Could it be . . . Satan?

November 11, 2014 • 12:33 pm

Here we have a True Believer making a fervent case that Monster energy drinks are made in the service of the devil.

I don’t know much about this video except that I’m pretty sure it’s authentic; that is, the woman really believes that she’s saying. It’s simply too ludicrous to be a joke.  PuffHo has a piece on it, but doesn’t identify the woman and merely repeats what you can see below.

PuffHo does add a bit of information, though:

Many of her complaints about the drink have circulated online before, with some users on the Snopes message board reporting a similar message circulating on Facebook in 2009. However, none of the others have spread this quickly.

The Facebook clip posted by Andrew Blevins this weekend has already been viewed more than 8 million times while the YouTube version posted on Sunday racked up more 1.5 million views in less than 24 hours.

Monster has not responded to numerous people sharing the video on its Facebook page. However, when these religious claims have surfaced in the past, others,including members of the Christian community, have pointed out that the so-called “number of the beast” is not three sixes, but 666 — as in six hundred and sixty-six — which would not be represented in Hebrew by a six repeated three times.

Also difficult to explain would be the fact that Monster Beverage Corp., which owns the Monster Energy drink, also owns Peace Tea.

I remember when the Proctor and Gamble logo, devised in 1850, was, 130 years later, interpreted by Christian wackos as a symbol of Satan, and that the company was donating its profits to the Church of Satan. Here’s that logo and the Satanist interpretation back then:

pg

From Snopes.com:

Those who accepted the rumor as revealed truth pointed to P&G’s “man in the moon” logo as proof of the company’s ties to evil. They saw in the curlicues of the moon man’s hair and beard a pair of devil’ horns and an array of 6s, and they believed that by playing “connect the dots” with the thirteen stars in the logo, three 6s could be made to appear. (According to Revelation 13:18, 666 is the “mark of the Beast”, with the “beast” understood to be the devil.)

Remember, according to a Harris Poll taken last year, 58% of Americans believed in Hell and the Devil. Of course, we’re assured by some philosophers that this “belief” isn’t really the same thing as our beliefs that, say, New York City exists. Rather, these religious ‘beliefs’ are really akin to “fictional imaginings.”  I don’t think this woman (or even Pope Francis) agrees!

All this reminds me of H. L. Mencken’s riposte when he was once asked, “If you find so much that is unworthy of reverence in the United States, then why do you live here?” His answer: “Why do men go to zoos?”

And here we have a fine specimen to observe and to entertain us. ~

82 thoughts on “Could it be . . . Satan?”

  1. Wow…I could imagine railing against them because of the sugar and caffeine and other stuff I’d expect is in them…but Satan? And why Satan, for that matter, rather than a chupacabra?

    And could get get any more smugly saccharine herself, while she’s at it?

    b&

    1. And why Satan, for that matter, rather than a chupacabra?

      Don’t be silly. It doesn’t look anything like a coyote with mange.

  2. At least Starbucks is up front about having a mesmerizing Mermaid Siren holding her tails spread apart as a logo.

  4. I wonder how she protects herself from being contaminated by contact with that can?

    And has she considered she might be tempting people to find out more about the Dark Side by pointing out this “evidence”?

    Imo, this poor woman thinks this information has been revealed to her by her god, and it’s her mission to spread the word. Very sad.

  5. I can believe that she believes it. Years ago there was a lady who lived across the street from my mother who used to go around railing against Halloween as ‘devil worship’. Her world was filled with so much delusion that I wondered how she could parse the difference between reality and the noises in her head.

    1. I came across someone the other day who goes to church at Halloween for group prayer because of all the devil’s energy it brings on. I was flabbergasted an otherwise intelligent person could believe this.

      1. If the devil’s energy is a walk around the block with an excited kid, while I am drinking a mug of hot chocolate and kahlua, count me in!

    1. Yeah — that’s what I was wondering. She asked what the “o” looked like, and my first thought was, “Greek letter Φ / phi.” How she gets a cross out of a phi is beyond me…and that was before I was trying to figure out where she might be going with, “Mfnster”….

      b&

          1. In real life I think it’d be one of those things you just couldn’t stop watching/listening to (if you stayed past the first couple of lines). Like watching a train wreck.

  7. I remember as a youth in the 1970s, being exposed to the crazy Xians who dreamed this kind of crap up. (My parents liked the crap.)

    They were obsessed with rock and roll music. All from the Devil!

    Hotel California? Devil worship temple. (Fun to later hear Don Henley talking about that song (and Witchy Woman, One of These Nights, others) and saying that it was all intentional — to cause a ruckus and get attention.)

    The one that I remember best is their criticism of Carlos Santana: Look! Cross out the first n and last a, and you get SATAN (Santana)! This is no accident!!!!

    Guys: The man’s name means SAINT ANN.

    Just another incident showing how little native curiosity these people have. Pure simpletons.

    The Devil and Black Magic imagery are right out of the old Blues traditions. Blues is the dark side; gospel the light side.

    1. Yeah, as a kid my parents bought my brother and me a Xian book about the Satanic influence of Rock ‘n Roll. (We were mostly into classic rock and punk- this was late 70’s/early 80’s) The book was set up like an encyclopedia…look up your favorite rock group and you could find some anecdotal evidence of their satanic ways. Of course, if any of the musicians were known to be gay, that would be top of the “evidence” list, case closed. Oh brother, the shit I was put through as a kid. Sooo glad I was able to escape the madness and fear- actually, I think rock music helped me in that endeavor.

      As an aside, I just listened to Black Sabbath (eponymous) last week. Oh so wicked 🙂

        1. I always think of War Pigs/Luke’s Wall as a perfect example of how pathetic such . . . morons are when I encounter that kind of crap. Since it is pretty much the poster child of evil rock music for such xian morons, and they are totally oblivious to the lyrics which portray exactly the opposite of their desperately fevered accusations.

          Of course, if they did listen to the lyrics then they would condemn Black Sabbath for being hopelessly depraved, leftist, liberal, socialist, commie pinko, scum bags.

          M-O_R-O_N-S!

          1. Yup. Loved the secret irony that Black Sabbath sang many religious inspired songs. Nowadays, I scoff at much of Sabbath (lyric wise), because he’s too goddy. Stacking more irony. But at the time it was a secret mockery. They hate what they don’t know based on the name. I remember my brother covering the upside down crosses on Ozzy’s “Diaries of a Madman” cover with masking tape- lest mother find it.

  9. A True Believer with a “SHOW SPECIAL $10.00”. Maybe True Believer should be “True Believer” lol.

  10. I remember hippies who thought Marlboro cigarettes contained subliminal racist messages because if you read part of the logo backwards and the rest upside down it says ‘Orobl’ (horrible) Jew.

    I’m pretty sure it wasn’t just Marlboro they were smoking.

  11. It’s a gateway to evil you see. Monster energy drinks (uh hello, “Monster” is right in the product name!) gives youngsters the energy to engage in Sauronic – oops I mean Satanic – activities like video games, dungeons & dragons, and the rock and/or roll music.

    It’s nothing less than a cross-product, cross-industry attempt to corrupt our youngsters!

  12. How many people even know the Hebrew alphabet? Can you be manipulated by Satan by seeing something that you can’t translate? Then this whacko tells me it’s Hebrew for 666 and now I can’t unsee it. I think she’s helping to spread Satan’s message.

    I also figure I’m Satan, as she said “The Devil laughs” I was loling the whole time. Oops.

    1. Of course…the letter is also the third in the tetragrammaton: יהוה. So, it could just be that they’re triply excited about the third letter in Jehovah’s true name. Find another three in there, and you’ve got a triple trinity, which should be extra-cheesy Jesusy, no?

      b&

      1. Nice!

        I once was told that the 666 was code for Herod as alpha and numeric characters are interchangeable. Have never been interested enough to look deeper in the matter.

        1. I’m sure there must be hundreds of conspiracy theories as to the “true meaning” of “the Number of the Beast.” Several hundred…maybe even six hundred and sixty-six of them, in fact….

          b&

          1. I once told a friend of mine that I’d done numerology calculations on the name of someone we both knew, and it had come up 666 (which was true btw, don’t ask, I was a teenager at the time). I expected her to laugh, but she became all serious and wanted to know if I’f told anyone, because people needed to know.

          2. Wowza! That’s a good 666 tale. Did the mutual friend ever find out- did you tell? Also, would the person care? This story has a cliff hanger Heather.

  15. I once stopped at a convenience store near Chattanooga, Tennessee. When the clerk rang up my purchase, the price was $6.66. His eyes widened and, without considering the theoretical possibility that I might be due some crumb of consideration in the matter, he quickly re-rang the price to $6.67, as opposed to $6.65, eh? I gathered that his alarm over the alleged Sign of the Beast was not so great that it rendered him incapable of contemplating having to account to his manager for his cash drawer being short one cent at the end of his shift.

    Had the customer been of the same religioso and Romneyesque penny-pinching mindset as the clerk, one might have witnessed a spirited grasping-capitalist debate over that one penny.

    2. Growing up, I had a Xian friend who was terrified of the number 6- just the number! The triple 6 would make him apoplectic . I once remember him getting a score on a video game that was something like 10,666. He never played that game again. Sometimes I wonder what ever happened to that dude. Hopefully he escaped like me.

        3. Hah! Can you imagine “A Charlie Brown Christmas” if rather than suggesting to Charlie that “maybe you have Triskaidekaphobia,” Lucy suggested that maybe he had hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia?

      2. Number superstitions are very culture-specific (perhaps language-specific) also.
        Japanese: no prejudice against 13, but prejudice against 4 (“shi” – homophone for death, which is why it’s “yon” in many instances), and also the odd little bit about 2 slices of something (pickles, for example): 2 is OK but 1 (“hito-kiri” – to cut oneself) and 3 (“mi-kiri” – to cut someone) are not.
        Chinese: “su” also homophone for death.
        I’m sure there are many more in other languages.

    3. Would have been awesome if you had been able to give him correct change. I’d have carefully dug it out of my pocket, slowly counted it out in full view of him and then handed him the $6.66. Or set it on the counter in front of him if I couldn’t get it into his hand.

        1. “All with a knowing leer…”

          I would be tempted to feign innocent ignorance and extract a protracted, laborious explanation from him.

  16. When you get right down to it all supernatural thinking involves conspiracy-style pattern-seeking, since the physical world is supposed to be filled with clues and signs of an underlying reality which resembles nothing so much as a plot.

    “Everything happens for a reason.” The storyline might involve Good vs. Evil or spiritual growth or just something simple like “you are loved.” But in a supernatural world view it all has to mean something because we each live a purpose-driven life in a universe especially created for us to discover its meaning. Look for hints along the path.

    Given this woman’s background assumptions and community, she’s actually doing a fine job drawing from pop culture and putting everything together. It only looks crazy from the outside.

    Which means she’s embedded in a pretty toxic environment.

  17. This is almost as whack as Starbucks lattes with extra man-cream.

    As for Mencken’s response to “why do you live here”… I’m glad to say, just as much amusement can be had by observing from the outside!

  18. The zip code for Topeka, home of Westboro Baptist Church, the assassination of Dr. Tiller, the Kansas School Board, and the various threocratic wackos of the Kansas Republican Party, is …

    666

    1. Indeed!: 66601-66612, 66614-66622, 66624-66626, 66628-66629, 66636-66637, 66642, 66647, 66652-66653, 66667, 66675, 66683, 66692, 66699

      Ha! That’s hilarious.

  22. What I love about this whole number of the beast thing (hehe, “whole number”), is that Revelation 13:16 is very clear that it will appear on the forehead or the hand. It doesn’t say if your cash register total is $6.66 (following Filippo above) or if your employee ID number has 666 in it that then you are the minion of evil. Why is it they are all very literal, except when they are not? I’ll bet you none of the jokers ever folded when they had three sixes in a poker game.

    1. Could I have known what would transpire, I would have been greatly tempted to mark “666” on my forehead before entering.

    2. In my old college poker games we had a “Beast Beats Everything” rule. Three of a kind sixes always won no matter what. It beat straight flushes, everything.

      Not a common occurrence in draw poker, but could come up sometimes in Community. BTW, Community is what Texans called Texas Hold ‘Em back in the late 80’s. I think Nevadans invented the current name.

    3. “literal interpretation” has never meant that, since the bible is self contradictory and thus *requires* interpretation. Unless you’re Ned Flanders: “Why, Lord, why? I followed everything in the bible, even the parts that contradicted the other parts!”

          4. @DianeG. and @Diana. I will attempt to sneak Currie’s hot-off-the-press DNA results under CC’s radar:
            in descending order of influence:German Shepherd Dog ( as opposed to a German guy who herds sheep, I presume) , Labrador Retriever, Great Dane(!!), and Smooth-haired Wheaton Terrier. So I guess the long legs come from the Great Dane. Diana, didn’t you think yours was part Dane, and she wasn’t?

          5. I can see at least the first two in her! Labrador genes are sure abundant these days. Sounds like a nice mix of breeds–had you guessed any of them before?

            Yeah, GSD seems funny, but they’re always called that in the breeding mags, etc. Would be interesting to know just why the “dog” was appended. Though–of course we don’t call any dog an “Australian Cattle” so it probably is true that we’ve just gotten used to using the first 2 words of GSD and now it doesn’t sound strange to us.

          6. Definitely guessed the GSD and possibly the Lab. Great Dane never occurred to me, but does account for the long legs. I talked to the woman at the company because they had spelled Currie as Carrie and she said the Wheaton Terrier could account for the slightly floppy ears. C. also loves to shake up her stuffies;-) like a terrier. Can’t wait to get the framed “pedigree” in the mail. Wonder if there’s a DNAyourcat website? Most are probably just Domestic Shorthair.

      2. Erm…you fell for it…”666″ is the Arabic version (as opposed to the Roman one). Re-read J. Quinton’s original post…and remember that it’s the Arabs (and ISIS, etc.) who’re evil this week….

        b&

          1. Hmmm…no “a” in any of these numeral systems, but the Etruscans did use “Λ” where the Romans used, “V,” so now we’re back to “ΛI ΛI ΛI,” which, granted, would be, “6 6 6,” but I’m not sure any typographers would set it like that….

            b&

  25. I’m sure the profits on all these energy drinks (which are mostly just sugar water) are monstrous. And satanic. Satan would be rubbing his hands with glee.

    And Monster Cable, too, which taps into an equally rich vein of voodoo and woo…

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