This is not a joke: according to the Guardian and other sources like the BBC, Ratzi—Pope Benedict XVI—is to step down on February 28. That’s 17 days from now. He is 85 years old.
Here’s the full text of the pope’s statement from Vatican Radio.
Dear Brothers,
I have convoked you to this Consistory, not only for the three canonisations, but also to communicate to you a decision of great importance for the life of the Church. After having repeatedly examined my conscience before God, I have come to the certainty that my strengths, due to an advanced age, are no longer suited to an adequate exercise of the Petrine ministry.
I am well aware that this ministry, due to its essential spiritual nature, must be carried out not only with words and deeds, but no less with prayer and suffering. However, in today’s world, subject to so many rapid changes and shaken by questions of deep relevance for the life of faith, in order to govern the bark of Saint Peter and proclaim the Gospel, both strength of mind and body are necessary, strength which in the last few months, has deteriorated in me to the extent that I have had to recognise my incapacity to adequately fulfil the ministry entrusted to me.
For this reason, and well aware of the seriousness of this act, with full freedom I declare that I renounce the ministry of Bishop of Rome, Successor of Saint Peter, entrusted to me by the Cardinals on 19 April 2005, in such a way, that as from 28 February 2013, at 20:00 hours, the See of Rome, the See of Saint Peter, will be vacant and a Conclave to elect the new Supreme Pontiff will have to be convoked by those whose competence it is.
Dear Brothers, I thank you most sincerely for all the love and work with which you have supported me in my ministry and I ask pardon for all my defects. And now, let us entrust the Holy Church to the care of Our Supreme Pastor, Our Lord Jesus Christ, and implore his holy Mother Mary, so that she may assist the Cardinal Fathers with her maternal solicitude, in electing a new Supreme Pontiff. With regard to myself, I wish to also devotedly serve the Holy Church of God in the future through a life dedicated to prayer.
From the Vatican, 10 February 2013
BENEDICTUS PP XVI
This is the first time any pope has resigned since 1415 (Pope Gregory XII).
This happened only half an hour ago and I have no more news, but the Guardian is continually updating coverage on its website.
Now what happens to a retired pope?
h/t: Martin
I’m only disappointed that they’ll just go and elect another one.
And one at least as rigid and conservative as Ratzi – else how can they avoid a major dust-up?
When he’s retired, does that mean he loses his diplomatic immunity and can be sued?
More like arrest him, hopefully.
That’s probably why he plans to live out his life holed up in the Vatican, rather out in some spacious, gracious Tuscan villa with gardens and fountains and distant vistas.
Geoffrey Robertson, QC, has just pointed out on BBC Newsnight that as he is no longer a head of “state”, he is no longer immune from prosecution, as you suggest. It is therefore possible for people who suffered abuse at the hands of priests whom he refused, in his previous role, to hand over to the police, could raise legal actions against him. That could be interesting, and indeed in my view wholly appropriate.
Didn’t see Robertson.
But wouldn’t Benedict’s position be similar to Pinochet’s when they tried to do him for massacring his own (they should have chucked monetarism on to the charge sheet while they were at it). And didn’t Pinochet never stand trial? Wasn’t the defence that he was too ill to stand trial?
Wouldn’t the Pope take the same defence? Is there a legal expert out there who can run through the possibilities? This could be the trial of the century, to lapse into journalese.
Irish betting site is including Richard Dawkins in the running. Odds: 666 to 1. Seems about right.
http://www.paddypower.com/bet/novelty-betting/current-affairs/pope-betting
ack… that was supposed to be a comment at the bottom, not to Dermot C.
Pinochet *could* have been tried for those acts, because they were criminal when committed by states too (e.g., states can’t lawfully commit genocide, so the head of state can’t rely on immunity for ordering genocide). However, he was found to be too old and infirm to stand trial anyway.
He would remain immune from prosecution for any acts that he committed *as* head of state, though, wouldn’t he?
I don’t know; what I want to see is prosecution for the cover-ups he carried out as head of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith.
This, pretty much. He had a lot of dubious stuff pass across his desk before he was made pope.
I suspect twitter is what wore him down.
+1
LOL.
I wrote this three years ago: Pope comes out as deep-cover atheist
Nice one, David. Over at J&M this prediction by Acolyte of Sagan has resurfaced:
A retired pope will be praying!
“Now what happens to a retired pope.”
A la politicos, give speeches to various chambers of commerce for a handsome fee?
That last time a pope resigned was in the schism http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Western_Schism
Didn’t realize there were three popes then!
Retired popes usually go and live in a monastery in the mountains.
Or they are assassinated.
Actually most Catholics will be celebrating this news. They can’t wait to see the end of the old fart. The college of cardinala will simply have to elect a progressive pope this time around in order to avoid the mass exodus of all reasonable minded Catholics. They won’t suffer another failure like Ratszig.
Or the cardinals will recall that their congregations are larger, indeed still growing, in the so-called developing world, where Catholic conservatism earns more converts than liberalism.
Perhaps we’re about to see the world’s first non-European pope.
The Guardian website suggests this guy’s a contender: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Turkson
It’s going to be another conservative, they elect from within and you don’t end up a cardinal unless you tow the party line. Some exceptions but they don’t have a snowballs chance in hell of winning this particular political game.
And from (excuse me) Wikipedia:
“HIV/AIDS and condoms
In 2009, [Turkson] reaffirmed the Catholic social teaching on contraception, in regard to statements made by Pope Benedict XVI that condoms were not a solution to Africa’s AIDS crisis and were taken out of context by the media. Turkson did not rule out condoms in all circumstances suggesting they could be useful in the situation of a married, faithful couple where one partner is infected; although he warns that, as the quality of condoms in Africa is poor, their use could engender false confidence. He said abstinence, fidelity, and refraining from sex if infected were the key to fighting the epidemic. He also believes that the money being spent on condoms would be better spent providing anti-retroviral drugs to those already infected.”
The only type of reasonable minded catholic is one who has left.
Not sure about the next one being a progressive pope. Chasing after the overwhelmingly liberal western catholics who more and more ignore anything said in Rome (vis-à-vis contraception, gay rights, and so on) is a losing proposition, and they know it. Kind of like closing the barn doors after the flock has already escaped. They might go for a more fundamentalist candidate, perhaps an African or Latin American cardinal, where the catholic church still has quite a lot of power and authority and room to grow (at least in Africa) and where the old fire & brimstone style church still is rather popular.
This is almost certainly to be the case. The chance that the Cardinals will go for a progressive pope is near zero.
Probably not.
It can always get worse. It frequently does get worse.
The next Pope is more likely to make Ratzinger look like a moderate as anything.
There has been a struggle between moderate and fundie Cardinals for centuries. The moderates have lost the vast majority of the time.
Not according to the AP:
This may sound shallow, but … hopefully, the next guy won’t look like a demon.
Who knows, they might pick someone who’s not a Nazi with a history of covering up child rape. If they can find any.
My candidate: Nanni Moretti.
Benigni would make a better pope.
Isabella Rosallini. Great Pope she’d make.
@ CHristoClochard.
In fairness to the bloke, I thought I saw signs of early onset Alzheimer’s in his progressively jowly and proto-sinister demeanour. I ain’t no expert, however. Still you suspect a lot of euphemism in his resignation statement, particularly in the references to his deteriorating health. Maybe he knows the diagnosis. Then again, this could all be speculation.
I can totally appreciate that. I admittedly made a cheap comment. Was feeling cheap.
No need to apologize, ChristoC…my reaction to this STUNNING (evidently, judging from the Media coverage blitz) development of the pope retiring is: >Yawn<
Early onset? Seriously; Pope Indulgence is 85 years old, and was 77 when his papacy began. If he was suffering from Alzheimer’s or any other kind of dementia, there would be no need to label it early onset.
Yeah, I meant early stage; the lion-face and all that.
Alzheimer’s was the first thing I thought of, but I did not realize there were such visual clues.
Me dad got it; and yes, the lion-face is there. Dad’s face started to ‘hang’ and I thought I saw the same in the Pope, especially over the last year or so. But I underline, Diane, I AM speculating; I’ve heard Parkinson’s mentioned re: Benedict.
@ ChristoClochard
btw, I wasn’t having a go at you re: your ‘demon’ comment and I didn’t want you to feel bad.
“With regard to myself, I wish to also devotedly serve the Holy Church of God in the future through a life dedicated to prayer.”
That should help out the Holy Church of God a lot. Especially considering his former popeness status. Pope prayers can do a lot of stuff, you know. Very powerful stuff.
Right! As if his life before resignation was not already drenched in prayer, dripping with perspiration born from grovelling on bended knee–well in his case, more like sulking in his velvet, golden throne–and well saturated with votive chants.
Perhaps, in that twisted world of the pathetic Petrine perspective, a resigned pope’s prayers are more potent? Comings from lips that will know soon the precious presence of the divine beloved? Instead of Ratty making up for lost time and visiting every brothel in the world? 🙂
I have my doubts that this obviously decrepit guy is capable of composing such a missive on his own. And, good riddance, old chap. Soon your bones will be rotting along with countless others, you misguided, puffed up fool.
And as for his equally foolish replacement, you will unrelentingly get lampooned also. Something to look forward to…
Note well the use of Dear Brothers in Ratty’s salulation–the most infamous boys’ club of them all.
When you get old, verbal ability often sticks around longer than any other mental capacity, and this was written pretty much entirely in duckspeak so wouldn’t have required more than the spinal column.
Duckspeak, as in talking out of his Anas?
Good one! 😀
The more time praying the less time promulgating evil.
I wouldn’t be so sure of that. I wager that it’s when praying that the most evil shit pops into their heads, which they then take as an answer from God.
I wonder if there is more to it than meets the eye. Maybe some new scandal that points straight to him, and he is getting out now before it breaks?
He found an even worse replacement?
Maybe he’s tired of selling what he won’t buy.
I wondered the same, since they just released a huge pile of documents from LA, and there are sex abuse commissions starting in Australia and controversy over an ongoing one in Germany. Its also entirely possible that the whole scandal with the Vatican bank and the documents released by his butler may have left him feeling isolated.
Awww…
No more eggs benedict jokes.
(Or maybe hooray!)
I think you’ll find he’s now an ex-Benedict (gotta have one for the road!)
Fascinating, he must think the church is better off without him. Remarkably honest for a pope.
What happens to a retired Pope? Why, he goes off to live in a retirement home in Jackson, Mississippi.
Well, I for one am glad that after his resignation there will be one less infallible person on this earth.
Also, he’s a closet atheist for sure…
Only a shame that he’s a child-rape apologist atheist.
Yes, what happened to infallibility there?
You name the next pope contest:
http://www.paleolibrarian.info/2013/02/you-name-next-pope-contest.html
Enjoy!
I’m pretty sure it wont be Benedict XVII. The next one won’t want to ride on his coattails.
Hmmm, there have been enough Leos…maybe Scar?
How about Dwayne?
Guido, as in Father Guido Sarducci.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10200687975988456&set=a.2051690378536.2128691.1432815352&type=1&ref=nf
He’s throne it all away and left the church all at see! You’d think he mitre given them more advance warning. But his mind’s made up and he won’t wafer or altar his decision.
+1
though groan-worthy…
I wish you’d censer yourself the next time you feel urge to pun like that. …this kind of myrrth gets me incensed, frankly.
Mea culpa runneth over.
Benedict was too pooped to pope.
Sorry. Someone has to state the obvious.
As for me, I took this news an an opportunity to go re-listen to Tim Minchin’s Pope Song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTIorwtJbhE
🙂
Pope, 85, resigns. Attenborough, 86, still going strong. Science & nature FTW.
+ Pi
Royalty & Religious leaders are embracing this stepping down lark. I can see Charlie waving the newspaper under his mothers nose right now!
+2
First person I want to see step down in that family would be Charlie. Useless piece of woo-laden baggage.
It is obviously clear to even an Alzheimer’s ridden old pope that the church is better off without him, but it just as clear that the monarchy would not be better off without EII. I’m sure all the establishment lie awake at night in fear of her demise. Anything could happen with Charles at the helm.
Dear Brothers,
Pretty much sums up a vile misogynistic leader of a vile misogynistic organization.
but but but… Noah was in his 500’s when he built the ark. The Pope is a young 85. It’s not like he is doing any manual labor.
Pope says St. Peter is barking…..
Retiring at only 85? Christopher Lee is 91, and that doesn’t stop him from being FUCKING AWESOME.
The pope will retire to a monastery with hot and cold running cardinals and monks waiting upon him, eventually will die and have a whiz bang funeral, become a saint, and like all other popes, achieve irrelevancy.
Ps:
NPR, awestruck, announced the news over and over with their usual MOnday so-called correspondent, a catholic….fairness in media?????
Pope gives up papacy for Lent.
The above comment deserves special recognition. Fantastic.
We do need a progressive Pope!!!!!
I think those two words are incompatible.
If that is true it’s very sad!
Given that popes are leaders of a theocratic institution that is little changed since the Middle Ages, and given that popes are elected by a group of old men who have themselves been chosen for their obedience institutional tradition, and given that this collection of old men was selected by old Ratzi himself, the chances of a “progressive” pope approximate zero.
John-Paul XXIII was one such, strenuously opposed by much of the Curia all of his term. John VI, likely to have been equally progressive, probably was murdered by the inner mafia in the Vatican. Oh yeah – hope for nothing!
Perhaps you mean John XXIII and John Paul I, respectively.
There is no John Paul XXIII, and John VI was pope 1300 years ago and does not seem to have been especially progressive.
If that is true it’s very sad!
‘Progressive’ is not per se positive:
paralysis can be progressive, too.
What does a retired pope do? Well, in his case, I hear they’re making some new Star Wars movies. He’d make a really good evil emperor, he had years of practice after all. And given that he is catholic clergy, they could easily retain the old one’s name, as “Palpate-a-teen” does seem like an apt name.
He doesn’t have the voice for it, sadly. When I first heard him speak, I was surprised by how soft spoken and not gravelly he is.
Of course, they could always use him as a stunt double in an action flick. They could save on their special effects budget that way.
Nice evidence that the bible is still full of BS. I guess that the claim that “13 Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. 14 Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. 15 And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up.” – James 5 is a complete lie.
oh and does this mean that we have another failed prophecy? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prophecy_of_the_Popes
Phil. 4:13
“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” — apparently not ALL things….
I’m guessing the reason Popes die in office is so they don’t revert back to being mere mortals in the eyes of revering billions and can go on and become saints or whatever. How are those followers going to treat him now? I suspect he won’t be long on this earth or that could go horribly wrong for them, but would help the anti-religious cause by showing them all he’s just a man, nothing more.
See ya Joey…enjoy the big fat pension
They usually part them out for relics. Hopefully, they will at least let this one die first.
One of the weirder Catholic beliefs is that dead bodies have magic powers. Their institutions and churches are full of “saints relics”, bones of long dead people (and probably a few animals) that are supposed to do miraculous things.
From this, we know that jesus had 17 penises, the number of jesus foreskins at one time in RCC churches.
And from the gathered splinters from his cross we could easily rebuild all the world’s cathedrals.
It could get ugly
“Dear brothers”
There are no sisters in that cult.
Just like in the Muslim Brotherhood and most other religious man-clubs.
Which makes me want to ask the women in these ancient mindsets to step up and say;
“Stop the nonsense. Let me off!”
FWIW, it says ‘brothers’ because it’s addressed to the college of cardinals, which are all male, NOT that it’s addressed to all catholics and is excluding women.
More precisely, “Non habebimus papam”; resignation isn’t effective until the end of the month.
I for one, am really sad that all these world leaders are being so generous. Some rabbi was on the BBC talking about how good he’s been for relations to Jews and Muslims. Really! The guy that caused global outrage by reinstating the prayers for the conversion of Jews, and who outraged Muslims with a poorly thought out quotation. That David Cameron, while pushing for gay marriage, should laud the guy that claims that gay marriage is a threat civilization is just sad. That Angela Merkel should salute someone who is steadfast in his refusal to accept that her second marriage is valuable, or own up to the huge sex abuse coverup in her country.
Ratzinger’s whole Papacy has been one long string of failures… and I wish that the reporting reflected that.
I found the description and the titles in the penultimate paragraph both odious and laughable. I’ve said it before and I will say it again, these men are people who feel disillusioned at the reality that the world of Harry Potter does not exist, so they play dress-up, give themselves fancy names, and then try to imbue themselves with mystical power by espousing the most regressive nonsense that they can currently get away with.
February 11, 2013
SHARE TWEET FORWARD
Pope’s Decision to Come Out of Retirement Stirs Controversy
VATICAN (The Borowitz Report)—Pope Benedict XVI stunned the world for the second time in twenty-four hours today by announcing his decision to come out of retirement.
Read more at newyorker.com.
linky here
Out of retirement and world tour coming up.
Infirmity? Surely he’s heard of Viagra.
So Jesus did not bless the Pope with good health. I am sure the Pope prayed for it. If Jesus cannot help the Pope whom is he willing to help?
When Pope Celestine V resigned, he was captured and imprisoned by his successor, Pope Boniface VIII. There he was kept in such foul conditions that he died after 10 months. A hole in Celestine’s skull suggests to some historians that Boniface VIII actually had him murdered.
The Church loves to follow tradition, and this is one tradition they should certainly follow!
Catholic gadfly, historian, former priest, atheist and Ingersall contemporary, Joseph McCabe, claims that cardinals critical of Celestine V impersonated the voice of God in getting Celestine V to resign. According to McCabe, the cardinals somehow rigged a megaphone or similar device to pipe that message into the pope’s bedroom and he resigned the next day. Celestine was a tragic figure.
Ex Benedict.
lol.
Does this mean i’m more catholic than the pope? lolz.
This should not come as a shock. He is too old anyway. People in other professions usually retire much earlier. . They should have cut off age for someone to be a Pope. Nobody over 69 should be a Pope.
The last phrase is all too easily, if perhaps appropriately, misread as:
“Nobody should be over a Pope in a 69.”
Benedict may be trying to avoid what happened to his predecessor. Apparently, towards the end of JPII’s reign, they would wheel him out each day, despite being completely out of it, just so dignitaries could get photos with him.
I was thinking this, too. He would have seen this up close and not wanted it for himself. A very doddery old guy is not a good image for the Church.
Same kind of thing has happened in the LDS church, where the oldest of the “First Presidency” succeeds to the post of “Prophet, Seer, and Revelator”, and stays in it until he dies.
Within living memory, at least one PS&R was completely ga-ga in his last years and was never dressed in anything more formal than a sweat suit and Depends™. Or so the story goes.
If cardinals over the age of 80 can be prohibited from voting on a new pope under the presumption of diminished mental capacity (and they are), then I don’t see how any pope can justify staying in that job beyond that age.
Perhaps popes are not that reasonable.
>>with full freedom I declare that I renounce the ministry of Bishop of Rome<<
Hah! He said full freedom. 🙂
Does this mean he thinks he could have done otherwise? Or does this mean nobody put a gun to his head?
It’s stated that way so it unquestionably conforms to the requirements laid down for papal resignations.
Yes, it means nobody put a gun to his head. Supposedly!
When Ratzi retires, will he be ex-Benedict?
Sorry for the bad pun.
Ooops. Beat to the punch.
The last German emperor has resigned. HALLELUJA!
I recommend marking the occasion with a nice bottle of Spätlese Riesling and the movie “Habemus Papam” (“We have a pope”) by Nanni Moretti – you will never forget you first watched this beautiful, fun film today of all days!
a truly excellent film. Quite funny. thanks.
youtube links for the film, 5 parts, Italian, dubbed in English: preface these bits with
“www.youtube.com/”
watch?v=E7KqXzoKvfA
watch?v=80kqi3lRG6g
watch?v=Qvd4wvMRIRU
watch?v=9N0g4mdVKWI
watch?v=3_Cx6TTd2fI
Indeed a splendid film, with Michel Piccoli as a brilliant pope! And certainly a must for anyone who wishes to become one!
<a href="http://www.imdb.com/rg/s/4/title/tt1456472/#lb-vi2910298393"See trailer
We didn’t have any Spätlese Riesling at home, but NetFlix does have “We have a pope” available, so my wife and I watched it last night. An fine little film. We quite enjoyed ourselves, although a spot of wine would have been nice to go with it!
You might have had Chateauneuf du Pape.
That would have been an appropriate selection!
Especially if it was old, tired and drying out.
Sadly late to the party.
I heard this news on NPR, and my only thought was “I hope whatever you have is slowly debilitating and extremely painful. A week or more of unrelenting suffering for you for every tear shed by a child at the hands of one of the monsters you call a ‘priest’.”
Actually, given who they say they are, their supposed lineage, etc, it would be more fitting if all popes were crucified. Especially this one.
Seen on Twitter: “I did Nazi that coming.”
On a lighter note.
Benedict – ‘guess what I’m giving up for lent!’
Ha Ha Ha!
It is a little weird for a Pope to give two weeks notice.
So Ratti is getting a divorce from God! I thought they were supposed to die in the saddle or get murdered?
There’s still time to get murdered.
It’s worth mentioning that Benedict XVI was much more than the head of the Catholic Church. He was also an intellectual with an extensive knowledge of a variety of subjects whose thoughtful remarks often made us think about the world’s most daunting problems. What I loved about him was his keen interest in the protection of the environment. He spoke openly about the threats such as global warming and other challenges we’ll have to face in the years to come. In my native Vancouver there’s now a project called Greenest City 2020 Action Plan whose aim is to eliminate the negative impact that our actions often have on the environment and it seems to me that those in power are reluctant to speak about these problems or support the activities carried out by various environmental movements. And I have to say Pope Benedict was never afraid to raise his voice to warn against the possible disastrous consequences in this particular area. I think he should be a source of inspiration for a number of leaders and that’s why he will definitely be missed by many here in Canada.
I think most of us are quite aware that Beni was “more than the head of the Catholic Church”. We are aware of his role for decades in the coverup and protection of pedophile priests. We are aware of his efforts to rehabilitate holocaust right wing extremist cult leaders. We are aware of the devastation of AIDS in Africa and his role in discouraging the use of condoms. We are aware of the attempts by the Church under the direction of Pope Benedict XVI to meddle in the politics, working to deny civil rights to gay people. And we are aware of his role in leading the Church’s efforts to prevent access to contraception and abortion services for women.
I’m not particularly impressed by Ratzinger. Whatever intellectual gifts he might have possessed, he used them largely in support of a medieval institution that is responsible for untold misery. I will miss him far less than I miss Richard Nixon.