Religion brings out the best in everyone

December 29, 2011 • 5:46 am

There are lots of LOLz today.  In The Portable Atheist, Christopher Hitchens offered this challenge: “Name me an ethical statement made or an action performed by a believer that could not have been made or performed by a non-believer.” Here’s a good example: a broom fight by priests over the birthplace of a fictional being.

The Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem, the supposed birthplace of Baby Jesus, is maintained by three religious denominations: the Greek Orthodox Church, the Armenian Orthodox Church, and the Franciscan Order of the Catholic church.  The church is in disrepair, which makes Baby Jesus cry, and the priests are always squabbling about who’s responsible for the upkeep.  Yesterday, while cleaning the church for the New Year, the priests couldn’t contain themselves, and attacked each other with brooms:

As the BBC reports, this squabble is an annual rite:

Groups of priests have clashed before in the church, built on the spot where Christians believe Jesus was born.

“It was a trivial problem that… occurs every year,” Bethlehem police Lt-Col Khaled al-Tamimi told Reuters.

Habitual offenders! But why weren’t they arrested?  This is hilarious:

“No one was arrested because all those involved were men of God,” he said.

h/t: Grania Spingies

59 thoughts on “Religion brings out the best in everyone

  1. One of the priests was catching it all on his iPhone. An evening priest viewing party watching priest footage: bring on the popcorn … these guys are the makers of some wild times!

  2. The Little Baby Jesus may cry for the church’s disrepair, but he must get a belly laugh watching the followers of the Prince of Peace™ with their brooms.

    1. Priests start demolition derby using witch vehicles.

      Police sweep challenged by broom-wielding clergy.

      (OK, enough!)

    2. – Annual wet toga competition. Low admission to see the dirty deed!

      – Police clean church of priests.

  3. Better to fight with brooms than deadly weapons of course. These priests have come a long way since the good old days of religious wars. Oh, come to think of it, those wars are still being fought. The fact that a flying broomstick did not put out someone’s eye is proof that God had a hand in it?
    Flying broomsticks? Do you suppose the fighting priests were just protesting the Harry Potter films?

  4. 11:33 When Jesus therefore saw the mess the priests had made he groaned in the spirit, and was troubled.

    11:34 And said, Now who will clean this House of the Lord. Having no choice Jesus picked a broom from off the floor.

    11:35 Jesus swept.

  5. hilarious. And now to come, a West Side Story style gang fight between the competing sites for JC’s tomb.

    1. When you’re a sect
      You’re a sect all the way
      From your first genuflect
      To your last dying day….

  6. I am somewhat doubtful about the interpretation of whats going on here. Why do some of those clerics have their face covered? Unless there is some new bizarre religious ritual I am unaware of, clerics showing up for sacred sweeping duty wouldn’t cover their faces. Something else going on here.

    1. Early in the clip, before the fight breaks out, one priest is visible spreading a cleaning solution on the floor. It could be high-concentration ammonium or bleach (hopefully either/or, never both are used). The masks look like simple filter masks commonly worn by commuters in cities with lots of air pollution, or by cleaning staff when handling heavy-duty cleaners.

  7. Ben brings Bim’s broom.
    Bim brings Ben’s broom.

    Ben bends Bim’s broom.
    Bim bends Ben’s broom.

    Ben breaks Bim’s broom.
    Bim breaks Ben’s broom.

    When I heard abuot this all I could think of was Dr Seuss’s book, Fox in Socks. But really this was more like the Tweetle Beetle Battle in a puddle, but they should have used paddles.

  8. Little has changed in one thousand years. Gibbon contrasting Jerusalem ruled by the Muslims versus the Christians:

    The most interesting conquest of the Seljukian Turks was that of Jerusalem, which soon became the theatre of nations. In their capitulation with Omar, the inhabitants had stipulated the assurance of their religion and property; … and the sepulchre of Christ, with the church of the Resurrection, was still left in the hands of his votaries. Of these votaries, the most numerous and respectable portion were strangers to Jerusalem: the pilgrimages to the Holy Land had been stimulated, rather than suppressed, by the conquest of the Arabs; … The harmony of prayer in so many various tongues, the worship of so many nations in the common temple of their religion, might have afforded a spectacle of edification and peace; but the zeal of the Christian sects was imbittered by hatred and revenge; and in the kingdom of a suffering Messiah, who had pardoned his enemies, they aspired to command and persecute their spiritual brethren.
    The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, Vol. 5, Chap. 57

    Gibbon on the conquest of Jerusalem by the Christians:

    About four hundred and sixty years after the conquest of Omar, the holy city was rescued from the Mahometan yoke. In the pillage of public and private wealth, the adventurers had agreed to respect the exclusive property of the first occupant; and the spoils of the great mosque, seventy lamps and massy vases of gold and silver, rewarded the diligence, and displayed the generosity, of Tancred. A bloody sacrifice was offered by his mistaken votaries to the God of the Christians: resistance might provoke but neither age nor sex could mollify, their implacable rage: they indulged themselves three days in a promiscuous massacre; and the infection of the dead bodies produced an epidemical disease. After seventy thousand Moslems had been put to the sword, and the harmless Jews had been burnt in their synagogue, they could still reserve a multitude of captives, whom interest or lassitude persuaded them to spare. … Bareheaded and barefoot, with contrite hearts, and in an humble posture, they ascended the hill of Calvary, amidst the loud anthems of the clergy; kissed the stone which had covered the Savior of the world; and bedewed with tears of joy and penitence the monument of their redemption. … nor shall I believe that the most ardent in slaughter and rapine were the foremost in the procession to the holy sepulchre.
    The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, Vol. 5, Chap. 58

  9. My wife heard me playing this video and commented “that’s either a fight or a rowdy church service.”

    I replied, “it’s a little of both!”

  10. Gives new meaning to the African-American slave idiom for getting married, “jump de broom.”

  11. I watched this video on a short segment of the CBS Evening News last night (Dec 28). I laughed for at least a couple of minutes.

    I then thought this sure would be good fodder for atheist bloggers. Thank you Dr. Coyne for posting this. This video shows yet again the failings of Christianity.

  12. Just a further comment on the multiplicity of the Christian sects involves in these periodic punch-ups in the Holy Land’s holy places. The Church of the Holy Sepulchre (the one commemorating the other end of the life of Jesus)is shared among five Christian sects (really two major — Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox, plus three minor ones). The infighting was so intense that it took an international treaty in 1853 to establish the ground-rules. The bad feeling is argued to have been a factor in/excuse for the outbreak of the Crimean War (France, Britain, Piedmont and Turkey vs. Russia) a couple of years later.

    Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition!

  13. Needless to say, this is no a moral action or ethical statement. Therefore, sorry Dr. Coyne, but you have failed.

    Rabbi David Wolpe also tried to answer this in a debate with Hitch by saying that “praying” was something non-believers could not do. He met with the same dispiriting response: “Well, that’s right, I suppose we can’t pray, but that’s certainly not a moral action”, Hitchens quipped.

    1. Of course non-believers can talk out loud (or subvocalized in our heads) to the air — which is exactly what believers are doing when they “pray.”

      Hitchens was correct that this isn’t a moral action. Deluding yourself into believing that you are hearing/experiencing some kind of response from the air is also not a moral action.

      1. Believer to Hitchens, “I’ll pray for you,”

        Hitchens to believer, “And I’ll think of you.”

    2. And several of the christian’s gods said unto the christian leaders; Neither shall you sit or stand, nor humiliate the witches with broom on floor, without partaking of holy war.

    3. Correct. The absence of moral action in priests is a recurring troublesome phenomena.

      Seems not even brooms suffice to make the religious act clean.

  14. I’d like to point out that the video mentions only two groups fighting each other, namely Greek Orthodox and Armenian clerics, but not Roman Catholics.
    Just sayin’ :-).

    1. Well, that makes a change.

      Now if they could butt out of programs trying to deliver condoms to AIDS ridden areas of the world, lay off trying to strong arm organisations that offer birth control options to women who need them and stop interfering with official investigations into the rape and subsequent cover-up of young children we’d be getting somewhere.

      1. Now you are not being realistic. They are, after all, Roman Catholics. But not beating other priests with sticks over the upkeep of a holy place should count for something.

  15. I saw this and was bent double with laughter. I tried hard to control myslef, but failed. this has had direct, laundry-staining consequences (there’s cholera about ; I’ve been lucky so far). But it was worth it, including the shower afterwards.

    Habitual offenders! But why weren’t they arrested? This is hilarious:
    “No one was arrested because all those involved were men of God,” he said.

    Hang on … I recognise that one … It was in a book. not the Sicilian Defence, not Fischer’s Phalanx … Ah, got it : it’s the Buggering Bishop defence. Impervious to testimony by generations of little pawns.

  16. I’m thinking that if this happens every year then it’s not so much a spontaneous brawl as a scheduled event to which people come expecting a fight to break out. (Kind of like a hockey game, I suppose.)

  17. They might have been inspired the Lathmar Holi religious celebration in Barsana near Mathura in India (which has now become a tourist attraction). From the Wikipedia page (emphasis mine):

    Legend has it that Lord Krishna visited his beloved Radha’s village on this day and playfully teased her and her friends. Taking offence at this, the women of Barsana chased him away.
    ……


    In the sprawling compound of the Radha Rani temple in Barsana, thousands gather to witness the Lath Mar holi when women beat up men with sticks as those on the sidelines become hysterical, sing Holi Songs and shout Sri Radhey or Sri Krishna.

  18. While they continue to fight about their fictitious god, the building is unfortunately decaying, which offends me from a cultural/historical perspective.

  19. Surely you haven’t forgot the bloody 30yrs war between supporters of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and The Invisible Pink Unicorn during which someone scratched a finger! How could you?

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