52 thoughts on “The Pope finally tweets

  1. This is the what Ratzinger does with the Exciting New Medium? The Pontiff’s Pious Platitudes, this Dribble of Drivel?

    Religious or not, I’ve read more inspiring messages in fortune cookies.

    1. And if God were really the “solid rock” that is “always beside us”, they would not have to keep reminding us of this over and over again. As Roseanne Rosannadanna might also say, “If it’s not one thing, it’s another thing: either we get nonsensical accusations of scientism, or the Pope is on Twitter … It’s enough to make-a-me sick!”

  2. It appears this “Lord” the Pope keep referring to is some sort of perv: “Offer everything you do to the Lord, ask his help in all the circumstances of daily life and remember that he is always beside you” First he wants everything I have, and then he becomes a stalker.

  3. Twittering the same nonsense makes it no more true. I will have to say that twittering claims like “God is always beside you” look so quaint on something like Twitter, when the next tweet you get could be about how someone died horribly.

  4. 4h: “We can be certain that a believer is never alone…”

    No you can’t. And if you could be certain, then a nonbeliever would likewise never be alone.

    This guys is none too bright.

    1. Reminds me of that joke; You’re never alone with schizophrenia

      Some excerpts from PubMed Health:

      You are more likely to develop schizophrenia if you have a family member with the disease.

      Hearing or seeing things that are not there (hallucinations)

      Strongly held beliefs that are not real (delusions)

  5. I like how when the pope tweets, it’s actually his social media guy tweeting on his behalf. So it’s like a game of telephone. Which is how the bible was written in the first place.

  6. Pope asks: “How can faith in Jesus be lived in a world without hope?”

    Cheer up Pope. It’s not the end of the world yet. There’s still time to shed the shackles of your mind and think freely for yourself. The truth shall set you free.

    1. And as statistics has it, we are getting better at that thing called “society” all the time. (Que Rosling and Pinker.)

      Maybe Ratzinger is saying that we don’t need hope, because it is going well anyway? … nah, not “Mr-I’m-holier-than-thou”.

  7. My answers to those questions:

    “Any suggestions on how to be more prayerful…”

    Fuck no.

    “How can faith in Jesus be lived in a world without hope?”

    Apparently a lot easier than in a world with hope.

    “How can we celebrate the Year of Faith better in our daily lives?”

    By ignoring it. Any more questions?

    1. How can we celebrate the Year of Faith better in our daily lives?

      By hoping the next one is better?

  8. “As Roseanne Rosannadanna might say, “Gee, Pope, you sure ask a lot of questions!””

    They are printed in reverse order, so the one at the bottom is the greeting and then three questions are followed by their “answers” above them.

    I can actually recognise the last (top) two as being a Christian version of karma yoga, the yoga of doing, which I always think is more practical than chanting, breathing or postures. Or as Tom Paine said “… my religion is doing good.”

    It’s so much less cluttered if you leave the Lord out of it.

  9. Such wonderful banality! I particularly liked the one about about believers never being alone. Well, sometimes I like to be alone. I don’t know why the idea of someone following you around and listening to your thoughts is attractive to the religious. I think it would be pretty creepy.

  10. I don’t tweet but Il Papa bemoans the demands of being so ‘busy with the demands of families’. Which ones? Let’s be generous; he ain’t referring to litigious paedo-victims.

    Perhaps it’s the first fruit (and secondary, tertiary) of his loins. Now I know that the Middle Ages Popes weren’t beyond the habitual bit of rumpy-pumpy and the concomitant necessarious nepotism in carving out a Cardinalship for their nearest and God-fearingest.

    But, Jesus, Mary and Joseph, how many families does Benny have? Perhaps, there is a good reason for stressing his third syllable.

  11. Actual tweet sent to the Pope:

    Jesus Was An Alien‏@JWAA

    I hear @Pontifex is on Twitter now .Twitter is 6 years old,so that makes perfect sense. #AskPontifex

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