My rodential offspring: name him

June 1, 2014 • 2:11 pm

I’ve seen only one young squirrel in this year’s crop, but I’m sure this one’s mine—that is, I am sure that, by feeding his mom copiously, I helped bring him into being. What pride!

And, today I verified that it’s a male, for he stood up while eating a peanut, and, sure enough, he had a penis.  So, I’m asking readers what I should call him. I’m sure he’ll be around for a while, for, as you can see, he’s in very good shape.  Here he is drinking water and nomming his seeds (he went for the birdseed, too):

115 thoughts on “My rodential offspring: name him”

    1. How about JC?

      I wish to make a complaint…
      Sorry sir, we’re just closing for lunch!
      … about this here parrot which I purchased from this very boutique not half an hour ago.

      1. Dear gravelinspector-Aidan, I’m afraid you will have to educate the uninformed here as to how this relates to JC. I had to google it to find out it is from a Monty Python skit (yes, THAT uninformed).

        1. Ah. One of the few people in the world to have never heard of the Dead Parrot Sketch.

          You will find a working knowledge of Monty Python is a great help in following comments on this ‘ere notablog.

          JC = John Cleese

        2. OH dear, oh very dear.
          In the hooplah around the Life of Brian, there were many public disembowellings (is that too strong? No.), in caricature, of the Bishop of Southwark following his hilariously weak performance against Cleese an Palin on a “serious chat” arts show.
          One of these caricature disembowellings inverted the state of the nation and had Britain a society of Pythonists, and the Bishop presenting a heretical, blasphemous film called “Life of Christ”. And the Pythonist establishment were up in arms about all the un-subtle insults to Pythonism embodied in this “Life of Christ” film – for example “Even the initials are the same : Jesus Christ – John Cleese” [indignant outrage].
          It was AB-so-LUTE-ly EFF-ing HIL-ari-OUS. Rolling in the aisles, helpless with mirth stuff. Delivered deadpan, with vitriol and savagery. A tour de force for the power of satire to render the powerful powerless.
          And in the middle, part of the Pythonist liturgy : “where so ever three or more are gathered together, they shall perform the Parrot Sketch.”
          Maybe you had to be there at the time. Repeats don’t have the effect of getting the original (hilarious) broadcast on the Friday, and from the Monday onwards (Not …) a stream of savage indictment of the god squad. Then spending most of the Religious Education class at school mid-week “debating” the topic, and finding that for once I wasn’t the target of vitriol from the GodSquad in the year group, because they knew they were on the back foot.
          Sorry – sometimes I forget that other English-speaking countries didn’t have Python as a formative influence.

          1. I’m sure you noticed, but that’s the link I posted just above.

          2. Actually, since the bandwidth assigned to Youtube is capped at 10kbps, shared between around a hundred people, I don’t make any serious attempt at YouTubing when I’m at work. If I’m lucky, I’ll get 2 or 3 frames through every couple of minutes. It’s not worth the effort.

          3. Ah, OK. Try that link at home, it’s a good-quality video.

            (Quite coincidentally, the email notifying of your post locked up my laptop. Does it every time I try to read it. This is weird because my mailreader program is running on my desktop server downstairs and I’m just using my laptop ssh’d into the server as a handy terminal. Every email relating to this topic does the same if I try to read them – but only this topic. Bizarre!)

          4. Every email on this topic, or every one from WordPress?
            Does sound odd.

    3. Oh great – he’ll be breaking stallions by 16, and conquering the world’s biggest empire before he’s out of his 30s. Do you know what you’ve started?
      I, for one, welcome our new sqrl-ine overlord!

  10. I suggest “Banner,” the name of the young, male squirrel who was raised by a cat in a book entitled “Bannertail: The Story of Gray Squirrel” by Ernest Thompson Seten. Amazon has a good summary of the story.

  13. Corey. Lots of Swedes emigrated to Chicago, and Swedish for squirrel is ekorre. Hence Corey. Or Korey.

    1. Thanks. I was just trying for a translation!

      Your suggestion gets my vote, naturally.

    2. I was hunting for testicle-themed (or virility, or sack-like… anything) in a database of Indian baby names… because I’m just that kind-of guy… I haven’t come across anything promising yet.

      But I did see an entry for the name “Anadi”. The database said it meant “eternal anal fire”.

      I think the authors got it wrong… (apologies to any Anadis out there who may be reading this). I think the “Anal” is also a name, accented on the second syllable, which does mean “fire”. So the name Anadi was really supposed to be “Eternal Anal”… eternal fire, not everlasting hemorrhoid.

      But I do approve of “Testicles” (pronounced clees on the end as you suggest). It is a mainstay joke with my Greek colleague in Athens, as we work on a projct involving boatloads of names.

      This popped into my head just now: “Mr. Balljangles”. Cause I’m that kind of guy.

      1. I too tried to come up with ballsy names but when nothing immediately struck, I gave up. I think this is psychological growth for me. Heh, growth just made me remember dirty Pompeii gravity about gladiators. Ok maybe I’m not that mature yet.

        1. Pompeii graffiti? Did autocorrect get ya that time?

          OTOH ‘Mr Balljangles’ does suggest the influence of gravity…

          1. Yeah, I was using my iPad all day yesterday & it has its own ideas of words.

  17. I vote for Tufty – after the 1970’s leading road safety sqrl!!

    Just google it..!

          3. …and, if you want something of his actually worth listening to and not an earworm:

            He actually does quite well on that one….

            b&

    1. I like that. A respectable enough name for him to apply for credit cards. Or college.

  24. Honor the classics: Call him “Rocket J Squirrel”. The omission of a period after the “J” is deliberate, because like Harry S Truman, Rocky’s middle initial doesn’t stand for anything.

    1. The creator of the Simpsons and Futurama plays an homage to Rocky by giving his characters a J initial as their middle name: Homer J Simpson, Phillip J Fry. 🙂

  26. Assuming it’s an Eastern Grey Squirrel, here is one way to determine the name.

    Binomial name: Sciurus carolinensis

    The specific epithet, carolinensis, refers to the Carolinas, where the species was first recorded and where the animal is still extremely common.

    Hence, he should be named Carl or Carol (both possible male forms of Caroline). It is somewhat silly to name a squirrel “Carl” — good, I dare say “iconic” for a squirrel.

    Also, when someone replies: “His name is Carl!? What where you thinking!?” You can then flaunt the taxonomical reason, instead of “some reader suggested it” 😀

    2. The specific epithet, carolinensis, refers to the Carolinas

      And the Carolinas were named for Carolus Linnæus. Always worth remembering.
      So for the full binomial, perhaps Carolus Coynensis?

      1. On October 30, 1629, King Charles I granted a patent to Sir Robert Heath for the lands south of 36 degrees and north of 31 degrees, “under the name, in honor of that king, of Carolina.”[7] Carolus is Latin for ‘Charles’.

        But I’m sure you were kidding anyway.

        1. WordPress should institustusetue bloody word! “support” a “sarcasm” tag, which displays the text in barber-poling colours, plays an audible trumpet and does something obscene in Lynx and screen readers.

          1. Trumpets aren’t typically sarcastic. Bellicose, yes, but not generally sarcastic.

            You want sarcastic? Try a bassoon….

            b&

  27. My 90 year old mother is feeding a squirrel at a window who entertains her cats – she calls him Squirrel Eddie. And if she says Squirrel Eddie’s here (in case they actually miss the sounds), the cats are there ASAP. There have probably been many Squirrel Eddie’s but her cats know the name so for years – it’s Squirrel Eddie!

  31. insouciant.

    In honor of your contributions to expanding my, and no doubt others’, vocabulary.

    Plus, the squirrel does seem rather insouciant.

  34. I’d call him Mike, for my colleague and friend Michael Steele, who knows as much about Sciurus carolinensis behavior as anyone.

  35. Hitch. A short, easily remembered name and a memorial to one who should not be forgotten. The original Hitch would have loved having a squirrel named after him.

  36. Have you named his mom? (If not, why not??)
    If you have, this one cld be “[momname]’s Son” or “[monname]’s Boy”.
    Anc Congratulations!

  38. Ach, what was I thinking??

    Of course, the squirrel must be named

    Deepak!

    Just another nutty squirrel!

  39. Heath. After Heath Ledger and because your offspring is a virtual denizen of your window ledge. Or maybe Heathcliff. (having one of those days today….)

  40. The Great Rupert, or just Rupert.

    “The Great Rupert, is a 1950 comedy family film, produced by George Pal, directed by Irving Pichel and starring Jimmy Durante, Tom Drake and Terry Moore.”
    “The story revolves around a little animated squirrel who, with lots of charm, accidentally helps two economically distressed families overcome their obstacles.”

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Great_Rupert

  42. Quill. Obscrube, but fitting name. If not, Alex(ander) — ruminate, ancient, and powerful.

  43. Call him, “Charles.” In honor of Charles Darwin!

    Onward!

    John

    2. If Steve, you should get him photographed with Professor Steve Steve.

  45. Jerry,

    I’m trying to find the post you did on the Heron that ate the black bunny. Where can I find it?

    Thanks, Peggy Carlan

  46. I givemy animal companions simple names. “Sam” squirrel seems appropriate. It avoids all the cutesy names. He is strong and independent.

  48. My first thought was “Skippy” which is also a peanut butter brand, but I just like the name.

    I think Earl [Grey] the [Grey] Squirrel would be cute.

    The Polish word for “ledge” is półka. Polka the squirrel? *shrug* The Polish word for rodent is gryzoń which could be adapted as “Grayson” and he is indeed, a gray son

  49. Um… if it was me, I might just go with something like “Sqrl,” which seems appropriate to a professional Coyne-sqrl relationship. (Besides, it’s just referential, right? Presumably he’ll use his own name in parallel if he has one.)

  51. How about Chew-Chew Charlie?

    Or Rock-a-Doodle-Doo?

    Or maybe Ratatosk / Ratatoskr, the squirrel who scampers up and down the tree Yggdrasil in order to spread gossip?

    Miko / Meeko / Mikew (lots of spelling variants) who, according to Abenaki and other folklore, was once a huge predator like a bear or wolf. He had to be shrunken down to his current size so that he would no longer be such a threat to humans.

    Anikwa – the Illini tribe’s word for squirrel. Maybe he’s related to Anikwa Skywalker. Don’t let him go over to the Dark Side. He might become Darth Invader of Noms.

    I like the Earl Grey Squirrel suggestion, too!

    Ande

    1. Ratatosk is good! I think I need to reread the myths. How could I forget The Gossipy One!?

  54. MUNCHer, after what he’s obviously good at and one of my favourite painters.

  56. Your comment on feeding the mom reminds me of what I call the (in-shell) peanuts that we buy for our critters: squirrel larvae.

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