Sunday lolz: Mittens vs. Mr. Burns

March 4, 2012 • 12:14 pm

UPDATE: I have posted the picture with the correct answers at the bottom. It appears that many of you got most of the answers right, and, in retrospect, they do seem pretty obvious! Two people got all the answers right: Cliff Melick and Lou Jost.  Congrats.


Via Mad magazine (my favorite reading as a young lad), reader Ray, and then Matthew Cobb, we have this quiz. I’ve snipped out the answers, so guess below. I’ll post the answers later.

62 thoughts on “Sunday lolz: Mittens vs. Mr. Burns

        1. At a guess, he’s an old evil rich man in some other American tragicomedy.(I think in real life he might be one of the presidential candidates too, unless that’s already covered by the above.)

  1. I don’t know nor can I guess who said what, but I immediately recognized Vernors at #10. I was introduced to Vernors in the seventies, in Ontario. It is my very favourite softdrink; in fact, it is my favourite drink. I buy it by the case, and if the local supermarkets run out of stock, I go into withdrawal.

    If the answer to #10 is Romney, then the similarity between him and me is purely coincidental; however, he does have good taste in pop/soda.

  2. I’m with bigjohn756 — Who is Mr. Burns?

    If it turns out that Mitt Romney uttered all of them, I will not be surprised.

    By the way, Vernors Ginger Ale is EXCELLENT, but better even yet than Vernors is Old Fitzgerald 100 mixed with Vernors — they are made for each-other (Vernors is wood-aged just as is bourbon).

    1. Thanks for the hint. I may even take up drinking alcohol (in moderation) if there is something I can mix with Vernors and if I can find Old Fitzgerald 100 in Ontario.

      1. Any good oak-aged Canadian whiskey should also be plenty tasty mixed with Vernors (I’m just specially fond of Old Fitz 100 proof sour mash bourbon, which is distilled here in Louisville, KY).

      1. “in the lab fridge” What else lurks in there – I have visions of you drinking the wrong thing by mistake then turning into Mr Hyde!

    2. Wish I could find Vernor’s somewhere near Boston. There were a few places out in California that stocked it, but I’ve never seen it around here.

    3. eh, Vernors is OK but I find it too sweet and cream-soda-y (there’s definitely a fair amount of vanilla flavor in there), especially as a mixer. My friends from Detroit typically drink it with Canadian Club or Black Velvet.

    1. Is there something wrong with varmint, rabbit, or grouse hunting?

      Depends on the species of grouse or rabbit in question, I guess.

      The quotes are included here because 1) in the USA, grouse hunting specifically is largely perceived as a rich man’s pastime (Burns) and 2) Romney has pandered and lied about being a lifelong hunter.

  3. It is common knowledge that democratic candidates for the presidency are always a bunch of paupers. Isn’t it.

    Also, the “concern for the poor” comment is political demagoguery of the kind that Dr. Coyne probably decries when it comes from the right. What’s sauce for the goose says I.

    His comment was meant in the context of policies he would set if he were president. However, if you’re intent on hating someone then I guess you believe what you want.

    (I’m not a republican or an American, just trying to inject some rationality).

    1. There is nothing rational about the present Grand Old Party so I don’t get any of your points?

      1. If I may translate.

        [Republicans can only be bad and therefore I refuse to consider your points.]

        To which I say; spoken like a true religious fundamentalist.

    2. “the “concern for the poor” comment … His comment was meant in the context of policies he would set if he were president.”

      Oh, well that’s alright then. I mean, if it were somehow reflecting his personal prejudice I would have to take issue with it; but if it just refers to real-world actions he would take if given power I guess it doesn’t matter.

      1. Sad. The portrayal of the quote is so often to muddy his character as portraying this as being a personal view of his that he “does not care” for the poor. This is a misconception that I was seeking to clear up.

        However, if you do want to approach it from a policy perspective, then he is clearly saying that an adequate safety net exists for the poor already, hence he doesn’t need to focus on more legislation in that area. So if you take him at his word (I understand you won’t) then policy will continue as it currently does. The unbridled horror!

        1. “he is clearly saying that an adequate safety net exists for the poor already, hence he doesn’t need to focus on more legislation in that area.”

          I think you just proved my point for me.

        2. One could argue that, since he needs an interpreter (you) that perhaps he should have articulated his policy differently.

        3. You should never take politicians at their word. Mitt’s policy, as advocated anyhow, would be to reduce the safety net. And the current system actually is pretty horrible for many people.

          So it’s not a misconception that Romney doesn’t care about the poor, his being dismissive of them in this context is consistent with his general behavior. If your argument is just that he didn’t intend his statement as a blunt admission, well… duh.

    3. Democratic candidates = paupers? Um, well, since 1932, FDR, JFK, LBJ, probably Carter*, Gore & Kerry kinda diminish that argument.

      * Who, if my quick research a few wks ago is correct, is the first reasonably successful farmer to become President since Thomas Jefferson. If you take out the modifiers, then I think you only move up one notch, to James Madison.

  4. 1. mitt
    2. burns
    3. burns
    4. mitt
    5. burns
    6. mitt
    7. burns
    8. burns
    9. mitt
    10. mitt
    11. burns
    12. mitt
    13. burns
    14. burns

  5. Re: #14:
    The conclusion to the sentence is “and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That’s democracy for you.”

  6. I know Burns said 8 & 14. Mittens I’m pretty sure is 4, 6, & 7. The rest could be either one and I don’t feel like googling to find out.

  7. (I’m not a republican or an American, just trying to inject some rationality).

    Oh, keep up the good work. You’re not there yet with the whole rationality injection thing, but if you keep practicing, I’m sure you’ll be sucessful eventually.

  8. (Rubs hands together) Excellent!

    It’s hard to tell the difference between these two and that could be bad news for the United States.

  9. It’s a trick question. Mittens said them all.

    And if he haven’t said them out loud, I can guarantee that he has thought of all those lines at some point in his life.

  10. I know for a fact that Romney said 4, 7 and 12. It seems very probable to me that he also said 1, because it’s a standard Republican line, 6, for the same reason and 9, because as a Mormon, he doesn’t use stimulants.

    #4 was indeed taken out of context. I have no doubt that Romney doesn’t give a rat’s posterior about the very poor (or any other kind of poor, or the middle class for that matter), but in this particular instance he simply expressed the belief that there exists a safety net for the very poor that is absent for middle income Americans (whether he is right is another matter). In the same speech he mentioned that he is not concerned about the very rich either. Yeah, right.

  11. Mitt for sure: 4, 7, 10, 12.
    Someone who like Vernor’s can’t be all bad. Vernor’s and cream at the foot of Woodward back in the ’40s. All kinds of flavors could be added at their soda fountain. Wow!

  12. 1. Burns
    2. Romney
    3. Burns
    4. Romney
    5. Burns
    6. Romney
    7. Romney
    8. Burns
    9. Romney
    10. Romney
    11. Burns
    12. Burns
    13. Romney
    14. Burns

  13. Without cheating… off the top of my head:

    Mittens: 1, 2, 4, 7, 9, 10, 12
    Burns: 3, 5, 6, 8, 11, 13, 14

    1. Damn. Missed two.

      I thought admitting “Corporations are people” (even though it is true, in two limited meanings – legal as per the SCROTUS, and that they are in fact made up of people) would’ve been political suicide. It must’ve been during the first televised Rethuglican debases, which I didn’t have the stomach to watch.

      And “I can’t have illegals!” just sounded way too much like Simpsons scriptwriting to have been anything the Mittmeister would’ve said. Silly me.

  14. Spoiler alert. Sorry, Jerry. Please delete my previous post ASAP! Was not fully awake and thought the “contest” was over. BTW, I love your podcast. You’re very engaging and articulate, and as everyone knows already, very intelligent.

  15. Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum are both in favour of sanctions against Iran, because they think it is a bad thing for religious zealots to have access to nuclear weapons.

    (Mitch Benn on Radio 4)

  16. I’m surprised one of my all-time favorite Burns quotes din’t make this list. “For once, the rich white man is in charge!”

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