They’re apparently reading more than a thousand pages out loud in Texas—and for what? Reader Larry sent this picture with an explanation:
This was shot approximately 5/3/06 on one of my many sojourns to Granbury, TX. Yes, that’s the county courthouse on the square in the background.
It is great to see how well attended it was!
Well, well, a genuine use for the Bible. How to get some space…
Ha, ha, indeed!
I wonder if they’re going to skip over the dirty parts?
I wonder too. Can we get a recording of some poor twit reading the parts about the horse sex? Or how about the Conan-esque parts about gutting a man? I also want to hear the song of Solomon in all its salacious glory.
One just can’t help but wonder how much good could be accomplished if, instead of a bible reading marathon, it was replaced by a Calvin & Hobbes reading marathon.
Quite a few parts of the bible do seem like someone’s playing a game of Calvinball.
CALVINBALL … [googlies ] Oh that sounds like Mornington Crescent with mallets and masks. Young Calvin …. The Crescent is strong in this one.
Now how can we get creationists into the Pernicious Poem Place?
Had to look up Mornington Crescent, myself. Sounds like fun…but has nowhere near the same degree of mayhem and chaos and confusion.
b&
You’ve clearly never listened to “I’m Sorry …” ; I’d rectify that if I were you.
The way to work this out, I think, is to imagine a crossover.
Were Calvin to be Auntie Beeb’s guest, a spontaneous game of Calvinball would likely erupt, and you’d then have a prepubescent boy running all over the place, throwing objects, making weird sounds, climbing anything and everything climbable and much that isn’t, and so on. Space aliens would battle knights in shining armor; deadly diseases would take putrescent corporeal form, become gods, and hold the very world hostage through control of the weather…you get the idea. (Maybe.) The young-at-heart would quickly join in, and it’s unlikely the adults in the room would be able to do much about it. As such, Mornington Crescent would transmogrify into Calvinball — and rather rapidly, at that.
Take it the other way ’round, have the panelists visit Calvin for a game of Calvinball, and it’s inconceivable that a game of Mornington Crescent would ensue, spontaneously or otherwise. Calvinball would still erupt, and the panelists would either join in or be ignored as lumbering somewhat-animated dimwitted tree stumps.
It’s truly difficult to express the power of Calvinball. There may well be no force in the Cosmos more powerful.
b&
Can I get a pint of that. No – a half. Powerful juice!
Oh, it’s worth the full pint — seconds, even.
Bill Watterson is positively brilliant. The strip perfectly captures the inner life of a ten-year-old boy…and is also full of all sorts of truly wickedly sophisticated adult commentary, with absolutely nothing being remotely sacred.
Strip reruns are available online for free here:
http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/
and many dead tree anthologies are available at fine bookstores near you.
Well…maybe not near you when you’re in the middle of the ocean….
b&
I am familiar with Calvin. And the saintly Hobbies. But your projection. [Hold out empty glass, for filling]
Drink deep, brother!
🍻
b&
Thanks for the link Ben. C and H.
3rd place; A velvet painting of Elvis kissing a bible in an ornate, gold painted plastic frame.
I think that’ s fantastic, if they read the whole thing without skipping the horrible parts, like blessing he who dashes little babies’ heads against rocks, etc.
Looks like he’s lonely and board. At least it keeps them out of other mischief for a little while. If it’s on government land has the AU been notified?
It’s only taken eight and a half years to read a thousand pages? And they say education is lacking in the Bibke Belt!
‘begat. . . begat. . . begat. . .’: begone!
I think it is a great idea to encourage the Godly to read the Bible. I thought that it would make a great billboard campaign for atheist organisations to challenge Christians to read it all the way through from beginning to end. The best part would be watching the TV talking heads trying to think of something negative to say about the evil atheist initiative to encourage people to read God’s holy word, all of it.
I made it all the way through the Bible but only managed half of the Koran which is a truly terrible book, well the first half is, maybe all the best parts are at the end.
+1
What some people will do for a good time!
Good time? You can’t have a good time reading it. This is the Good Book!
b&
There is no issue with this being on government property – as long as they had a permit. It is when the government promotes religion that there is an infringement. Using government space for free speech is not a problem – even hate speech.
I’m just fixated on the lovely climate. Try doing that up north!! Now that would be impressive!
Several years I spend down in Texas and this just brings up those good memories. Excuse me for a minute.
To prove that they can. Read, that is.
Might the next reader up use that same facility to read Thomas Paine’s AGE OF REASON and/or a selection of Robert G Ingersoll’s orations? If so, I’ll volunteer to read a session or three…
I’d love to know what goes through some of the readers’ minds as they do this: “Gee, I never knew it said THAT before”; “Why did God do THAT?”. This little exercise might backfire on them!
Sub
A quick google indicates these annual “Bible Reading Marathon” events occur all over the USA & they are timed to finish on [or shortly before the National Day of Prayer** [first Thursday of May].
The Hood County [Granbury, TX] Bible reading marathon is weak sauce – it’s only 14 hours a day for six days under the gazebo. I guess if you have the skilz to reinterpret the meanings of Bible words to suit your particular set of prejudices it’s fine to have a marathon that contains five 10-hour rest periods.
** The FFRF sued to challenge the prayer day, but they lost that one.
Couldn’t help doing the calulation…
784,000 words / [160wpm x 60min] = Approx 80 hours to read the bible aloud at a normal radio announcer speed
Glad to see that Mr Murphry is continuing to patrol the lanes of logic, ladder on one shoulder and plate glass tagging along behind.
Sadly I would expect the resources of BuyBullOnCD and it’s competitors could easily afford a D- or E – list voice for … 5 weeks work. Or thereabouts.
Did Ben@ notice what @CAH (Cards Against Humanity) did to BuyBull Inc?
If I’m the Ben@ in question, I must admit to not having a clue what you’re referring to….
b&
Remember our discussions about “BuyBull Inc” a few weeks ago?
@CAH did a promotion on their website several weeks ago where they’d post you – for about $15 – a parcel of bullshit. They stated very plainly that this was exactly what the package contained, that once made an order could not be retracted and would be delivered (usual caveats about delivery services), etc, etc.
And they still had people complaining about Great Aunt Agatha being delivered a gift-wrapped box of (sterilised) bullshit with a note from the soon-to-be-disinherited sender.
I’m sorry, but I did laugh until I cried. Then I ordered a set of CAH, along with their latest special offer which I shall sell at a profit on ebaY in a few years.
Ah — yes. I remember now.
They say it’s the mind that goes second. Never could remember what’s supposed to go first….
b&
With this program, at least a very few Christians will have managed to read major parts of their so-called holy book. Most Christians have not. And, most of them are totally unaware of the history and development of their faith”. Faith doesn’t require reading or comprehension.
The Bible reads like a stage play. Perfect to have a marathon of Bible reenactments. Murders and devouring and all.
Of course a 100% accurate and complete re-enactment of the Bible would be instantly banned by the censor in most jurisdictions…
“This was shot approximately 5/3/06…” that one heck of a bible reading marathon!