Vibe . . . and many others

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