Well, I knew the examiner.com is a pretty trashy news source, though I don’t know much about it, but this time it’s reached a new low. In a piece called “What are the Biblical cryptids of cryptozoology?“, writer Dale Stuckwish (an appropriate name!), susses out what the creatures mentioned in scripture actually were. He obviously has a God-given ability (perhaps conferred through revelation) to help us make zoological sense of God’s Word.
First, his background (from The Examiner):
Dale Stuckwish is a born-again Biblical Creationist in the Lord Jesus Christ. He loves to study the Word of God(Holy Bible). He loves also to study biology, astronomy, and zoology and how it relates to the bible. Dale resides in Pennsylvania and works in Pittsburgh as a security consultant.
Stuckwish has published a number of creationist pieces on the site, including “Evidences of a Biblical worldwide flood,” “Coelacanth: a creationist’s dream fish, but an evolutionist’s nightmare,” and “The Bible and science facts for Pittsburgh creationists.” He’s also written a book on Biblical cryptozoology (the hidden animals of the Bible).
What is a creationist doing polluting a public forum like this, misleading readers with his Biblical pishposh? Only the Examiner knows for sure.
At any rate, through his arduous researches Stuckwish has managed to identify many of the mysterious creatures in the Bible—the Biblical “cryptids”—that have long mystified the faithful and provided amusement for atheists.
Here’s what he’s found (I’ve added illustrations):
Behemoth (Job 40:15-24). Stuckwish has concluded that ” a sauropod dinosaur such as Diplodocus would fit this description nicely.”
Leviathan (Job 41: 1-34).According to Stuckwish, “One marine reptile that fits leviathan to a tee is the Kronosaurus. Kronosaurus which means ‘lizard of Kronos’. It was among the largest pliosaurs with a total length of 43 feet.”
Unicorns (Job 39:9-12). “There is a dinosaur that fits the unicorn to a tee. It is the Styracosaurus.”
Satyrs (Isaiah 13:21). Here Stuckwish isn’t so sure: “Many cultures describe hairy apelike creatures in their legends.We know and heard about the Yeti and Bigfoot legends.But could these creatures actually be satyrs that are mentioned in the Bible.”
Dragons (Old Testament). Probably another dinosaur. Stuckwish notes (he apparently doesn’t like question marks):
But could the dragon be a dinosaur. The Bible that was translated into English in 1611 did not have the word dinosaur in it because this word was not coined until 1841. Sir Richard Owens came up with this for the huge terrible reptile fossil skeletons being unearthed. Dinosaur means “terrible lizard“. Many dragon legends around the world talk of huge reptilian creatures. China even incorporated the dragon into its calendar along with 11 other animals.
Stuckwithawish doesn’t mention what the “big fish” was that swallowed up Jonah—I presume it’s a whale—but remember that Jonah lived three day’s in the fish’s stomach before he was vomited out on dry land. I doubt anyone can stand gastric juices (much less the lack of oxygen) for that long.
I hope Stuckwish keeps his day job, because this kind of craziness can’t be all that lucrative. And it’s certainly craziness—or wish-thinking—since it presumes, in the face of all evidence, that dinosaurs (which died out about 65 million years ago, except for those that evolved into birds) were contemporaries of humans.