Today’s footie, the Chomp that will live in infamy, and our contest continues

June 25, 2014 • 4:42 am

As I said two posts down, nobody won the footie contest yesterday: nobody even guessed the outcomes, much less the scores, of all four games. Well, I’m feeling generous and will extend the contest one more day.

Below is today’s footie schedule. You have until 11 a.m. CHICAGO time to guess the winners, and the scores, of all four games. One guess per person, please. If nobody gets it right (and nobody will), the victor will be the first person to guess simply the winners of all four games. Remember to specify ties, for those count as well.

Please put your predictions on this thread; people put some prematurely on the post from last night (those will count). The winner gets a special acrylic Jerry Coyne the Cat keychain, perfect for having a squee each time you use your keys.

Screen shot 2014-06-25 at 6.21.47 AM

As the whole world knows, thanks to social media, Uruguay striker Luis Suárez (who plays for Liverpool in the UK) bit Giorgio Chiellini in his team’s victory over Italy yesterday. I’m not sure why he did it, but the guy has a problem (and Chiellini should get shots!). This is Suárez’s third biting incident.  As the Telegraph reports, he’ll likely be banned from football for at least six months for this unseemly chomp:

After three incidents, it is not football’s business to put an arm round him, especially with a World Cup in full flow. The game’s duty is to protect the victim. After this, there can be no confidence that he will ever cease and desist. Even a six-month ban might not keep the flesh of defenders safe.

In 2010, at Ajax in Amsterdam, Suárez was suspended for seven games for biting PSV Eindhoven’s Otman Bakkal on the shoulder. In April last year, he grabbed Ivanovic’s arm like a man picking a lump of meat off a barbecue and buried his teeth in the bicep. As with the Group  D game here, the attack was not dealt with by match officials. Suárez was later charged by the FA with violent conduct and banned for 10 games. The disciplinary panel described his actions as “deplorable”.

Here’s a rare compilation of all three of Suáruez’s bites. There’s no doubt the guy is a gnasher:

If there’s any humor in this incident, it’s in a report, given on Tw**ter by Jamie Ross (h/t reader Jiten), that a Norwegian won big money after betting in advance that Suárez would bit somebody during the World Cup. Perhaps a Norwegian reader can translate the ticket below:

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Finally, today’s Google Doodle (there are three per day); click to go to the animation, click again for the schedule and past results:

Screen shot 2014-06-25 at 6.17.55 AM

97 thoughts on “Today’s footie, the Chomp that will live in infamy, and our contest continues

  1. Nigeria 1 – 4 Argentina
    Bosnia/Herzegovina 3 – 2 Iran
    Honduras 0 – 4 Switzerland
    Ecuador 1 – 3 France

  2. I just petted my cat Mr.Attacus for luck. So here goes:

    Nigeria 1 – Argentina 2

    Bosnia/Herzegovina 2 – Iran 0

    Honduras 0 – Switzerland 1

    France 3 – Ecuador 1

    1. Sorry, Sarah, you can’t win unless you get the actual scores correct. Imagine that…you could lose by the split second that seaparates our posts.

  3. Suarez should be criminally charged. I am surprised no one has yet removed any of his teeth for him.

    1. Generally people are so shocked that he does it… I think his wife said before she does not recognise the player on the pitch compared with the man she knows off the pitch.

      1. Definitely is something you would not expect from an adult while playing professional sports.

        I think his wife is fooling herself. He is either merely a very large asshole, or he has a legitimate psychological issue that he has neglected to get help for despite ample evidence that he needs it. That sort of reduces back down to large asshole.

        I’ve always thought that a significant contribution to the degradation that all Big Sports seems to settle into once it really hits the big time is the unwillingness of the governing bodies of the sports to adequately deal with badly behaved athletes and coaches. Stuff like this biting should be one warning with fines, suspension and counseling, and if there is a next time you are out for good, period. Too worried about making money though to hold their people reasonably accountable for their behavior.

        1. Which, in turn, reflects on the consumers. The governing bodies recognize that you can’t mess with the public’s “saints”.

          It’s a lot like the double-standard folks apply to priests or other religious leaders (among others). Joe Sportsfan would be livid and the first to call for charges to be pressed if his neighbor bit somebody. A sports star? Oh, that’s just an entirely tolerable quirk! Don’t be such a fuddyduddy!

    2. This kind of behavior is certainly no better than throwing an unprovoked punch. I’m really surprised he hasn’t been banned for life, with perhaps one warning.

      1. Seems a lot worse to me. Of course, a punch could cause as much or more damage, but usually they do not. Could just be an irrational bias on my part. But, even a human’s evolutionarily enfeebled bite is very strong and can cause serious damage, not to mention infection.

  4. Suarez clearly has very Catholic tastes… which derive, naturally, from regular attendance at Mass and the eating of the Body of Christ, coupled with the mounting frustration of observing the priest swilling down the Blood while the hoi-polloi cannot. Had he been brought up in the Anglican Communion, with its bloodless sacraments (despite the fact that the hoi-polloi get to drink the wine) the man would behave better: he would be a gentleman, quite toothless.

    1. While I don’t disagree with you Tim, I would have thought Mr Suarez, as a good South American Catholic, would have bitten a Capybara (they are fish after all).

  5. The receipt (betting slip if you will), from 12/6 note, says “Will Luis Suarez bite, another player?”
    Better: Yes
    Stake – 32 NOK

    Potential payout 5,600 NOK

    Sorry – I do not understand what the 175 is about – do they do betting odds in some different way to the UK where we say 10 to on against or 5 to one on etc?

  6. The ticket basically says:

    Ticket validated

    Will Luis Suarez bite another player? Winner: Yes 175.00
    Bet (Norwegian crowns, NOK) 32.00
    1 Single bet
    Total bet (NOK): 32.00
    Potential payout (NOK): 5600.00
    [Close and place new bets]

    And while I’m at it soms predictions:
    NIG-ARG 1-3
    BIH-IRN 1-1
    HON-SWI 2-2
    ECU-FRA 0-4

  7. Nigeria 0 – 4 Argentina
    Bosnia/Herzegovina 3 – Iran 0
    Honduras 1 – Switzerland 1
    France 2 – Ecuador 1

  8. Argentina over Nigeria @ 4 to 1

    Bosnia Herzogovina over Iran @ 3 to 0

    Honduras over Switzerland @ 2 to 1, and

    Ecuador and France results in a draw @ 1 and 1.

    Having no idea ( not even a predictably ‘reason’able one ), of course, of these several outcomes to come, the production of these 3 D – like “answers” inside m’brain is far, far more jauntily amusing to me than was making those selections which were my hit – or – miss multiple choice – ones on college entrance’s visuospatial exam queries eons ago.


  9. The probability of guessing right only the outcomes is

    P = (1/3)x(1/3)x(1/3)x(1/3) = 1/81

    Getting right the scores would have a probability orders of magnitude lower, but the thing is I’m having fun with this. So here goes my hopeless prediction:

    NIG 1 – 1 ARG
    B&H 1 – 1 IRAN
    HON 1 – 2 SWI
    ECU 0 – 2 FRA

    1. Yes, but many of my readers know a lot about football, so presumably their picks are not random, but based on experience and knowledge. I would expect someone to guess correctly. Of course, unpredictable things like bites happen in these games, but your calculations are based on the assumption that each team in a match has the same probability of winning.

      1. I agree. Even I am skewing my prediction based on knowledge. But still, you know, football is a sport were chance plays a significant role (when both teams are at the same level as in this case).

        1. There is no chance – only unpredictability. There is no free will, the universe is deterministic, so only one outcome is possible at the final whistle – the trouble is we can deceive ourselves that there is more than one outcome – the illusion of predictability!

          1. Determinism doesn’t mean we can predict or calculate what can happen in practice. The calculation is outside our scope so for all practical purposes, probabilities are what matter.

            1. No – I was not clear – I mean there is one outcome only possible. The trouble is we cannot know what it is…

          2. So, I gather Suaruez did not bite of his own “free will”? 😉

            I speculate that he bites when he can’t get his way, that it’s his way of having a temper tantrum.

            I’m reminded of Ohio State coach Woody Hayes kicking a player of the opposing team as the player was running with the ball down the sidelines in front of the Ohio State bench, with an increasingly good chance of scoring a touchdown.

            Re: Hitch’s prefrontal lobe/adrenal gland quote.

      1. Well, this is football, with the teams at same level (more or less). I’m not too far from the truth. 

          1. Any amount of money I could afford for gambling (which not much at this time).

            Football is very different than say basketball (I almost “know” what the outcome would be for the USA – Angola game).

            Football is highly unpredictable.

  10. Nigeria 1 – Argentina 2
    Honduras 1 – Switzerland 2
    Bosnia 2 – Iran 1
    Ecuador 1 – France 3

    What do I win?

  11. Nigeria 1 – 2 Argentina

    Bosnia/Herzegovina 1 – 0 Iran

    Honduras 0 – 1 Switzerland

    France 2 – 0 Ecuador

  12. My Predictions:
    Iran 2 B/H 1
    Switzerland 2 Honduras 0
    France 3 Ecuador 1
    Argentina 2 Nigeria 1

  13. Nigeria 0 – 1 Argentina
    BosniaH 0 – 0 Iran
    Honduras 0 – 2 Schweiz
    Ecuador 1 – 4 France

  14. Must have a go: Nigeria 1 : Argentina 3 ;Honduras 0 : Switzerland 2 ; Bosnia 1 : Iran 1 ; Ecuador 0 : France 3

  15. 1. I expect Suarez to get an ate game ban

    2. Those odds must have been set for PR purposes. He’s played ~350 games for club & country and has bitten people twice. He is going to play, on average, 3-4 games at the World Cup. So he really had about a 1/100 chance of biting someone. Looks like value to me.

    3. Iran to win 1-0 (I hope)

    Argentina to win 2-0

    Honduras to draw 1-1

    France to win 3-0

    1. My odds are dodgy. I guess it depends if you think he’s running good or bad on biting people, if the gambling language makes sense to anyone.

      Also, I want Iran to win for world peace reasons. I think Pinker overlooked this bit – having global sports allows us to know that we have things in common with people we may reflexively dislike due to the country they live in. It’s similar to the idea that reading allows us to empathise with other people. It’s also hard to be isolationist when the whole world is watching the same thing.

  16. I liked the comments after the game from Ian Wright on the UK commentary. He said that Suarez didn’t know what he was doing, that he wasn’t the same person.

    That makes it quite interesting from a free will point of view. I subscribe to pure determinism, but Suarez biting seems to mean that the part of him that thinks it’s got free will wasn’t involved here.

  17. Suarez should face a year long ban, and only allowed to return to playing after than so long as he wears a muzzle.

  18. My prediction:
    Nigeria 1 – Argentina 3
    Bosnia/Herzegovina 1 – Iran 1
    Honduras 1 – Switzerland 3
    France 3 – Ecuador 0

  19. Nigeria 1 – Argentina 0
    Bosnia/Herzegovina 1 – Iran 1
    Honduras 1 – Switzerland 2
    France 3 – Ecuador 0

  20. Nigeria 1 – 1 Argentina
    Bos. Her. 1 – 0 Iran
    Honduras 0 – 2 Switzerland
    Ecuador 0 – 1 France

  21. I have a hazy memory of a family gathering where one cousin bit another and an aunt bit the biter to send a lesson. It was long ago, of course, and I heard that threat issued many times, so maybe it never happened. I recall with certainty that biting others was behavior virulently discouraged in youths in the community I was reared in. There are perhaps incidents where self-defense is a justification for biting, but otherwise it seems to me an act capable of inflicting severe damage, the spread of disease, and clearly criminal assault. The guy needs his ass kicked. He’s just lucky my aunt is too elderly to sink her dentures into a tender spot.

    1. “I recall with certainty that biting others was behavior virulently discouraged in youths in the community I was reared in”

      Slightly confused. Are you implying that children are brought up to bite people in Salto, Uruguay?

      1. I have no opinion about the rearing of children in Salto or any other community in Uruguay. I don’t know if I’ve ever met a single person who was raised in Uruguay. One day I hope to visit there, though.

  22. Argentina 2-1 Nigeria
    Bosnia 2-0 Iran
    Switzerland 1-0 Honduras
    France 3-1 Ecuador

    First it was the deliberate handball in 2010, now this biting incident in 2014. How low will Suarez go in 2018? Let’s hope Uruguay don’t qualify… or he gets banned for life by then.

  23. Nigeria 0 – 2 Argentina
    Bosnia/Herzegovina 1 – 1 Iran
    Honduras 2 – 1 Switzerland
    Ecuador 0 – 2 France

  24. Nigeria 0 – 3 Argentina
    Bosnia/Herzegovina 3 – 0 Iran
    Honduras 1 – 3 Switzerland
    Ecuador 0 – 2 France

  25. Nigeria 0 Argentina 2
    Bosnia & Herzegovina 2 Iran 0
    Honduras 1 Switzerland 1
    Ecuador 1 France 3

    I support Liverpool, but I won’t defend Suárez here. He has had some counselling and he had made some progress. Not enough, though.
    Now let’s see what way FIFA finds to make the whole situation even worse, though…

    1. Biting reminds us that we are animals. Couldn’t have that, could we? The damage done was much less than a malicious foul, and even the most violent of these are usually punished nothing more that a yellow or red card. If you judge the nip objectively by the injury it caused, a one-game suspension would not seem overly lenient. Or am I being irrational?

      1. Biting has the potential to pass on diseases, such as HIV, which are generally not transmitted by tripping someone.

  26. Nigeria 2 – 2 Argentina
    Bosnia/Herzegovina 1 – 1 Iran
    Honduras 1 – 1 Switzerland
    Ecuador 0 – 2 France

  27. Predictions:
    Argentina 2, Nigeria 0;
    Iran 1, Bosnia-H 1;
    Switzerland 2, Honduras 1;
    France 3, Ecuador 1

  28. If a player (Babatunde, Nigeria) breaks his forearm, why do they have to patch it on the field? Why can’t he walk to the sideline, or be carried there?

  29. I’ve read the comments and I must say I expected a bit more from an atheism oriented group of participants. First, I don’t know what religion Suárez has but we shouldn’t assume he is Catholic. He could very well be an athesit considering Uruguay has the largest percentage of atheists in the Americas. I know he married in a Catholic ceremony but that doesn’t mean much. Weddings in Uruguay are often held in churches for social or traditional reasons rather than religious. My parents in Uruguay were both atheists and had me baptised just so it would be easier for me to marry in a church had I wanted to. I’ve been an atheist since birth but married in a church to please my wife. My brother and sister are also atheists and married in a church.
    Second, capybaras are not fish, they are rodents (the biggest in the world, by the way).
    It is clear that Suárez, who is regarded one of the top four players in the world alongside Messi, Ronaldo and Neymar, has an emotional problem. And he must address it. But he shouldn’t be kicked while he’s on the ground. It would seem to me unbecoming of us as atheists. I thought we were more understanding than society as a whole. Everyone that knows Suárez says the same: he is a sweet, shy, humble guy. Born into a broken family in the slums of a rural town in Uruguay he didn’t have an easy start. The once troubled teen attributes his turn around in life to his sweetheart and now wife who he’s been with since they were both fourteen. Not a single day goes by without him telling anyone around that his life is his wife and two young children and that he ows everything to them. This is not a asshole. This is a man with an emotional problem that must be taken care of clinically. And this problem sufaces only when confronted with defeat on the pitch, nowhere else (“If he behaved at home like he behaves on the field I would’t be with him”, as his wife says). Lets hope he can resolve this.
    And I can’t wait to face Colombia on Saturday. Vamos LA CELESTE!

    1. “But he shouldn’t be kicked while he’s on the ground.”

      I don’t suppose that he should be bit either.

    2. No, I feel sorry for Suarez. too…, but, alas, I cannot resist bad jokes on occasion. I should prefer Suarez to a toothless English gentleman any time (not to eat or bite, however – I want to avoid misunderstanding). The point about capybaras, by the way, is that the Catholic Church is said to have classified them as fish, on the grounds – so to speak -that they lived in water, in order that good Catholics might be able to eat them on Fridays: they were a favourite Lenten dish in Venezuela. Similarly, young rabbits were classified by the Church as fish in the Middle Ages (to keep the monks happy), while in Japan, where I live, they were classified as birds so that Buddhist monks could enjoy them; also in Japan, it seems that wild boar meat used to be sold as ‘mountain whale’, the animal being therefore classified as a fish (since in those days, the Japanese thought that whales were fish…

    3. Eduardo, I must take issue with you there. Capybaras are fish, not only to allow us to eat meat on Fridays, but also from a taxonomic point of view.
      We all agree sharks and flounders are fish? Then all tetrapods (four legged animals, such as pit-vipers, kiwis and humans) are fish, which would include the capybaras.
      This also explains why we can have a bite of Jesus’ flesh even on Fridays, since he is the son of man and hence a fish (that is presumably where this ICHTIS symbol comes from).
      Point is: the fact that Suarez shows recurrent cannibalistic tendencies strongly supports the thesis that -despite the poorer quarters of Montevideo apparently being hotbeds of atheism- he probably is a catholic.

    4. He should be banned from the game. If he behaves better at home, then let him stay home.

      Banning him from the game is not about kicking him while he’s on the ground. It’s about protecting the other players.

    5. This is the third time he has bitten somebody. Of course he needs a (metaphorical, not actual) kick.

      Anyway, this ESPN article written before the World Cup started provides a huge insight into Suarez (IMO).

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